![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
batsutousaiTitle: Noblesse Oblige
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Author: Batsutousai/![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
batsutousai
Beta: Shara Lunison/tsuki_no_suzu & Shivani/grazhir
Chapters: 3 of 19
Rating: T
Pairings: Seifer/Squall, Irvine/Selphie, Zell/Xu, Quistis/OMC, Fujin/Raijin
Warnings: AU, major canon-buggery, OoC Squall
Summary: No one thought to warn Squall against touching his younger self, and he leaves a part of himself behind when he returns to Time Compression.
A/N: This chapter gave me something of a surprise twist. Remember what I said in chapter one about self-writing characters? Yeah. That.
I blame Cid.
Also, I swore I updated this chapter on Tuesday, like I was supposed to, but apparently I dreamed that. So… Two chapters being posted today, this one and chapter four. Sorry for the mix-up.
LJ-only edit: Because of the Russian elections and the subsequent DDoS attacks this weekend, I decided to wait until today to post this chapter and the next with chapter five. So you get three updates today.
Not that anyone on LJ is reading this, I think. Or, if you are, you're not letting me know about it. Meanies. *sticks tongue out*
-0-0-0-
Burn Up the Tracks
-0-0-0-
"I don't know why I have to come with," Seifer muttered as Raijin led the way through Balamb to the weapons shop. Another year had gone by and the spring holidays had come again. This time, Squall and he were considered old enough to leave the Garden and go into town, so long as they only visited Balamb. Since Raijin was from Balamb, taking him made sense, but Squall had then proceeded to drag Seifer along as well, paying no heed to his refusals.
"Because I said so," Squall replied. "Now stop whining."
"No."
Squall sighed and rubbed tiredly at his non-existent scar, a bad habit he'd developed since his return to Garden. No one thought to question the odd motion, although Seifer had shot him more than one curious look when the blond caught him at it.
"Here," Raijin interrupted their silence, stopping in front of the shop.
"Thanks, Rai," Squall said, grabbing Seifer's arm and dragging the other boy in after him. "We shouldn't be long!"
Raijin waved them off and wandered into the convenience shop next door for something to snack on while he waited.
In the weapons shop, Squall and Seifer were met by a grinning man. "You boys look a little young to be in here."
"We're from Garden," Squall replied in the sharp voice he used for idiots. Hearing it directed at an adult made Seifer smile even as said adult frowned a bit. "We're looking for gunblades."
"Now, that's a mighty difficult weapon for–"
"Revolver-style for me, pistol-style for him," Squall added, refusing to take no for an answer.
"Huh? For me?" Seifer asked, looking startled. "But I can't use the gunblade." He'd tested one of the Garden gunblades the month before and been quite upset to realise he couldn't get the hang of it. It was too heavy to use one-handed, and the grip was too small for him to wield it comfortably two-handed.
"You can't use the revolver-style," Squall corrected as the shopkeep hunted down his minor stock of gunblades, muttering to himself about pushy brats. "The pistol-style gunblades tend to be a bit lighter, so you can stick with that ridiculous one-handed fighting style you enjoy so much."
"There's nothing wrong with having a free hand!"
"Here you are, boys," the shopkeep said, holding out the two simplest gunblades he had in the styles the brunet had specified. He really hated rich kids and their insistence that they get exactly what they wanted, though he had to admit that the one boy clearly knew at least something about gunblades.
Squall motioned for Seifer to give Pistol – a much lighter and simpler version of the Hyperion Squall remembered – a try. Seifer took it with an uncertain look and took a moment to figure out the grip, then he turned to the side, ensuring he had some space, and swung it. He blinked in surprise at how light it was. "Huh. Not bad."
Squall smirked and accepted Revolver. He gripped the familiar weapon and absently pretended to parry a blow while also looking it over with a sharp eye. He trusted this shop to keep only good weapons in stock, but he knew better than to completely trust that, especially with a weapon as unusual as a gunblade. Certain that the blade and built-in gun were in good order, he turned to where Seifer was enjoying his newest toy. "Let me see that, you idiot."
Seifer grinned and handed the weapon over so Squall could check it. "That is an awesome gunblade. You never told me there were different styles."
"Watching you mope was more fun," Squall replied drily, nodding that the weapon was fine. "We'll take them."
Seifer's expression fell a bit at that. "Squally, I don't have the money–"
"I've got enough for a couple dozen gunblades, with all the tutoring I've been doing," Squall interrupted. "You'll just have to pay me back by being my training partner." He shot Seifer an evil little smile.
Seifer sighed and shook his head, giving in, as the shopkeep said, "Two hundred gil."
Squall pulled out the required money and passed it over, then accepted the sheaths the man handed over for the gunblades. Revolver was slipped into place on the extra belt he wore and rested almost naturally against his behind. Seifer had a bit more trouble figuring out where Pistol would go, uncomfortable with the long blade sticking out behind him. He finally settled on swinging it over one shoulder and across his back, where it rested comfortably above his knees.
Weapons in place, the two cadets left to hunt down Raijin, who they found outside, talking to a bouncing boy with blond hair spiked in a ridiculous hair-style.
"Oiy, Rai!" Seifer called, grinning a bit madly at his friend.
Raijin and the boy he was talking to both turned and Squall took a moment to enjoy seeing Zell's eyes widen with recognition, then he offered, "Hi, Zell."
"Squall! Seifer!" Zell grinned and bounced a bit more. "What're you two doing in Balamb?"
"We're at Garden," Seifer offered as he and Squall joined the other two out of the flow of foot traffic. He reached out and mussed Zell's hair, asking, "Why is there a chocobo's behind on your head?"
"Wha–!" Zell swatted at Seifer's hands, making the older blond laugh. "Why are you always such an ass?"
"Oooh... Zell said a bad word!"
Squall sighed and smacked the back of Seifer's head. "How are you, Zell?" he asked lightly as Seifer made a pitiful face and rubbed at his head.
Zell grinned at the brunet. "I'm okay. I got accepted to Garden myself, this year! Raijin got in and all, right? So I figured I'd give it a shot. There's a whole bunch of us that got accepted."
"I didn't know you guys knew each other, ya know?" Raijin added, smiling a bit to himself at seeing his friends getting along. Well, as much as Seifer ever got on with anyone not in the 'posse' – Squall's term for them. For all that Squall was really quiet and tended to exude a sort of unapproachable air, his time tutoring kids had made him one of the most popular kids in Garden, and he actually had a number of people who claimed him as something of a friend, but Seifer tended to insult people too often for anyone to put up with him for longer than necessary to enjoy Squall's company. Seeing Seifer on even somewhat friendly terms with someone outside their group was awesome, more so that it was one of Raijin's old friends.
"We were in the orphanage together," Zell explained to Raijin before he shot Squall a faintly amused look. "You always said we'd meet back up again."
"Some of us never left," Seifer informed the younger blond.
"Some of us also never grew up," Squall added, rolling his eyes. "Honestly, Seifer."
Zell sighed. "So everyone else got adopted except you two?"
"There's a few older kids from the orphanage in Garden," Squall replied, "but, yes, of us six, Seifer and I were the only ones who never got adopted."
Zell's expression fell. "I'm sorry." He shuffled his feet a bit, then offered, "You can always come by my house, though. My mom's the best cook in all Balamb!"
"Ma Dincht really is," Raijin agreed. "All the kids go by her place for lunch, ya know! We could eat there before going back to Garden." He looked hopefully towards Seifer and Squall.
The two orphans traded looks, neither really certain how to feel about going by Zell's house. Finally, Squall said, "Why not?" and Seifer nodded.
The four started towards Zell's place, the youngest blond asking, "I don't suppose you know where the others ended up?"
"The guy who adopted Irvy was wearing a Galbadian uniform," Seifer offered.
"Colonel Gregory Kinneas," Squall supplied. At Seifer's surprised look, he added, "I looked it up after we got to Garden."
"How'd you know who to look for?" Seifer demanded. "He never gave his name. Least, not where I heard."
"He wore a little pin with G. Kinneas on it," Squall explained, shrugging.
Seifer grunted in understanding.
"How'd you even get into the Galbadian registry, though?" Raijin asked. "It's a million times locked and stuff, ya know?"
"I hacked it." Squall shrugged. "It only took me twenty minutes."
"You..." Raijin shook his head, half disbelieving, half amused. "Genius."
Seifer laughed and dropped an arm over Squall's shoulders, carefully situating himself around the gunblade at the younger boy's hips. "Sometimes, Squally, I love your evil genius."
Squall rolled his eyes. "Really, Galbadia's systems aren't that impressive."
Zell shook his head, not completely certain what they were going on about, and shoved open the door to his house. "Ma! I brought friends!"
Ma Dincht stepped from the kitchen with a fond smile, which widened when she recognised the guests. "Raijin, always good to have you by. And, hm..." She considered the other two boys for a moment, then nodded. "Squall and Seifer, right?"
Zell flushed when the two orphans shot him amused look. "I, uhm, might have explained who everyone in that photo was. Once or twice."
"Sure you did, Chicken-Head."
Squall snorted. "Play nice, or I'm taking your new toy back."
Seifer grimaced and touched the strap over his chest that Pistol hung from. "Sure thing, Dad."
Zell burst out laughing at that and led the way into the living room while Ma Dincht finished lunch.
-0-
Zell had only been at Garden for two weeks and he'd already heard more about Squall than he'd ever heard from the boy in the four years they'd lived together at the orphanage. Squall was considered a prodigy by pretty much everyone, and even the snobby rich kids spoke highly of him. Considering that both Seifer and Squall were at the top of their mastery-level classes, Zell thought there might be something to all those rumours.
He hadn't, actually, seen a lot of his pseudo brothers, other than the occasional rushed meal. Raijin said it had something to do with both of them being in the mastery-level, accelerated classes and Headmaster Cid speeding up their preparation for graduation. Zell thought it was a little ridiculous for an eight and nine year old to be preparing for the SeeD exam – another of the Headmaster's ideas; mercenary forces run out of Garden – but there wasn't much he could say about it.
Zell was rather surprised, therefore, when Seifer dropped heavily into the chair next to him in the cafeteria, sans tray, and dropped his head onto the tabletop. "Kill me now," he moaned.
"I told you to refuse the accelerated classes," Squall said, setting a tray in front of his roommate and taking the seat across the table. "Hey, Zell. Rai and Fuu in class?"
Zell nodded. "Yeah. Weaponry, I think. Is Seifer gonna be okay?"
"Eventually," Squall agreed pleasantly and Seifer moaned again. "How are you liking Garden?"
"It's okay. Different from what I expected, but okay," Zell decided. "What's up with these accelerated classes, anyway? Raijin wasn't particularly clear on them and the rumours are all over the place."
Squall sighed and shook his head. "Part of the reason Cid created Garden was to train SeeDs and help control any rising Sorceresses like Adel. Garden Master NORG is the one who funded Garden, but he's running out of finances, which means they need SeeDs sooner, rather than later, to help keep Garden running, especially with Trabia Garden being built and taking some of our resources. Cid wanted to keep the entrance age at fifteen, but he also wants the best of us in SeeD so we can start out with a good name. And, well, Seifer and I are among the best, even though we're not even ten."
"We're not allowed to take the exam until we're ten, anyway," Seifer muttered. "Next spring for me and the year after for Squally." He finally sat up and started in on his food. "I just wish it wasn't such a pain."
"It's a lot of work, but it's worth it," Squall replied, shrugging.
"So says the genius."
"I'm not a genius," Squall insisted. He didn't like it when people insisted his future knowledge was genius. Given, he hadn't told anyone about the memories... But, still. That was like lying, and while he was mostly okay with lying to their classmates, he wasn't comfortable with the posse and his small family from the orphanage thinking such about him.
"Squall, from what I've heard, you're a genius," Zell insisted. "I can't wait to see Quisty's face when she finds out."
Seifer burst out laughing and clapped a hand roughly on Zell's back. "Thanks for that, Chicken-Head. I needed the laugh."
"She's going to be so upset," Squall muttered, rubbing at his non-existent scar. "Just shoot me now."
"Maybe everyone'll start asking her for tutoring," Seifer suggested through the occasional chuckle. "More free time for Squally."
"Oh, har har." Squall rolled his eyes.
Zell pushed his vegetables around on his tray a bit, then asked, "Are you okay with that? Being mercenaries at ten?" He looked up at them uncertainly, because it wasn't something he could see for himself. Becoming a murderer for hire at fifteen was one thing, but at ten?
"With any luck, Cid will employ some discretion in picking missions for us," Squall commented drily. "If he doesn't, at least our ages will lend an air of innocence to us, making it easier for us to complete our mission."
Zell stared at Squall in disbelief. "What?" he whispered. 'Squall? Did you just... say it didn't matter?'
"One of the things we're learning in the advanced classes," Seifer offered carefully, "is how to compartmentalise things. So we can keep living like normal kids, no matter what we do on a mission. It's... not pretty, but the GFs help."
"But–"
"It's not the way I'd have chosen to live, if that's what you're asking," Seifer interrupted. "I didn't wake up one morning thinking, 'Hey! I want to kill a man when I'm ten', or anything, but this is where we ended up when everyone else had found their own families. This is the life we got handed, and I intend to see it through to the end." He stood and stalked away from the table with his tray, face a twisted array of disgust and silent pain.
Zell turned to Squall, eyes wide and a little horrified. "Squall?" he whispered.
"We were given the option to remain in the normal programme and graduate at fifteen, but we discussed it and decided to take the accelerated route," Squall said quietly. "It's not the best life, but we're both orphans and there are no parents to talk us out of this or support us through another seven or eight years of Garden. If we want a chance to make something of ourselves, this is it." He stood with his tray. "I'm not, officially, tutoring anyone right now, but if you need any help with your classes or just want to visit with us, Seifer and I are usually up pretty late, working on things for class."
Zell turned back to his tray as Squall moved away, his eyes burning with the need to cry. It wasn't fair that the moment he got part of his family back, they had to leave him. He liked Garden fine, but he sort of wished it had never come to be. Maybe, then, they could all still be playing down at the beach, laughing and setting off fireworks. He wanted that life back.
-0-
"Squall, I'm tired," Seifer complained as he followed the brunet down the halls of Garden towards the Training Centre. They hadn't gone to bed until particularly late that night because one of their instructors had a mean streak, but Squall had a schedule for weekend training, and he wasn't about to let a late night keep him in bed. Seifer knew that, but complaining made him feel better.
"The exam is in two weeks," Squall replied evenly, not showing even the faintest hint of being sleepy.
"I hate you," Seifer informed him. "I don't care about the exam, I care about sleep. I know sleep is a foreign concept to you–"
Squall snorted in amusement. "I know what sleep is."
"Could have fooled me."
"Do you know what 'exam in two weeks' means?"
"I'll make it fine," Seifer muttered. "But if I'm exhausted during it, I might well fail. So, again, do you know what 'sleep' means?"
"I promise I'll let you sleep in before the exam," Squall said, rolling his eyes. "Hyne forbid you don't look your best while going out to kill things."
"They deserve to have the last thing they see be a well-dressed and well-rested ten-year-old, not some scraggly brat in his pyjamas."
Squall snorted and shook his head. "You've been in a better mood since you got Ifrit. Even if you are still a nightmare to drag out of bed." He brought them to a halt, deciding they'd reached a good spot to spar in.
Seifer stretched a bit, grinning at the thought of his newest GF. "That's 'cause Ifrit is awesome. You should junction him." In the back of his mind, Ifrit gave a violent refusal.
Squall shuddered. "No."
Seifer laughed and pulled out Pistol. "Come on, Squally. Show me what you've got."
Squall drew Revolver in a motion that Seifer only caught because he'd been looking for it, then the younger boy was on him, obnoxiously fast in spite of the heavy blade he wielded. The first time Seifer had faced off against Squall's speed, he'd been completely thrown for a loop and almost lost his head, but he was mostly used to it, by now. He couldn't keep up with Squall, and he wasn't always certain where the other gunblader was, but he could spot the flash of Revolver before it was too late and bring Pistol around or duck before Squall could land a hit.
Seifer thought it was a little unfair, sometimes, that Squall was the younger of the two of them, because he was so ready to be a SeeD. He was everything a SeeD was supposed to be and he'd been ready since they got to Garden to take on the mantle, even if neither of them had known what that mantle was at the time. Instead, Seifer would be making SeeD in a couple months and leaving Squall behind to sit through classes and train alone. A part of him almost wanted to screw up during the exam, just so Squall wasn't alone for a year, but his pride wouldn't let him purposefully lose this chance.
Seifer was just distracted enough by his thoughts that he didn't see the flash of sliver until it was in his face and the only thing he could do was try to duck it. The touch of steel still bit into his flesh and he gasped quietly at the pain, bringing a hand up to cover it. "Ow! Fucking hell, Squall!"
Squall didn't answer, touching a gentle finger against a mirrored cut on his own face that Seifer's flailing blade had dealt him when he'd jumped back, surprised at what he'd done. It took a moment for the reality to sink in and then Squall was fighting the urge to laugh. 'Oh, the irony. And, this time, I'm the one who started it. Pity Quisty isn't here to yell at me for scarring my training partner.'
"Squall? You okay?" Seifer asked, finally realising that there was a reason Squall wasn't worrying over him more.
Squall nodded and wiped the edge of Revolver against his pants to clean off the specks of blood before sheathing it. "We should go see Kadowaki before she hunts us down and straps us to beds."
Seifer winced at the thought, then had to fight another wince at the pain that motion caused. "Ugh, good point." He wiped Pistol off and slipped it over his back before following Squall from the Training Centre, dabbing at his cut with the collar of his t-shirt.
Squall glanced over at him, ignoring his own new wound. "Sorry, by the way. I didn't mean to do that."
Seifer shook his head. "I was distracted, so it was my fault too. You sure you're okay? I don't even remember catching you."
"It's nothing a potion won't fix," he promised. "What had you so distracted that you couldn't duck, anyway? The only time I've got that close to you in the past was the first time."
Seifer shrugged. "The exam."
"Are you worried about it?" Squall asked, realising he hadn't actually asked that. Sure, the topic of the exam had been all that most of Garden could talk about for months, but Squall hadn't actually turned to Seifer and asked if he was worried about his first mission, exam or not.
Seifer considered that for a moment, then admitted, "A little. I mean, it's sort of a big deal, and everyone's expecting we'll do really well, but..." He frowned a bit, biting back another wince at the cut pulled.
"But?" Squall repeated when Seifer was quiet for too long.
"This is going to sound ridiculously childish," Seifer warned him.
Squall snorted. "Seifer, you're ten. What is it?"
Seifer bit back another wince at that point; sometimes, especially with Squall as a best friend and most of his classes being with older teens, he felt much older than ten. "I don't... like the idea of going on this mission without you. Or leaving you alone for a year, retaking the same stupid classes."
Squall frowned at that, but they were already at the infirmary and Kadowaki had caught sight of them, giving him no chance to answer.
"What is this? What have you two done now?" She grabbed a chin in each hand and scowled at their wounds. "Giving children blades. Honestly. Fine, both of you go sit on the bed. Go, go."
Seifer and Squall moved together to hop up onto the bed she'd pointed at, sitting still as she cleaned and healed their cuts.
"It's going to scar," Kadowaki warned them. "Healing this close to your eyes is tricky, so you'll have to make do with a simple potion." She stepped back and considered her handiwork with a pleased look. "Good. No more training today."
"But the exam is in two weeks!" Seifer complained.
"You should have thought about that before you hit each other," Kadowaki said with no sympathy. "Go read a book. Or spend time with your friends." She turned and started back towards her desk. "You're both free to go."
"This sucks," Seifer muttered once the door of the infirmary had closed behind them.
"You could go back to bed, now," Squall offered, mind turning back to Seifer's earlier confession.
"But I'm awake, now."
"I won't be alone," Squall announced, glancing over at Seifer. "Rai and Fuu and Zell are here. And you'll be around between missions."
Seifer frowned, trying to connect the non sequitur in his mind. "Wha– Oh. Well, yeah, I suppose." He shrugged. "It just won't be the same, that's all."
"We probably wouldn't end up on a lot of the same missions, anyway," Squall pointed out with all the wisdom of the SeeD Commander in his memories. "They'd want to split their resources, keep their only two gunbladers separate. I mean, sure, we've got different strengths, but especially with our ages, they'll probably keep us apart."
Seifer sighed. "I suppose. I told you it was childish."
Squall shook his head and quietly admitted, "I'll miss you, too."
Seifer smiled at him.
-0-
Seifer wasn't sure how he felt as he left the Headmaster's office. On one hand, he'd fucked up and a team member had almost been killed because he'd refused to listen to orders. On the other hand, he had another year to spend with Squall and Fujin and Raijin. And Chicken-Head.
But, still... he'd failed, and that stung.
A large group was waiting around the lift on the first floor and Seifer let the others go first, all but Seifer and one other having made SeeD. The other student and Seifer walked out together, looking away from the celebrations going on around the stairs.
"Seifer!" Raijin shouted.
Seifer steeled himself against the pity he knew he'd find – or the mocking smile of Zell, knowing the Chicken-Head – but the first person he really saw was Squall, expression calm and without judgement. He'd already known the outcome before Seifer had stepped from the lift, and he didn't judge or pity him, he just... was.
"You'll get it next year," Zell said with certainty, and Seifer finally looked over the other three and found that same lack of pity that he'd seen in Squall's expression. They all looked determined, almost, like they would push him during the coming year until he could graduate next year as a SeeD.
"Yeah," he whispered against the block in his throat.
"LUNCH!" Fujin insisted.
"We've been waitin' for your return to eat, ya know?" Raijin agreed. "Squall talked the lunch ladies into packin' us a big lunch to eat in your room, ya know? In case you didn't wanna eat in the cafeteria."
Seifer nodded, grateful for Squall's forethought, and they pushed through the celebratory crowd at the top of the stairs, Seifer ignoring the mocking calls of their fellow cadets and new SeeDs alike. An icy look from Squall went a long way to shutting the lot of them up, and Seifer couldn't help but wonder what good he'd done in a past life to gain such an amazing friend. That wasn't to say that Fujin and Raijin weren't awesome in their own rights, but Squall had the icily friendly aura down to an art and no one dared cross him. Plus, he was a fucking genius, and always seemed to be one step ahead of everyone else, expecting the unexpected without even seeming to try.
The spread was pretty impressive, with a little of everyone's favourites, and they all sat together on the floor of Squall and Seifer's room to eat. Things were a little awkward at first, but then Zell started the time-honoured bitching about his least favourite instructor and Raijin immediately joined in. After a good ten minutes of trying to be down, Seifer gave in and started in on his least favourite instructor and it sort of devolved from there into a contest to see who could come up with the worst nicknames for their instructors.
Two hours or so later, the others had left to finish the last of their end-of-year exams, leaving the two advanced students to clean up the mess and relax a bit.
"Cid said," Seifer started after a good fifteen minutes of uneasy silence, "that maybe ten is too young for SeeD."
Squall shrugged. "It is," he offered. When Seifer shot him a wounded look, he hurried to add, "I'm not saying you should stop trying, Seifer, just that ten is a bit young to formally join a mercenary force. I was as surprised as everyone else that Cid even suggested allowing us to train, given our ages. But..." He shrugged. "If anyone can manage, it's us. I think so, at least."
"...I don't like following orders," Seifer admitted. "Nguyen told us when we were dropped off that we needed to stay with our squads in our designated areas, but there were a couple monsters sneaking through a back street and I saw them. I had to go stop them and–"
"You left your squad behind," Squall finished for him. "They expected you to be there when another attack came, and you weren't."
Seifer looked away. "Maret almost died. She'd been expecting me to cover her back and I wasn't there. If Akers hadn't come to her rescue..."
Squall shook his head. "In an exam situation, follow your orders first," he suggested with a firm tone, "because that's what you're being graded on. In the real world, you might have to change things a bit as the situation changes, but even then, you have to remember the order of importance."
"Squad, client, civilians, military," Seifer recited, sick of the list they'd had beat into their minds over the past year. "I know that. But what if–?"
"Squad, client, civilians, military," Squall repeated, a cold spark of chastisement in his eyes. "It doesn't matter if there's a small child being mauled down the street, you ensure the safety of your squad and client before you rescue that child."
"I don't know that I could just stand back and watch a child die," Seifer hissed, chilled at Squall's heartless statement. He knew this was the life they'd chosen, but to say it so bluntly?
Squall's expression softened. "No, we're humans, not machines," he agreed. "If you absolutely must leave your squad, let them know. That way, they'll know not to expect you to back them up, and they can watch your back while you're rescuing the kid. You didn't tell anyone you were going after those monsters, did you?"
"No," Seifer admitted, wincing at his own oversight. He knew better, which was part of why it stung so badly. "I didn't think there was time."
"There's always time," Squall told him. "If it was Rai and Fuu and me in your squad instead of those pricks, would you have left without a word?"
"No," Seifer said with certainty. "But you or Fuu would notice before I could get far, anyway."
Squall rolled his eyes, but allowed that it was true; Fujin had impressive spatial awareness, and Squall had honed his own knowledge of his surroundings so that he always knew where his team members were, but most squads wouldn't have people like that. "Assuming Fuu and I were suddenly blind and dumb, then, you wouldn't run off without leaving some indication that you were off to cause trouble, correct?"
"I think I'd be more worried about the blind and dum–"
"Seifer, humour me," Squall requested, rubbing his finger along his scar.
Seifer opened his mouth to answer, only to pause in recognition. He hadn't seen Squall make that particular motion since their training accident, and it was only now that he realised the significance of the gesture. "That... You've done that, before," he said, pointing to Squall's hand.
Squall froze and, very slowly, lowered his hand to give Seifer a blank look. "If you say so," he replied blandly.
Seifer shook his head. "You've done it for years, though. Always that same path. Just like that scar."
Squall touched his scar, thoughts flashing behind eyes turned grey by his hidden emotions. "When I was four," he allowed, "I saw the ghost of a man who had a scar just like mine. The image stayed with me."
"You never said anything about it!"
Squall's lips twitched with a suppressed smile. "I told Irvy and Selph and Quisty. Quisty told me to stop making things up, but Selph and Irvy thought it was awesome. Didn't tell you because you were being a jerk about Sis leaving, and I was afraid Zell would start crying if I told him." He shook the memory of his childhood away and pinned Seifer with a sharp gaze. "Hypothetical situation: Rai, Fuu, you, and I are all in the same squad. You see something you want to attend to away from us – a mauled child, perhaps – but neither Fuu or I will notice if you leave. What do you do?"
Seifer sighed and obediently left all thoughts about Squall's claim of a ghost behind. "Hypothetically?" he asked and Squall nodded. Seifer considered that for a moment, seeing the situation in his mind and considering all the possibilities, even though he already knew the answer. "I'd get the attention of whichever of you was closest and point towards the kid. Then go to help."
Squall nodded again. "Good. From now on, imagine your team members are the three of us – or however many of us are there – and keep in mind that we won't notice you leaving. You wouldn't leave us without warning, not even to save some kid, so maybe you won't leave your squad without warning if you think of them like they're us." He met Seifer's thoughtful gaze. "Does that help?"
Seifer nodded. "Maybe. I'll try to keep that in mind."
"Hm." Squall leaned back in his chair, resting on the two back legs. "I suppose that's all I can hope for right now. Maybe we'll luck out next year and we'll be in the same squad. That should drive the point home."
Seifer grinned at that. "Don't lose your balance," he teased. "It's a long way to the floor."
"You would know," Squall shot back, eyes lighting with pleasure at the friendly reminder of their past.
Seifer chuckled. "I haven't fallen out of a chair since we were kids."
"We're still kids."
Seifer's smile darkened. "Doesn't feel like it, sometimes."
Squall shrugged. "No," he agreed, "it doesn't. But we're still kids in the eyes of the world. Scary kids with the training and will to murder on order, but still children." He shrugged. "Will you be okay?"
Seifer took a moment to consider that, then nodded. "Yeah. I don't like that I screwed up, but I'm glad I'll be around for another year. Is that okay?"
Squall offered him the faintest of smiles. "Yeah."
"Then I'll be just fine."
-0-0-0-
-0-0-0-
A/N: They grow up so fast! *sniffles*
Yeah, the whole make Squally and Seifer SeeD at ten was sort of a surprise to me, too. But there's only so much I can write about during the intervening years. I'm glad I got the scars in there, though. Even if they are completely out of time. ^.^"
I should stop making promises about what's coming in future chapters. Merlin.
Quisty will definitely be next chapter. The DC, too, I think. I like the DC, and it'll give Squall and Seifer something to do for a year.
~Bats ^.^x
Chapters:
1 - Touch of Memory ||| 2 - No One Here to Save
3 - Burn Up the Tracks
4 - Orphans and Widows ||| 5 - Close the Last Window ||| 6 - Melodies of Life
7 - Lie Under the Night ||| 8 - Not Invincible ||| 9 - Don't Want the World
10 - Dance With the Enemy ||| 11 - Everything I Have in This World ||| 12 - Running Out of Days
13 - Wake Up and Fight ||| 14 - Crimson Sky ||| 15 - Heroes Waiting
16 - Light in My Eyes ||| 17 - Lying Next to a Ghost ||| 18 - Living For Today
19 - Some Things Are That Simple
..
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Author: Batsutousai/
batsutousaiBeta: Shara Lunison/
tsuki_no_suzu & Shivani/grazhirChapters: 3 of 19
Rating: T
Pairings: Seifer/Squall, Irvine/Selphie, Zell/Xu, Quistis/OMC, Fujin/Raijin
Warnings: AU, major canon-buggery, OoC Squall
Summary: No one thought to warn Squall against touching his younger self, and he leaves a part of himself behind when he returns to Time Compression.
A/N: This chapter gave me something of a surprise twist. Remember what I said in chapter one about self-writing characters? Yeah. That.
I blame Cid.
LJ-only edit: Because of the Russian elections and the subsequent DDoS attacks this weekend, I decided to wait until today to post this chapter and the next with chapter five. So you get three updates today.
Not that anyone on LJ is reading this, I think. Or, if you are, you're not letting me know about it. Meanies. *sticks tongue out*
Burn Up the Tracks
-0-0-0-
"I don't know why I have to come with," Seifer muttered as Raijin led the way through Balamb to the weapons shop. Another year had gone by and the spring holidays had come again. This time, Squall and he were considered old enough to leave the Garden and go into town, so long as they only visited Balamb. Since Raijin was from Balamb, taking him made sense, but Squall had then proceeded to drag Seifer along as well, paying no heed to his refusals.
"Because I said so," Squall replied. "Now stop whining."
"No."
Squall sighed and rubbed tiredly at his non-existent scar, a bad habit he'd developed since his return to Garden. No one thought to question the odd motion, although Seifer had shot him more than one curious look when the blond caught him at it.
"Here," Raijin interrupted their silence, stopping in front of the shop.
"Thanks, Rai," Squall said, grabbing Seifer's arm and dragging the other boy in after him. "We shouldn't be long!"
Raijin waved them off and wandered into the convenience shop next door for something to snack on while he waited.
In the weapons shop, Squall and Seifer were met by a grinning man. "You boys look a little young to be in here."
"We're from Garden," Squall replied in the sharp voice he used for idiots. Hearing it directed at an adult made Seifer smile even as said adult frowned a bit. "We're looking for gunblades."
"Now, that's a mighty difficult weapon for–"
"Revolver-style for me, pistol-style for him," Squall added, refusing to take no for an answer.
"Huh? For me?" Seifer asked, looking startled. "But I can't use the gunblade." He'd tested one of the Garden gunblades the month before and been quite upset to realise he couldn't get the hang of it. It was too heavy to use one-handed, and the grip was too small for him to wield it comfortably two-handed.
"You can't use the revolver-style," Squall corrected as the shopkeep hunted down his minor stock of gunblades, muttering to himself about pushy brats. "The pistol-style gunblades tend to be a bit lighter, so you can stick with that ridiculous one-handed fighting style you enjoy so much."
"There's nothing wrong with having a free hand!"
"Here you are, boys," the shopkeep said, holding out the two simplest gunblades he had in the styles the brunet had specified. He really hated rich kids and their insistence that they get exactly what they wanted, though he had to admit that the one boy clearly knew at least something about gunblades.
Squall motioned for Seifer to give Pistol – a much lighter and simpler version of the Hyperion Squall remembered – a try. Seifer took it with an uncertain look and took a moment to figure out the grip, then he turned to the side, ensuring he had some space, and swung it. He blinked in surprise at how light it was. "Huh. Not bad."
Squall smirked and accepted Revolver. He gripped the familiar weapon and absently pretended to parry a blow while also looking it over with a sharp eye. He trusted this shop to keep only good weapons in stock, but he knew better than to completely trust that, especially with a weapon as unusual as a gunblade. Certain that the blade and built-in gun were in good order, he turned to where Seifer was enjoying his newest toy. "Let me see that, you idiot."
Seifer grinned and handed the weapon over so Squall could check it. "That is an awesome gunblade. You never told me there were different styles."
"Watching you mope was more fun," Squall replied drily, nodding that the weapon was fine. "We'll take them."
Seifer's expression fell a bit at that. "Squally, I don't have the money–"
"I've got enough for a couple dozen gunblades, with all the tutoring I've been doing," Squall interrupted. "You'll just have to pay me back by being my training partner." He shot Seifer an evil little smile.
Seifer sighed and shook his head, giving in, as the shopkeep said, "Two hundred gil."
Squall pulled out the required money and passed it over, then accepted the sheaths the man handed over for the gunblades. Revolver was slipped into place on the extra belt he wore and rested almost naturally against his behind. Seifer had a bit more trouble figuring out where Pistol would go, uncomfortable with the long blade sticking out behind him. He finally settled on swinging it over one shoulder and across his back, where it rested comfortably above his knees.
Weapons in place, the two cadets left to hunt down Raijin, who they found outside, talking to a bouncing boy with blond hair spiked in a ridiculous hair-style.
"Oiy, Rai!" Seifer called, grinning a bit madly at his friend.
Raijin and the boy he was talking to both turned and Squall took a moment to enjoy seeing Zell's eyes widen with recognition, then he offered, "Hi, Zell."
"Squall! Seifer!" Zell grinned and bounced a bit more. "What're you two doing in Balamb?"
"We're at Garden," Seifer offered as he and Squall joined the other two out of the flow of foot traffic. He reached out and mussed Zell's hair, asking, "Why is there a chocobo's behind on your head?"
"Wha–!" Zell swatted at Seifer's hands, making the older blond laugh. "Why are you always such an ass?"
"Oooh... Zell said a bad word!"
Squall sighed and smacked the back of Seifer's head. "How are you, Zell?" he asked lightly as Seifer made a pitiful face and rubbed at his head.
Zell grinned at the brunet. "I'm okay. I got accepted to Garden myself, this year! Raijin got in and all, right? So I figured I'd give it a shot. There's a whole bunch of us that got accepted."
"I didn't know you guys knew each other, ya know?" Raijin added, smiling a bit to himself at seeing his friends getting along. Well, as much as Seifer ever got on with anyone not in the 'posse' – Squall's term for them. For all that Squall was really quiet and tended to exude a sort of unapproachable air, his time tutoring kids had made him one of the most popular kids in Garden, and he actually had a number of people who claimed him as something of a friend, but Seifer tended to insult people too often for anyone to put up with him for longer than necessary to enjoy Squall's company. Seeing Seifer on even somewhat friendly terms with someone outside their group was awesome, more so that it was one of Raijin's old friends.
"We were in the orphanage together," Zell explained to Raijin before he shot Squall a faintly amused look. "You always said we'd meet back up again."
"Some of us never left," Seifer informed the younger blond.
"Some of us also never grew up," Squall added, rolling his eyes. "Honestly, Seifer."
Zell sighed. "So everyone else got adopted except you two?"
"There's a few older kids from the orphanage in Garden," Squall replied, "but, yes, of us six, Seifer and I were the only ones who never got adopted."
Zell's expression fell. "I'm sorry." He shuffled his feet a bit, then offered, "You can always come by my house, though. My mom's the best cook in all Balamb!"
"Ma Dincht really is," Raijin agreed. "All the kids go by her place for lunch, ya know! We could eat there before going back to Garden." He looked hopefully towards Seifer and Squall.
The two orphans traded looks, neither really certain how to feel about going by Zell's house. Finally, Squall said, "Why not?" and Seifer nodded.
The four started towards Zell's place, the youngest blond asking, "I don't suppose you know where the others ended up?"
"The guy who adopted Irvy was wearing a Galbadian uniform," Seifer offered.
"Colonel Gregory Kinneas," Squall supplied. At Seifer's surprised look, he added, "I looked it up after we got to Garden."
"How'd you know who to look for?" Seifer demanded. "He never gave his name. Least, not where I heard."
"He wore a little pin with G. Kinneas on it," Squall explained, shrugging.
Seifer grunted in understanding.
"How'd you even get into the Galbadian registry, though?" Raijin asked. "It's a million times locked and stuff, ya know?"
"I hacked it." Squall shrugged. "It only took me twenty minutes."
"You..." Raijin shook his head, half disbelieving, half amused. "Genius."
Seifer laughed and dropped an arm over Squall's shoulders, carefully situating himself around the gunblade at the younger boy's hips. "Sometimes, Squally, I love your evil genius."
Squall rolled his eyes. "Really, Galbadia's systems aren't that impressive."
Zell shook his head, not completely certain what they were going on about, and shoved open the door to his house. "Ma! I brought friends!"
Ma Dincht stepped from the kitchen with a fond smile, which widened when she recognised the guests. "Raijin, always good to have you by. And, hm..." She considered the other two boys for a moment, then nodded. "Squall and Seifer, right?"
Zell flushed when the two orphans shot him amused look. "I, uhm, might have explained who everyone in that photo was. Once or twice."
"Sure you did, Chicken-Head."
Squall snorted. "Play nice, or I'm taking your new toy back."
Seifer grimaced and touched the strap over his chest that Pistol hung from. "Sure thing, Dad."
Zell burst out laughing at that and led the way into the living room while Ma Dincht finished lunch.
Zell had only been at Garden for two weeks and he'd already heard more about Squall than he'd ever heard from the boy in the four years they'd lived together at the orphanage. Squall was considered a prodigy by pretty much everyone, and even the snobby rich kids spoke highly of him. Considering that both Seifer and Squall were at the top of their mastery-level classes, Zell thought there might be something to all those rumours.
He hadn't, actually, seen a lot of his pseudo brothers, other than the occasional rushed meal. Raijin said it had something to do with both of them being in the mastery-level, accelerated classes and Headmaster Cid speeding up their preparation for graduation. Zell thought it was a little ridiculous for an eight and nine year old to be preparing for the SeeD exam – another of the Headmaster's ideas; mercenary forces run out of Garden – but there wasn't much he could say about it.
Zell was rather surprised, therefore, when Seifer dropped heavily into the chair next to him in the cafeteria, sans tray, and dropped his head onto the tabletop. "Kill me now," he moaned.
"I told you to refuse the accelerated classes," Squall said, setting a tray in front of his roommate and taking the seat across the table. "Hey, Zell. Rai and Fuu in class?"
Zell nodded. "Yeah. Weaponry, I think. Is Seifer gonna be okay?"
"Eventually," Squall agreed pleasantly and Seifer moaned again. "How are you liking Garden?"
"It's okay. Different from what I expected, but okay," Zell decided. "What's up with these accelerated classes, anyway? Raijin wasn't particularly clear on them and the rumours are all over the place."
Squall sighed and shook his head. "Part of the reason Cid created Garden was to train SeeDs and help control any rising Sorceresses like Adel. Garden Master NORG is the one who funded Garden, but he's running out of finances, which means they need SeeDs sooner, rather than later, to help keep Garden running, especially with Trabia Garden being built and taking some of our resources. Cid wanted to keep the entrance age at fifteen, but he also wants the best of us in SeeD so we can start out with a good name. And, well, Seifer and I are among the best, even though we're not even ten."
"We're not allowed to take the exam until we're ten, anyway," Seifer muttered. "Next spring for me and the year after for Squally." He finally sat up and started in on his food. "I just wish it wasn't such a pain."
"It's a lot of work, but it's worth it," Squall replied, shrugging.
"So says the genius."
"I'm not a genius," Squall insisted. He didn't like it when people insisted his future knowledge was genius. Given, he hadn't told anyone about the memories... But, still. That was like lying, and while he was mostly okay with lying to their classmates, he wasn't comfortable with the posse and his small family from the orphanage thinking such about him.
"Squall, from what I've heard, you're a genius," Zell insisted. "I can't wait to see Quisty's face when she finds out."
Seifer burst out laughing and clapped a hand roughly on Zell's back. "Thanks for that, Chicken-Head. I needed the laugh."
"She's going to be so upset," Squall muttered, rubbing at his non-existent scar. "Just shoot me now."
"Maybe everyone'll start asking her for tutoring," Seifer suggested through the occasional chuckle. "More free time for Squally."
"Oh, har har." Squall rolled his eyes.
Zell pushed his vegetables around on his tray a bit, then asked, "Are you okay with that? Being mercenaries at ten?" He looked up at them uncertainly, because it wasn't something he could see for himself. Becoming a murderer for hire at fifteen was one thing, but at ten?
"With any luck, Cid will employ some discretion in picking missions for us," Squall commented drily. "If he doesn't, at least our ages will lend an air of innocence to us, making it easier for us to complete our mission."
Zell stared at Squall in disbelief. "What?" he whispered. 'Squall? Did you just... say it didn't matter?'
"One of the things we're learning in the advanced classes," Seifer offered carefully, "is how to compartmentalise things. So we can keep living like normal kids, no matter what we do on a mission. It's... not pretty, but the GFs help."
"But–"
"It's not the way I'd have chosen to live, if that's what you're asking," Seifer interrupted. "I didn't wake up one morning thinking, 'Hey! I want to kill a man when I'm ten', or anything, but this is where we ended up when everyone else had found their own families. This is the life we got handed, and I intend to see it through to the end." He stood and stalked away from the table with his tray, face a twisted array of disgust and silent pain.
Zell turned to Squall, eyes wide and a little horrified. "Squall?" he whispered.
"We were given the option to remain in the normal programme and graduate at fifteen, but we discussed it and decided to take the accelerated route," Squall said quietly. "It's not the best life, but we're both orphans and there are no parents to talk us out of this or support us through another seven or eight years of Garden. If we want a chance to make something of ourselves, this is it." He stood with his tray. "I'm not, officially, tutoring anyone right now, but if you need any help with your classes or just want to visit with us, Seifer and I are usually up pretty late, working on things for class."
Zell turned back to his tray as Squall moved away, his eyes burning with the need to cry. It wasn't fair that the moment he got part of his family back, they had to leave him. He liked Garden fine, but he sort of wished it had never come to be. Maybe, then, they could all still be playing down at the beach, laughing and setting off fireworks. He wanted that life back.
"Squall, I'm tired," Seifer complained as he followed the brunet down the halls of Garden towards the Training Centre. They hadn't gone to bed until particularly late that night because one of their instructors had a mean streak, but Squall had a schedule for weekend training, and he wasn't about to let a late night keep him in bed. Seifer knew that, but complaining made him feel better.
"The exam is in two weeks," Squall replied evenly, not showing even the faintest hint of being sleepy.
"I hate you," Seifer informed him. "I don't care about the exam, I care about sleep. I know sleep is a foreign concept to you–"
Squall snorted in amusement. "I know what sleep is."
"Could have fooled me."
"Do you know what 'exam in two weeks' means?"
"I'll make it fine," Seifer muttered. "But if I'm exhausted during it, I might well fail. So, again, do you know what 'sleep' means?"
"I promise I'll let you sleep in before the exam," Squall said, rolling his eyes. "Hyne forbid you don't look your best while going out to kill things."
"They deserve to have the last thing they see be a well-dressed and well-rested ten-year-old, not some scraggly brat in his pyjamas."
Squall snorted and shook his head. "You've been in a better mood since you got Ifrit. Even if you are still a nightmare to drag out of bed." He brought them to a halt, deciding they'd reached a good spot to spar in.
Seifer stretched a bit, grinning at the thought of his newest GF. "That's 'cause Ifrit is awesome. You should junction him." In the back of his mind, Ifrit gave a violent refusal.
Squall shuddered. "No."
Seifer laughed and pulled out Pistol. "Come on, Squally. Show me what you've got."
Squall drew Revolver in a motion that Seifer only caught because he'd been looking for it, then the younger boy was on him, obnoxiously fast in spite of the heavy blade he wielded. The first time Seifer had faced off against Squall's speed, he'd been completely thrown for a loop and almost lost his head, but he was mostly used to it, by now. He couldn't keep up with Squall, and he wasn't always certain where the other gunblader was, but he could spot the flash of Revolver before it was too late and bring Pistol around or duck before Squall could land a hit.
Seifer thought it was a little unfair, sometimes, that Squall was the younger of the two of them, because he was so ready to be a SeeD. He was everything a SeeD was supposed to be and he'd been ready since they got to Garden to take on the mantle, even if neither of them had known what that mantle was at the time. Instead, Seifer would be making SeeD in a couple months and leaving Squall behind to sit through classes and train alone. A part of him almost wanted to screw up during the exam, just so Squall wasn't alone for a year, but his pride wouldn't let him purposefully lose this chance.
Seifer was just distracted enough by his thoughts that he didn't see the flash of sliver until it was in his face and the only thing he could do was try to duck it. The touch of steel still bit into his flesh and he gasped quietly at the pain, bringing a hand up to cover it. "Ow! Fucking hell, Squall!"
Squall didn't answer, touching a gentle finger against a mirrored cut on his own face that Seifer's flailing blade had dealt him when he'd jumped back, surprised at what he'd done. It took a moment for the reality to sink in and then Squall was fighting the urge to laugh. 'Oh, the irony. And, this time, I'm the one who started it. Pity Quisty isn't here to yell at me for scarring my training partner.'
"Squall? You okay?" Seifer asked, finally realising that there was a reason Squall wasn't worrying over him more.
Squall nodded and wiped the edge of Revolver against his pants to clean off the specks of blood before sheathing it. "We should go see Kadowaki before she hunts us down and straps us to beds."
Seifer winced at the thought, then had to fight another wince at the pain that motion caused. "Ugh, good point." He wiped Pistol off and slipped it over his back before following Squall from the Training Centre, dabbing at his cut with the collar of his t-shirt.
Squall glanced over at him, ignoring his own new wound. "Sorry, by the way. I didn't mean to do that."
Seifer shook his head. "I was distracted, so it was my fault too. You sure you're okay? I don't even remember catching you."
"It's nothing a potion won't fix," he promised. "What had you so distracted that you couldn't duck, anyway? The only time I've got that close to you in the past was the first time."
Seifer shrugged. "The exam."
"Are you worried about it?" Squall asked, realising he hadn't actually asked that. Sure, the topic of the exam had been all that most of Garden could talk about for months, but Squall hadn't actually turned to Seifer and asked if he was worried about his first mission, exam or not.
Seifer considered that for a moment, then admitted, "A little. I mean, it's sort of a big deal, and everyone's expecting we'll do really well, but..." He frowned a bit, biting back another wince at the cut pulled.
"But?" Squall repeated when Seifer was quiet for too long.
"This is going to sound ridiculously childish," Seifer warned him.
Squall snorted. "Seifer, you're ten. What is it?"
Seifer bit back another wince at that point; sometimes, especially with Squall as a best friend and most of his classes being with older teens, he felt much older than ten. "I don't... like the idea of going on this mission without you. Or leaving you alone for a year, retaking the same stupid classes."
Squall frowned at that, but they were already at the infirmary and Kadowaki had caught sight of them, giving him no chance to answer.
"What is this? What have you two done now?" She grabbed a chin in each hand and scowled at their wounds. "Giving children blades. Honestly. Fine, both of you go sit on the bed. Go, go."
Seifer and Squall moved together to hop up onto the bed she'd pointed at, sitting still as she cleaned and healed their cuts.
"It's going to scar," Kadowaki warned them. "Healing this close to your eyes is tricky, so you'll have to make do with a simple potion." She stepped back and considered her handiwork with a pleased look. "Good. No more training today."
"But the exam is in two weeks!" Seifer complained.
"You should have thought about that before you hit each other," Kadowaki said with no sympathy. "Go read a book. Or spend time with your friends." She turned and started back towards her desk. "You're both free to go."
"This sucks," Seifer muttered once the door of the infirmary had closed behind them.
"You could go back to bed, now," Squall offered, mind turning back to Seifer's earlier confession.
"But I'm awake, now."
"I won't be alone," Squall announced, glancing over at Seifer. "Rai and Fuu and Zell are here. And you'll be around between missions."
Seifer frowned, trying to connect the non sequitur in his mind. "Wha– Oh. Well, yeah, I suppose." He shrugged. "It just won't be the same, that's all."
"We probably wouldn't end up on a lot of the same missions, anyway," Squall pointed out with all the wisdom of the SeeD Commander in his memories. "They'd want to split their resources, keep their only two gunbladers separate. I mean, sure, we've got different strengths, but especially with our ages, they'll probably keep us apart."
Seifer sighed. "I suppose. I told you it was childish."
Squall shook his head and quietly admitted, "I'll miss you, too."
Seifer smiled at him.
Seifer wasn't sure how he felt as he left the Headmaster's office. On one hand, he'd fucked up and a team member had almost been killed because he'd refused to listen to orders. On the other hand, he had another year to spend with Squall and Fujin and Raijin. And Chicken-Head.
But, still... he'd failed, and that stung.
A large group was waiting around the lift on the first floor and Seifer let the others go first, all but Seifer and one other having made SeeD. The other student and Seifer walked out together, looking away from the celebrations going on around the stairs.
"Seifer!" Raijin shouted.
Seifer steeled himself against the pity he knew he'd find – or the mocking smile of Zell, knowing the Chicken-Head – but the first person he really saw was Squall, expression calm and without judgement. He'd already known the outcome before Seifer had stepped from the lift, and he didn't judge or pity him, he just... was.
"You'll get it next year," Zell said with certainty, and Seifer finally looked over the other three and found that same lack of pity that he'd seen in Squall's expression. They all looked determined, almost, like they would push him during the coming year until he could graduate next year as a SeeD.
"Yeah," he whispered against the block in his throat.
"LUNCH!" Fujin insisted.
"We've been waitin' for your return to eat, ya know?" Raijin agreed. "Squall talked the lunch ladies into packin' us a big lunch to eat in your room, ya know? In case you didn't wanna eat in the cafeteria."
Seifer nodded, grateful for Squall's forethought, and they pushed through the celebratory crowd at the top of the stairs, Seifer ignoring the mocking calls of their fellow cadets and new SeeDs alike. An icy look from Squall went a long way to shutting the lot of them up, and Seifer couldn't help but wonder what good he'd done in a past life to gain such an amazing friend. That wasn't to say that Fujin and Raijin weren't awesome in their own rights, but Squall had the icily friendly aura down to an art and no one dared cross him. Plus, he was a fucking genius, and always seemed to be one step ahead of everyone else, expecting the unexpected without even seeming to try.
The spread was pretty impressive, with a little of everyone's favourites, and they all sat together on the floor of Squall and Seifer's room to eat. Things were a little awkward at first, but then Zell started the time-honoured bitching about his least favourite instructor and Raijin immediately joined in. After a good ten minutes of trying to be down, Seifer gave in and started in on his least favourite instructor and it sort of devolved from there into a contest to see who could come up with the worst nicknames for their instructors.
Two hours or so later, the others had left to finish the last of their end-of-year exams, leaving the two advanced students to clean up the mess and relax a bit.
"Cid said," Seifer started after a good fifteen minutes of uneasy silence, "that maybe ten is too young for SeeD."
Squall shrugged. "It is," he offered. When Seifer shot him a wounded look, he hurried to add, "I'm not saying you should stop trying, Seifer, just that ten is a bit young to formally join a mercenary force. I was as surprised as everyone else that Cid even suggested allowing us to train, given our ages. But..." He shrugged. "If anyone can manage, it's us. I think so, at least."
"...I don't like following orders," Seifer admitted. "Nguyen told us when we were dropped off that we needed to stay with our squads in our designated areas, but there were a couple monsters sneaking through a back street and I saw them. I had to go stop them and–"
"You left your squad behind," Squall finished for him. "They expected you to be there when another attack came, and you weren't."
Seifer looked away. "Maret almost died. She'd been expecting me to cover her back and I wasn't there. If Akers hadn't come to her rescue..."
Squall shook his head. "In an exam situation, follow your orders first," he suggested with a firm tone, "because that's what you're being graded on. In the real world, you might have to change things a bit as the situation changes, but even then, you have to remember the order of importance."
"Squad, client, civilians, military," Seifer recited, sick of the list they'd had beat into their minds over the past year. "I know that. But what if–?"
"Squad, client, civilians, military," Squall repeated, a cold spark of chastisement in his eyes. "It doesn't matter if there's a small child being mauled down the street, you ensure the safety of your squad and client before you rescue that child."
"I don't know that I could just stand back and watch a child die," Seifer hissed, chilled at Squall's heartless statement. He knew this was the life they'd chosen, but to say it so bluntly?
Squall's expression softened. "No, we're humans, not machines," he agreed. "If you absolutely must leave your squad, let them know. That way, they'll know not to expect you to back them up, and they can watch your back while you're rescuing the kid. You didn't tell anyone you were going after those monsters, did you?"
"No," Seifer admitted, wincing at his own oversight. He knew better, which was part of why it stung so badly. "I didn't think there was time."
"There's always time," Squall told him. "If it was Rai and Fuu and me in your squad instead of those pricks, would you have left without a word?"
"No," Seifer said with certainty. "But you or Fuu would notice before I could get far, anyway."
Squall rolled his eyes, but allowed that it was true; Fujin had impressive spatial awareness, and Squall had honed his own knowledge of his surroundings so that he always knew where his team members were, but most squads wouldn't have people like that. "Assuming Fuu and I were suddenly blind and dumb, then, you wouldn't run off without leaving some indication that you were off to cause trouble, correct?"
"I think I'd be more worried about the blind and dum–"
"Seifer, humour me," Squall requested, rubbing his finger along his scar.
Seifer opened his mouth to answer, only to pause in recognition. He hadn't seen Squall make that particular motion since their training accident, and it was only now that he realised the significance of the gesture. "That... You've done that, before," he said, pointing to Squall's hand.
Squall froze and, very slowly, lowered his hand to give Seifer a blank look. "If you say so," he replied blandly.
Seifer shook his head. "You've done it for years, though. Always that same path. Just like that scar."
Squall touched his scar, thoughts flashing behind eyes turned grey by his hidden emotions. "When I was four," he allowed, "I saw the ghost of a man who had a scar just like mine. The image stayed with me."
"You never said anything about it!"
Squall's lips twitched with a suppressed smile. "I told Irvy and Selph and Quisty. Quisty told me to stop making things up, but Selph and Irvy thought it was awesome. Didn't tell you because you were being a jerk about Sis leaving, and I was afraid Zell would start crying if I told him." He shook the memory of his childhood away and pinned Seifer with a sharp gaze. "Hypothetical situation: Rai, Fuu, you, and I are all in the same squad. You see something you want to attend to away from us – a mauled child, perhaps – but neither Fuu or I will notice if you leave. What do you do?"
Seifer sighed and obediently left all thoughts about Squall's claim of a ghost behind. "Hypothetically?" he asked and Squall nodded. Seifer considered that for a moment, seeing the situation in his mind and considering all the possibilities, even though he already knew the answer. "I'd get the attention of whichever of you was closest and point towards the kid. Then go to help."
Squall nodded again. "Good. From now on, imagine your team members are the three of us – or however many of us are there – and keep in mind that we won't notice you leaving. You wouldn't leave us without warning, not even to save some kid, so maybe you won't leave your squad without warning if you think of them like they're us." He met Seifer's thoughtful gaze. "Does that help?"
Seifer nodded. "Maybe. I'll try to keep that in mind."
"Hm." Squall leaned back in his chair, resting on the two back legs. "I suppose that's all I can hope for right now. Maybe we'll luck out next year and we'll be in the same squad. That should drive the point home."
Seifer grinned at that. "Don't lose your balance," he teased. "It's a long way to the floor."
"You would know," Squall shot back, eyes lighting with pleasure at the friendly reminder of their past.
Seifer chuckled. "I haven't fallen out of a chair since we were kids."
"We're still kids."
Seifer's smile darkened. "Doesn't feel like it, sometimes."
Squall shrugged. "No," he agreed, "it doesn't. But we're still kids in the eyes of the world. Scary kids with the training and will to murder on order, but still children." He shrugged. "Will you be okay?"
Seifer took a moment to consider that, then nodded. "Yeah. I don't like that I screwed up, but I'm glad I'll be around for another year. Is that okay?"
Squall offered him the faintest of smiles. "Yeah."
"Then I'll be just fine."
-0-0-0-
A/N: They grow up so fast! *sniffles*
Yeah, the whole make Squally and Seifer SeeD at ten was sort of a surprise to me, too. But there's only so much I can write about during the intervening years. I'm glad I got the scars in there, though. Even if they are completely out of time. ^.^"
I should stop making promises about what's coming in future chapters. Merlin.
Quisty will definitely be next chapter. The DC, too, I think. I like the DC, and it'll give Squall and Seifer something to do for a year.
~Bats ^.^x
1 - Touch of Memory ||| 2 - No One Here to Save
4 - Orphans and Widows ||| 5 - Close the Last Window ||| 6 - Melodies of Life
7 - Lie Under the Night ||| 8 - Not Invincible ||| 9 - Don't Want the World
10 - Dance With the Enemy ||| 11 - Everything I Have in This World ||| 12 - Running Out of Days
13 - Wake Up and Fight ||| 14 - Crimson Sky ||| 15 - Heroes Waiting
16 - Light in My Eyes ||| 17 - Lying Next to a Ghost ||| 18 - Living For Today
19 - Some Things Are That Simple
..
