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batsutousaiTitle: To Be A Woman
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
batsutousai
Beta: me, for now, because I wanted to get this out. I'll send it tomagickmaker17 tomorrow.
Pairings: Hermione/Ginevra and Tom/Draco/Harry
Warnings: AU, Transsexualism, Slash, Fem-slash, Child Abuse(mild), Cross-dressing
Summary: Harry's known his whole life that he is different from his male cousin, but his relatives, who take cake of him, did everything to hide it. When given a chance do live as he wishes, what will Harry do?
Disclaim Her: Eh. Ask a stupid question.
Feedback: Lovely, as long as you’ve read the author’s notes and don’t ask stupid questions. *glares at readers pointedly*
Chapter Six: Intruding Nightmares
Hermione woke to the sound of whimpers and glanced over at Harry’s bed. The boy had curled up in a ball and was whimpering softly.
“Harry?”
“ ‘Mione?” Gin blinked up at her friend from her bed. “What time is it?”
Hermione glanced at the clock. “Two.”
“Why are you up?”
“Har was whimpering.” Hermione slipped from her bed and moved towards Harry’s bed. The boy had kicked his blanket to the ground and was shivering. “Harry?” She put a hand on his shoulder gently.
An ear-piercing scream filled the room and Hermione jumped back, tripping over the blankets and landing on her butt in the middle of the floor. Gin ran over and knelt next to her. “Okay?”
“He must be having a nightmare.”
“Has he had them since you guys got here?”
“Once, but he had to wake up on his own…” Hermione bit her lip and watched the boy on the bed. “Oh, Har…”
“Idea?”
“He screams if you touch him, Gin,” Hermione hissed.
“Perhaps Tom or Draco could help,” Gin bit out, started by the vehemence in Hermione's voice.
“I don’t see…”
“Do you want to watch him suffer?”
“…no…”
Gin stood, frowning. “I run faster than you, so I’ll go down to Slytherin and get them-”
“Call their room. The phone number’s on the pad of paper next to ours,” Hermione replied.
“Duh, phones.” Gin sighed and picked up the cordless phone. She dialed the number and waited, tapping her foot. “They’re probably asleep…”
“Who’sit?”
“Tom?”
“Gin? Why the fuck are you calling us at two in the bleeding morning?”
“This is probably going to sound stupid to-“
“Less words.”
“Sorry. Look, Har’s having a nightmare and we can’t wake him.”
“Can’t wake him? I’m awake now, please explain.”
Gin groaned and ran a hand through her hair. “He gets nightmares sometimes. If we touch him, he screams, so we can’t wake him up.”
“Throw a glass of cold water on ‘im.”
Gin cocked an eyebrow at Hermione. “ ‘Mione, what about a glass of cold water?”
Hermione shuddered. “No. Never again.”
“Now that sounds bad,” Tom murmured. Gin heard a grunt on Tom’s end and frowned. “Up, idiot. I’ll be up with Draco in a moment. I doubt we can wake him, but perhaps it will help to be there when he wakes?”
“I hope so. Thanks, Tom.”
“Mmhm. Draconis Ciestro Malfoy, if you don’t get your arse out of bed, I’ll leave you down here,” Tom threatened.
Gin smiled faintly and hung up. “Tom’s getting Draco up and then they’ll come up here.”
Hermione twirled a lock of her hair, eyes watching Harry twitch. “Oh, I hope they can do something…”
Gin grabbed Hermione’s chin and forced the girl to look at her. “Go downstairs and wait for Tom and Draco.”
“But-“
“Go, ‘Mione. You’re turning yourself into a nervous wreck,” Gin ordered, pushing the girl towards the door. “I’ll watch Har.”
“Don’t touch him…”
“I promise. Now go.”
Hermione spared one last glance back at the boy in the bed before running from the room.
-~*~-
“Explain these nightmares to us,” Draco ordered as soon as Hermione opened the common room door for them.
“I don’t know what they are, but I usually wake to her whimpering. She screams if anything touches her, even blankets, if you try and put them back on,” Hermione explained softly, mindful of the rest of her House.
“She kicks them off first?” Draco inquired, frowning.
Tom ignored the questions and hurried down the hall. She pushed open the door to the Gryffindor girls’ room. “Gin?”
“Tom, come in.” Gin smiled, but it was strained.
Tom glanced over at Harry, who was still whimpering, as she stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind her. “This cannot be good.”
Gin sighed. “There’s nothing we can do, either.”
Tom scowled as the door opened again. “There’s got to be something…”
“Well, I know of nothing,” Hermione offered, closing the door behind herself and Draco.
Draco bit his lip. “I don’t remember reading anything about this in Father’s library.”
Tom shook her head and stepped up next to Harry’s bed. “Harry?”
“It won’t work,” Hermione whispered, tugging on her hair again. Gin grabbed her hands and held them in her own.
Tom frowned at the two Gryffindors. “I can’t just stand here and do nothing,” she hissed.
Draco sighed and walked over to Tom’s side. “You make me feel useless, you know that, right?”
Tom cocked an eyebrow at the boy. “Good, ‘cause you are.”
“Stop fighting,” Harry groaned from the bed.
“Harry!” Hermione and Gin’s eyes lit up and they stepped forward.
“He’s not awake…” Tom murmured, frowning at the boy. “But he’s stopped whimpering… Harry? Harry, you need to wake up.”
“Come on, Harry,” Draco chimed in pleadingly. “You have to wake up and stop Tom from killing me.”
“Killing?” Tom turned to frown at Draco. “Murder, my friend, isn’t my style.”
“Fine. Harry, you have to keep Tom from deflowering me.”
“I’m going to pound you into mash for that one, you arsehole.”
“You can’t be deflowered if you’re not a virgin,” Harry muttered, blinking up at them wearly. “What are you two doing in here, anyway?”
“Oh, Har, you were having another nightmare, so we asked them to come up,” Hermione half-cried, coming to stand at the end of the bed with Gin.
“…oh…” Harry looked down at his jeans and started picking at a large hole.
Draco rolled his eyes and turned to Hermione and Gin. “Miss Granger, Miss Weasley, I was wondering if we might trade rooms for the night? You two can go down to the Slytherin dorms and plot with Pan and Blaise, as I’m sure you normally do.”
“But-“
Gin put a hand over Hermione’s mouth, shutting her up. “Planning on dressing as Gryffindors tomorrow?”
“No, I brought our uniforms, in case we had to spend the night,” Tom answered brightly, leaning on Draco’s left shoulder. The blonde shoved her off, only to have Tom return with more of her weight. Harry giggled quietly at the two.
Hermione glanced down at Harry and sighed. “Right. Plotting.” She offered a pained smile. “You alright, Har?”
Harry shrugged. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Tom and Draco traded dark looks, much to the amusement of the two female Gryffindors.
“Right, we get to play Slytherins then.” Gin pulled both her and Hermione’s uniforms from the wardrobe they shared. “Come on, ‘Mione.”
“Good night, then,” Hermione offered before allowing herself to be dragged from the room.
“Hey, Draco?”
“Hum?” Draco glanced down at Harry, who was smiling coyly.
“Why do you colour-coordinate your pajamas?”
Tom snorted in amusement while Draco scowled. “He’s got green-toed socks on, too.”
Harry grinned. “Mine are red-toed.”
“Whadaya know.” Tom smirked. “Mine are old and grey.”
Draco punched the girl in annoyance while Harry laughed. “Prat.”
Tom rubbed at her arm, frowning at Harry’s jeans. “Those your cousin’s?”
Harry picked at a hole again. “Yeah. I got them from him seven or eight years ago.”
Draco gaped at the boy. “Seven or eight years ago? Fuck, Harry. I’m gonna have to take you shopping.”
Harry cocked an eyebrow at the boy. “I have plenty clothing to wear, Draco. These pants are just comfortable.”
“Harry, you live in a dorm, now.” Draco sighed, sitting down on the bed gently. “You should wear something comfortable, yes, but it also needs to be presentable. These jeans, much as you might like them, are nasty and should be thrown out.”
“No.”
“Harry…” Draco groaned and gave Tom a pleading look.
“Naw, I think everyone should show a bit of skin. Keep the jeans!” Tom suggested brightly, throwing herself onto the bed and laying next to Harry, legs hanging over the edge of the bed.
“Says the girl who’s totally covered up,” Draco grumbled.
“You want skin, Malfoy?” Tom asked, lifting her shirt hem.
“Please, no. Keep your shirt on, Tom.” Draco hid his face in his hands.
“Thank you for the offer, Draco, but I like the clothing I have.” Harry rested his head on Draco’s shoulder, smiling.
“Tell us about these nightmares.” Tom raised herself up on one elbow and gazed at Harry.
Harry hid his face in Draco’s shoulder, shaking his head.
Draco tugged the Gryffindor into his lap with a sigh. "Come on, Harry. Perhaps we can help?"
"Doubtful."
"You don't know that for certain," Tom shot back gently.
Harry sighed. "It's… I dunno. It's got something to do with the night my parents died."
Draco wrinkled his brow. "Weren't they murdered?"
“Yeah.” Harry nodded.
“By who?” Tom inquired, frowning.
Harry shrugged. “Voldemort.”
Draco winced while Tom let out a strangled sound. “You said his name,” the girl said once she’d calmed down a bit.
Harry blinked. “Should I not have?”
“I’ve never known anyone to do that, that’s all,” Tom replied, rubbing at her face. “What did they do so much to piss him off?”
“They were a part of the group who was working to bring about his downfall,” Draco supplied knowledgably. “Severus and Father are also members.”
“What group is it?” Tom inquired curiously.
“Order of the Phoenix,” Harry and Draco chorused before grinning.
Tom rolled her eyes. “Obviously, they haven’t done a very good job.”
“At least he’d left for a while there,” Draco retorted. “The Order managed that much.”
“Yeah. But he’s back,” Tom sneered.
Harry rubbed at his forehead subconsciously. ‘I don’t see why Tom’s so worried about it. According to Aunt Petunia, I’m the one who should be worried.’
“He hasn’t been back for long,” Draco shot back, also sneering.
“Would you two stop?” Harry requested tiredly.
“Sorry, Harry,” Draco and Tom chorused.
All three students were quiet for a long moment, until Tom spoke. “So, what happens in your nightmares?”
“Hm?” Harry blinked up at the girl. “I remember seeing them die, that’s all. It was pretty gruesome...”
Draco tightened his arms around the smaller boy. "Oh, Harry..."
Harry buried his face in Draco's shirt. "I'm tired."
Tom and Draco shared a look. "Well then, why don't you go back to sleep. Draco and I'll be right here," Tom said softly.
Harry nodded and relaxed against Draco.
The two Slytherins waited until Harry's breathing had evened out before moving Harry into the centre of the bed and laying down on either side. They didn't expect to get much sleep, but at least they could be there.
-~/\~-
-~\/~-
A/N: Hn. Wasn't quite sure how to end that scene. Hope it worked.
So, I re-did a lot of the dolls, added some new ones, and moved the site. It can now be found here: www.angelfire.com/crazy/hpdolls/ Feel free to look it over.
One fairly important thing that I changed through working on the site is that Flitwick is no longer the Head of Ravenclaw, Lupin is. If you look at the Professors' page on my site you'll get a better idea as to why I changed that.
Much love!
~Bats
Chapters:
First 5 chapters on website.
6 - Intruding Nightmares ||| 7 - Luna Lovegood ||| 8 - The Great Potter Mystery
9 - The Scrapbook's Curse ||| 10 - What it Means to Be Wanted ||| 11 - Iona Gates
12 - Dresses & Partners
Discontinued
Author:
batsutousaiBeta: me, for now, because I wanted to get this out. I'll send it to
magickmaker17 tomorrow.Pairings: Hermione/Ginevra and Tom/Draco/Harry
Warnings: AU, Transsexualism, Slash, Fem-slash, Child Abuse(mild), Cross-dressing
Summary: Harry's known his whole life that he is different from his male cousin, but his relatives, who take cake of him, did everything to hide it. When given a chance do live as he wishes, what will Harry do?
Disclaim Her: Eh. Ask a stupid question.
Feedback: Lovely, as long as you’ve read the author’s notes and don’t ask stupid questions. *glares at readers pointedly*
Hermione woke to the sound of whimpers and glanced over at Harry’s bed. The boy had curled up in a ball and was whimpering softly.
“Harry?”
“ ‘Mione?” Gin blinked up at her friend from her bed. “What time is it?”
Hermione glanced at the clock. “Two.”
“Why are you up?”
“Har was whimpering.” Hermione slipped from her bed and moved towards Harry’s bed. The boy had kicked his blanket to the ground and was shivering. “Harry?” She put a hand on his shoulder gently.
An ear-piercing scream filled the room and Hermione jumped back, tripping over the blankets and landing on her butt in the middle of the floor. Gin ran over and knelt next to her. “Okay?”
“He must be having a nightmare.”
“Has he had them since you guys got here?”
“Once, but he had to wake up on his own…” Hermione bit her lip and watched the boy on the bed. “Oh, Har…”
“Idea?”
“He screams if you touch him, Gin,” Hermione hissed.
“Perhaps Tom or Draco could help,” Gin bit out, started by the vehemence in Hermione's voice.
“I don’t see…”
“Do you want to watch him suffer?”
“…no…”
Gin stood, frowning. “I run faster than you, so I’ll go down to Slytherin and get them-”
“Call their room. The phone number’s on the pad of paper next to ours,” Hermione replied.
“Duh, phones.” Gin sighed and picked up the cordless phone. She dialed the number and waited, tapping her foot. “They’re probably asleep…”
“Who’sit?”
“Tom?”
“Gin? Why the fuck are you calling us at two in the bleeding morning?”
“This is probably going to sound stupid to-“
“Less words.”
“Sorry. Look, Har’s having a nightmare and we can’t wake him.”
“Can’t wake him? I’m awake now, please explain.”
Gin groaned and ran a hand through her hair. “He gets nightmares sometimes. If we touch him, he screams, so we can’t wake him up.”
“Throw a glass of cold water on ‘im.”
Gin cocked an eyebrow at Hermione. “ ‘Mione, what about a glass of cold water?”
Hermione shuddered. “No. Never again.”
“Now that sounds bad,” Tom murmured. Gin heard a grunt on Tom’s end and frowned. “Up, idiot. I’ll be up with Draco in a moment. I doubt we can wake him, but perhaps it will help to be there when he wakes?”
“I hope so. Thanks, Tom.”
“Mmhm. Draconis Ciestro Malfoy, if you don’t get your arse out of bed, I’ll leave you down here,” Tom threatened.
Gin smiled faintly and hung up. “Tom’s getting Draco up and then they’ll come up here.”
Hermione twirled a lock of her hair, eyes watching Harry twitch. “Oh, I hope they can do something…”
Gin grabbed Hermione’s chin and forced the girl to look at her. “Go downstairs and wait for Tom and Draco.”
“But-“
“Go, ‘Mione. You’re turning yourself into a nervous wreck,” Gin ordered, pushing the girl towards the door. “I’ll watch Har.”
“Don’t touch him…”
“I promise. Now go.”
Hermione spared one last glance back at the boy in the bed before running from the room.
“Explain these nightmares to us,” Draco ordered as soon as Hermione opened the common room door for them.
“I don’t know what they are, but I usually wake to her whimpering. She screams if anything touches her, even blankets, if you try and put them back on,” Hermione explained softly, mindful of the rest of her House.
“She kicks them off first?” Draco inquired, frowning.
Tom ignored the questions and hurried down the hall. She pushed open the door to the Gryffindor girls’ room. “Gin?”
“Tom, come in.” Gin smiled, but it was strained.
Tom glanced over at Harry, who was still whimpering, as she stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind her. “This cannot be good.”
Gin sighed. “There’s nothing we can do, either.”
Tom scowled as the door opened again. “There’s got to be something…”
“Well, I know of nothing,” Hermione offered, closing the door behind herself and Draco.
Draco bit his lip. “I don’t remember reading anything about this in Father’s library.”
Tom shook her head and stepped up next to Harry’s bed. “Harry?”
“It won’t work,” Hermione whispered, tugging on her hair again. Gin grabbed her hands and held them in her own.
Tom frowned at the two Gryffindors. “I can’t just stand here and do nothing,” she hissed.
Draco sighed and walked over to Tom’s side. “You make me feel useless, you know that, right?”
Tom cocked an eyebrow at the boy. “Good, ‘cause you are.”
“Stop fighting,” Harry groaned from the bed.
“Harry!” Hermione and Gin’s eyes lit up and they stepped forward.
“He’s not awake…” Tom murmured, frowning at the boy. “But he’s stopped whimpering… Harry? Harry, you need to wake up.”
“Come on, Harry,” Draco chimed in pleadingly. “You have to wake up and stop Tom from killing me.”
“Killing?” Tom turned to frown at Draco. “Murder, my friend, isn’t my style.”
“Fine. Harry, you have to keep Tom from deflowering me.”
“I’m going to pound you into mash for that one, you arsehole.”
“You can’t be deflowered if you’re not a virgin,” Harry muttered, blinking up at them wearly. “What are you two doing in here, anyway?”
“Oh, Har, you were having another nightmare, so we asked them to come up,” Hermione half-cried, coming to stand at the end of the bed with Gin.
“…oh…” Harry looked down at his jeans and started picking at a large hole.
Draco rolled his eyes and turned to Hermione and Gin. “Miss Granger, Miss Weasley, I was wondering if we might trade rooms for the night? You two can go down to the Slytherin dorms and plot with Pan and Blaise, as I’m sure you normally do.”
“But-“
Gin put a hand over Hermione’s mouth, shutting her up. “Planning on dressing as Gryffindors tomorrow?”
“No, I brought our uniforms, in case we had to spend the night,” Tom answered brightly, leaning on Draco’s left shoulder. The blonde shoved her off, only to have Tom return with more of her weight. Harry giggled quietly at the two.
Hermione glanced down at Harry and sighed. “Right. Plotting.” She offered a pained smile. “You alright, Har?”
Harry shrugged. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Tom and Draco traded dark looks, much to the amusement of the two female Gryffindors.
“Right, we get to play Slytherins then.” Gin pulled both her and Hermione’s uniforms from the wardrobe they shared. “Come on, ‘Mione.”
“Good night, then,” Hermione offered before allowing herself to be dragged from the room.
“Hey, Draco?”
“Hum?” Draco glanced down at Harry, who was smiling coyly.
“Why do you colour-coordinate your pajamas?”
Tom snorted in amusement while Draco scowled. “He’s got green-toed socks on, too.”
Harry grinned. “Mine are red-toed.”
“Whadaya know.” Tom smirked. “Mine are old and grey.”
Draco punched the girl in annoyance while Harry laughed. “Prat.”
Tom rubbed at her arm, frowning at Harry’s jeans. “Those your cousin’s?”
Harry picked at a hole again. “Yeah. I got them from him seven or eight years ago.”
Draco gaped at the boy. “Seven or eight years ago? Fuck, Harry. I’m gonna have to take you shopping.”
Harry cocked an eyebrow at the boy. “I have plenty clothing to wear, Draco. These pants are just comfortable.”
“Harry, you live in a dorm, now.” Draco sighed, sitting down on the bed gently. “You should wear something comfortable, yes, but it also needs to be presentable. These jeans, much as you might like them, are nasty and should be thrown out.”
“No.”
“Harry…” Draco groaned and gave Tom a pleading look.
“Naw, I think everyone should show a bit of skin. Keep the jeans!” Tom suggested brightly, throwing herself onto the bed and laying next to Harry, legs hanging over the edge of the bed.
“Says the girl who’s totally covered up,” Draco grumbled.
“You want skin, Malfoy?” Tom asked, lifting her shirt hem.
“Please, no. Keep your shirt on, Tom.” Draco hid his face in his hands.
“Thank you for the offer, Draco, but I like the clothing I have.” Harry rested his head on Draco’s shoulder, smiling.
“Tell us about these nightmares.” Tom raised herself up on one elbow and gazed at Harry.
Harry hid his face in Draco’s shoulder, shaking his head.
Draco tugged the Gryffindor into his lap with a sigh. "Come on, Harry. Perhaps we can help?"
"Doubtful."
"You don't know that for certain," Tom shot back gently.
Harry sighed. "It's… I dunno. It's got something to do with the night my parents died."
Draco wrinkled his brow. "Weren't they murdered?"
“Yeah.” Harry nodded.
“By who?” Tom inquired, frowning.
Harry shrugged. “Voldemort.”
Draco winced while Tom let out a strangled sound. “You said his name,” the girl said once she’d calmed down a bit.
Harry blinked. “Should I not have?”
“I’ve never known anyone to do that, that’s all,” Tom replied, rubbing at her face. “What did they do so much to piss him off?”
“They were a part of the group who was working to bring about his downfall,” Draco supplied knowledgably. “Severus and Father are also members.”
“What group is it?” Tom inquired curiously.
“Order of the Phoenix,” Harry and Draco chorused before grinning.
Tom rolled her eyes. “Obviously, they haven’t done a very good job.”
“At least he’d left for a while there,” Draco retorted. “The Order managed that much.”
“Yeah. But he’s back,” Tom sneered.
Harry rubbed at his forehead subconsciously. ‘I don’t see why Tom’s so worried about it. According to Aunt Petunia, I’m the one who should be worried.’
“He hasn’t been back for long,” Draco shot back, also sneering.
“Would you two stop?” Harry requested tiredly.
“Sorry, Harry,” Draco and Tom chorused.
All three students were quiet for a long moment, until Tom spoke. “So, what happens in your nightmares?”
“Hm?” Harry blinked up at the girl. “I remember seeing them die, that’s all. It was pretty gruesome...”
Draco tightened his arms around the smaller boy. "Oh, Harry..."
Harry buried his face in Draco's shirt. "I'm tired."
Tom and Draco shared a look. "Well then, why don't you go back to sleep. Draco and I'll be right here," Tom said softly.
Harry nodded and relaxed against Draco.
The two Slytherins waited until Harry's breathing had evened out before moving Harry into the centre of the bed and laying down on either side. They didn't expect to get much sleep, but at least they could be there.
-~\/~-
A/N: Hn. Wasn't quite sure how to end that scene. Hope it worked.
So, I re-did a lot of the dolls, added some new ones, and moved the site. It can now be found here: www.angelfire.com/crazy/hpdolls/ Feel free to look it over.
One fairly important thing that I changed through working on the site is that Flitwick is no longer the Head of Ravenclaw, Lupin is. If you look at the Professors' page on my site you'll get a better idea as to why I changed that.
Much love!
~Bats
First 5 chapters on website.
9 - The Scrapbook's Curse ||| 10 - What it Means to Be Wanted ||| 11 - Iona Gates
12 - Dresses & Partners
Discontinued
.
no subject
Date: 4/12/05 22:44 (UTC)Anyway... poor Harry (s)he's not having a fun time is (s)he? I'm glad you got past your block on this...
Floss
no subject
Date: 5/12/05 04:02 (UTC)No. And I don't foresee it getting much better anytime soon, either - though I do plan on giving him a break for a bit...
Aye.
no subject
Date: 5/12/05 01:01 (UTC)no subject
Date: 5/12/05 04:04 (UTC)*shifty eyes* More on Voldemort and what he has to do with our triad will come to light soon....I hope.... *only has vague ideas for what's she's planning on doing with Voldemort*
no subject
Date: 5/12/05 12:00 (UTC)no subject
Date: 5/12/05 19:24 (UTC)YAYE!!!!
no subject
Date: 5/12/05 21:26 (UTC)I think you're crazy...
Btw I've never read a chapter before this of this fic, so I can't really say anything about it ^.^, sry ^^
no subject
Date: 6/12/05 02:56 (UTC)no subject
Date: 8/12/05 03:57 (UTC)