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batsutousaiTitle: Sins of Our Young
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Author: Batsutousai/![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
batsutousai
Betas: Shara Lunison/tsuki_no_suzu & Shivani/grazhir
Chapters: 3 of 10
Rating: T
Pairings: Seifer/Squall, Irvine/Selphie, hints of Quistis/Rinoa
Warnings: AU, minor canon-fuckery, Rinoa bashing, minor Quisty bashing
Summary: How the game could have gone if the writers weren't on crack and so set on everyone being straight.
A/N: I was having a hell of a time fitting Fujin and Raijin anywhere, so I'm just going to say here that they were left behind in Balamb Town with a large number of junior classmen and some other upper classmen. So they're not in Garden.
-0-0-0-
Every Little Earthquake
-0-0-0-
Once they'd manoeuvred Garden out into the ocean, Selphie ordered Squall back to bed, insisting that she could handle the controls for the first four hours. Quietly amused, Squall returned to Cid's room and sat on the bed. He wasn't particularly tired, and he'd eaten upon waking, twenty minutes or so ago, so he took a moment to glance around the room. He saw a line of pictures of what appeared to be a woman and a group of children and, curious, wandered over to look closer. 'Cid's mom and siblings? Or–' His eyes widened.
The picture at the very front had a smiling woman looking rather like Sorceress Edea, sans make-up. At her feet were a gaggle of laughing children who looked so familiar. Especially that one sullen boy standing grumpily with a blond's arm around his shoulder. 'That's...me? And Seifer. And...' His eyes trailed over the photo, taking in familiar smiles and stances. 'Selphie? Quistis and Zell? Irvine... And...Sis...Ellone...'
The door snicked open and a throat cleared. "Ah..." Cid let out a nervous laugh as Squall turned to him, still holding the photo. "I suppose I should have removed those sooner..."
"Wha–?" Squall swallowed against the dryness in his throat and tried again. "What is this? Why are... We're..."
Cid carefully slipped the photo from trembling fingers and settled it back with the other photos. "Why don't you sit down, Squall," he suggested, gently leading the teen to the bed, which he sort of fell into, memories clouding his eyes.
"The orphanage," Squall murmured. "We were all..."
"My wife started the orphanage after the Sorceress War," Cid offered, pulling over a chair for himself. "She – Edea – had been a sorceress since she was very young and she felt as though she were somewhat at fault for the suffering you orphans had gone through at the hands of Adel. Taking in orphans was her way of repenting."
Squall shook his head. "Matron?" he asked. "She's the Sorceress? Your... wife?"
Cid's smile turned bitter. "Yes. She was the one who came up with SeeD. A group of well-trained fighters meant to destroy any Sorceresses who would threaten the world. Even if that Sorceress is her."
Squall swallowed and focussed on the man in front of him. "SeeD was created to combat the Sorceresses?"
"Yes."
"But... if Edea, if Matron knew that, why..." Squall frowned, clenching his hands. "In D-District, she wanted to know what SeeD was for."
Cid frowned. "Perhaps she has forgotten because of the madness." He sighed. "Perhaps it's for the best."
Squall's eyes glanced back towards the picture of himself and the others. "Why... I don't...remember..." he tried to explain, for once cursing his own social inadequacies.
"There is...some truth, to the claims of GFs erasing memories," Cid admitted, wincing when Squall shot him a heated glare. "I had to!" he insisted. "There was no way any of you could face a sorceress without outside assistance, and against the destruction of the world, the loss of a few memories..."
Squall looked away, understanding that rationale even as he hated it. A memory came to him then, of a pained smile under a broad hat. "Galbadia Garden doesn't use GFs," he realised. 'Irvine recognised us. And we... Fuck, Irvine, I'm sorry...'
"No, they don't," Cid agreed. "It's something Martine and I often argue about. Neither does Trabia, for that matter, though they, at least, make them available to their students."
Squall nodded and closed his eyes, suddenly tired. "Did you need help moving out?" he asked in a monotone.
"Hm? Oh!" Cid let out a nervous laugh and shook his head. "No, I'll be fine on my own. And Doctor Kadowaki would have my head if I had you helping; I know you're still not all better. Why don't you get some sleep? I can move all of this stuff later," he said, standing and moving the chair back to its spot against the wall.
Silently agreeing, Squall kicked his boots off and curled up on the bed.
"Squall, for what it's worth, I'm sorry," Cid offered before slipping from the room.
Squall pressed his eyes together tightly, like a child trying to ignore the monster under the bed. 'You're sorry? It's too late for sorry, Cid. This... doesn't change anything. Edea is our enemy, now, and I'll protect everyone. Whether she raised us or not, I'll fight her. I must.'
He turned over and glanced at the photo across the room. 'Should I tell the others? Should I tell them we're fighting Matron? Would it... hurt them? Would it make them pause at the wrong moment? Would telling them... get them killed?' He sighed. 'Why does this have to be my choice? Why do I have to decide whether to break their hearts now or later?
'What if we face her again and one of them recognises her? Can I take that chance? Can I allow the possibility that the memories will return at the wrong moment? Can I let them face her without knowing who they're working to kill? They'll hate me if I tell them after, but they might desert me if I tell them before...
'Who am I kidding? Desert me, then. I won't lie to them.' Squall closed his eyes. 'I'll tell them in FH. That should give them plenty of opportunity to sort out their feelings. Without failing at their duties.'
-0-
It took them about fifteen hours to reach FH, and with so much rest and a couple good meals under his belt, Squall finally felt one hundred percent again. He'd stopped by the infirmary on his way to join the party going ashore and Doctor Kadowaki had cleared him with a smile.
"FH is a pacifistic community," Xu informed them once they'd all gathered by the second floor deck, which had been lined up with a crane for ease of travelling between the city and Garden. "Because of that, we'll be leaving all obvious weaponry on Garden, rather than trying to take it into the city."
"Where are we leaving our weapons?" Quistis asked as she unclipped her whip.
Xu directed them to a safety locker that had been attached next to the inner door and Quistis, Selphie and Squall slipped their weapons inside. As Xu's daggers and Zell's fists weren't obvious weapons, neither of them had to leave anything behind. However, being SeeDs, the three who'd checked their weapons also wore concealed knives and, in Quistis' case, a small hand pistol, which they left in place.
At Xu's silent direction, Squall sighed and took the lead out onto the deck. A small crowd of people stood above them, uncertain. Squall held out his hands to show he was unarmed and called, "We're here for peaceful negotiation. May we come ashore?"
The group on the crane traded looks, then one called, "Yeah! Come on up!"
The five SeeDs scaled the crane and jumped lightly up in front of the group from FH. "What can we do for you folks?" a different man asked, tone slightly hostile.
"We've only just discovered Garden to be mobile and it's a bit sluggish, not to mention the difficulty of determining what all the controls are for," Squall explained in an even tone. "We're hoping to barter for the service of your technicians in getting everything updated."
There was a surprised silence at that announcement. Eventually, one of the men grinned and stepped forward, hand held out for a handshake. "Jacob," he offered.
Squall blinked blankly in surprise for a moment. Selphie finally shoved at his back and he raised his own hand to complete the greeting. "Squall," he allowed, still confused.
Jacob nodded and motioned for someone in the back of the crowd to run ahead. "Not often we get peaceful mercenaries in these parts," he commented, earning him a chorus of laughter from behind him. "We'll send you on to the mayor to do your bartering, but be sure to stop by the pub before you leave, eh? Trade some stories over a couple beers."
Squall just blinked a few more times. 'What the hell?'
"It would be our pleasure," Xu intervened, saving Squall from the friendly crowd. "Where can we find the mayor?"
"Just go straight down, miss. His house is right in the middle, can't miss it," Jacob offered, still grinning at Squall's blank look.
The SeeDs slipped past the crowd and made their way along the crane, Xu taking the lead with an amused smile.
Zell knocked shoulders with Squall, grinning. "That was kind of awesome, man. You made a new friend!"
Squall shot him a frown.
"Oh, come on! Lighten up, Squall!"
Selphie giggled and grabbed on to Squall's arm, inserting herself between the two men. "What's that? It sounds like Zell wants to train with you, Squall; his fists to your gunblade."
Zell quickly fell back out of sight of the taller teen, Quistis and Xu laughing at his reaction.
Squall had started to develop a foreign fondness for the small young woman attached to his arm, and he wasn't sure if it was because he remembered snippets of her as an excitable child, or because he had spent the last fifteen hours at the helm of Garden with her, cheered by her constant smiles and bad jokes. Whichever it was, he actually didn't mind her hanging off his arm and didn't bother making her let go like he would have anyone else. Instead, he patted her hand in thanks for her defence and stayed silent as the other four commented on the view, which really was quite stunning.
The mayor's house was, in fact, hard to miss. He was a much less cheerful man than his people, however, not even waiting for them to sit before snapping, "I've been told you're looking to barter for our services?"
"We are," Xu agreed, deciding to not make Squall play spokesperson for once. "We can pay you, or trade you any skills our students might–"
"The only thing I want from your kind is for you to stay out of my city," the mayor snapped. "You lot stay in Garden and I'll consider that a fair trade for our services. Agreed?"
Xu blinked, thrown, then looked back at Squall.
Squall fought the urge to sigh. "We should be able to do that," he agreed. "We don't have access to the messaging system and some of our people wanted to get in contact with their families. Is there a chance you would allow them to come ashore and use a public terminal, or..."
The mayor scowled. "Family?" he muttered.
"Darling, perhaps we can allow them that much," the woman at the mayor's elbow suggested quietly. "They can use the terminal at the inn."
"Only if they leave their weapons on your ship!" the mayor snapped.
"Agreed."
"Good. Now get out of my house!"
The SeeDs obediently left, heading back towards the crane. "That went well," Xu commented drily.
Selphie took hold of Squall's arm again. "I should check and see if Trabia Garden's responded yet."
Squall nodded, interested to see if Irvine had messaged him again with further news. "We'll drop by the inn. Quistis? Zell? Xu?"
"Sure, I'll come with you two," Zell said, hands in his pockets.
Quistis shook her head. "I don't have anyone who might message me."
"Nor do I," Xu agreed. "We'll head back to Garden and let Cid know that the repairs are a go. As well as telling everyone to remain in Garden."
Squall nodded, eyes thoughtful. "Once we're back, we can work out a rotation for those who want to check their messages," he decided. "I'd like to keep the number of people in town to a minimum, but I don't want any students out on their own."
"Sounds good. I'll see if I can't compile a list by the time you return," Xu agreed as they reached the crossroad. "Good luck, and try not to cause any trouble?" She looked pointedly at Zell.
Zell grinned. "I'll be on my best behaviour!"
"We'll watch him," Squall promised. At his elbow, Selphie nodded vigorously.
Quistis and Xu waved as they made their way up the crane, leaving the other three to head into town. The people they met in the streets were cheerful and friendly, but the three refused to let themselves get waylaid. They reached the inn soon enough and the two men stepped back to let Selphie use the terminal in peace.
"How long do you think the repairs will take?" Zell wondered, looking out the small window towards the ocean past the tracks that served as a street in this city.
Squall shrugged. "Hopefully no more than a couple days. I don't want to chance Galbadia Garden finding us here."
Zell grimaced. "Yeah. I don't think that mayor would appreciate it if we fought within sight of his house, right?"
'That's an understatement,' Squall thought.
Selphie skipped over to them and latched on to Squall's arm again. "Trabia's last message said they were working on getting their system up and running. I told them we were headed for FH, so they intend to join us once they get everything worked out." She sucked her lower lip into her mouth and worried it with her teeth. "Do you think we should warn the mayor?"
Zell laughed.
"We'll do it on the way back to Garden," Squall decided, carefully extracting his arm from Selphie. "I'll be right back."
Irvine had, in fact, sent him another missive: "Good on the vanishing act. SE is throwing an absolute fit. Rumour is she plans to dump a small force behind in Balamb, then travel on to Trabia. If TG hasn't already up-rooted, tell them to now. Don't know when I'll be in contact again. Still no sign of RH or SA. Stay safe."
Squall closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't like that both Rinoa and Seifer were missing, but there was little he could do about it. He was tempted to send a message back, but the risk was too great. 'Stay safe yourself, Irvine,' he thought towards the sharpshooter.
After logging out, he traded places with Zell and allowed Selphie to grab his arm again, staring out at the ocean.
"Did Irvy message back?" Selphie wondered.
Squall nodded. "They're headed for Trabia."
Selphie bowed her head. "I'm glad we already told them how to move. I just hope..." She trailed off and tightened her grip on Squall's arm.
"They'll be fine," Squall offered, trying to sound reassuring, but mostly just sounding tired.
Selphie smiled up at him, recognising the attempt for what it was. "I know. Thanks, Squall."
Zell rejoined them, expression grim. "Edea left a force occupying Balamb and left. No one knows where they're headed."
"Irvy said Trabia," Selphie replied. "After that, who knows."
"We should head back to Garden," Squall suggested.
"We need to stop by the mayor's house again, too," Selphie reminded him and Squall nodded.
Their second meeting with the mayor was almost as unpleasant as the first, made easier only because the old man was high on something, which made him a little more agreeable. As long as Trabia Garden stuck to the same rules as Balamb Garden, they could dock nearby and the FH technicians would repair anything that needed repairing.
They met up with Xu, Quistis and Cid in a meeting room down the hall from the Headmaster's office-turned bridge. There, they settled in, Selphie announcing, "Trabia Garden is on their way here. We don't have an ETA, but the mayor assures us there shouldn't be a problem with them docking for any repairs when they arrive."
"Here," Xu offered, passing a small pile of paper across the table to Squall. "The list of students, SeeDs and staff who would like to go ashore to check their messages."
Squall nodded and glanced down at it, saying, "I heard from my contact in Galbadia Garden. Edea was furious to find us gone. She's left a small force behind in Balamb to, I would assume, look out for us, then made for Trabia. Also, her Knight has gone missing."
"Her Knight?" Xu parroted.
"Seifer?" Quistis asked even as Zell muttered, "Good riddance."
"What about Rinoa?" Selphie asked, brow furrowed.
"She's also missing."
There was a long silence at that, during which Squall flipped through the lists and did some quick calculations in his head.
"What?" Quistis hissed. "Rinoa is missing?"
Squall glanced up at her. "Yes." 'Considering how much trouble she's always getting into, are you really surprised?'
"What–? How–? Is Kinneas useless?" Quistis spat.
Squall felt his temper flare, protective over his absent foster brother. "You can't expect him to keep an eye on her all the time, Quistis," he hissed. "Rinoa is a big girl and should be capable of taking care of herself! That she can't is no fault of Irvine's."
"It was Irvine's duty to keep her safe–"
"It was our duty to keep Rinoa safe," Squall returned sharply. "Irvine isn't a SeeD, he was just an ally leant to us for one mission, and he had nothing to do with Rinoa. I asked him to get her somewhere safe, as a favour; he was under no obligation to protect her. If you want to find fault with someone, find fault with me."
Quistis stared at him for a moment before turning her face away.
"Rinoa should know better than to go wandering off on her own in a hostile place, anyway," Selphie added gently. "She knew she was safe with Irvy, and if she ducked him, then she's the one at fault. Right?"
There was an uncomfortable silence at that, during which Squall made some notations on the edges of the sheets Xu had passed him with a pen he'd found in his jacket pocket, before asking, "Do the FH technicians know how long they'll be taking?"
Cid shifted uncomfortably. "They estimate about four days, though they haven't really had a good look at everything yet."
Squall considered that, then made a few more notations and passed the papers back to Xu. "Four groups of six people for each day, for the next three days," he explained to her confused look. "Those with the number one point one next to their name will be the first group to go tomorrow morning, one point two will go when the first group returns and so forth. The second group on day two has seven people, since there was an odd number of people."
Xu looked back over the lists with understanding eyes. "Okay. I'll get the word out, then." She glanced up at him. "Thanks."
Squall shrugged.
"What about when Trabia arrives?" Selphie asked, glancing towards the list curiously. She'd watched as Squall did the quick calculations in his head, only scribbling a couple useless numbers on a corner, and was a little jealous at his ability to do so much math in his head. She could barely manage basic arithmetic without writing the formulas out.
"We'll figure that out then," Squall replied.
Quistis cleared her throat. "I'd like to be added to one of those groups," she announced.
"I don't want you contacting Rinoa," Squall interrupted before Xu could agree.
"She deserves to know what's going on!"
"She was last known to be in a hostile environment," Zell pointed out, straightening in his chair when Quistis shot him a scowl. "You really want to chance Edea or one of her people finding out where Garden is?"
"I'm worried about her!" Quistis snapped. "I'd like to know if she's okay!"
"Any message you send, no matter how cleverly worded or re-routed, can always be traced back to our position," Xu chastised. When Quistis' expression fell, Xu sighed and rested a gentle hand on her best friend's arm. "Quisty, I know you're worried, but it's not worth the threat to Garden."
Quistis swallowed, then peeked up at Squall, who was watching her with hard eyes. "And trusting Irvine is worth the risk?" she wondered, voice sharper than she'd intended. "He's practically a stranger!"
Squall's eyes flicked towards Cid, who winced, then he said, "We've known Irvine since we were kids."
" 'We'?" Quistis repeated.
Squall shrugged. "All of us except Xu. We were at an orphanage together."
"Huh?" Zell's brow furrowed with confusion. "An orphanage?"
"A stone house?" Selphie murmured, recognition in her eyes.
Quistis' eyes widened. "By the ocean! I remember that place!"
"Irvy was there!" Selphie realised. "We always played together! He was my best friend..."
Squall looked pointedly at Cid while the others hunted down long forgotten memories. The man sighed, but nodded and stood, leaving to collect the photo that had sparked Squall's own memories.
"Didn't we... set off fireworks?" Zell wondered.
"On the beach!" Selphie agreed, bouncing in her chair and looking around Squall to Zell. "We got in so much trouble!"
"Someone tattled on us," Quistis added drily, giving the blond brawler a look full of amused exasperation.
Zell flushed and ducked down in his chair. "Sorry..."
Xu snorted in amusement at the byplay. "So you four and this Irvine were at an orphanage together? But you forgot?"
"The GFs," Squall supplied. "Irvine was the only one that remembered."
"So, he told you?" Quistis wondered, frowning. "By why would he only tell you...?"
"Irvine didn't tell me, Cid did," Squall corrected. "He's Matron's husband."
"NORG said he was Sorceress Edea's husband, though!" Zell insisted, jerking up in his chair.
"Your Matron and Sorceress Edea are the same person," Cid offered as he stepped back into the room. He set the photo in the centre of the table, looking troubled. "Squall, are you sure this is wise?"
"We deserve to know who we're fighting," Squall said firmly.
"Sweet Hyne," Quistis breathed. "She is Edea." She drew her hands to her mouth, horrified. "I tried to kill her." Next to her, Xu wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her into a half-hug.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Zell decided, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes.
Selphie wrapped her arms around Squall's right arm and rested her head against his shoulder. "What do we do?" she whispered. "We can't kill Matron."
Cid cleared his throat. "Edea created SeeD to fight against Sorceresses, knowing that you might one day be hunting her. She was prepared for this."
"I don't know if I can do it," Quistis whispered. "I can't hurt her, even if she is prepared. She..." She choked. "She's Matron."
"She fully planned to fire missiles on both Trabia and Balamb Gardens," Squall said coolly. "She threw us in D-District and had me tortured. She's hunting us down right now, uncaring if innocent junior classmen get in the way. That doesn't sound like the Matron I remember."
The other three looked like they'd been slapped, and Selphie drew away from him uncertainly. "Squall..." Selphie whispered, eyes bright with unshed tears.
Squall stood from his chair. "You have until the FH technicians have completed their repairs to decide whether we'll be leaving you behind or not. I won't have any uncertainty when we face the Sorceress, it's too dangerous for anyone there." He allowed a curt nod towards Cid, then stalked from the room, intent on the Training Centre. He felt a desperate need to work off some nervous energy, and there was no better way than facing down T-Rexaurs.
-0-
Squall glanced up curiously from his soup when someone set their tray down across from him. He raised an eyebrow, then intoned, "Headmaster."
Cid smiled tiredly. "May I join you?"
Squall motioned for him to take the empty seat and took a moment to glance around the half-empty cafeteria. He hadn't seen any of the others since their meeting the evening before, though a part of that was due to his own self-exile in his room. "How can I help you, sir?"
"You're being unusually formal," Cid commented, breaking off a chunk of bread to dip it in his own soup.
"You're my superior–"
Cid chuckled and shook his head. "I changed your diapers, Squall. Badly, I might add." He smiled at the grimace that Squall couldn't keep off his face. "Anyway, superiority hasn't mattered much over the past couple days, and it's going to matter even less in the future."
Squall blinked at that. "Sir?"
Cid raised an amused eyebrow.
Squall grimaced again. "Cid," he amended.
Cid nodded. "I will admit that battle tactics and war are not my forte. I'm fine running a school, but I never claimed to have any skills for running an army."
"You want me to lead Garden into battle," Squall said dully. "I'm no leader, Cid; I'm a mercenary. A soldier, if you want."
Cid shook his head. "And I'm the son of a baker, raised on pounding dough, but here I sit, in control of an entire school. Maybe I'm not the best Headmaster in the history of Garden, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm here, doing this job, because there was no one else." He smiled a little sadly. "There's no one else who can lead these people, no one else they respect enough to listen to without pause."
"They don't respect me!" Squall hissed.
"Of course they do." Cid chuckled at Squall's disbelieving look. "Squall, you stormed in here a week ago, a shaking mess with torn clothing and looking like hell, but you took charge of your friends and the SeeDs who found you and directed them to calm down a Garden in chaos. You had a situation beyond any of us in hand faster than any other person I know could have managed, including any number of generals and Headmaster Martine, whose mere presence makes his students stand at attention. Then, from your infirmary bed, you warned us about another threat and saved us all, even though you were still tired and sick and had no more a clue than any of the rest of us."
Squall hid his face behind his bangs, staring down at his soup. "I only did what any other SeeD–"
"You went above and beyond your duties," Cid interrupted gently.
Squall scowled and stirred his soup to give his hands something to do. "Anyone else would have done the same thing if they'd thought of it first," he muttered.
"Perhaps," Cid agreed. "The point is, you thought of it first. You were the one to bring everyone together, to remind them of the bigger picture. And the students, the staff, the SeeDs...they respect you for that." He chuckled. "On my way here, I heard a couple of junior classmen insisting they would try their hands at the gunblade so they could 'be more like SeeD Leonhart'."
Squall ducked his head even further, face unusually warm. 'What the hell? I do not blush! This is...' "I'm not some fucking 'hero'," he hissed to his soup. "And those kids shouldn't be joking about learning the gunblade!"
"They sounded rather serious about it," Cid commented, obviously amused. "In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if we suddenly had an influx of students interested in the gunblade."
Squall's head jerked up, honest disbelief bright in grey-blue eyes. "Why?"
"Because you're their hero," Cid offered. "You saved them, whether it was what 'anyone else would have done' or not, you were the one to do it. That's a fact, Squall, and they admire you for it. The junior classmen, the upper classmen, even a number of SeeDs admire you for your quick thinking and the way you kept your wits about you even at your weakest moment. They respect you, Squall."
Squall ducked his head again, sipping at his soup with sharp, angry gestures.
Cid sighed and shook his head. "I always knew we'd need someone to lead SeeD, eventually, but there wasn't a real need before. Now there is, and you're the only man for the job."
"So find a woman," Squall snapped. Just because he was prepared to take charge didn't mean he wanted to.
Cid shrugged. "You'd prefer to see someone else leading SeeD against Edea?" he asked lightly, eyes sharp with the knowledge of just how far below the belt that was.
Squall froze, spoon halfway to his mouth. 'Let someone else lead Garden? Let one of those useless, pansy-ass, headless chickens–' Squall's head jerked up and he narrowed his eyes at the Headmaster. "You've made your point," he hissed.
Cid smiled. "So you'll take the position?"
'Like I have a choice...' Squall gave a jerky nod and looked back down at his soup.
"Excellent!" Cid stood, carefully balancing his tray in one hand. "I've got a faculty meeting to get to, but if you'll come by the meeting room in a few hours, we can sort out all the official paperwork."
"...Whatever," Squall muttered.
Cid clapped him on the shoulder, then started away, whistling a cheerful tune.
'I should have stayed in my room for another day,' Squall moaned to himself.
He finally finished his food and put his tray up. He started out of the cafeteria, vaguely wondering what to do for the next couple hours when two familiar hands latched onto his arm. He glanced down at Selphie, eyebrow raised.
Selphie glowered at him. "I'm allowed to spend time with you."
Squall shrugged. "Whatever."
Selphie sniffed and changed her hold on his arm so it was a bit more natural. "Come with me to the quad?" she asked hopefully.
"Sure," Squall agreed, not having any better ideas.
Selphie was unusually quiet during the walk, face downturned so Squall couldn't try reading her expression. Her whole posture spoke of a heavy burden and he felt guilty for telling her about Matron, even if they had the right to know.
The quad was crawling with students working to fix the large stage that had taken a lot of damage between the fighting in Garden and their departure from their usual spot in Balamb. "I want to have a Garden Festival," Selphie murmured, catching Squall's attention. "You know that already, but... Everyone's so down and gloomy, I think we could use a little cheer, right?" She looked up at him hopefully.
Squall blinked down at the tired green eyes. "Have you been working out here since the meeting yesterday?" he asked. When she looked away, he sighed. "Selphie..."
"This is important to me," she tried. "This–"
"This shouldn't come above your own health," Squall chastised, shaking his head. "The Garden Festival is not more important than you being well-rested."
Selphie bit her bottom lip, eyes shining with tears. "I... I tried sleeping," she whispered as salty liquid spilled silently down one cheek. "But every time I closed my eyes, I saw Matron throwing that spear of ice at you, and–!" She choked and let go of Squall's arm, only to wrap her arms around him and hide her face against his chest, body shaking with sobs.
Squall awkwardly draped his own arms around her shoulders and sighed, uncomfortable, but unwilling to push her away. 'When did that change?' he wondered, unconsciously tightening his arms around the small SeeD. 'When did I stop pushing people away? When did Selphie worm her way past my defences? Over a decade of pushing people away, and I didn't even realise...'
"Selphie?" a small voice asked. "Are you okay?"
Selphie pulled back and reached up to wipe at her eyes, a watery smile curving her lips. "I'm okay," she promised the boy who had stopped next to them.
A girl not much younger than the two SeeDs stopped next to Selphie, eyeing Squall like a piece of meat, and asked, "Is he your boyfriend, Selph?"
Selphie outright laughed at the disgusted look that flashed over Squall's face for the briefest of moments. "No, no," she insisted. "Squall's, like... my brother," she decided, smiling a bit fondly. "My little brother."
'By thirty-eight days,' Squall muttered in his mind, scowling at the hungry looks the girl next to Selphie was giving him. Considering his usual skills with numbers, he wasn't that surprised to find that he knew Selphie's birthday, though he couldn't remember where he'd seen it.
Selphie covered her smile as it widened. "Becca, if looks could kill, you'd be so dead right now."
The girl grinned and waggled her eyebrows at Squall. "You're hot, wanna go out?"
Squall rubbed tiredly at his scar. "I'm leaving," he announced, turning towards the exit.
Selphie immediately latched onto his arm. "Oh, please won't you stay, Squall? Maybe help a little bit with the cleaning up? For me?"
Anyone else, Squall could have denied without a second thought, but he was too fond of Selphie, and she'd already cried once for him. "For a couple hours," he agreed.
Selphie beamed. "Thank you, Squall!"
Squall pinned her with a sharp look. "But when I leave for my meeting, you are getting some sleep. Even if I have to drag you down to Doctor Kadowaki. Understood?"
Selphie blinked, surprised, then her face lit up with a far more honest smile than her usual beaming grins. "Yeah," she agreed. "I can do that."
'Weird...' Squall shook his head. "What do you want me doing?"
"We've got a beam over here that's really heavy and none of us are quite strong enough to lift it..." Selphie rattled on, leading him towards the stage with a smile on her face.
Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Selphie had made her choice: Squall was important to her, more important than the quasi-mother that she could barely remember. She never wanted to see Squall take another ice spear, and if that meant killing Matron, then that's what she would do.
-0-0-0-
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A/N: I love Selphie so much, can you tell? (And, no, really, Selphie and Squall's relationship is completely platonic in this fic. Just, neither of their love interests are on the scene and Selphie needed someone to hang on to. ^.^")
Didn't mean for Cid to come across as such a sneaky old bastard, but since he's sort of likened to Albus in my mind, I suppose it was inevitable. Hrm. Don't much care for him, really, but I suppose I tore him to shreds plenty in Zyxt. XD
Oh, yeah... For my fellow Americans: Here's hoping you have/had an awesome Thanksgiving!
To everyone else: Hope your Thursday was awesome? XD
~Bats ^.^x
Translations for Irvine's messages:
TG - Trabia Garden
SE - Sorceress Edea
SA - Seifer Almasy
RH - Rinoa Heartilly
Chapters:
1 - Hiding Betrayal ||| 2 - Trying to Please Them All
3 - Every Little Earthquake ||| 4 - Faraway Reflections
5 - Guilty By Association ||| 6 - Clouds Are the Future
7 - Sins of Our Tongue ||| 8 - Every Hero Has a Path, Every Sinner a Future
9 - Gather Your Strength ||| 10 - Forever's Never Too Long
..
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Author: Batsutousai/
batsutousaiBetas: Shara Lunison/
tsuki_no_suzu & Shivani/grazhirChapters: 3 of 10
Rating: T
Pairings: Seifer/Squall, Irvine/Selphie, hints of Quistis/Rinoa
Warnings: AU, minor canon-fuckery, Rinoa bashing, minor Quisty bashing
Summary: How the game could have gone if the writers weren't on crack and so set on everyone being straight.
A/N: I was having a hell of a time fitting Fujin and Raijin anywhere, so I'm just going to say here that they were left behind in Balamb Town with a large number of junior classmen and some other upper classmen. So they're not in Garden.
Every Little Earthquake
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Once they'd manoeuvred Garden out into the ocean, Selphie ordered Squall back to bed, insisting that she could handle the controls for the first four hours. Quietly amused, Squall returned to Cid's room and sat on the bed. He wasn't particularly tired, and he'd eaten upon waking, twenty minutes or so ago, so he took a moment to glance around the room. He saw a line of pictures of what appeared to be a woman and a group of children and, curious, wandered over to look closer. 'Cid's mom and siblings? Or–' His eyes widened.
The picture at the very front had a smiling woman looking rather like Sorceress Edea, sans make-up. At her feet were a gaggle of laughing children who looked so familiar. Especially that one sullen boy standing grumpily with a blond's arm around his shoulder. 'That's...me? And Seifer. And...' His eyes trailed over the photo, taking in familiar smiles and stances. 'Selphie? Quistis and Zell? Irvine... And...Sis...Ellone...'
The door snicked open and a throat cleared. "Ah..." Cid let out a nervous laugh as Squall turned to him, still holding the photo. "I suppose I should have removed those sooner..."
"Wha–?" Squall swallowed against the dryness in his throat and tried again. "What is this? Why are... We're..."
Cid carefully slipped the photo from trembling fingers and settled it back with the other photos. "Why don't you sit down, Squall," he suggested, gently leading the teen to the bed, which he sort of fell into, memories clouding his eyes.
"The orphanage," Squall murmured. "We were all..."
"My wife started the orphanage after the Sorceress War," Cid offered, pulling over a chair for himself. "She – Edea – had been a sorceress since she was very young and she felt as though she were somewhat at fault for the suffering you orphans had gone through at the hands of Adel. Taking in orphans was her way of repenting."
Squall shook his head. "Matron?" he asked. "She's the Sorceress? Your... wife?"
Cid's smile turned bitter. "Yes. She was the one who came up with SeeD. A group of well-trained fighters meant to destroy any Sorceresses who would threaten the world. Even if that Sorceress is her."
Squall swallowed and focussed on the man in front of him. "SeeD was created to combat the Sorceresses?"
"Yes."
"But... if Edea, if Matron knew that, why..." Squall frowned, clenching his hands. "In D-District, she wanted to know what SeeD was for."
Cid frowned. "Perhaps she has forgotten because of the madness." He sighed. "Perhaps it's for the best."
Squall's eyes glanced back towards the picture of himself and the others. "Why... I don't...remember..." he tried to explain, for once cursing his own social inadequacies.
"There is...some truth, to the claims of GFs erasing memories," Cid admitted, wincing when Squall shot him a heated glare. "I had to!" he insisted. "There was no way any of you could face a sorceress without outside assistance, and against the destruction of the world, the loss of a few memories..."
Squall looked away, understanding that rationale even as he hated it. A memory came to him then, of a pained smile under a broad hat. "Galbadia Garden doesn't use GFs," he realised. 'Irvine recognised us. And we... Fuck, Irvine, I'm sorry...'
"No, they don't," Cid agreed. "It's something Martine and I often argue about. Neither does Trabia, for that matter, though they, at least, make them available to their students."
Squall nodded and closed his eyes, suddenly tired. "Did you need help moving out?" he asked in a monotone.
"Hm? Oh!" Cid let out a nervous laugh and shook his head. "No, I'll be fine on my own. And Doctor Kadowaki would have my head if I had you helping; I know you're still not all better. Why don't you get some sleep? I can move all of this stuff later," he said, standing and moving the chair back to its spot against the wall.
Silently agreeing, Squall kicked his boots off and curled up on the bed.
"Squall, for what it's worth, I'm sorry," Cid offered before slipping from the room.
Squall pressed his eyes together tightly, like a child trying to ignore the monster under the bed. 'You're sorry? It's too late for sorry, Cid. This... doesn't change anything. Edea is our enemy, now, and I'll protect everyone. Whether she raised us or not, I'll fight her. I must.'
He turned over and glanced at the photo across the room. 'Should I tell the others? Should I tell them we're fighting Matron? Would it... hurt them? Would it make them pause at the wrong moment? Would telling them... get them killed?' He sighed. 'Why does this have to be my choice? Why do I have to decide whether to break their hearts now or later?
'What if we face her again and one of them recognises her? Can I take that chance? Can I allow the possibility that the memories will return at the wrong moment? Can I let them face her without knowing who they're working to kill? They'll hate me if I tell them after, but they might desert me if I tell them before...
'Who am I kidding? Desert me, then. I won't lie to them.' Squall closed his eyes. 'I'll tell them in FH. That should give them plenty of opportunity to sort out their feelings. Without failing at their duties.'
It took them about fifteen hours to reach FH, and with so much rest and a couple good meals under his belt, Squall finally felt one hundred percent again. He'd stopped by the infirmary on his way to join the party going ashore and Doctor Kadowaki had cleared him with a smile.
"FH is a pacifistic community," Xu informed them once they'd all gathered by the second floor deck, which had been lined up with a crane for ease of travelling between the city and Garden. "Because of that, we'll be leaving all obvious weaponry on Garden, rather than trying to take it into the city."
"Where are we leaving our weapons?" Quistis asked as she unclipped her whip.
Xu directed them to a safety locker that had been attached next to the inner door and Quistis, Selphie and Squall slipped their weapons inside. As Xu's daggers and Zell's fists weren't obvious weapons, neither of them had to leave anything behind. However, being SeeDs, the three who'd checked their weapons also wore concealed knives and, in Quistis' case, a small hand pistol, which they left in place.
At Xu's silent direction, Squall sighed and took the lead out onto the deck. A small crowd of people stood above them, uncertain. Squall held out his hands to show he was unarmed and called, "We're here for peaceful negotiation. May we come ashore?"
The group on the crane traded looks, then one called, "Yeah! Come on up!"
The five SeeDs scaled the crane and jumped lightly up in front of the group from FH. "What can we do for you folks?" a different man asked, tone slightly hostile.
"We've only just discovered Garden to be mobile and it's a bit sluggish, not to mention the difficulty of determining what all the controls are for," Squall explained in an even tone. "We're hoping to barter for the service of your technicians in getting everything updated."
There was a surprised silence at that announcement. Eventually, one of the men grinned and stepped forward, hand held out for a handshake. "Jacob," he offered.
Squall blinked blankly in surprise for a moment. Selphie finally shoved at his back and he raised his own hand to complete the greeting. "Squall," he allowed, still confused.
Jacob nodded and motioned for someone in the back of the crowd to run ahead. "Not often we get peaceful mercenaries in these parts," he commented, earning him a chorus of laughter from behind him. "We'll send you on to the mayor to do your bartering, but be sure to stop by the pub before you leave, eh? Trade some stories over a couple beers."
Squall just blinked a few more times. 'What the hell?'
"It would be our pleasure," Xu intervened, saving Squall from the friendly crowd. "Where can we find the mayor?"
"Just go straight down, miss. His house is right in the middle, can't miss it," Jacob offered, still grinning at Squall's blank look.
The SeeDs slipped past the crowd and made their way along the crane, Xu taking the lead with an amused smile.
Zell knocked shoulders with Squall, grinning. "That was kind of awesome, man. You made a new friend!"
Squall shot him a frown.
"Oh, come on! Lighten up, Squall!"
Selphie giggled and grabbed on to Squall's arm, inserting herself between the two men. "What's that? It sounds like Zell wants to train with you, Squall; his fists to your gunblade."
Zell quickly fell back out of sight of the taller teen, Quistis and Xu laughing at his reaction.
Squall had started to develop a foreign fondness for the small young woman attached to his arm, and he wasn't sure if it was because he remembered snippets of her as an excitable child, or because he had spent the last fifteen hours at the helm of Garden with her, cheered by her constant smiles and bad jokes. Whichever it was, he actually didn't mind her hanging off his arm and didn't bother making her let go like he would have anyone else. Instead, he patted her hand in thanks for her defence and stayed silent as the other four commented on the view, which really was quite stunning.
The mayor's house was, in fact, hard to miss. He was a much less cheerful man than his people, however, not even waiting for them to sit before snapping, "I've been told you're looking to barter for our services?"
"We are," Xu agreed, deciding to not make Squall play spokesperson for once. "We can pay you, or trade you any skills our students might–"
"The only thing I want from your kind is for you to stay out of my city," the mayor snapped. "You lot stay in Garden and I'll consider that a fair trade for our services. Agreed?"
Xu blinked, thrown, then looked back at Squall.
Squall fought the urge to sigh. "We should be able to do that," he agreed. "We don't have access to the messaging system and some of our people wanted to get in contact with their families. Is there a chance you would allow them to come ashore and use a public terminal, or..."
The mayor scowled. "Family?" he muttered.
"Darling, perhaps we can allow them that much," the woman at the mayor's elbow suggested quietly. "They can use the terminal at the inn."
"Only if they leave their weapons on your ship!" the mayor snapped.
"Agreed."
"Good. Now get out of my house!"
The SeeDs obediently left, heading back towards the crane. "That went well," Xu commented drily.
Selphie took hold of Squall's arm again. "I should check and see if Trabia Garden's responded yet."
Squall nodded, interested to see if Irvine had messaged him again with further news. "We'll drop by the inn. Quistis? Zell? Xu?"
"Sure, I'll come with you two," Zell said, hands in his pockets.
Quistis shook her head. "I don't have anyone who might message me."
"Nor do I," Xu agreed. "We'll head back to Garden and let Cid know that the repairs are a go. As well as telling everyone to remain in Garden."
Squall nodded, eyes thoughtful. "Once we're back, we can work out a rotation for those who want to check their messages," he decided. "I'd like to keep the number of people in town to a minimum, but I don't want any students out on their own."
"Sounds good. I'll see if I can't compile a list by the time you return," Xu agreed as they reached the crossroad. "Good luck, and try not to cause any trouble?" She looked pointedly at Zell.
Zell grinned. "I'll be on my best behaviour!"
"We'll watch him," Squall promised. At his elbow, Selphie nodded vigorously.
Quistis and Xu waved as they made their way up the crane, leaving the other three to head into town. The people they met in the streets were cheerful and friendly, but the three refused to let themselves get waylaid. They reached the inn soon enough and the two men stepped back to let Selphie use the terminal in peace.
"How long do you think the repairs will take?" Zell wondered, looking out the small window towards the ocean past the tracks that served as a street in this city.
Squall shrugged. "Hopefully no more than a couple days. I don't want to chance Galbadia Garden finding us here."
Zell grimaced. "Yeah. I don't think that mayor would appreciate it if we fought within sight of his house, right?"
'That's an understatement,' Squall thought.
Selphie skipped over to them and latched on to Squall's arm again. "Trabia's last message said they were working on getting their system up and running. I told them we were headed for FH, so they intend to join us once they get everything worked out." She sucked her lower lip into her mouth and worried it with her teeth. "Do you think we should warn the mayor?"
Zell laughed.
"We'll do it on the way back to Garden," Squall decided, carefully extracting his arm from Selphie. "I'll be right back."
Irvine had, in fact, sent him another missive: "Good on the vanishing act. SE is throwing an absolute fit. Rumour is she plans to dump a small force behind in Balamb, then travel on to Trabia. If TG hasn't already up-rooted, tell them to now. Don't know when I'll be in contact again. Still no sign of RH or SA. Stay safe."
Squall closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't like that both Rinoa and Seifer were missing, but there was little he could do about it. He was tempted to send a message back, but the risk was too great. 'Stay safe yourself, Irvine,' he thought towards the sharpshooter.
After logging out, he traded places with Zell and allowed Selphie to grab his arm again, staring out at the ocean.
"Did Irvy message back?" Selphie wondered.
Squall nodded. "They're headed for Trabia."
Selphie bowed her head. "I'm glad we already told them how to move. I just hope..." She trailed off and tightened her grip on Squall's arm.
"They'll be fine," Squall offered, trying to sound reassuring, but mostly just sounding tired.
Selphie smiled up at him, recognising the attempt for what it was. "I know. Thanks, Squall."
Zell rejoined them, expression grim. "Edea left a force occupying Balamb and left. No one knows where they're headed."
"Irvy said Trabia," Selphie replied. "After that, who knows."
"We should head back to Garden," Squall suggested.
"We need to stop by the mayor's house again, too," Selphie reminded him and Squall nodded.
Their second meeting with the mayor was almost as unpleasant as the first, made easier only because the old man was high on something, which made him a little more agreeable. As long as Trabia Garden stuck to the same rules as Balamb Garden, they could dock nearby and the FH technicians would repair anything that needed repairing.
They met up with Xu, Quistis and Cid in a meeting room down the hall from the Headmaster's office-turned bridge. There, they settled in, Selphie announcing, "Trabia Garden is on their way here. We don't have an ETA, but the mayor assures us there shouldn't be a problem with them docking for any repairs when they arrive."
"Here," Xu offered, passing a small pile of paper across the table to Squall. "The list of students, SeeDs and staff who would like to go ashore to check their messages."
Squall nodded and glanced down at it, saying, "I heard from my contact in Galbadia Garden. Edea was furious to find us gone. She's left a small force behind in Balamb to, I would assume, look out for us, then made for Trabia. Also, her Knight has gone missing."
"Her Knight?" Xu parroted.
"Seifer?" Quistis asked even as Zell muttered, "Good riddance."
"What about Rinoa?" Selphie asked, brow furrowed.
"She's also missing."
There was a long silence at that, during which Squall flipped through the lists and did some quick calculations in his head.
"What?" Quistis hissed. "Rinoa is missing?"
Squall glanced up at her. "Yes." 'Considering how much trouble she's always getting into, are you really surprised?'
"What–? How–? Is Kinneas useless?" Quistis spat.
Squall felt his temper flare, protective over his absent foster brother. "You can't expect him to keep an eye on her all the time, Quistis," he hissed. "Rinoa is a big girl and should be capable of taking care of herself! That she can't is no fault of Irvine's."
"It was Irvine's duty to keep her safe–"
"It was our duty to keep Rinoa safe," Squall returned sharply. "Irvine isn't a SeeD, he was just an ally leant to us for one mission, and he had nothing to do with Rinoa. I asked him to get her somewhere safe, as a favour; he was under no obligation to protect her. If you want to find fault with someone, find fault with me."
Quistis stared at him for a moment before turning her face away.
"Rinoa should know better than to go wandering off on her own in a hostile place, anyway," Selphie added gently. "She knew she was safe with Irvy, and if she ducked him, then she's the one at fault. Right?"
There was an uncomfortable silence at that, during which Squall made some notations on the edges of the sheets Xu had passed him with a pen he'd found in his jacket pocket, before asking, "Do the FH technicians know how long they'll be taking?"
Cid shifted uncomfortably. "They estimate about four days, though they haven't really had a good look at everything yet."
Squall considered that, then made a few more notations and passed the papers back to Xu. "Four groups of six people for each day, for the next three days," he explained to her confused look. "Those with the number one point one next to their name will be the first group to go tomorrow morning, one point two will go when the first group returns and so forth. The second group on day two has seven people, since there was an odd number of people."
Xu looked back over the lists with understanding eyes. "Okay. I'll get the word out, then." She glanced up at him. "Thanks."
Squall shrugged.
"What about when Trabia arrives?" Selphie asked, glancing towards the list curiously. She'd watched as Squall did the quick calculations in his head, only scribbling a couple useless numbers on a corner, and was a little jealous at his ability to do so much math in his head. She could barely manage basic arithmetic without writing the formulas out.
"We'll figure that out then," Squall replied.
Quistis cleared her throat. "I'd like to be added to one of those groups," she announced.
"I don't want you contacting Rinoa," Squall interrupted before Xu could agree.
"She deserves to know what's going on!"
"She was last known to be in a hostile environment," Zell pointed out, straightening in his chair when Quistis shot him a scowl. "You really want to chance Edea or one of her people finding out where Garden is?"
"I'm worried about her!" Quistis snapped. "I'd like to know if she's okay!"
"Any message you send, no matter how cleverly worded or re-routed, can always be traced back to our position," Xu chastised. When Quistis' expression fell, Xu sighed and rested a gentle hand on her best friend's arm. "Quisty, I know you're worried, but it's not worth the threat to Garden."
Quistis swallowed, then peeked up at Squall, who was watching her with hard eyes. "And trusting Irvine is worth the risk?" she wondered, voice sharper than she'd intended. "He's practically a stranger!"
Squall's eyes flicked towards Cid, who winced, then he said, "We've known Irvine since we were kids."
" 'We'?" Quistis repeated.
Squall shrugged. "All of us except Xu. We were at an orphanage together."
"Huh?" Zell's brow furrowed with confusion. "An orphanage?"
"A stone house?" Selphie murmured, recognition in her eyes.
Quistis' eyes widened. "By the ocean! I remember that place!"
"Irvy was there!" Selphie realised. "We always played together! He was my best friend..."
Squall looked pointedly at Cid while the others hunted down long forgotten memories. The man sighed, but nodded and stood, leaving to collect the photo that had sparked Squall's own memories.
"Didn't we... set off fireworks?" Zell wondered.
"On the beach!" Selphie agreed, bouncing in her chair and looking around Squall to Zell. "We got in so much trouble!"
"Someone tattled on us," Quistis added drily, giving the blond brawler a look full of amused exasperation.
Zell flushed and ducked down in his chair. "Sorry..."
Xu snorted in amusement at the byplay. "So you four and this Irvine were at an orphanage together? But you forgot?"
"The GFs," Squall supplied. "Irvine was the only one that remembered."
"So, he told you?" Quistis wondered, frowning. "By why would he only tell you...?"
"Irvine didn't tell me, Cid did," Squall corrected. "He's Matron's husband."
"NORG said he was Sorceress Edea's husband, though!" Zell insisted, jerking up in his chair.
"Your Matron and Sorceress Edea are the same person," Cid offered as he stepped back into the room. He set the photo in the centre of the table, looking troubled. "Squall, are you sure this is wise?"
"We deserve to know who we're fighting," Squall said firmly.
"Sweet Hyne," Quistis breathed. "She is Edea." She drew her hands to her mouth, horrified. "I tried to kill her." Next to her, Xu wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her into a half-hug.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Zell decided, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes.
Selphie wrapped her arms around Squall's right arm and rested her head against his shoulder. "What do we do?" she whispered. "We can't kill Matron."
Cid cleared his throat. "Edea created SeeD to fight against Sorceresses, knowing that you might one day be hunting her. She was prepared for this."
"I don't know if I can do it," Quistis whispered. "I can't hurt her, even if she is prepared. She..." She choked. "She's Matron."
"She fully planned to fire missiles on both Trabia and Balamb Gardens," Squall said coolly. "She threw us in D-District and had me tortured. She's hunting us down right now, uncaring if innocent junior classmen get in the way. That doesn't sound like the Matron I remember."
The other three looked like they'd been slapped, and Selphie drew away from him uncertainly. "Squall..." Selphie whispered, eyes bright with unshed tears.
Squall stood from his chair. "You have until the FH technicians have completed their repairs to decide whether we'll be leaving you behind or not. I won't have any uncertainty when we face the Sorceress, it's too dangerous for anyone there." He allowed a curt nod towards Cid, then stalked from the room, intent on the Training Centre. He felt a desperate need to work off some nervous energy, and there was no better way than facing down T-Rexaurs.
Squall glanced up curiously from his soup when someone set their tray down across from him. He raised an eyebrow, then intoned, "Headmaster."
Cid smiled tiredly. "May I join you?"
Squall motioned for him to take the empty seat and took a moment to glance around the half-empty cafeteria. He hadn't seen any of the others since their meeting the evening before, though a part of that was due to his own self-exile in his room. "How can I help you, sir?"
"You're being unusually formal," Cid commented, breaking off a chunk of bread to dip it in his own soup.
"You're my superior–"
Cid chuckled and shook his head. "I changed your diapers, Squall. Badly, I might add." He smiled at the grimace that Squall couldn't keep off his face. "Anyway, superiority hasn't mattered much over the past couple days, and it's going to matter even less in the future."
Squall blinked at that. "Sir?"
Cid raised an amused eyebrow.
Squall grimaced again. "Cid," he amended.
Cid nodded. "I will admit that battle tactics and war are not my forte. I'm fine running a school, but I never claimed to have any skills for running an army."
"You want me to lead Garden into battle," Squall said dully. "I'm no leader, Cid; I'm a mercenary. A soldier, if you want."
Cid shook his head. "And I'm the son of a baker, raised on pounding dough, but here I sit, in control of an entire school. Maybe I'm not the best Headmaster in the history of Garden, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm here, doing this job, because there was no one else." He smiled a little sadly. "There's no one else who can lead these people, no one else they respect enough to listen to without pause."
"They don't respect me!" Squall hissed.
"Of course they do." Cid chuckled at Squall's disbelieving look. "Squall, you stormed in here a week ago, a shaking mess with torn clothing and looking like hell, but you took charge of your friends and the SeeDs who found you and directed them to calm down a Garden in chaos. You had a situation beyond any of us in hand faster than any other person I know could have managed, including any number of generals and Headmaster Martine, whose mere presence makes his students stand at attention. Then, from your infirmary bed, you warned us about another threat and saved us all, even though you were still tired and sick and had no more a clue than any of the rest of us."
Squall hid his face behind his bangs, staring down at his soup. "I only did what any other SeeD–"
"You went above and beyond your duties," Cid interrupted gently.
Squall scowled and stirred his soup to give his hands something to do. "Anyone else would have done the same thing if they'd thought of it first," he muttered.
"Perhaps," Cid agreed. "The point is, you thought of it first. You were the one to bring everyone together, to remind them of the bigger picture. And the students, the staff, the SeeDs...they respect you for that." He chuckled. "On my way here, I heard a couple of junior classmen insisting they would try their hands at the gunblade so they could 'be more like SeeD Leonhart'."
Squall ducked his head even further, face unusually warm. 'What the hell? I do not blush! This is...' "I'm not some fucking 'hero'," he hissed to his soup. "And those kids shouldn't be joking about learning the gunblade!"
"They sounded rather serious about it," Cid commented, obviously amused. "In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if we suddenly had an influx of students interested in the gunblade."
Squall's head jerked up, honest disbelief bright in grey-blue eyes. "Why?"
"Because you're their hero," Cid offered. "You saved them, whether it was what 'anyone else would have done' or not, you were the one to do it. That's a fact, Squall, and they admire you for it. The junior classmen, the upper classmen, even a number of SeeDs admire you for your quick thinking and the way you kept your wits about you even at your weakest moment. They respect you, Squall."
Squall ducked his head again, sipping at his soup with sharp, angry gestures.
Cid sighed and shook his head. "I always knew we'd need someone to lead SeeD, eventually, but there wasn't a real need before. Now there is, and you're the only man for the job."
"So find a woman," Squall snapped. Just because he was prepared to take charge didn't mean he wanted to.
Cid shrugged. "You'd prefer to see someone else leading SeeD against Edea?" he asked lightly, eyes sharp with the knowledge of just how far below the belt that was.
Squall froze, spoon halfway to his mouth. 'Let someone else lead Garden? Let one of those useless, pansy-ass, headless chickens–' Squall's head jerked up and he narrowed his eyes at the Headmaster. "You've made your point," he hissed.
Cid smiled. "So you'll take the position?"
'Like I have a choice...' Squall gave a jerky nod and looked back down at his soup.
"Excellent!" Cid stood, carefully balancing his tray in one hand. "I've got a faculty meeting to get to, but if you'll come by the meeting room in a few hours, we can sort out all the official paperwork."
"...Whatever," Squall muttered.
Cid clapped him on the shoulder, then started away, whistling a cheerful tune.
'I should have stayed in my room for another day,' Squall moaned to himself.
He finally finished his food and put his tray up. He started out of the cafeteria, vaguely wondering what to do for the next couple hours when two familiar hands latched onto his arm. He glanced down at Selphie, eyebrow raised.
Selphie glowered at him. "I'm allowed to spend time with you."
Squall shrugged. "Whatever."
Selphie sniffed and changed her hold on his arm so it was a bit more natural. "Come with me to the quad?" she asked hopefully.
"Sure," Squall agreed, not having any better ideas.
Selphie was unusually quiet during the walk, face downturned so Squall couldn't try reading her expression. Her whole posture spoke of a heavy burden and he felt guilty for telling her about Matron, even if they had the right to know.
The quad was crawling with students working to fix the large stage that had taken a lot of damage between the fighting in Garden and their departure from their usual spot in Balamb. "I want to have a Garden Festival," Selphie murmured, catching Squall's attention. "You know that already, but... Everyone's so down and gloomy, I think we could use a little cheer, right?" She looked up at him hopefully.
Squall blinked down at the tired green eyes. "Have you been working out here since the meeting yesterday?" he asked. When she looked away, he sighed. "Selphie..."
"This is important to me," she tried. "This–"
"This shouldn't come above your own health," Squall chastised, shaking his head. "The Garden Festival is not more important than you being well-rested."
Selphie bit her bottom lip, eyes shining with tears. "I... I tried sleeping," she whispered as salty liquid spilled silently down one cheek. "But every time I closed my eyes, I saw Matron throwing that spear of ice at you, and–!" She choked and let go of Squall's arm, only to wrap her arms around him and hide her face against his chest, body shaking with sobs.
Squall awkwardly draped his own arms around her shoulders and sighed, uncomfortable, but unwilling to push her away. 'When did that change?' he wondered, unconsciously tightening his arms around the small SeeD. 'When did I stop pushing people away? When did Selphie worm her way past my defences? Over a decade of pushing people away, and I didn't even realise...'
"Selphie?" a small voice asked. "Are you okay?"
Selphie pulled back and reached up to wipe at her eyes, a watery smile curving her lips. "I'm okay," she promised the boy who had stopped next to them.
A girl not much younger than the two SeeDs stopped next to Selphie, eyeing Squall like a piece of meat, and asked, "Is he your boyfriend, Selph?"
Selphie outright laughed at the disgusted look that flashed over Squall's face for the briefest of moments. "No, no," she insisted. "Squall's, like... my brother," she decided, smiling a bit fondly. "My little brother."
'By thirty-eight days,' Squall muttered in his mind, scowling at the hungry looks the girl next to Selphie was giving him. Considering his usual skills with numbers, he wasn't that surprised to find that he knew Selphie's birthday, though he couldn't remember where he'd seen it.
Selphie covered her smile as it widened. "Becca, if looks could kill, you'd be so dead right now."
The girl grinned and waggled her eyebrows at Squall. "You're hot, wanna go out?"
Squall rubbed tiredly at his scar. "I'm leaving," he announced, turning towards the exit.
Selphie immediately latched onto his arm. "Oh, please won't you stay, Squall? Maybe help a little bit with the cleaning up? For me?"
Anyone else, Squall could have denied without a second thought, but he was too fond of Selphie, and she'd already cried once for him. "For a couple hours," he agreed.
Selphie beamed. "Thank you, Squall!"
Squall pinned her with a sharp look. "But when I leave for my meeting, you are getting some sleep. Even if I have to drag you down to Doctor Kadowaki. Understood?"
Selphie blinked, surprised, then her face lit up with a far more honest smile than her usual beaming grins. "Yeah," she agreed. "I can do that."
'Weird...' Squall shook his head. "What do you want me doing?"
"We've got a beam over here that's really heavy and none of us are quite strong enough to lift it..." Selphie rattled on, leading him towards the stage with a smile on her face.
Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Selphie had made her choice: Squall was important to her, more important than the quasi-mother that she could barely remember. She never wanted to see Squall take another ice spear, and if that meant killing Matron, then that's what she would do.
-0-0-0-
A/N: I love Selphie so much, can you tell? (And, no, really, Selphie and Squall's relationship is completely platonic in this fic. Just, neither of their love interests are on the scene and Selphie needed someone to hang on to. ^.^")
Didn't mean for Cid to come across as such a sneaky old bastard, but since he's sort of likened to Albus in my mind, I suppose it was inevitable. Hrm. Don't much care for him, really, but I suppose I tore him to shreds plenty in Zyxt. XD
Oh, yeah... For my fellow Americans: Here's hoping you have/had an awesome Thanksgiving!
To everyone else: Hope your Thursday was awesome? XD
~Bats ^.^x
Translations for Irvine's messages:
TG - Trabia Garden
SE - Sorceress Edea
SA - Seifer Almasy
RH - Rinoa Heartilly
1 - Hiding Betrayal ||| 2 - Trying to Please Them All
5 - Guilty By Association ||| 6 - Clouds Are the Future
7 - Sins of Our Tongue ||| 8 - Every Hero Has a Path, Every Sinner a Future
9 - Gather Your Strength ||| 10 - Forever's Never Too Long
..
