batsutousai: (HP-motherseyes-Harry)
[personal profile] batsutousai
Title: Wand and Dagger
Author: [livejournal.com profile] batsutousai
Beta: [livejournal.com profile] tsuki_no_suzu
Rating: PG-13?
Pairings: undecided, but most likely some form of SLASH
Warnings: OCs, OoC
Summary: The war is coming too quickly for comfort and Harry wonders if it isn't time for him to find a school that will actually teach him what he needs to learn to defeat Voldemort.

Disclaim Her: I wonder if it would be cheating to count this chapter as part of my NaNo word count?


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Chapter Five – The Patronus
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The rest of August went much the same as the first week had. Harry spent his free time getting to know his new friends and trading owls with Hermione and Neville. Ren kept trying to teach Harry Dark spells – and mostly succeeding, as he seemed to know what sort of spells a Light wizard would appreciate – while Jacob cheerfully teased Harry every few days about his apparent phobia of naked women – Harry and Arcturus had taken to cursing him silent when one of them got too embarrassed.

Throughout all of it, Ron hadn't gotten his head out of his arse yet, much to Harry's sorrow, and Dumbledore hadn't written him back yet with a memory of Tom Riddle. (Not that Harry minded much, since he hadn't made finding a spell to view the memories much of a priority.) Dumbledore had cleverly crafted an excuse about Harry being abroad for training in the war against Voldemort – for his own safety – to keep the public from wondering about his disappearance once school started back up. He'd briefly penned a letter to Harry, telling him that he would be sending the boy an occasional postcard from various places that he was to write a bit on and send to his friends. Dumbledore also intended to have some gifts sent from those places for his friends' birthdays and Christmas. (So, if Harry wanted to send them something a bit more personal, Dumbledore suggested he do it discreetly.)

Harry was managing about four laps in Physical Combat, and Gaur was gleefully dangling the promise of learning to fight with their chosen weapons once they were all averaging six laps. (Kathy had haughtily commented that she didn't need him to teach her to use a wand. Gaur had grinned nastily in response and said, "Well, Miss Stuck-up, I suppose you'll need to find another weapon, then, won't you? Unless you've forgotten the name of this class?")

Defensive Magics was, as always, proving to be Harry's forte – though Runes and Rituals was coming in as a surprising second – and he often found himself on the receiving end of Ambrosi's demonstrations, since his shield was the strongest and could always hold up. He was, constantly, paired with Kathy during the time Ambrosi gave them to work in pairs, and the two spent the time shooting deadlier and deadlier curses at each other. (Harry actually learned more Dark curses in the library after that class, since he liked to check and see what he'd almost been hit with, in the hopes of knowing how to defend against it in the future.)

Harry loved Runes and Rituals. He had easily surpassed Kathy, much to his glee, and often spent a few quiet hours with Rai on the weekends studying the subject, as they could understand each other. Harry, oddly, seemed to have a natural talent for Runes, like he had for flying, and when he'd mentioned it to Hermione in passing, she replied that Babbling, the Ancient Runes professor at Hogwarts, had said that people with a natural affinity towards Runes weren't really all that rare, though most never realised their affinity, as Runes seemed to be such a dry topic.

Harry's own studies about the curiosity, taught him that Rune Masters, as those with a natural affinity were often called, came into their talent because someone in their distant past had had an accident with a Rune Ward, which had since been made illegal. Since so much of the wizarding world was related, practically anyone with pureblooded great-grandparents on at least one side had the gift, though it was in varying degrees, depending on how many previous family members had been Rune Masters. Since Harry, himself, didn't have any idea about his family's past, he wasn't sure where that put him on the spectrum, but it was clearly above Kathy, which was good enough for him.

Healing was as annoying as the first day had shown it to be. Doe enjoyed briefly teaching them spells, then cursing them and leaving them to fix it themselves. He comment that, "It makes you more likely to learn and remember the lesson," held true, as Harry was quite sure he would never find himself unable to remember how to splint a broken leg or which potion was required to stop the Tumour Curse.

Light Magics was a lot of the offensive side of what Harry knew as Defence Against the Dark Arts, with some added Charms and Transfiguration spells thrown in. Because it was mostly going over what Harry considered to be the basics, it was probably his least favourite class, especially since Kathy wasn't in it to spar with. (As much as Harry hated to admit it, the pureblood girl was what made Defensive Magics fun.)

Probably the best class for Light Magics happened on the fourth of September. Harry had been daydreaming a bit, having already completed the assignment Gygax set for the first years while she worked with the upper years, when Susan Fawcett, the only third year in the class, asked, "Professor Gygax, is there any chance of learning the Patronus Charm? One of my friends at Hogwarts said that a lot of them learned it last year."

Gygax looked surprised, while the rest of the class looked up from their assignments, curious. "I wasn't aware it was on the Hogwarts' curriculum."

"It's not," Susan replied, shaking her head. "Harry Potter taught it in his illegal group."

"A fifth year?" Gygax murmured, surprised. "Impressive. Well, I'm afraid, Miss Fawcett, that I am unable to cast the spell myself, and none of the other staff members can, either."

"Really?" Harry asked, sitting up. "Why not?"

Gygax eyed him darkly. "Most of the staff, as most of you will have noticed by now, is Dark. Dark wizards and witches have always had difficulty casting spells that require such Light feelings, so they usually don't try."

"Then how do they manage with the dementors?" Harry inquired, head tilted to one side curiously. "Erm, sorry, Professor. If you don't mind?"

Gygax's lips twitched with a smile. "There are Dark spells which can keep a dementor at bay, though they are never as useful as the Patronus Charm. Occlumency, I have been told, also helps, though I, myself, am no master of the art."

Arcturus cleared his throat. "Harry, didn't you go to Potter's club sometimes?"

Harry nodded, shrinking in his seat a bit when everyone looked at him. "Well, yeah."

"Did you learn the Patronus?" Susan demanded, leaning forward in her chair. "Could you teach it to us?"

Harry blinked. "Well, yeah. If Professor Gygax doesn't mind?"

Gygax nodded. "Please. I would like to try learning myself."

Harry swallowed, about ten times more nervous with the thought that he'd be teaching his teacher too. "Uhm, well, Potter told us that the key to creating a Patronus is thinking a really, really happy thought. Say, something that you thought, at the time, 'I'm going to treasure this moment for the rest of my life.' You think of that, and you just cast your Patronus."

"It sounds so simple," Ren complained, propping his cheek up on his fist.

"The hardest part is performing it under pressure," Harry replied. "Well, and finding a memory good enough. It took me a while to get the spell, since I couldn't think of anything happy enough to hold. Uhm... Oh! If you get a mist, that's still pretty good. But what you really want is a corporeal shape. It usually takes the form of some sort of animal."

"Ooh... Can we see yours?" Pearl asked.

"Sure," Harry agreed. "Expecto Patronum!"

A thick mist slid from where his wand was hidden up his sleeve. Harry frowned at it while the rest of the class 'ooh'ed and 'ah'ed over it.

"What's wrong, Harry?" Arcturus asked, noticing his frown.

Harry shook his head and pulled out his wand, then cast the spell properly. When he still only got a mist, he gave his wand a disgusted look and shook it.

"Mr Barak?" Gygax asked. "Is there a problem?"

Harry set his wand on his desk and glared at it briefly. "Yeah, I usually get more than mist, is all. It's usually a st-horse," he corrected, recalling that Harry Potter was fairly well known at Hogwarts for his Patronus form, and two members of his class had gone there.

Gygax eyed the dissipating mist curiously. "So this mist is new?"

Harry nodded.

Gygax hummed a bit, then shrugged. "Well, let's see how many can learn it anyway."

Harry eyed his wand distrustfully for a moment, then picked it up and helped everyone with the spell. When, by the end of class, everyone could cast it, Harry felt better about the class, even if his wand was messing up.

-0-


Harry finished his homework quickly that weekend, then made for the library. After an hour, he managed to find a book about Patroni and sat down to read it.

'The Patronus Spell is one used to scare away creatures of the Dark, especially dementors. The spell is cast by envisioning a truly happy moment in the caster's life and forcing that happiness into the wand. A proficient caster may be able to create a corporeal Patronus, meaning a Patronus with form.
'The significance of the Patronus' form has been debated for centuries, as it is different between people and families. Occasionally, one or two casters who are friends will have the same Patronus, with no clear reason.
'Recent studies by the Department of Mysteries suggest that the form a Patronus takes is that of what a person believes they are protected by, or what they feel they must protect. Because a Patronus is never a human form, the form is always the animal that best represents the protector/protected. In the rare cases this can be verified in, the animal is always the Animagus form of the person in question.
'However, a Patronus' form is not always set in stone. If the caster goes through a trauma where-in the person they feel they need to protect or who protects them changes, the Patronus will change to reflect that. Sometimes, the Patronus floats for a while in between forms, uncertain, as the caster is, what it should be. Those who have experienced this phenomena have said that simply sitting down and thinking about their priorities has helped their Patronus choose its proper form again.'


Harry let the book fall closed thoughtfully. Recent trauma? Check! Formless Patronus? Check! Harry looked down at the book. "Think about my priorities? Yeah, that might help. I guess." He got up and put the book away, then went back to his room, where he locked the door and tossed himself on his bed.

His old form had been a stag. At the time, he'd just found out about his father's form and the other three Marauders. He'd also heard his mother's dying words, and his father ordering her to run, saying he'd hold Voldemort off.

James hadn't, of course, but his actions had been the epitome of Gryffindor bravery, something Harry had striven for since he'd been Sorted. So his Patronus had reflected that bravery. It had taken the form of his father's Animagus form, the father he could only remember the dying words of. The father who had died to give Lily and Harry the chance to escape.

Harry supposed that, yes, as a third year, that would have been what made him feel safe. And even after fourth year and the TriWizard Tournament, his father's ghost and his dying bravery had been something Harry had held on to.

It wasn't until he'd learned about how cruel his father had been in school that he'd stopped truly needing to emulate everything about that ideal man. Because James Potter had once been just another bully. Another Dudley or Malfoy. And that wasn't something Harry wanted to be.

Nothing about James Potter could have protected his son against the scorn of the entire wizarding world. Nothing James did or said would have taught Harry Defence from Umbridge, and Harry had grown enough to understand that his Slytherin side wasn't a horrible thing, as he and his friends created an illegal group under Umbridge's nose.

And there was nothing, absolutely nothing that James could have done to save Sirius. There was nothing that ideal Gryffindor could have done against Sirius' killer, and if James hadn't been able to stand up to Voldemort on his own turf, he never would have managed at the Ministry.

James Potter never would have cast an Unforgivable.

James Potter had never had a prophecy hanging over his head, telling him it was kill or be killed.

"No," Harry whispered, "he's no longer my protector. The stag is no longer safe."

But what was, then?

"Myself," Harry realised. "In the end, it's all down to me. No one can protect me but myself. And isn't that why I came here? So I could learn to protect myself? So I could keep people from dying?"

Harry swallowed, raised his arm, and cast, "Expecto Patronum."

Black light erupted from Harry's fingers and he found himself staring at a skeleton horse with wings.

"A thestral," Harry breathed, reaching out to touch the spectre. "How..."

There was a knock on his door and Harry almost fell off the bed. "Come in!" he shouted, shooting an unlocking charm at the door.

Jacob walked in with Arcturus behind him. Arcturus froze at the sight of the thestral, but Jacob just walked up to Harry and tossed himself on the boy's bed. "It sure is comfy in here. What have you done with the place?"

Arcturus cleared his throat. "Harry, you know there's a thestral standing in the middle of your room, right?"

"What?! Where?" Jacob demanded, sitting up quickly and looking around.

Harry cocked his head to one side. "A thestral can't be seen by someone who hasn't seen death," he murmured, then looked at the thestral, which had eerily intelligent eyes. "So it's the same for you?"

The thestral nodded and stretched its wings a bit.

"Who're you talking to?" Jacob asked.

"My Patronus," Harry replied softly.

"A black Patronus?" Arcturus asked. "Can it stop a dementor?"

The thestral gave Arcturus a highly affronted look, as if to say, 'Are you calling me worthless, human?'

Arcturus grinned. "Sorry. It's just, who would consider a thestral Patronus material?"

"This is supremely unfair," Jacob announced. "You can both see this Patronus, but I can't!"

"But you can feel it," Harry realised, recalling what Jacob had said when he came in. "You said it felt comfortable in here, but you hate my room; it's too red."

Jacob blinked in surprise and looked at the nearest wall. "Weird. I can feel my hatred of your room, but it's like it's not really there, like it's a trivial problem, and it shouldn't bother me. So it doesn't." He looked at Harry oddly. "That's just wrong. Make it stop."

Arcturus snorted and walked over to Harry's desk chair. "I don't think he can, Jacob."

"Yeah, sorry," Harry agreed, then turned back to the thestral. "You're staying a long time, you know. Most Patroni find out what's wrong, fight it, then leave."

The thestral ruffled its wings and walked over to butt Harry in the forehead, knocking him backwards.

"Woah!" Jacob jumped off the bed, eyeing where he thought the thestral must be suspiciously. "Patroni aren't that solid!"

"This one is," Arcturus commented drily. "Harry, I think he's staying in case you have questions for him or something."

Harry sat back up, rubbing at his head. "Yeah? Well, what's to ask? I think that was– Bugger! So, wait, are you me?" he demanded of the thestral.

The thestral growled agreeably, then faded away, leaving Harry staring after it in surprise.

"It's gone," Arcturus informed Jacob, who was still eyeing his imaginary thestral suspiciously.

Jacob blinked, then grinned. "Oh, yeah, I hate your room, Harry."

Harry snorted in amusement. "I'm glad you're back to yourself, then. So, what brings you two in here?"

"Oh!" Jacob bounced back onto Harry's bed. "Well, you've been working like a nutter, so I don't think you heard, but some of the professors wanted to learn the Patronus too, and Gygax told them they'd have to ask you, since you're the most proficient, even if yours doesn't really..."

"Well, before it wasn't much more than mist. Now not everyone can see it," Arcturus offered, rolling his eyes. "At any rate, since you've been so distracted, Gaunt asked Jacob and myself if we could ask you when you stopped being so busy."

Harry cocked his head to one side. "I don't mind, no. I'll let him know at dinner, I suppose."

Jacob snickered. "Harry, have you looked at a clock lately?"

Harry glanced over at the clock on his wall and blinked. "Huh." Dinner had been over for almost an hour. "Wonder if the elves will give me something to eat if I ask them?"

"Probably," Arcturus agreed. "Might as well go ask. And go by Gaunt's office after."

Harry rolled his eyes and got off his bed. "Yes, mother," he offered, then made shooing motions at his friends, grinning when they both got up and left his room ahead of him.

-0-


Harry knocked cautiously on Gaunt's door, opening the door when he called, "Come in!"

"Professor? You wanted to see me?" Harry asked, stepping into the office. He glanced around the mostly bare room and considered telling Jacob that even their professor hadn't decorated his office, so why should it matter if Harry didn't decorate his room?

Gaunt smiled at him from over a pile of papers. "Yes, please, won't you sit?" He waved at the chair sitting in front of his desk and busied himself with shuffling the papers to one side as Harry sat. "Eliza was telling us yesterday about how you taught the class the Patronus Charm and a number of members of the staff were curious, myself included, about whether you would be willing to teach us. Especially now that the Dark Lord has the dementors under his control."

Harry nodded. "It shouldn't be a problem, though some people might have trouble seeing my Patronus..."

Gaunt cocked his head to one side curiously. "Oh? Eliza said you were having some trouble with it..."

"Yeah. I had to look it up, and, well, it says that when a witch or a wizard goes through a bit of a trauma, their Patronus can change, and sometimes they just need to think about it so it can change. And I thought about it and now mine is a thestral. Works the same way normal thestrals do, since Arcturus and I can see it, but Jacob can't."

"Really? I wasn't aware you'd both seen death."

Harry thought fast. "My grandfather died the beginning of the summer, not long after I sent in my letter to join this school. He's been..." Harry swallowed, thinking about Sirius. "He was everything. I guess I saw him as a bit of a protector, since after his death my Patronus changed, and the book I found said it often reflected who you felt protected by." He shrugged a bit.

Gaunt nodded. "It makes sense. The Patronus was created to combat that which threatened the caster, so it would need to be something that you felt protected by..." He paused, frowning. "A thestral?"

Harry laughed. "Myself."

Gaunt shook his head helplessly. "Right. Gryffindor." He rolled his eyes as Harry continued laughing. "May I see? Your Patronus, I mean."

Harry nodded and forced himself to stop laughing. "Yeah. It's a bit weird, though," he warned, then cast the spell before Gaunt could ask why.

"A black Patronus..." Gaunt whispered, eyeing the thestral with no small amount of awe. "Impressive, Mr Barak."

"I prefer weird, personally," Harry replied drily, eyeing his Patronus with amusement.

The thestral huffed at him and faded away.

Gaunt grinned. "Well, most of the staff have seen death, so that shouldn't be a problem. Now, the people who would like to learn are Alonzo, Gaur, Sally, Rodolphus and myself, of course. I believe we're all free on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday from four until dinner?" Harry nodded in affirmation. "Since you will be the teacher, as it were, we'll let you pick the specific day."

Harry thought about it for a moment, then shrugged and said, "Monday is good enough. If someone can't make it, I can show them another time. I, honestly, don't mind teaching about Patroni; it's kind of a vital bit of knowledge, no matter who you are." He grimaced.

Gaunt nodded. "That's what Gaur said. Do you mind if any students also come? I'm sure some will be curious."

Harry shrugged again. "I don't mind. Though, if Kathy Carrow comes and starts mouthing off about blood purity again, I might refuse to help her. Just warning you."

Gaunt grinned knowingly. He'd already cursed Kathy's tongue off twice and it was only the second month of school. There were bets going around among the professors and students alike about how much longer she'd last before Gaunt either outright killed her, or just kicked her out. "Acceptable," he agreed. "I'll make sure the other professors know, and the rest of the students will likely know by the end of breakfast tomorrow..."

Harry laughed. While Wand and Dagger's grapevine wasn't as impressive as Hogwarts', it was just as quick. And since the professors ate meals at the same table as the students, nothing stayed secret for long. Harry was sometimes impressed that anyone managed to keep a secret at this school, no matter how closely they guarded it.

Gaunt made a note on a muggle notebook to his right. "If that's all, Mr Barak?"

Harry thought for a moment, had a brief debate with himself, then sighed. "That is something else, sir."

Gaunt waved his hand for Harry to continue.

"Well, the book I read about Patroni said that the form the Patronus takes of the person the caster feels protected by in their Animagus form and, well..." Harry trailed off nervously.

Gaunt blinked. "So you think your Animagus form is a thestral?"

Harry nodded. "And when I asked, it nodded, so..." He shrugged.

Gaunt smiled and shook his head. "It's certainly a possibility. It's rare for wizards and witches to be magical Animagi, but not impossible. Goodness knows I am, and so, I believe, is Albus Dumbledore."

"What are you?" Harry asked, then quickly added, "If you don't mind. Sorry."

Gaunt chuckled a bit. It seemed that Harry was always apologising for possibly overstepping his bounds. His professors would occasionally joke about it, as they did about all the students' quirks. "A basilisk," he said in answer. "I wonder if that might be my Patronus, now that I think about it..."

"Terrifying concept," Harry replied. "Just make sure to tell your allies to turn away when you call it out. Just in case."

Gaunt nodded, chuckling. "Rather. Especially if your thestral is anything to go by. Now! You were asking about Animagus training, I believe?"

Harry reddened slightly at being figured out. "Yeah. I always wanted to learn, anyway. Not sure if anyone would be willing to teach me is all..."

Gaunt hummed a bit. "Well, since I can already do it, I could probably teach you. And since your form is potentially magical, it would probably be best. I suppose you teaching the staff the Patronus Charm deserves some sort of reimbursement..."

Harry shook his head. "Slytherin logic."

"Wonderful thing, isn't it?" Gaunt replied teasingly. "I wouldn't mind teaching you, Mr Barak, but I'm afraid you might have to give up one of your free periods for it."

Harry nodded thoughtfully. Gaunt would want to leave his weekends free for any students who needed him for something. So which free period would Harry want to give up? "Wednesdays from four until dinner? I'd say Thursday, but I think you'd rather be free to run upstairs to save Smith's classroom. Just in case."

Gaunt laughed at the accurate mental image. There had been a few times on Thursdays when he had to run upstairs to do just that and saw Harry and Arcturus sitting out by the stairwell, eyeing the classroom hallway like it might try and eat them if they moved too suddenly. "Probably wise. Then I will see you in here on Wednesday after your Light Magics class. Is that acceptable?"

"Brilliant," Harry agreed.

Gaunt nodded. "If something comes up that I must attend to, I will leave a note on my door."

Harry nodded in understanding. "Okay."

Gaunt smiled and eyed the timepiece on his desk. "Is that all, Mr Barak?"

Harry grinned. "Yeah. Thanks a lot, sir."

"Have a good night, Mr Barak."

"You too, Professor Gaunt!" Harry called over his shoulder, letting the door close gently behind him.

Gaunt shook his head in amusement. "Gryffindors. Always making trouble, whether intentional or not."

-0-0-0-0-0-


A/N: WE HAVE A WEBSITE!! Link.
Also, this site and I had issues. It had a limit on how many pages I was allowed. Plus, it's one of those fancy, do it for you, really easy site builders. *grumble* I'm used to the days when you could have as many pages as you wanted, and you had to code everything yourself. But I couldn't find a site like that. *whine*
But there you go.

~Bats ^.^x

Chapters:
1 - The Wolves ||| 2 - The First Day ||| 3 - Shocks and Explosions
4 - Socialising ||| 5 - The Patronus ||| 6 - ??
Incomplete

.

Date: 20/8/10 17:15 (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I hope you plan on continuing this story. I really like it. Also, it's something different to have Harry at a school run by the Dark Lord.

I am wondering when you will start the pairing... but please, please, please...update!!!

By the way, I love most of your stories, and I have those on alert on FF.net...

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