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batsutousaiTitle: Noblesse Oblige
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Author: Batsutousai/![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
batsutousai
Beta: Shara Lunison/tsuki_no_suzu & Shivani/grazhir
Chapters: 18 of 19
Rating: T
Pairings: Seifer/Squall, Irvine/Selphie, Zell/Xu, Quistis/OMC, Fujin/Raijin
Warnings: AU, major canon-buggery, OoC Squall, slash/yaoi
Summary: No one thought to warn Squall against touching his younger self, and he leaves a part of himself behind when he returns to Time Compression.
A/N: This chapter got so completely and utterly away from me. I think it's because I was tired. Possibly had something to do with dinner. Dunno. At any rate, it's a little weird. Not sure how I feel about the whole thing.
-0-0-0-
Living For Today
-0-0-0-
When Laguna had decided to join the group of soldiers intent on lending a hand to SeeD, he'd had vague thoughts of offering his own services in assistance, no matter what Kiros said about the leader of a country not getting involved in the civil war of another country, even if they were lending soldiers to the cause. He'd thought that, surely, he could talk his son into letting him help out – he'd been a soldier himself, once upon a time – but the first time he'd mentioned assisting to Squall, the teen had pinned him with a blank stare and said, "No," before walking off and refusing to hear how Laguna could help. When he'd asked Seifer, thinking him more friendly, the blond had laughed in his face and told him to, "Sit down and enjoy your holiday, old man."
So Laguna spent his time walking around the village, talking to SeeDs and villagers alike. He managed to learn a fair bit about his son and Seifer – there were few stories that featured one without the other, he was discovering – and while far too much of it involved their various, bloody missions, he also heard about how unusually close they were, to each other and their group of friends. It took him a couple days, but he did eventually get an actual reason for Squall's destruction of an entire village: Seifer had almost died.
'I think anyone even thinking about going against one of the two of them is going to end up very dead,' Laguna decided as he walked away from that particular conversation.
Laguna discovered that the Commanders were also much loved by their people, in spite of everyone's insistence that SeeD was cut-throat and being the 'best' meant always watching your back. While Seifer often irritated people with his self-satisfied smirks and sharp tongue, and Squall's aloof personality caused plenty to complain behind their backs, every single SeeD Laguna talked to agreed that the two teens were the absolute best, and they'd follow no one else. There was none of that grumbled hostility that Laguna was familiar with from the normal army, about their leaders being full of themselves, but, then, Squall and Seifer were hardly the sort to sit back and leave the dirty work to their subordinates.
Laguna quickly learned that having one of the two Commanders in the inn, as Seifer had been when they'd arrived, was an anomaly of epic proportions. Squall and Seifer preferred being out on the field, handling things personally, even if it was something stupid, like fixing a broken bridge or rescuing a child from a well. While that was great for morale – among the SeeDs and villagers alike – it meant that Laguna didn't see much of his son, often just missing him in the mornings – Squall was an earlier riser than even Laguna, who'd always driven his friends nuts with his tendency to be up at first light – or getting back from a stroll around the village after Squall had already turned in for the night. He saw more of Seifer, who woke late and spent many an evening after Squall had retired reading reports downstairs, an ear cocked for any trouble he might need to see to.
One rare morning, almost a week since his arrival, Laguna managed to get downstairs before something exploded and found his son seated at one of the tables, the leftovers of his breakfast pushed to one side while he read through a report. Laguna debated between distracting Squall and leaving him to his papers for a moment before deciding spending time with his son was more important than letting him do his work – Laguna was quite firm in the belief that spending time with family and friends was more important than paperwork. "Good morning, Squall," he said as he settled in across from the teen.
Squall blinked up at him, clearly surprised, but then his eyes seemed to smile – at least, Laguna hoped it was a smile – and he set down his pen. "Good morning, Laguna. You're up early."
"No, you're just here late," Laguna corrected, because he wasn't up any earlier than usual.
Squall looked startled at that and glanced around the room, taking in the other SeeDs who were enjoying breakfast and the clock on the wall. "Huh. Maybe Seifer did put something in the drinking water, after all."
Laguna snorted and covered a smile, having heard about Seifer's threat to put some sort of sleeping agent in the water for the neighbouring villages so they'd all fuck off for a couple days. "Maybe things are just finally calming down?" he suggested."
"Wouldn't that be nice," Squall replied drily, shaking his head.
Seth appeared, then, setting down some food in front of Laguna and waving a pot at Squall. "More tea?"
Squall held up his cup in response. "Thanks, Seth."
The owner smiled and refilled the cup as he said, "I don't suppose you've gone by Raine's grave," to Laguna.
The president blinked. "Oh. Erm, no. I haven't." In truth, he'd sort of wanted to go with Squall, but the teen was always so busy... And...maybe he was just a little afraid to go by himself; he'd been avoiding Raine's pub, too, as if going inside would be the final nail on a coffin long buried.
Squall frowned a bit. "Why not?" he asked, honestly confused. It wasn't like Laguna had a lot of strain on his time or anything, right? From what Squall had heard, his father mostly wandered the village and asked about himself and Seifer. (Squall had ended up telling everyone that Laguna was his father just because he got tired of SeeDs asking why the Estharian President would be interested in his personal life. He'd intended to keep it between his friends, if only for Laguna's safety, but that had clearly been a pipe dream. If nothing else, the relation should stay within SeeD and the village, however, so he wouldn't have to worry about one of his many enemies thinking going after the president would be a good idea. If Laguna was the sort to surround himself with guards, Squall wouldn't have been as worried about it, but his father liked his freedom, preferring only Kiros or Ward at his back, and that was not enough protection. Not as far as Squall was concerned.)
Laguna flushed and poked at his breakfast. "Oh, uhm... Well, I..." He let out a nervous laugh and chanced a glance up at Squall's blank look. "I was...hoping we could...go together?" he admitted, looking away again.
Squall blinked. 'Go together? Huh.' He shrugged. "Sure."
Laguna's head jerked up and he stared at his son. "Huh? R-really?"
Squall shrugged again. "Yeah. I haven't had the chance to go yet, either." He always made a point to visit Raine's grave when he was in the area. Never with Seifer, but his lover had insisted that it was Squall's time, and he didn't want to be in the way, no matter how many times Squall assured him it was fine if he came along.
Laguna's expression softened at that, unable to help the way his heart jumped into his throat at Squall's reply. "You, uhm, you often visit her grave?"
Squall nodded. "When I'm down here, sure. Seifer and I have been in and out of Southern Galbadia for the past two years, dealing with the rebellion, and I usually try stopping by. It's..." He frowned a bit, not sure how to explain his need to visit with his birth mother's grave.
Laguna nodded, understanding what Squall couldn't quite manage to voice. "When do you want to go?" he asked.
Squall's frown deepened as he thought about it. He really was quite busy, but he didn't need to be constantly out of the village; more than a few SeeDs had mentioned that he should put aside some time for his father. But, still. His job was important.
The chair next to him scraped across the floor and Seifer dropped into it, tiredly sweeping some of the papers out of the way. "Morn– Oh, crap. Please don't tell me someone tried talking emotions with you again," he complained, catching sight of Squall's frown.
Squall rolled his eyes. "Trying to decide when to visit Raine's grave," he informed his lover while Laguna snorted at Seifer's words; it was no secret that Squall closed off whenever anyone started asking him how he felt, after all.
Laguna winced a bit at hearing Squall refer to his mother by her given name, but he already knew that his son had trouble with admitting familial attachment. Still, if Squall had managed to call anyone 'Mom' or 'Dad', he'd hoped it would have been Raine.
Seifer flashed Seth a smile as the owner placed his breakfast in front of him, then turned back to Squall. "Go now," he suggested. "I can keep an eye on things while you're gone."
Squall frowned again. "But what if–?"
"Squally," Seifer interrupted with the air of someone who'd expected that response, "I know they're a bunch of idiots, but you really can leave them alone for a couple hours without worrying that someone's going to blow themselves up. If something happens that only you can handle, I know where you are. Go visit your mom. Maybe spend a couple hours with Laguna."
Squall sighed and gave his partner a tired look. "You're sure?"
Seifer rolled his eyes. "It's this, or I knock you out for a few hours. Your choice."
"You're getting less sleep than me," Squall pointed out.
"Yes, but unlike some perfectionists I know, I take breaks."
"I'm not a per–"
"Yes. You are," Seifer cut in, giving Squall a sharp look.
Squall's mouth snapped shut and he seemed to be pouting, though his expression and posture remained perfectly neutral.
Seifer reached over and picked up one of the papers he'd swept out of the way when he sat. "Huh," he said after a quick glance over.
"Huh?" Laguna repeated, trying to hide a smile at their interactions. It really was a pity he saw so little of his son.
Seifer glanced at him briefly before shrugging and saying, "We'll be having some guests you might like to meet in a couple days."
Squall sighed. "I told her no. Twice."
Seifer flashed him a knowing smile. "At least she agreed to wait until October was cleared to travel?" he replied.
"Who are these guests?" Laguna wondered, looking between the two teens. He knew October was one of their friends, and vaguely remembered hearing that he'd been on medical leave, but other than that he had no idea.
"Chris and Greg," Squall replied tightly. "It was mentioned, in passing, that you were down here, and Chris has been wanting to meet you since I mentioned you were still alive last year."
Laguna let out a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his head. "Uh-oh. Should I run for it while I still have the chance?"
"Yes," Seifer told him, perfectly serious, only to get smacked by Squall. He flashed his lover a grin before looking back at Laguna. "Nah, you should be fine."
The hotel shook with a distant explosion and a few SeeDs groaned. Squall was half out of his seat before Seifer grabbed his bicep in a grip that looked like it hurt. The two glared at each other for a long moment before the brunet grunted and dropped back into his seat.
Seifer nodded and called, "A-Team, you're on your own today."
The SeeDs who made up A-Team flashed their leaders understanding looks as they gathered their things and made for the door.
Seifer turned to Laguna. "You might want to drag Squally out before something else explodes."
"Shut up, Seifer," Squall muttered.
Laguna was mostly done with his breakfast, though, and he took a chance to finish the last of his juice before standing. "If you're ready?" he offered his son, though he knew Squall was ready to head out, since he'd been ready to take on that explosion.
Squall sighed and rose to his feet. "Yes. We can stop by the flower shop on the way."
Laguna smiled and nodded. "White flowers, right?"
Squall's eyes brightened ever so slightly. "Yes," he agreed, leading the way outside.
The trip to the graveyard was made in silence, broken only briefly during their stop at the flower shop to pick out the perfect bouquet of white flowers. When they reached the huddle of graves, Squall led the way to Raine's grave with an ease that spoke of how many times he'd been there.
Squall laid the flowers down and stepped back, expression blank as he looked down at the headstone. Next to him, Laguna swallowed against the urge to cry at this sign of her passing. This was all the proof he'd ever needed to know she was gone, and it hurt. Hurt far more than Ellone's letter, telling him that Raine had been gone for years, leaving behind a son that he'd never even known he had.
"I...I'm sorry," he said, uncertain who he was apologising to. "I wish I hadn't left. I–"
"I don't," Squall interrupted, voice quiet.
Laguna turned to stare at the teen. "You don't what?" he asked, uncertain if he'd heard him right. Squall couldn't possibly be saying–
"I don't wish you'd stayed," Squall replied.
'I guess he was.'
The young man glanced at Laguna's wounded expression and sighed. "If you hadn't left, who knows what would have happened to Sis or with Adel. Maybe you would have been there to take care of me, but what about Sis? And would it have even mattered, in the long run? I mean, Adel easily could have destroyed the whole world, and then it wouldn't have mattered that you stayed, would it? We'd all be dead."
Laguna looked away at that, hating the sensible argument. "I still wish I'd had the chance to say goodbye. To raise you properly. Give you the chance to be a kid, you know?"
Squall looked down at the headstone. "I'll tell you what I once told Sis: I like my life the way it is; all the hardships, all the terrible things I've seen and done... I wouldn't change them. Life isn't a bed of roses; you've got to take the bad with the good. And I've got good; I have friends who I can depend on and a job I'm proud of. That's enough for me."
"You could have had that in Esthar," Laguna insisted. "Not the same friends, but you'd have still had some."
Squall frowned and shook his head. "If I'd been in Esthar, no one would have stopped Ultimecia," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Laguna shot his son a frown, recalling the name as that of a Sorceress intent on destroying the world. "There would have been someone else."
Squall sighed. 'Is it worth it to try explaining?' he wondered, but he already knew the answer, had already decided to explain some things to this man. "I don't know that there would have been," he replied quietly. "When we were coming back through Time Compression, I got a little sidetracked. I ended up back in time, at the orphanage when I was four. I'm the one who told Matron – Sorceress Edea – to create SeeD."
Laguna blinked, having not heard that part of the story before. But, still... "There could have been someone else, some other person who fell through time and talked to her."
"Maybe, in a perfect world, there was," Squall said with a shrug. "But, in this world, there was me, for good or ill. That is how this present turned out, and that's not something that can be changed. No matter what Sis might like to believe otherwise."
Laguna recalled a line in Ellone's letter where she'd apologised for not even trying to change things; he hadn't quite understood what a child could have done, but he thought he might understand now: she'd intended to use her power to change things and Squall had probably talked her out of it. Laguna wasn't sure if he was grateful to his son for keeping Ellone from playing in the minds of others, or upset that she hadn't even been given the chance to try. "I still would have, at least, liked the chance to say goodbye," he commented, shaking his head. Because if there was one thing he regretted, above and beyond not being around to raise Squall, it was that his wife had died alone.
Squall turned his gaze towards the hills in the distance, murmuring, "I can understand that."
Laguna shot his son a startled look, having thought that Squall would have been the last person to understand his pain at missing Raine's last moments. "You do?" he asked without thinking.
Squall's lips curled with a wry smile, the closest to a real smile that Laguna had seen him produce thus far. "I am not as incapable of emotions as everyone likes to joke," he said, exhaustion tingeing the twist of his lips.
"I didn't–" Laguna started, stumbling over his words to apologise for his disbelief.
Squall shook his head. "I'm not upset, Laguna. I don't mind that everyone thinks I'm emotionally incapacitated; it makes my life easier."
Laguna shifted, uncomfortable. "I'm still sorry," he muttered.
An honest smile touched Squall's lips and eyes, and Laguna was again struck by how much this young man looked like Raine, the happier emotions turning his too-grey eyes to that same shade of blue that his mother had always worn with such ease. "Seifer already told you we're dating," Squall said. "No doubt with a none-too-subtle warning to leave all further mention of it in silence."
Laguna let out a nervous laugh, remembering the threatening gleam Seifer's eyes had sported when he admitted to his and Squall's relationship. "Something like that. He told me you were keeping it quiet."
Squall shrugged and nodded, eyes still bright with his quiet smile. "Yes. It's not so important now, since we're sort of our own bosses, but keeping it quiet is practically second nature." He shot a glance towards his father. "People always think Seifer started the relationship, but it was me."
Laguna blinked in surprise, having assumed that Seifer had started things. "What, really?" he replied, curious. Was Squall willing to share things with him?
Squall snorted, amused by the surprise. "We were on a mission in Deling City, disguised as a couple. We usually cover our scars–" he ran a finger over the distinctive line dividing his eyes, "–but my make-up had rubbed off and there were people coming. So I kissed him."
Laguna let out a startled laugh, as amused by the mental image as he was by the glint of mischief in Squall's too-blue eyes. "What did he do?" he asked, feeling almost comfortable with the teen.
"Mmm... He kissed me back," Squall replied, smiling at the memory of their first couple days together. "We talked about it the next night and Seifer thought I was going to tell him there wouldn't be a relationship, was all set to argue me around, and all I wanted to do was tell him I loved him."
Laguna's breath caught at that, at the light happiness in his son's voice and the quiet smile that he wore, so unlike the stories of a cold-blooded murderer that Laguna had been hearing from everyone over the past week. And, in that moment, Laguna thought, 'We're okay. Maybe it'll never be perfect, maybe we'll never be close, but we're okay.'
-0-
Squall and Seifer were out when October, Quistis, Christal, and Gregory showed up, but Laguna was sitting at one of the tables in the inn restaurant, torn between fleeing from his son's adopted parents and proving himself by holding his ground. Thankfully, none of the party knew what he looked like, so they trooped right past him to the front desk, the tall young man in the lead – October, Laguna supposed – offering Seth a grin and a wave. "Commanders out?" he asked.
Seth nodded. "Squall's been gone all morning and Seifer left about an hour ago," he offered, well used to keeping tabs on the two leaders for the occasional villager or SeeD who was wondering after them. Most of the time, he didn't know where they'd gone, but at least he knew when they'd left. "And you must be the Gustafsons," he added, turning to the older two members of the party.
Laguna was more than a little surprised to see the man who must have been Gregory Gustafson hold out his hand for a shake to the innkeeper, an easy smile on his face. "So we are. I'm Greg, and this is Chris."
'Definitely nothing like his father,' Laguna decided, recalling the many and varied stories he'd heard from his parents about the late Lord Gustafson and his high sense of propriety.
"Seth," the owner replied, returning the handshake. "We got some rooms set up for all of you up on the third floor, with Squall and Seifer. Not sure how long you'll be in town–" he nodded to October and the young woman at his shoulder, Quistis, making both grimace, "–but at least you should have a bed for the night. Right?"
"Not likely," October muttered with the voice of experience.
Christal cleared her throat, then, smiling an easy smile that Laguna remembered from his childhood. "I heard Squall's birth father was around?" she said, looking hopeful.
Seth's eyes flickered over their shoulders to where Laguna was curled over his table and the president straightened and called, "That–" he coughed as his voice caught and they all turned to look at him. "Sorry. Uhm, th-that's me. Laguna Loire." He spared a brief moment's wish that he hadn't kicked Kiros out of the inn a couple hours ago, insistent that he meet this couple alone; his best friend's steady presence would have been a comfort.
Gregory's gaze was coolly assessing, and Laguna thought that maybe there was a bit of the man's father in him, after all. Christal, though, stepped right on over, hand outstretched and smiling even wider as Laguna took it. "Lovely to finally meet you!" she told him.
Laguna relaxed, returning her smile. "Likewise. Squall and Seifer both like to talk about you." He grimaced faintly. "When I can catch them, at least..."
Christal laughed and slid into one of the seats at Laguna's table, motioning over her shoulder for her husband and the two SeeDs to join them. "Yes, they've always been difficult to pin down for more than a few minutes at a time."
"That's an understatement," October muttered as they filled in around the table. Then he held his hand out to Laguna. "October Ricaforte, and this is Quistis Trepe."
Laguna traded handshakes with the two of them, smiling. "Zell and Xu told me all about the two of you," he told them, only a little teasingly. The two SeeDs had been back at the inn for a couple days before Seifer and Squall had sent them back out, and that time, Laguna had been willing to listen to stories about more than just Squall, finally interested in learning about the people his son had grown up around.
"All good, I hope," Quistis quipped, a knowing quirk to her lips. "I wouldn't want to have to go hunting for a new best friend."
"For the most part," Laguna agreed, liking the young woman already. He was reserving his opinion on October, though he had a feeling that, once he got past the young lord persona, they would get along fine, especially judging from some of the stories Zell had been all-too-willing to tell about the older SeeD.
"Squall mentioned you hold a public office in Esthar," Christal commented, expression curious, "but he was being unusually difficult about saying what it was."
"Squall? Being difficult?" Quistis said, looking suitably shocked. "Never!"
"Oh, you knew what I meant," Christal said, shooting the young woman a fond look. "Usually, if I ask him something, he tells me. Unless he thinks it's in my best interest to not know. In which case, he and Seifer and Greg all trade significant looks, as if I don't know what they're up to."
Gregory snorted, the stern lines of his face smoothing out to allow a fond smile to slip through. "You're just too clever for us, dear."
"Of course I am," Christal agreed, turning back to Laguna. "So, what is it? You're in charge of the rubbish collection?"
Laguna choked in surprise and shook his head. "No, no. I'm, ah... I'm the president." When all four of the newcomers sported shocked looks at that, Laguna sighed and silently cursed his son's twisted sense of humour – and no matter what anyone said on the contrary, Laguna knew Squall had one. "I assume he's been keeping that one to himself," he muttered.
"The shocked expressions are always so rewarding," Squall commented drily as he stepped up to the table, quiet laughter dancing in unusually-blue eyes. "Good afternoon," he added, eyes flicking over his adopted parents and two friends. "October, how's your leg?"
October shook his head. "Fine. You're an ass, you know that?"
"Hm." Squall turned to his adopted parents. "Chris, Greg, good to see you."
"It's good to see you too, sweetie," Christal replied, getting out of her chair to give him a hug. She pulled back after a moment and considered him, concern in her eyes. "You look like you haven't been getting enough sleep."
"I'm getting plenty of sleep," Squall promised, his expression not giving away a single hint that he was lying. And Laguna knew he was lying, because he'd been keeping track of his son's hours. Perhaps Christal and Gregory could talk the teen into slowing down a bit.
'Then again,' Laguna thought as Squall expertly soothed Christal's concerns about his health and traded greetings with Gregory and a hug with Quistis, 'maybe not. Squall doesn't seem the sort to listen to anyone, except maybe Seifer. And Seifer's been trying, with limited success.'
Squall finally slipped into a seat, unable to completely hide the way he relaxed against the hard wood, or the grateful look he sent Seth when the innkeeper brought over refreshments for the table. "Seifer up north?" he asked Seth.
Seth shrugged. "Couldn't say for sure, but probably. He left about an hour ago with C-Team."
Squall raised an eyebrow at that. "He sent out B-Team on their own?"
"Rabble-rousing in the south," Seth said with certainty. The call had come from one of the villages around the ghost village, Angles, and both Squall and Seifer avoided that area like the plague.
Squall's expression blanked for a moment, as it often did when the far south was brought up, then he nodded. "I see." He turned to the two other SeeDs at the table, gaze thoughtful. "October, I know we were talking about sending you right back out again, but Zell and Xu have mostly got things covered over in the east, so I'd like to pair you with one of the teams here."
October nodded. "If you're sure," he agreed.
"Quis, I'd like to send you out to join Xu and Zell."
Quistis sighed. "If I must," she agreed as October took the hand closest to him in his own.
Squall's expression softened, the closest to an apology he could offer for separating them. "You should be fine to spend the night, but I want you headed out first thing in the morning," he told her. It didn't escape anyone's notice that he was giving his friends one last night together when he didn't have to, and both SeeDs shot him grateful looks.
Talk moved on to less heavy topics, then. Christal wanted to know all about Laguna and his life in Esthar, while Squall was curious about those he knew in Deling, and Laguna wanted to hear more about the older couple sitting across from him.
Seifer and Kiros both joined them after a couple hours and they sat together through dinner, talking together and generally getting to know one another. When an explosion rocked the inn shortly after they'd all finished their meals, October quickly rose from his seat before Squall or Seifer could move. "I've got it," he promised them.
"If you're sure," Seifer said, a little uncertain.
October flashed him a smile. "I've been on medical leave for a week and a half; trust me, I've got this."
The four SeeDs traded looks that the four older members of their table couldn't begin to understand – having been raised always ready to fight, down-time was more a curse than a blessing, for them – then October was moving off, calling for A-Team to get off their plump behinds.
For the first time since Laguna had arrived, Squall and Seifer retired together shortly after dinner. He wasn't certain if it was Christal's stern order that they get some sleep, October's presence and the silent certainty that he was around to handle a problem, their own exhaustion, or a mixture of the three that got the two Commanders to turn in at a reasonable time, but Laguna was secretly glad for it. Honestly, watching them overwork themselves made him tired, but he didn't trust his position enough yet to actually order the two of them to take a break.
"I wish they would slow down, sometimes," Christal commented once Seifer and Squall had disappeared up the stairs.
Quistis sighed and shook her head. "Not going to happen." When Christal's face fell, she added, "Sorry, Lady Chris, but they're just too married to their work to take a break. Seifer jokes, sometimes, about taking a long holiday, but I don't think he really means it. And now that they're the Commanders...well..." She shrugged.
"We'll do what we can while we're here," Gregory said. When he looked towards Laguna, including him in the quiet promise to make the teens slow down, Laguna was momentarily stunned before he gave a quick nod.
It was about time he learned how to be a dad.
-0-0-0-
-0-0-0-
A/N: Ah, Laguna. You make this story so much harder. *facepalm* I had to re-write the scene at Raine's grave four or five times before Squall, Laguna, and I could all agree on a course of events. I'm blaming the whole thing on Laguna because Squally and I were pretty much in complete agreement the whole time, but Laguna... *growls* Jeebus.
~Bats ^.^x
Chapters:
1 - Touch of Memory ||| 2 - No One Here to Save
3 - Burn Up the Tracks
4 - Orphans and Widows ||| 5 - Close the Last Window ||| 6 - Melodies of Life
7 - Lie Under the Night ||| 8 - Not Invincible ||| 9 - Don't Want the World
10 - Dance With the Enemy ||| 11 - Everything I Have in This World ||| 12 - Running Out of Days
13 - Wake Up and Fight ||| 14 - Crimson Sky ||| 15 - Heroes Waiting
16 - Light in My Eyes ||| 17 - Lying Next to a Ghost |||18 - Living For Today
19 - Some Things Are That Simple
..
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Author: Batsutousai/
batsutousaiBeta: Shara Lunison/
tsuki_no_suzu & Shivani/grazhirChapters: 18 of 19
Rating: T
Pairings: Seifer/Squall, Irvine/Selphie, Zell/Xu, Quistis/OMC, Fujin/Raijin
Warnings: AU, major canon-buggery, OoC Squall, slash/yaoi
Summary: No one thought to warn Squall against touching his younger self, and he leaves a part of himself behind when he returns to Time Compression.
A/N: This chapter got so completely and utterly away from me. I think it's because I was tired. Possibly had something to do with dinner. Dunno. At any rate, it's a little weird. Not sure how I feel about the whole thing.
Living For Today
-0-0-0-
When Laguna had decided to join the group of soldiers intent on lending a hand to SeeD, he'd had vague thoughts of offering his own services in assistance, no matter what Kiros said about the leader of a country not getting involved in the civil war of another country, even if they were lending soldiers to the cause. He'd thought that, surely, he could talk his son into letting him help out – he'd been a soldier himself, once upon a time – but the first time he'd mentioned assisting to Squall, the teen had pinned him with a blank stare and said, "No," before walking off and refusing to hear how Laguna could help. When he'd asked Seifer, thinking him more friendly, the blond had laughed in his face and told him to, "Sit down and enjoy your holiday, old man."
So Laguna spent his time walking around the village, talking to SeeDs and villagers alike. He managed to learn a fair bit about his son and Seifer – there were few stories that featured one without the other, he was discovering – and while far too much of it involved their various, bloody missions, he also heard about how unusually close they were, to each other and their group of friends. It took him a couple days, but he did eventually get an actual reason for Squall's destruction of an entire village: Seifer had almost died.
'I think anyone even thinking about going against one of the two of them is going to end up very dead,' Laguna decided as he walked away from that particular conversation.
Laguna discovered that the Commanders were also much loved by their people, in spite of everyone's insistence that SeeD was cut-throat and being the 'best' meant always watching your back. While Seifer often irritated people with his self-satisfied smirks and sharp tongue, and Squall's aloof personality caused plenty to complain behind their backs, every single SeeD Laguna talked to agreed that the two teens were the absolute best, and they'd follow no one else. There was none of that grumbled hostility that Laguna was familiar with from the normal army, about their leaders being full of themselves, but, then, Squall and Seifer were hardly the sort to sit back and leave the dirty work to their subordinates.
Laguna quickly learned that having one of the two Commanders in the inn, as Seifer had been when they'd arrived, was an anomaly of epic proportions. Squall and Seifer preferred being out on the field, handling things personally, even if it was something stupid, like fixing a broken bridge or rescuing a child from a well. While that was great for morale – among the SeeDs and villagers alike – it meant that Laguna didn't see much of his son, often just missing him in the mornings – Squall was an earlier riser than even Laguna, who'd always driven his friends nuts with his tendency to be up at first light – or getting back from a stroll around the village after Squall had already turned in for the night. He saw more of Seifer, who woke late and spent many an evening after Squall had retired reading reports downstairs, an ear cocked for any trouble he might need to see to.
One rare morning, almost a week since his arrival, Laguna managed to get downstairs before something exploded and found his son seated at one of the tables, the leftovers of his breakfast pushed to one side while he read through a report. Laguna debated between distracting Squall and leaving him to his papers for a moment before deciding spending time with his son was more important than letting him do his work – Laguna was quite firm in the belief that spending time with family and friends was more important than paperwork. "Good morning, Squall," he said as he settled in across from the teen.
Squall blinked up at him, clearly surprised, but then his eyes seemed to smile – at least, Laguna hoped it was a smile – and he set down his pen. "Good morning, Laguna. You're up early."
"No, you're just here late," Laguna corrected, because he wasn't up any earlier than usual.
Squall looked startled at that and glanced around the room, taking in the other SeeDs who were enjoying breakfast and the clock on the wall. "Huh. Maybe Seifer did put something in the drinking water, after all."
Laguna snorted and covered a smile, having heard about Seifer's threat to put some sort of sleeping agent in the water for the neighbouring villages so they'd all fuck off for a couple days. "Maybe things are just finally calming down?" he suggested."
"Wouldn't that be nice," Squall replied drily, shaking his head.
Seth appeared, then, setting down some food in front of Laguna and waving a pot at Squall. "More tea?"
Squall held up his cup in response. "Thanks, Seth."
The owner smiled and refilled the cup as he said, "I don't suppose you've gone by Raine's grave," to Laguna.
The president blinked. "Oh. Erm, no. I haven't." In truth, he'd sort of wanted to go with Squall, but the teen was always so busy... And...maybe he was just a little afraid to go by himself; he'd been avoiding Raine's pub, too, as if going inside would be the final nail on a coffin long buried.
Squall frowned a bit. "Why not?" he asked, honestly confused. It wasn't like Laguna had a lot of strain on his time or anything, right? From what Squall had heard, his father mostly wandered the village and asked about himself and Seifer. (Squall had ended up telling everyone that Laguna was his father just because he got tired of SeeDs asking why the Estharian President would be interested in his personal life. He'd intended to keep it between his friends, if only for Laguna's safety, but that had clearly been a pipe dream. If nothing else, the relation should stay within SeeD and the village, however, so he wouldn't have to worry about one of his many enemies thinking going after the president would be a good idea. If Laguna was the sort to surround himself with guards, Squall wouldn't have been as worried about it, but his father liked his freedom, preferring only Kiros or Ward at his back, and that was not enough protection. Not as far as Squall was concerned.)
Laguna flushed and poked at his breakfast. "Oh, uhm... Well, I..." He let out a nervous laugh and chanced a glance up at Squall's blank look. "I was...hoping we could...go together?" he admitted, looking away again.
Squall blinked. 'Go together? Huh.' He shrugged. "Sure."
Laguna's head jerked up and he stared at his son. "Huh? R-really?"
Squall shrugged again. "Yeah. I haven't had the chance to go yet, either." He always made a point to visit Raine's grave when he was in the area. Never with Seifer, but his lover had insisted that it was Squall's time, and he didn't want to be in the way, no matter how many times Squall assured him it was fine if he came along.
Laguna's expression softened at that, unable to help the way his heart jumped into his throat at Squall's reply. "You, uhm, you often visit her grave?"
Squall nodded. "When I'm down here, sure. Seifer and I have been in and out of Southern Galbadia for the past two years, dealing with the rebellion, and I usually try stopping by. It's..." He frowned a bit, not sure how to explain his need to visit with his birth mother's grave.
Laguna nodded, understanding what Squall couldn't quite manage to voice. "When do you want to go?" he asked.
Squall's frown deepened as he thought about it. He really was quite busy, but he didn't need to be constantly out of the village; more than a few SeeDs had mentioned that he should put aside some time for his father. But, still. His job was important.
The chair next to him scraped across the floor and Seifer dropped into it, tiredly sweeping some of the papers out of the way. "Morn– Oh, crap. Please don't tell me someone tried talking emotions with you again," he complained, catching sight of Squall's frown.
Squall rolled his eyes. "Trying to decide when to visit Raine's grave," he informed his lover while Laguna snorted at Seifer's words; it was no secret that Squall closed off whenever anyone started asking him how he felt, after all.
Laguna winced a bit at hearing Squall refer to his mother by her given name, but he already knew that his son had trouble with admitting familial attachment. Still, if Squall had managed to call anyone 'Mom' or 'Dad', he'd hoped it would have been Raine.
Seifer flashed Seth a smile as the owner placed his breakfast in front of him, then turned back to Squall. "Go now," he suggested. "I can keep an eye on things while you're gone."
Squall frowned again. "But what if–?"
"Squally," Seifer interrupted with the air of someone who'd expected that response, "I know they're a bunch of idiots, but you really can leave them alone for a couple hours without worrying that someone's going to blow themselves up. If something happens that only you can handle, I know where you are. Go visit your mom. Maybe spend a couple hours with Laguna."
Squall sighed and gave his partner a tired look. "You're sure?"
Seifer rolled his eyes. "It's this, or I knock you out for a few hours. Your choice."
"You're getting less sleep than me," Squall pointed out.
"Yes, but unlike some perfectionists I know, I take breaks."
"I'm not a per–"
"Yes. You are," Seifer cut in, giving Squall a sharp look.
Squall's mouth snapped shut and he seemed to be pouting, though his expression and posture remained perfectly neutral.
Seifer reached over and picked up one of the papers he'd swept out of the way when he sat. "Huh," he said after a quick glance over.
"Huh?" Laguna repeated, trying to hide a smile at their interactions. It really was a pity he saw so little of his son.
Seifer glanced at him briefly before shrugging and saying, "We'll be having some guests you might like to meet in a couple days."
Squall sighed. "I told her no. Twice."
Seifer flashed him a knowing smile. "At least she agreed to wait until October was cleared to travel?" he replied.
"Who are these guests?" Laguna wondered, looking between the two teens. He knew October was one of their friends, and vaguely remembered hearing that he'd been on medical leave, but other than that he had no idea.
"Chris and Greg," Squall replied tightly. "It was mentioned, in passing, that you were down here, and Chris has been wanting to meet you since I mentioned you were still alive last year."
Laguna let out a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his head. "Uh-oh. Should I run for it while I still have the chance?"
"Yes," Seifer told him, perfectly serious, only to get smacked by Squall. He flashed his lover a grin before looking back at Laguna. "Nah, you should be fine."
The hotel shook with a distant explosion and a few SeeDs groaned. Squall was half out of his seat before Seifer grabbed his bicep in a grip that looked like it hurt. The two glared at each other for a long moment before the brunet grunted and dropped back into his seat.
Seifer nodded and called, "A-Team, you're on your own today."
The SeeDs who made up A-Team flashed their leaders understanding looks as they gathered their things and made for the door.
Seifer turned to Laguna. "You might want to drag Squally out before something else explodes."
"Shut up, Seifer," Squall muttered.
Laguna was mostly done with his breakfast, though, and he took a chance to finish the last of his juice before standing. "If you're ready?" he offered his son, though he knew Squall was ready to head out, since he'd been ready to take on that explosion.
Squall sighed and rose to his feet. "Yes. We can stop by the flower shop on the way."
Laguna smiled and nodded. "White flowers, right?"
Squall's eyes brightened ever so slightly. "Yes," he agreed, leading the way outside.
The trip to the graveyard was made in silence, broken only briefly during their stop at the flower shop to pick out the perfect bouquet of white flowers. When they reached the huddle of graves, Squall led the way to Raine's grave with an ease that spoke of how many times he'd been there.
Squall laid the flowers down and stepped back, expression blank as he looked down at the headstone. Next to him, Laguna swallowed against the urge to cry at this sign of her passing. This was all the proof he'd ever needed to know she was gone, and it hurt. Hurt far more than Ellone's letter, telling him that Raine had been gone for years, leaving behind a son that he'd never even known he had.
"I...I'm sorry," he said, uncertain who he was apologising to. "I wish I hadn't left. I–"
"I don't," Squall interrupted, voice quiet.
Laguna turned to stare at the teen. "You don't what?" he asked, uncertain if he'd heard him right. Squall couldn't possibly be saying–
"I don't wish you'd stayed," Squall replied.
'I guess he was.'
The young man glanced at Laguna's wounded expression and sighed. "If you hadn't left, who knows what would have happened to Sis or with Adel. Maybe you would have been there to take care of me, but what about Sis? And would it have even mattered, in the long run? I mean, Adel easily could have destroyed the whole world, and then it wouldn't have mattered that you stayed, would it? We'd all be dead."
Laguna looked away at that, hating the sensible argument. "I still wish I'd had the chance to say goodbye. To raise you properly. Give you the chance to be a kid, you know?"
Squall looked down at the headstone. "I'll tell you what I once told Sis: I like my life the way it is; all the hardships, all the terrible things I've seen and done... I wouldn't change them. Life isn't a bed of roses; you've got to take the bad with the good. And I've got good; I have friends who I can depend on and a job I'm proud of. That's enough for me."
"You could have had that in Esthar," Laguna insisted. "Not the same friends, but you'd have still had some."
Squall frowned and shook his head. "If I'd been in Esthar, no one would have stopped Ultimecia," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Laguna shot his son a frown, recalling the name as that of a Sorceress intent on destroying the world. "There would have been someone else."
Squall sighed. 'Is it worth it to try explaining?' he wondered, but he already knew the answer, had already decided to explain some things to this man. "I don't know that there would have been," he replied quietly. "When we were coming back through Time Compression, I got a little sidetracked. I ended up back in time, at the orphanage when I was four. I'm the one who told Matron – Sorceress Edea – to create SeeD."
Laguna blinked, having not heard that part of the story before. But, still... "There could have been someone else, some other person who fell through time and talked to her."
"Maybe, in a perfect world, there was," Squall said with a shrug. "But, in this world, there was me, for good or ill. That is how this present turned out, and that's not something that can be changed. No matter what Sis might like to believe otherwise."
Laguna recalled a line in Ellone's letter where she'd apologised for not even trying to change things; he hadn't quite understood what a child could have done, but he thought he might understand now: she'd intended to use her power to change things and Squall had probably talked her out of it. Laguna wasn't sure if he was grateful to his son for keeping Ellone from playing in the minds of others, or upset that she hadn't even been given the chance to try. "I still would have, at least, liked the chance to say goodbye," he commented, shaking his head. Because if there was one thing he regretted, above and beyond not being around to raise Squall, it was that his wife had died alone.
Squall turned his gaze towards the hills in the distance, murmuring, "I can understand that."
Laguna shot his son a startled look, having thought that Squall would have been the last person to understand his pain at missing Raine's last moments. "You do?" he asked without thinking.
Squall's lips curled with a wry smile, the closest to a real smile that Laguna had seen him produce thus far. "I am not as incapable of emotions as everyone likes to joke," he said, exhaustion tingeing the twist of his lips.
"I didn't–" Laguna started, stumbling over his words to apologise for his disbelief.
Squall shook his head. "I'm not upset, Laguna. I don't mind that everyone thinks I'm emotionally incapacitated; it makes my life easier."
Laguna shifted, uncomfortable. "I'm still sorry," he muttered.
An honest smile touched Squall's lips and eyes, and Laguna was again struck by how much this young man looked like Raine, the happier emotions turning his too-grey eyes to that same shade of blue that his mother had always worn with such ease. "Seifer already told you we're dating," Squall said. "No doubt with a none-too-subtle warning to leave all further mention of it in silence."
Laguna let out a nervous laugh, remembering the threatening gleam Seifer's eyes had sported when he admitted to his and Squall's relationship. "Something like that. He told me you were keeping it quiet."
Squall shrugged and nodded, eyes still bright with his quiet smile. "Yes. It's not so important now, since we're sort of our own bosses, but keeping it quiet is practically second nature." He shot a glance towards his father. "People always think Seifer started the relationship, but it was me."
Laguna blinked in surprise, having assumed that Seifer had started things. "What, really?" he replied, curious. Was Squall willing to share things with him?
Squall snorted, amused by the surprise. "We were on a mission in Deling City, disguised as a couple. We usually cover our scars–" he ran a finger over the distinctive line dividing his eyes, "–but my make-up had rubbed off and there were people coming. So I kissed him."
Laguna let out a startled laugh, as amused by the mental image as he was by the glint of mischief in Squall's too-blue eyes. "What did he do?" he asked, feeling almost comfortable with the teen.
"Mmm... He kissed me back," Squall replied, smiling at the memory of their first couple days together. "We talked about it the next night and Seifer thought I was going to tell him there wouldn't be a relationship, was all set to argue me around, and all I wanted to do was tell him I loved him."
Laguna's breath caught at that, at the light happiness in his son's voice and the quiet smile that he wore, so unlike the stories of a cold-blooded murderer that Laguna had been hearing from everyone over the past week. And, in that moment, Laguna thought, 'We're okay. Maybe it'll never be perfect, maybe we'll never be close, but we're okay.'
Squall and Seifer were out when October, Quistis, Christal, and Gregory showed up, but Laguna was sitting at one of the tables in the inn restaurant, torn between fleeing from his son's adopted parents and proving himself by holding his ground. Thankfully, none of the party knew what he looked like, so they trooped right past him to the front desk, the tall young man in the lead – October, Laguna supposed – offering Seth a grin and a wave. "Commanders out?" he asked.
Seth nodded. "Squall's been gone all morning and Seifer left about an hour ago," he offered, well used to keeping tabs on the two leaders for the occasional villager or SeeD who was wondering after them. Most of the time, he didn't know where they'd gone, but at least he knew when they'd left. "And you must be the Gustafsons," he added, turning to the older two members of the party.
Laguna was more than a little surprised to see the man who must have been Gregory Gustafson hold out his hand for a shake to the innkeeper, an easy smile on his face. "So we are. I'm Greg, and this is Chris."
'Definitely nothing like his father,' Laguna decided, recalling the many and varied stories he'd heard from his parents about the late Lord Gustafson and his high sense of propriety.
"Seth," the owner replied, returning the handshake. "We got some rooms set up for all of you up on the third floor, with Squall and Seifer. Not sure how long you'll be in town–" he nodded to October and the young woman at his shoulder, Quistis, making both grimace, "–but at least you should have a bed for the night. Right?"
"Not likely," October muttered with the voice of experience.
Christal cleared her throat, then, smiling an easy smile that Laguna remembered from his childhood. "I heard Squall's birth father was around?" she said, looking hopeful.
Seth's eyes flickered over their shoulders to where Laguna was curled over his table and the president straightened and called, "That–" he coughed as his voice caught and they all turned to look at him. "Sorry. Uhm, th-that's me. Laguna Loire." He spared a brief moment's wish that he hadn't kicked Kiros out of the inn a couple hours ago, insistent that he meet this couple alone; his best friend's steady presence would have been a comfort.
Gregory's gaze was coolly assessing, and Laguna thought that maybe there was a bit of the man's father in him, after all. Christal, though, stepped right on over, hand outstretched and smiling even wider as Laguna took it. "Lovely to finally meet you!" she told him.
Laguna relaxed, returning her smile. "Likewise. Squall and Seifer both like to talk about you." He grimaced faintly. "When I can catch them, at least..."
Christal laughed and slid into one of the seats at Laguna's table, motioning over her shoulder for her husband and the two SeeDs to join them. "Yes, they've always been difficult to pin down for more than a few minutes at a time."
"That's an understatement," October muttered as they filled in around the table. Then he held his hand out to Laguna. "October Ricaforte, and this is Quistis Trepe."
Laguna traded handshakes with the two of them, smiling. "Zell and Xu told me all about the two of you," he told them, only a little teasingly. The two SeeDs had been back at the inn for a couple days before Seifer and Squall had sent them back out, and that time, Laguna had been willing to listen to stories about more than just Squall, finally interested in learning about the people his son had grown up around.
"All good, I hope," Quistis quipped, a knowing quirk to her lips. "I wouldn't want to have to go hunting for a new best friend."
"For the most part," Laguna agreed, liking the young woman already. He was reserving his opinion on October, though he had a feeling that, once he got past the young lord persona, they would get along fine, especially judging from some of the stories Zell had been all-too-willing to tell about the older SeeD.
"Squall mentioned you hold a public office in Esthar," Christal commented, expression curious, "but he was being unusually difficult about saying what it was."
"Squall? Being difficult?" Quistis said, looking suitably shocked. "Never!"
"Oh, you knew what I meant," Christal said, shooting the young woman a fond look. "Usually, if I ask him something, he tells me. Unless he thinks it's in my best interest to not know. In which case, he and Seifer and Greg all trade significant looks, as if I don't know what they're up to."
Gregory snorted, the stern lines of his face smoothing out to allow a fond smile to slip through. "You're just too clever for us, dear."
"Of course I am," Christal agreed, turning back to Laguna. "So, what is it? You're in charge of the rubbish collection?"
Laguna choked in surprise and shook his head. "No, no. I'm, ah... I'm the president." When all four of the newcomers sported shocked looks at that, Laguna sighed and silently cursed his son's twisted sense of humour – and no matter what anyone said on the contrary, Laguna knew Squall had one. "I assume he's been keeping that one to himself," he muttered.
"The shocked expressions are always so rewarding," Squall commented drily as he stepped up to the table, quiet laughter dancing in unusually-blue eyes. "Good afternoon," he added, eyes flicking over his adopted parents and two friends. "October, how's your leg?"
October shook his head. "Fine. You're an ass, you know that?"
"Hm." Squall turned to his adopted parents. "Chris, Greg, good to see you."
"It's good to see you too, sweetie," Christal replied, getting out of her chair to give him a hug. She pulled back after a moment and considered him, concern in her eyes. "You look like you haven't been getting enough sleep."
"I'm getting plenty of sleep," Squall promised, his expression not giving away a single hint that he was lying. And Laguna knew he was lying, because he'd been keeping track of his son's hours. Perhaps Christal and Gregory could talk the teen into slowing down a bit.
'Then again,' Laguna thought as Squall expertly soothed Christal's concerns about his health and traded greetings with Gregory and a hug with Quistis, 'maybe not. Squall doesn't seem the sort to listen to anyone, except maybe Seifer. And Seifer's been trying, with limited success.'
Squall finally slipped into a seat, unable to completely hide the way he relaxed against the hard wood, or the grateful look he sent Seth when the innkeeper brought over refreshments for the table. "Seifer up north?" he asked Seth.
Seth shrugged. "Couldn't say for sure, but probably. He left about an hour ago with C-Team."
Squall raised an eyebrow at that. "He sent out B-Team on their own?"
"Rabble-rousing in the south," Seth said with certainty. The call had come from one of the villages around the ghost village, Angles, and both Squall and Seifer avoided that area like the plague.
Squall's expression blanked for a moment, as it often did when the far south was brought up, then he nodded. "I see." He turned to the two other SeeDs at the table, gaze thoughtful. "October, I know we were talking about sending you right back out again, but Zell and Xu have mostly got things covered over in the east, so I'd like to pair you with one of the teams here."
October nodded. "If you're sure," he agreed.
"Quis, I'd like to send you out to join Xu and Zell."
Quistis sighed. "If I must," she agreed as October took the hand closest to him in his own.
Squall's expression softened, the closest to an apology he could offer for separating them. "You should be fine to spend the night, but I want you headed out first thing in the morning," he told her. It didn't escape anyone's notice that he was giving his friends one last night together when he didn't have to, and both SeeDs shot him grateful looks.
Talk moved on to less heavy topics, then. Christal wanted to know all about Laguna and his life in Esthar, while Squall was curious about those he knew in Deling, and Laguna wanted to hear more about the older couple sitting across from him.
Seifer and Kiros both joined them after a couple hours and they sat together through dinner, talking together and generally getting to know one another. When an explosion rocked the inn shortly after they'd all finished their meals, October quickly rose from his seat before Squall or Seifer could move. "I've got it," he promised them.
"If you're sure," Seifer said, a little uncertain.
October flashed him a smile. "I've been on medical leave for a week and a half; trust me, I've got this."
The four SeeDs traded looks that the four older members of their table couldn't begin to understand – having been raised always ready to fight, down-time was more a curse than a blessing, for them – then October was moving off, calling for A-Team to get off their plump behinds.
For the first time since Laguna had arrived, Squall and Seifer retired together shortly after dinner. He wasn't certain if it was Christal's stern order that they get some sleep, October's presence and the silent certainty that he was around to handle a problem, their own exhaustion, or a mixture of the three that got the two Commanders to turn in at a reasonable time, but Laguna was secretly glad for it. Honestly, watching them overwork themselves made him tired, but he didn't trust his position enough yet to actually order the two of them to take a break.
"I wish they would slow down, sometimes," Christal commented once Seifer and Squall had disappeared up the stairs.
Quistis sighed and shook her head. "Not going to happen." When Christal's face fell, she added, "Sorry, Lady Chris, but they're just too married to their work to take a break. Seifer jokes, sometimes, about taking a long holiday, but I don't think he really means it. And now that they're the Commanders...well..." She shrugged.
"We'll do what we can while we're here," Gregory said. When he looked towards Laguna, including him in the quiet promise to make the teens slow down, Laguna was momentarily stunned before he gave a quick nod.
It was about time he learned how to be a dad.
-0-0-0-
A/N: Ah, Laguna. You make this story so much harder. *facepalm* I had to re-write the scene at Raine's grave four or five times before Squall, Laguna, and I could all agree on a course of events. I'm blaming the whole thing on Laguna because Squally and I were pretty much in complete agreement the whole time, but Laguna... *growls* Jeebus.
~Bats ^.^x
1 - Touch of Memory ||| 2 - No One Here to Save
3 - Burn Up the Tracks
4 - Orphans and Widows ||| 5 - Close the Last Window ||| 6 - Melodies of Life
7 - Lie Under the Night ||| 8 - Not Invincible ||| 9 - Don't Want the World
10 - Dance With the Enemy ||| 11 - Everything I Have in This World ||| 12 - Running Out of Days
13 - Wake Up and Fight ||| 14 - Crimson Sky ||| 15 - Heroes Waiting
16 - Light in My Eyes ||| 17 - Lying Next to a Ghost |||
19 - Some Things Are That Simple
..
