![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
batsutousaiTitle: Still Carrying the Past
Fandom: Marvel (movie 'verse)
Author: Batsutousai
Beta: Shara Lunison
Rating: R/M
Pairings: Loki/Tony Stark
Warnings: post-Ragnarok, character death, allusions to past tortures and other violence, reincarnation (of a fashion), canon racism, mention of previous Tony/Pepper
Summary: Loki looks to make right all that he once made wrong.
Disclaim Her: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Marvel. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N: A sequel to Haunt Me ~ Loki, which was born of a prompt from mystatusquo. AislingSiobhan pestered me until I ended up writing this.
All you really need to know was that Tony and Loki were a thing, then Ragnarok happened, Loki remembered his last life upon his rebirth and worked to make sure Tony and the other Avengers were happy in their lives, only for Tony to marry Pepper and live happily ever after, as the story goes.
This opens after the second Ragnarok, where Loki, again, remembers everything.
This is very much Loki-centric, and Tony doesn't show up 'til the last half. There's a fair bit of Thor and his posse, and the Jötun element gets some attention. It's long. (Sorry if it comes across as rambling; I was super tired while writing a huge chunk of it, and regularly being distracted by my mother for the rest. ^.^")
Two lifetimes past, and Loki still remembered all. He recalled the events that had led to his death, the Ragnarok that had come at the hands of one far more cruel than himself, and he thought of how he could change the universe for the better.
When Odin came for the Casket, Loki let out a cry in his forgotten corner, flailing and making a nuisance of himself until the Allfather had picked him up. Then he stared at the king, wide-eyed and childishly trusting. Odin brought him home and introduced him to Frigga as their son, Loki.
It wasn't that Loki had truly wanted to live again as Odin's second son, but there were allies he could only make from the steps of the Asgardian throne, so he steeled himself for a life under Odin's roof and acted the unknowing child.
That act lasted only until the day one of his and Thor's tutors started going on about how terrible the Jötun were.
"Are they?" Loki asked before he thought to censor himself.
Thor jerked out of his daze and turned to look at the younger prince as their tutor asked, "Pardon me?"
Loki thought about brushing it off, about pretending he'd been daydreaming like Thor and had spoken aloud unintentionally. But the Jötun were his people, and he had spent a lifetime amongst them, sharing in their pains and victories, blessing children born to the harsh wilds of their realm and meting out judgements for all manner of disputes. A lingering dislike of the Jötun remained from his first life, but he was largely accepting of his species now, and he couldn't bear to sit back and let someone fill the future king of Asgard's head with lies.
So he set his shoulders, met his tutor's eyes straight on, and asked, "Are Jötun truly the monsters you call them?"
The tutor blinked. "Well, of course they are.""How so?"
The tutor seemed uncertain how to answer that. "Well, they... They are barbarians, of course!"
"And Æsir aren't?" Loki returned without pause. "Do y–we not kill for sport? Do we not make war for boredom? Do we not publicly execute wrong-doers, all turning out to watch the proceedings? Are these very things, of which Asgard is most proud, not barbaric in their own right?"
The tutor floundered for a moment, looking towards a wide-eyed Thor as if the elder prince would have answers. Then he narrowed his eyes at Loki. "They eat their own children!"
Loki couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. Jötun did no such thing, treasured their young perhaps even more dearly that the Æsir, due to the higher mortality rate that came from living in a realm made almost entirely of ice.
"You think such funny?" the tutor demanded.
Loki snorted and gathered his things, standing from the table he and Thor shared. "I think you are a fool, and unworthy of my time," he replied evenly. "I'll be in the library, learning truths, not these farfetched lies you spew of a people you know nothing of." And he left.
That night, seated around the fire in their family chambers, Odin asked, "Loki, why did you walk out on your tutor?" Because if one of the princes was going to walk out on lessons, it would be Thor, who would much rather be rough-housing with other children than sitting in a room to learn from old men who droned on and on about things he could care less about.
"Because he's a fool," Loki replied absently, not looking up from his book. It was one he'd read before, during his first life, but it had been thousands of years since then, and he thought to refresh his memory. He had found a handful of spells in it that he had forgotten, already, and kept a scrap of paper as a place-marker to write down any more.
Frigga gently took the book from his hands, smiling at his frown. "How so?"
Loki huffed. "He said Jötun eat their offspring."
"Well, they do," Thor said from in front of the fire, an array of figures at war spread out around him.
Loki rolled his eyes towards the Allfather, looking for his wisdom on the matter. Odin spared an odd look towards his adopted son even as he said, "They do not, in fact, eat their young. But they don't care for them in quite the way we do, either."
Loki stiffened and fought to keep his voice even when he said, "I would think not, with how cold it must be there. I imagine they worry, first, for the strongest children, the ones most likely to survive." He met Odin's single eye with the ease of nearly two thousand of years of practise. "When you know a child will not survive, is it not kinder to end their suffering early? Do we not do the same with children born with physical defects?"
"Those children are given a quick, painless death," Odin returned, something worrying in his gaze. "The Jötun leave those unwanted children to die alone in the elements."
Loki smiled bitterly. "To give them a chance to prove themselves capable of surviving, I should think. Just because a child isn't optimal, doesn't mean they shouldn't be given a chance to prove that they can manage just as well as any of their peers. Or do you believe a physical impairment is a sign that one cannot continue to function as normal?"
Odin inclined his head. "You make a fair point, Loki. That doesn't make the practise any less cruel."
Loki shrugged. "I didn't say it wasn't cruel, I just said that Æsir aren't so different when it comes to children that are unsuited to their ideal life. The difference is that the Jötun give their children the chance to prove otherwise, Æsir don't. Just because we go about things in different manners doesn't make one people barbarians and the other not."
"Are you calling us barbarians?" Thor demanded.
Loki sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "I am tired. May I be excused?"
Frigga handed back his book and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Pleasant dreams, Loki," she said and he left, ignoring Thor.
Over the next few years, Thor made it his purpose to prove to Loki that the Jötun were monsters. He could often be found listening to war stories, or bent over a stack of tomes in the library. Loki watched this change with disbelieving eyes, but he quickly came to enjoy those moments when Thor found 'proof' of Jötun monstrosity and brought it to the younger to either rebut or show that the Æsir were similar.
Finally, having gone through every resource at his disposal, Thor was forced to concede that Jötun were not, in fact, monsters, but were very like the Æsir, in a slightly different way.
"How do you know all these things, anyway?" Thor asked unexpectedly one afternoon.
Loki glanced up from his book, eyebrows raised. "Know what things, Thor?"
"Everything about the Jötun."
"I read, and listen, and consider things with an open mind."
"I read and listened, too," Thor complained. "You always know more than I can find. How is that?"
Loki considered the young man he was beginning to think of as 'Brother' again in his mind. Thor was no genius, but he was honest, and far more accepting of Loki's words than he'd ever been in the past. "What do you know of Ragnarok?" he asked after motioning to hide them from both Heimdall and Odin's attention.
Thor scrunched his nose up in a manner that Loki had always found stupidly endearing. "Ragnarok?" he repeated. "The end of existence. The moment when Lady Death finally sends out those souls she has gathered to bring all others back to her arms. It's foretold to come to be in a glorious battle."
Loki snorted; of course Thor would remember the part about the grand battle. "That's true. But Lady Death cannot be without lives to collect, and so Ragnarok is not so much the end of all life as it is the rebirth of life. All life."
Thor shrugged. "So?"
Loki's lips twisted with a bitter smile. "At Ragnarok, everything will die and the realms will begin again, from the moment of their conception. Every life that has been, will be again. It is a never-ending cycle, the same warriors in the same battle over and over again, only little changes affecting the ending of that cycle.
"For some reason I cannot fathom, I have been cursed to remember these cycles. I have seen Ragnarok twice, now, and am cursed to see it a third."
Thor stared at him, eyes wide and pained, much like how he always appeared when Loki received a wound during practise fights at his hand. "You have died twice?" he whispered, voice breaking.
Loki looked away, shrugging. "It is destined to happen, Thor. You need not look so hurt."
"I would find those that did you harm and see they not get the chance again!" Thor roared.
Loki glanced at him, considering, while the blond scowled from his chair. "That list," he said at last, "is far longer than I believe you could manage, and many on it have not yet been born." He watched Thor deflate, then added, "You are on it."
Thor jerked as though hit, and he turned wounded eyes on Loki. "I would never–"
"Have care for your words, Thor," Loki suggested drily. "Do you truly believe me incapable of bringing you to such rage that you would see me suffer for it?"
Thor brought his knees to his chest and curled around them, appearing painfully small to Loki, who had always seen Thor as larger than life, even when they had been at odds. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "You're my brother. I should never wish harm upon you, no matter your words or actions to bring me to such."
"Adopted," Loki commented, comfortable with that fact after a lifetime without it hanging over his head.
Thor peeked up at him from over his knees, looking young and helpless. "What?" he whispered.
Loki shrugged. "Odin brought me back from Jötunheim, a babe left out in the cold to live or die, Norns willing. My true father is Laufey."
Thor's eyes widened, and Loki watched as he connected Loki's insistence that Jötun weren't monsters for what it truly was. "Oh," he breathed.
Loki's lips twisted with a cruel smile. " 'Oh' indeed. You once ordered my death for the simple fact that I am Jötun. Asgard has never been accepting of my kind."
Thor's jaw tightened. "That ends now," he decided, and there was a glimpse of the king he had become during Loki's first life in his eyes. A promise of equality and a love for all beings of the Nine Realms.
Loki, jaded by two lives of racism, thought that was extremely unlikely.
Thor tried to make people look past over two decades of war propaganda, and Loki truly appreciated it, but few were willing to think of Jötun as more than very large monsters. The group that would one day become the Warriors Three were of the few willing to see Thor's words as truth, Lady Sif another, once Loki had hunted her down and dragged her into the training yards one afternoon. The golden hair, where he was used to black, was distracting, but he resigned himself to it, seeing no reason to incur her wrath by cutting it all off again. And Sif, so grateful to have been given a chance and his support without pause, gifted Loki with none of the condescension he remembered from his first life, which made her a far more tolerable companion.
Truthfully, all four of Thor's friends seemed more tolerable. Loki couldn't be sure if that was because he was different, or if it was because Thor was more concerned for Loki's state than he'd ever been before. They still wanted to go out and make names for themselves, dragging Loki along as a master of magical arts, but they also took heed of his warnings when he said they should turn back. That, he knew, was Thor more than anything else, trusting Loki when he would have, before, brushed his concern to the side. But there was none of the insults for his preference for magic and trickery, either, and he could never be certain what brought that change.
The only time Thor didn't listen to Loki's cautions, was the time he decided he wanted to go to Jötunheim. It was perhaps three centuries since he'd discovered Loki was a Jötun, and he had clearly been thinking on the possibility for a long time.
"I want to see Jötunheim," he announced one afternoon while they were relaxing in the gardens. Sif and Hogun were caring for their weapons and Loki reading a book while Fandral and Volstagg tormented the fish in a nearby pond. Thor had been staring up at the sky, twirling Mjölnir in one hand, and the comment seemed to come from nowhere.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him, disbelieving and wary. "It is forbidden," Sif reminded him carefully, looking towards Loki to be the voice of reason.
"I don't want to make war–" Thor started.
"It's not about war, Thor," Loki interrupted, and the elder pushed up on his elbows to look at him. Loki closed his book, marking his spot with one finger. "It's about breaking the treaty, and the danger in going to that realm without protection. Just because you view them favourably, doesn't mean the Jötun would pause to remove your head."
Thor watched him for another long moment, then nodded and laid back down. Loki hoped it the end of that discussion, but Thor brought it up again and again, wearing on everyone's patience until it was only Loki trying to dissuade him.
"He's not going to stop wanting to go," Sif pointed out one afternoon while she and Loki sat watching the other males spar in the training yards. "At least if we give in, we'll know he's not going on his own."
"Jötunheim is no place for idiots looking for glory," Loki replied. "It's forbidden for a reason, and I wish he would just let it be."
Sif nodded and said, "He seems to think you're interested in going, yourself."
Loki pressed his mouth into a thin line; it was true that a part of him wanted to return to his native realm, but not at the cost of his brother and the other Æsir he found himself enjoying the company of. Truly, he'd thought more than once of travelling Yggdrasil to visit, but he was uncertain of his welcome and had no interest in fighting for his birthright.
Sif's eyes widened. "You do want to go," she realised.
Loki snorted. "Not enough to risk anyone's life."
"But you want to go, same as Thor," Sif said, clearly surprised. "I thought it was just Thor, but it's both of you."
"I'll be in the library," Loki decided, done with the conversation.
"Wait, Loki." Sif grabbed his wrist as he moved to leave.
"What?"
"Just... He's determined to go. You know it as well as the rest of us. Wouldn't you rather he go with us – with you and your clever tongue – at his back?"
Loki pulled away and retired to the library. Yes, of course she was correct. Thor did as Thor pleased, and damn the consequences. It was a trait he and Loki shared, and it drove Loki mad.
That night, he told Thor he needed two days to make preparations, then they could go to Jötunheim. Thor grinned widely. "I'll leave it to you," he agreed, acting for all the world as though he'd been expecting the words. Which he likely had.
It wasn't until they were ready to go that someone – Fandral, in this case – thought to ask, "How are we to convince Heimdall of the necessity of this journey?"
"We're not taking the Bifröst," Loki replied, shoving a coat at the warrior.
"What other route is there?" Sif wanted to know.
Loki snorted. "You honestly believe the Bifröst is the only connection between the realms?" He turned a glare on Volstagg as the man attempted to 'forget' the coat Loki had forced on him. "I will drop you on Midgard if you aren't wearing that, and you can find your own way home. I promise you won't manage this route without me."
"You're not wearing a coat," Volstagg muttered as he pulled his back on.
"Loki has other ways of keeping warm," Thor commented, grinning from behind the scarf he'd dragged out of some hole in his room. Loki thought it might have been something he'd gifted the elder prince, but he wasn't certain.
"Loki is a shape-shifter," Hogun reminded them blandly.
Loki snorted and looked them over. He decided they were well enough and motioned them forward, forcibly placing Thor's hand on his shoulder. "Do not lose contact with me or each other," he ordered and everyone hurried to clasp hands or shoulders.
Travelling Yggdrasil with a group was no mean feat, but Loki was well-familiar with the branches and didn't falter in his course. They stepped out into the frozen wastes after not quite twenty minutes, and the five Æsir immediately started shivering. Loki, for his part, showed no reaction to the chill, plenty comfortable even in his Áss skin and seeing no reason to fake a chill.
"W-w-we're h-here," Fandral chattered. "Ca-an we g-g-go back n-now?"
Thor shook his head and looked to Loki. "I want to see the capitol."
"No," Loki said without pause. "Out here, we're safe, save an occasional snow wolf. Stepping into the city will be to forfeit all our lives."
Thor set his jaw. "I'm going to the city."
"Are you insane?!" Loki demanded. "Perhaps you're just looking for death? What part of this is glorious, Thor? The part where the guardian hounds play a tugging game with your arms and you scream as they're slowly ripped from their sockets and you're left a bloody mess upon the ground while they gnaw on your bones? Or perhaps that moment when you're laid bare to the elements and forced to face off against warrior after warrior with nothing but an icicle while a crowd cheers your opponents on?"
Thor grimaced at the imagery, aware that Loki had very likely seen just such events occur. "I'm not here for a fight," he said around his grimace.
Loki rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Then why are we here?"
Thor took a slow breath, then admitted, "I want to try making a treaty, one that benefits the Jötun, too."
"What?!" the Warriors Three and Sif all called.
Loki narrowed his eyes. "Laufey won't want your treaties, Thor. He wants the head of every Áss on a pike, lining the path from the Bifröst to his throne. And he wants Odin's head in a place of honour on the back of his throne. You're the son of Odin; where do you think he'll want your head?"Thor shook his head. "You said the Jötun would do practically anything to get the Casket of Ancient Winters back."
"I'm not stealing that from him just so you can feel good about yourself for a couple years," Loki snapped. "We're going back."
"Too late," Fandral whispered, looking out at where a group of Jötun had appeared from the endless wastes, all grinning nastily. The Æsir all reached for weapons, but Thor motioned for them to stand at peace with a sharp gesture.
"Well, well. Looks like a group of pale children, out after curfew," one of them said, and the others chuckled. "Did you get lost heading home?"
"We were just–" Loki started, but Thor cut him off.
"We're here to speak with King Laufey."
Loki barely resisted the urge to moan, but Fandral and Volstagg weren't so capable, letting their disapproval be known in tandem.
The Jötun in charge of this party – a man Loki knew to be particularly hateful towards Æsir – chortled. "Not with your weapons, I think," he said. "Hand everything over and we'll escort you ourselves."
Thor handed Mjölnir over without complaint, and the others followed suit. Of course, with Thor being able to call his weapon at a moment's notice, and Loki's strength laying in his magic, they were not so defenceless as they appeared. But, then, these Jötun didn't actually know who they were dealing with, and they crowded the group of visitors as they motioned them towards the main city.
"If you survive this, I will kill you myself once we're home," Loki muttered to Thor as they walked.
Thor grinned. "Don't you trust me, Brother?"
Loki just pinned him with an unimpressed look and turned away to watch the looming city. A pang of homesickness came over him, and he swallowed against a lump; he had spent over two millennia living in this city, had given his life to protect it, even. It seemed odd to be returning to it after resigning himself to a life in Asgard; without Thor's hatred of Loki's kin, he had expected to never set foot on Jötunheim again, never mind in this city.
Thor always ruined his plans. You'd think Loki would have learned better by now.
Laufey, unlike his people, recognised the Áss prince right off. Without ceremony, he turned his arm to ice and swung it at Thor's head, face a mask of rage.
Equally lacking in ceremony, Loki changed to his Jötun form and met his father's arm with his own, eyes narrowed. "Do you want to bring Odin Allfather down on your head?" he snarled. "This realm is in enough ruin without you provoking the anger of the only man keeping it in one piece!"
Laufey's rage bled into shock at being stopped in such a way, which then coloured with anger at Loki's chiding. Then, unexpectedly, relief and amazement. The ice melted from the king's arm and he breathed, "You're alive."
It was Loki's turn for shock, and he let his ice-covered arm fall to his side. "Of course I'm alive," he snapped, falling back on the familiar defence of anger to hide his surprise. "Have I need to change that?"
Before Laufey could respond to that, a young voice called out, "Brother!" and a young Jötun about a head shorter than Loki barrelled into him.
"Býleistr," Loki recognised, hugging his youngest brother back. Where Helblindi had always been a stick in the mud, disapproving of Loki's every action, Býleistr had adored Loki, doubly so after he'd brought back the Casket of Ancient Winters and healed their realm. When the events that would become Ragnarok fell upon Jötunheim, Býleistr had stood firmly at Loki's side, unafraid of the death he met there.
And when Býleistr looked up, eyes just a shade lighter than the average Jötun-red, Loki saw memories in them of battles they had fought in together in another life. Relief and horror rolled over him in equal amounts, because as much as he liked the idea of having someone else around who remembered, the idea that this brother had been born with the memories of his own death and the destruction of Jötunheim that Loki had been unable to stop, honestly hurt. Loki knew what those sorts of memories could do to you, and he curled around Býleistr, as though he might protect his brother from damage already done.
"You remember," Býleistr breathed against Loki's chest plate, awed.
"Brother?" Thor called, reminding Loki that there were others watching. A glance at the Warriors Three and Sif found them torn between disbelief and distrust, and Loki realised he would have to tread carefully, lest he lose the friendships he'd come to enjoy in this life.
Loki swallowed and carefully unwrapped himself from Býleistr. "In truth," he said to his companions, "I am Jötun. Laufey is my father by blood. The Allfather spirited me away after the war."
"Something for which he will pay. Dearly," Laufey rumbled, expression twisting again with anger as he turned his eyes upon Thor.
Loki narrowed his eyes at his father. "He would be a poor king, who spends his every thought on revenge," he commented coolly. "Thor is as much my brother as Býleistr and Helblindi, and should you have even one breath of the care for me that your pleasure at my continued life hinted at, you will do him no harm."
Laufey scowled, but turned his gaze from the blond prince. Before he might comment, Sif called, "Oh, this is comforting. So you'll protect Thor, yet you spy for your kind."
Loki sighed and closed his eyes, resigned to the dislike of a lifetime he'd thought long past, but Thor was not so lenient, and he turned on Sif with a snarl of, "Hold your tongue!"
"He's Jötun!" Sif snapped back.
"I'm well aware," Thor said, tone warning of impending violence, "and have been since long before you were offered a sword. So I say again, hold your tongue."
"This was why you've defended Jötun so fervently," Fandral recognised looking at Loki with none of the disgust the Trickster had expected. "All these years we've wondered, but never asked."
"Did we come for a better treaty like you said, then?" Volstagg asked. "Or for Loki?"
"After how determined Loki was to not come," Fandral muttered.
"Both," Thor admitted and Loki snorted.
The snort was echoed by Laufey. "A 'better treaty'? You'll have us in your halls, acting as your pets, next."
Thor took a deep breath and faced the Jötun king as he would have Odin: Meeting his eyes, but tilting his head just the slightest to indicate deference. "Loki said you need the Casket of Ancient Winters or Jötunheim will crumble to nothing, no matter how much of himself Father puts towards holding it together."
Laufey glanced towards Loki, who stared back, showing none of the deference Thor offered. "This is truth," the Jötun king agreed.
Thor nodded. "I'd like to see it back in your realm, then, where it belongs." Laufey's eyes gleamed with greed. "But not if you're just going to use it to start another war."
Laufey smoothed his expression. "Now, why would I do that?"
"Because you hate the Æsir with all the heat of Muspellsheim's core, and would like nothing better than to see them wiped from the face of the Nine Realms," Loki remarked drily.
Laufey smiled. "Perhaps you should remain, then, and have care of it. As is befitting of Jötunheim's First Prince."
Loki hummed and glanced down at Býleistr. "It's true that it would be a fitting duty for the First Prince. Do you think Helblindi could be trusted with that much responsibility, though?"
Býleistr frowned. "Helblindi? Why not you, Loki? You were the best king Jötunheim ever had."
"Conflict of interest," Loki quipped. "Also, Helblindi would make my life a nightmare for usurping him."
Býleistr grimaced in silent agreement at that last as Laufey snapped, "Conflict of interest? And what causes this confliction? Asgard? You are of Jötunheim, boy!"
"I am of both," Loki replied evenly, meeting his father's eyes without flinching. "And you would do well to remember that." He smoothly changed his form back to that of an Áss.
Laufey glared like he would bend Loki to his will by gaze alone, but Loki was long immune to such attempts to force his compliance and the Jötun king had to look away from his son's amused smirk.
Býleistr touched Loki's arm, then. "I would like to see Asgard," he said, hopeful. And Loki knew his brother meant he wanted to see the city before the devastation of pre-Ragnarok wars left it in ruin, because they had gone there after Jötunheim was dust, looking for allies, and finding none still alive.
Still. "I am uncertain of the wisdom in such a visit," he said carefully. "At this time, given the illegal nature of our absence, returning with a member of a species Asgard's people seem to believe themselves to be eternally at war with, may only incite further violence."
Býleistr drooped slightly, but then Thor had to go and ask, "Could you not perform an illusion to give him the form of an Áss? He's not so tall it would be obvious that he is not as he appears." Loki shot the blond a glare, to which Thor offered his most idiotic smile. "Perhaps having a Jötun prince without ties to the throne of Asgard will help put Father in a mood more inclined towards a treaty?"
"At times, Brother, I am in awe of your pleasant little dream world," Loki replied drily. "It must be very much a simple paradise, for I fathom no other reason for some of the fool ideas you concoct."
"You're only jealous because you have to live in reality," Thor retorted, grinning madly.
"That's his problem exactly!" Volstagg called, laughing when Loki shot him an irritated look.
"Please, Father?" Býleistr asked Laufey. "I could treat with the Allfather on your behalf, and you need never leave Jötunheim."
Laufey's expression said he quite liked that idea, and Loki could guess why; the less Laufey and Odin met, the more likely things were to go well in drafting and signing a proper treaty between their people. Still, he focussed his attention on Loki. "I expect you to assist Býleistr in this. You know the Allfather's ways and are clever enough to avoid his little amusements."
Thor let out a disapproving sound at the slight to his father, but Loki just shrugged. "Very well." He would have insisted on being a part of the negotiations, anyway, so it made no difference, beyond giving him a more formal reason to be involved, should Odin think to send him away.
Laufey turned to Thor, then. "I trust, little Asgardian, that you will see to both my sons' safety while they reside in your realm."
Thor inclined his head. "Loki is more than capable of caring for himself, but I shall ensure no harm comes to Býleistr which does not, first, pass through me, on my honour as First Prince of Asgard."
Laufey nodded, content with that, and settled back into his throne. "You have one full revolution," he announced, directing it towards Býleistr and Loki, who knew the length of time he spoke of better than the Æsir (it was approximately a week, as they figured time in Asgard), and the brothers nodded their understanding.
Odin was not pleased when their group returned to Asgard – travelling by Bifröst, as they were bringing a guest, for all that Býleistr was disguised – but he waited until Býleistr had been shown a room, and the Warriors Three and Sif had left for their homes, before turning to his sons and demanding an explanation.
"It's not right that any race of the Nine Realms be treated with such indifference or contempt as we gift the Jötun," Thor said to the question, head held proudly for a long moment before he ducked it and admitted, "And I wanted Loki to be free to visit all his family."
Odin's gaze jerked towards Loki, openly surprised, and the darker-haired prince smiled tightly. "I'm aware of my true origins," he allowed.
Odin sighed. "And this guest you have brought? He is one of your kin?"
"My youngest brother," Loki agreed with a shrug. "He is here to treat on Laufey's behalf, with my assistance."
Odin betrayed a hint of surprise again. "Laufey trusts you to act on his behalf? Raised Æsir as you have been?"
Loki shrugged again. "He does." He didn't elaborate, having never had the interest to explain his memory of his past lives to anyone beyond the once to Thor. (Thor had asked why he didn't explain it to Odin and Frigga, and Loki had asked, in turn, 'What would they do with such knowledge? Ragnarok cannot be avoided. Better they not know I was born knowing the worst of the realms.' Thor had never again brought up letting anyone else know of Loki's memories.)
Odin left it at that, but he quickly discovered, over the next week of debate, that Laufey's trust in Loki was well-placed; the prince of both Jötunheim and Asgard allowed no slight to his blood kin, arguing over any word that could possibly suggest Jötunheim and her people were less than any other people of the Nine Realms. There was little doubt in anyone's mind that Býleistr was only there to formalise the talks, sitting back and letting Loki manage everything for the Jötun side.
For those who weren't aware of Loki's heritage – which included most of the Council, who were required to sit in on any discussion of such importance – the fervour with which he took the side of Jötunheim was surprising, even given his well-known interest in the people of that world.
During the feast following the treaty being signed, Odin pulled his adopted son away from the subdued celebrations – Æsir would take any chance to drink, but there was more than enough hatred of the Jötun to put a damper on their enjoyment of the occasion – and asked, "Will you be returning to Jötunheim?"
Loki had already agreed to escort Býleistr back to his home realm, but they both knew that wasn't what the Allfather was asking. "For a time," he agreed with a shrug. "But not for over-long." He met Odin's eye. "Asgard is as much my home as Jötunheim, and I intend to favour neither over the other, if I might avoid it."
Odin nodded. "And should Laufey die? You would be the next in line, are you not?"
Loki sighed. "As far as the laws of Jötunheim say, yes, I would be next for the throne. But I don't want it, and I told Laufey as much." He smiled a touch bitterly, remembering a fight from a lifetime long past. "I don't want either throne, I never have." Even during his last life, when Laufey recognised him as First Prince, he hadn't wanted the throne. He had accepted it, much as he'd taken the throne of Asgard when forced upon him during Thor's banishment, but he had never wanted it, and that hadn't changed after a few centuries leading his blood kin.
Odin looked back out towards the party. "I apologise for keeping the truth from you," he said, sounding almost casual.
Loki shook his head, having spent a lifetime moving past his fury with Odin's tendency to keep secrets. "I should have told you when I discovered the truth," he allowed. "Consider it a fair trade."
Odin glanced back at him, lips turned with a frown. "When did you discover the truth?"
Loki smiled, false innocence held around him like a protective cloak. "I wonder," he said and walked away, towards where Thor had been cornered by a group of over-curious nobles. The blond prince would need Loki's easy lies to get away unscathed.
Loki spent the next millennium travelling between his two homes, doing his part to keep the peace. He found himself enjoying time spent with all his brothers, even though he and Helblindi had never truly got along during his last life. Býleistr suggested it was due to Loki not being First Prince in this life, but Loki rather thought it was more that he had an actual reason for constantly being out of Jötunheim, as that was what they had fought over the most.
Sometimes, Thor would travel to Jötunheim with Loki. The Æsir First Prince found no love from most of the Jötun, but he and Býleistr got on fantastically, and Helblindi seemed torn between wanting to know his fellow First Prince, and irritation at how careless Thor could be about many things. For Loki, who had spent a lifetime suffering with Thor by himself, watching Helblindi torn between interest and irritation was like a look into the past, as well as a source of constant amusement.
As for Loki's four parental figures... He and Frigga got on as wonderfully as ever, and his relationship with Odin saw no real change. Laufey appeared much more uncertain about him than he had when Loki had been raised Jötun, but his trust in whatever Býleistr had told him kept things peaceful, even if he was scarce when Thor was in attendance. Fárbauti, on the other hand, had always been slower to trust, but was also more forgiving of previous damages; once they'd moved past the initial distrust, she became both friend and supporter to Loki, as she had been in his previous life. She also got on well with Thor, which Loki hadn't expected, but she had refused an invite to Asgard when Thor offered it, which only seemed to surprised Thor, of those gathered at the time.
When time came for Steve Rogers to be born, Loki started making journeys to Midgard, between visiting Asgard and Jötunheim. Invisible to the one-time Avengers team leader, Loki kept the boy from becoming so ill he might die. Steve survived to the moment when he joined the military, and Loki left him to spend time with his family and keep Thor from asking questions about his disappearances. (The First Prince of Asgard was nearly four times as observant as he'd been in the past, and as happy as Loki was to see Thor growing into a king without being banished to Midgard, it did tend to keep Loki from many of the amusements he'd enjoyed during his first life.)
Loki returned to Midgard shortly after Steve vanished into the ice. He happened upon a desperate Howard Stark just as he found the Tesseract and waited until the man was alone with the item before appearing before him, seated on one of the few tables in the room.
Howard jumped and stumbled backwards into a chair, eyes wide on the god in his office. "H– Who are you?! How did you get in here?"
Loki smiled and leaned forward, arm supporting his chin by bracing against one knee. "Mr Stark. I am a party interested in that object you have discovered." He glanced towards where the Tesseract sat on the table between them. "I would see it returned to its rightful home."
"In Red Skull's hands?" Stark demanded, face shadowed with anger.
Loki raised an eyebrow. "I know of no such by that name," he replied evenly.
That seemed to throw Stark off his guard. "You– Where, then?"
"Where no human will have chance to touch it again." Loki smiled with a hint of teeth. "Some things are much too dangerous for your kind." He motioned and the Tesseract vanished into a magical pocket space for safekeeping until he returned to Asgard. When Stark sort of gaped at where it had been, Loki laughed and said, "I would suggest you not fight me for it."
Stark looked back up at him, swallowing hard. "Yes, I can see that." He shook his head. "What now?"
Loki considered that. "You will continue to move your species forward with your technologies," he said, then narrowed his eyes. "Should you wish to avoid my wrath in the future, you would do well to treat those children you sire well."
Stark snorted, though his expression was wary. "Children? Why would I want some little brat running around, getting into everything?"
Loki was beginning to understand why Anthony had always said his father had never wanted him. "To continue your company after your death," Loki suggested, "and to find Steven Rogers when you, inevitably, fail."
"I'm not going to fail," Stark snapped.
Loki shrugged. "For the sake of the future, when he will be needed again, you had best hope you do," he offered and moved through the barrier of the realms to Yggdrasil, hoping his actions would ease Anthony's childhood.
Part One: Haunt Me ~ Loki
Part Two:
Part Three: Death's Kiss
..
no subject
Date: 11/1/13 20:20 (UTC)