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batsutousaiTitle: Like So Much Shattered Glass
Chapter: 6 of 7
Fandom: Marvel (movie 'verse)
Author: Batsutousai
Beta: Shara Lunison
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Tony Stark/Loki Odinson(Laufeyson), canon
Warnings: Spoilers for The Avengers (2012) and prequel films, angst of the self-hate variety,
Summary: Loki thought to break the Avengers, one man at a time, before killing them. His plans had never involved being broken in return.
A/N: There a bit of a technical look at magic in this chapter, which I blame almost entirely on my Harry Potter background and the urge to know how magic works in this world. So, sorry in advance if anyone gets lost?
I was gonna wait to put this up until tomorrow night – I'm having surgery Tuesday and a pile of reviews is just what the doctor ordered XD – but I'm off to a #ProjectWendy meet-up and figured, if I'm off having fun and not writing, at least you lot can be reading. So. Chapter.
-6-
Loki made himself breakfast in his rooms the next morning, intent on putting up the things Frigga had found for him. He'd also had JARVIS order him a bookcase for his magic books, which JARVIS had promised shouldn't take more than an hour to arrive.
When JARVIS informed him the furniture had arrived, Loki changed his face just enough to make him less recognisable, then took the lift down to collect it. When he returned to his floor, he found that Thor had invaded, looking like he'd just woken. "Good morning, Brother," he offered as he dragged the bookcase in. "Mother asked me to wish you well."
Thor smiled. "She and Father are well?"
"As well as ever," Loki assured him. "The Warriors Three and Lady Sif are on quest in Svartálfaheim for another couple days, so I did not see them."
"It is likely for the best," Thor admitted tiredly. "They would know you for certain, and I didn't tell them that you might wear my form."
"If the Allfather is wise, he will warn them before six days have again passed," Loki muttered.
Thor laughed. "The All-Knowing said you had some things for me?"
"Hm?" Loki glanced back from his consideration of the new bookcase. "Ah, yes." He motioned and the four pictures he and Frigga had found appeared on the floor next to Thor. "Mother helped pick them out," he said as Thor looked through them.
Thor smiled up at him. "Thank her when you return?" he requested and Loki nodded. "These are perfect, Brother. Thank you."
Loki snorted, waving for his bag of books to come to him. "Good. Now leave me to my studies."
Thor laughed and got to his feet, pausing to stretch. "Do not get so lost that I have to gather you again, Loki," he warned as the younger god started pulling out books and setting them on the shelves. Loki grunted in response and Thor shook his head in fond amusement. He was just pressing the button for the lift when Loki let out a sound somewhere between surprise and pain. "Brother?!" he called turning back to Loki in concern.
Loki had his bag held loose in one hand, the picture of him and Thor as children held in the other. It must have slipped between the books he'd been packing to bring back to Midgard without his notice. It was entirely unexpected and he was no more certain how to handle its existence now than he had been on Asgard.
Thor strode over, more concerned for Loki's silence. When he recognised the picture, he let out a sound of surprise and touched the edge.
Loki immediately snatched it away from Thor's hand, snarling, "This one is mine, you great oaf! You don't get to break it!"
Thor blinked in surprise, then let out a loud laugh, remembering a much younger Loki saying the same thing shortly after Thor had accidentally broken his own copy of the picture and then tried talking Loki into giving him his. "I won't break it, Brother," he soothed. "And, if I did, you could easily fix it, I think."
"That's not the point," Loki muttered, holding the picture against his chest protectively.
Thor held up his hands in a gesture of peace, smiling in response to Loki's narrow-eyed suspicion. When Loki relaxed, hold on the picture less protective, Thor asked, "Could you form a copy?" It was a question he'd asked in the past and Loki had always been quick to change the subject, enjoying having the only copy other than Frigga's. Thor had never given up asking, had never bothered going to their mother, though she would have happily had a copy made, because what he wanted was for Loki to make the copy, to fix what Thor had broken in a fit of pique over some stupid fight or another.
Now, more than ever, Thor needed Loki to make him that copy. Now, when every interaction between them was fraught with the shattered remains of centuries of lies and a family torn asunder.
Loki stared blankly at Thor for a long moment before turning away and commenting, "You were leaving."
Thor let out a pained breath and turned to return to the lift, held open by JARVIS. "Yes," he agreed quietly.
Loki remained still, staring down at the picture, for long after the lift doors had fallen shut and the motorised noise accompanying its movement retreated. He knew what the picture meant to Thor, knew that he had never asked Frigga for a copy – she'd mentioned it in passing some centuries ago, after Loki had, again, refused Thor's request –, knew that it might heal some of the distance between them.
But Loki had come to Midgard to destroy his not-brother and the humans. His every thought in the months since his failed take-over had been of his planned revenge, of seeing Thor and Stark and Barton and all the others break.
But now...but now...
Loki clenched his hand around the picture, then forced himself to relax his hold and set it on an empty shelf of the bookcase. Forced himself to continue putting his books up calmly, to ignore the anger and the broken scream that wanted free.
Thor wanted Loki to make him a copy of his picture. It was the simplest of spells, one Loki had learned with the intention of doing that exact thing as a gift for his not-brother shortly after Thor had broken his copy; he had no explanation for why he'd never done so.
But Loki remembered sitting on the throne of Asgard, struggling to prove himself worthy of that throne in spite of his monster's heritage, and laying under Mjölnir on the bridge while Thor cried for the monsters he'd once have been happy to see dead. He remembered meeting Thor on Midgard, his anger on the behalf of mortals, his insistence that Loki – Jötun, monster, his own father's murderer – was still his brother, when they were nothing. Thor's thoughts were forever now for a mortal woman, his mourning was for her, not the monster he claimed relation to, and Loki had known that, had been so very certain.
And then there were the months Loki sat in silence, forgotten and starved in a cave. Thor had come, then, had trickled water against his stitched lips to quench Loki's parched throat as much as could, had brought a balm to soothe the damage to his lips, and spoken of battles and the pranks of children. Thor had foresworn his mortal woman to spend time with Loki, and Loki–
Loki wanted to forget that kindness. He wanted to be able to hate Thor. Forever the bright son, the perfect son, the king-to-be. He who wielded the great Mjölnir and felled enemies by the thousands in battle, who stopped in the market to laugh with stall-keep and noble alike, who everyone loved and would scream his name like a prayer.
Loki had always been the shadow, the second son with colouring completely foreign to the family line, the boy who wielded magic like he'd been born to it and scorned the sword. He who hid in battle, his copies tricking enemies into looking the wrong way while he stabbed them in the back. He who walked through the market ignored, who slipped apples from stalls without notice and dropped them into the shadows where beggars curled, eyes haunted and forever watching – Loki's unspoken army of cutthroats and thieves, liars all.
Loki touched his picture, blinking back tears, and the magic curled around his fingers, uncertain, before finally, after over a thousand years of holding back, releasing.
Loki gathered his old picture, leaving the new copy on his bookcase, and carried it into his room. Some clever spellwork gave it a stand and he stood it on the small table that sat, empty, next to his bed. He stood and stared at it for a long moment, mind blank and uncertain, before finally turning and pulling out his book on healing magic. It had been over a millennium since he'd last had any use for it, and he needed time to study it before he would dare to try anything on Banner's mortal body.
-0-
Loki didn't lose himself in his magic studies: the copied picture was set just at the corner of his vision, a constant reminder of his indecision.
Finally, determining that enough time had passed, Loki snapped his book shut and rose to put it away. His hand hovered uncertainly for a moment over the picture before he motioned and it slipped into one of his magic spaces, in easy reach should he decide to give it to Thor.
"JARVIS," he called as he made for the lift, "is there anyone currently with Dr Banner?"
"There is not," JARVIS replied. "He has been sleeping peacefully for almost six hours now, and I request you avoid waking him."
"I will endeavour to do so," Loki promised as he took the lift up a floor to Banner's rooms. He moved around the personal lab and back to Banner's bedroom without pausing, familiar enough with the layout to know where he was going. As JARVIS had said, the human lay in his bed, chest rising and falling in sleep, though the movement was sharp with dulled pain.
Loki stopped next to Banner's bed and held his hand just above the man's chest, nearly touching as he breathed in. He shaped his magic into the healing spells he'd just learned, pushing them into the burns that stood, too red, against Banner's fragile skin. As Loki watched, the colour paled and blisters faded away smoothly. Banner's breathing eased, the pain killers soothing whatever residual pain remained.
Loki finally stepped away, his magic more depleted than he would have liked, but pleased with his work.
JARVIS was notably silent as Loki returned to the lift and rode it up to the common floor. The humans were sprawled along the couches, shouting at the television, and Loki spared barely a glance for them before turning to the kitchen, his stomach commenting on its empty state.
Loki paused just outside the kitchen, hearing voices. Creeping forward, he was able to make out Thor saying, "I don't understand why he would trouble himself so to bring me paintings of our sky, but refuses to work what must be a simple spell and give me a copy of one picture. It...it hurts me."
Someone made a noncommittal noise in response and Loki thought back to the humans on the couches, considered who had been missing. Stark hadn't been there, but nor had Jane or Pepper. Loki thought it was most likely Jane in the kitchen, though Pepper was a possibility.
"I don't know what to do, how to speak to him about this. He... Every time I reach out to him, he pushes me away. I just want my brother back," Thor finished, voice broken like he was fighting tears.
Outside the door, Loki's heart broke and he finally stepped forward, saying, "We cannot return to what we were, Thor, you must know that."
Thor and the other person in the kitchen jumped, and Loki was surprised to recognise Stark. "Holy shit, you're a creeper!" Stark managed around a bite of his sandwich. "How'd I manage to forget you're a creeper? You're like Clint and Natasha... Fuck, I don't need that many creepers in my tower. My heart can't take this..."
Loki ignored the human, more interested in his not-brother. "Why not?" Thor breathed and Stark let out a sharp laugh, which he buried in his sandwich, thankfully silencing his prattling.
Loki raised an eyebrow. "We are not the same as we used to be. I am–" A monster, his mind supplied, "–Jötun. Your enemy."
"My brother," Thor insisted.
"It was not so long ago you led us to Jötunheim to destroy every one of my kind," Loki reminded him, taking a sick pleasure in Thor's flinch. "Even you cannot erase nearly two millennia of hatred."
Thor was still, eyes downturned with a far more ancient pain than any of the mortals on this planet could ever hope to understand.
"Okay," Stark interrupted, startling both gods, who had forgotten his presence, "I don't do well with this whole interpersonal relations crap. In fact, there may have been a lawsuit against me once or twice to prove my failure in this department, but you two–" Stark laughed. "My God, this is like a bad soap opera. Okay, look. I don't know the history, I don't get the racial issues – honestly, I don't want to get the racial issues because, really? You people are fucked up. But. You–" he pointed at Thor, "–are pining like a love-sick teenage girl, which is more kinds of wrong than I can say, and you–" he turned his finger on Loki, "–are doing this hot-cold, PMS bullshit which is mostly disturbing and maybe a little endearing.
"Look, maybe you weren't on the comms the whole time we were taking on that dragon, but I was, and Thor got a whole fuck-lot calmer when you came on board. And the whole visiting you once a week for multiple days? Serious hell to pay from Captain Fury and his pirate crew. I swear to God, Loki, if I ever hear you say Thor doesn't love you, I will kick you out of a window myself. Possibly with an Anti-Magic Field Generator attached to your person. On that note, I will point out that you, Frosty, went to Thor and fucking cuddled with him after that Anti-Magic snafu. Which, yeah, no. You two–" he waved his finger between the staring gods, "– make me look like I have good people skills. Which, no. No. Lawsuits." He jumped off the stool he'd been sitting on. "Jesus fuck, sort this out so the rest of us can stop waiting for it to blow up in our faces; we do more than enough of that on the field." Then he stalked from the room.
Loki and Thor were silent for a long moment following Stark's exit. Thor finally cleared his throat and said, "You are not my brother in blood, but you are my brother in soul, and I am but half a man without you at my side. You told me–" His voice caught and he shook his head before trying again, Loki watching him with sharp eyes that gave nothing away, "You told me you had always stood in my shadow, but if you are my shadow, I am that which protects you from the light; I would take a million blows to save you that pain, Loki, and I am stronger with you behind me, assured that you will catch what I will always miss.
"Sometimes, in battle on Midgard, I take a hit I expected you to block, or I see green where there is nothing, and I am reminded that you are not there. I am reminded, constantly, of the space between us, this...this void of hatred that you surround yourself in, refusing the love that I would give to you, the friendship these mortals offer–" Loki scoffed. "Yes, friendship, Br–Loki," Thor insisted, determined to use the more formal address so Loki might heed him. "Jane enjoys your company, Lady Natasha and Agent Coulson appreciate your poor jokes, Tony and Bruce take pleasure in your presence. Even Steve and Lady Pepper have grown to accept you in this building, this... Clint calls it his nest, Lady Natasha a safe house, Tony and Bruce home; this is where they – where we all – rest in safety, where we come knowing there will be no danger, and they have allowed you here, have come to expect your presence. Last night, it was Lady Pepper who asked about your whereabouts, and she was not the only one upset by your lack.
"Loki, you do not need to be alone, you don't need to hide away as you had done at ho– in Asgard, these past months. And if–" Thor's voice caught again and he closed his eyes, voice quieter as he continued, "If you find such pain from my calling you 'Brother', I would stop. I would be but Thor, and you Loki, if it would ease your suffering. But, if it must be that, let me at least still call you friend, for I cannot live without you."
Loki moved then, like breaking free from a prison of ice; he embraced the elder god, and Thor clutched at him as if afraid he would lose him forever if his grip slipped, tears soaking into Loki's shirt. "Brother," Loki whispered, the taste of the word familiar and very like home, and Thor let out a sob, hands flexing at Loki's sides. "Brother, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," a bitter truth against his tongue, hating himself for still caring, for being so easily moved by Thor's pain. He pressed his face against Thor's hair, breathing him in and feeling a year of falling, days of violence, months of hatred and revenge, fading away behind a barrier of centuries, millennia, of family and safety and love.
For Loki, too, was but half a man – what was half a monster? – without Thor, without the brother he'd grown up beside, secure enough in each other's strengths to see them through battles and feasts alike. He was too open, too bare without Thor shielding him, too unfamiliar with the social graces Thor excelled at, for all that he could emulate them. It was tiring standing on his own, battling without that familiar strength beside him. And Loki needed Thor as much as Thor needed him; it was but the irony of the realms that it was Thor, for whom words had always been a bane, who had given voice to this emptiness first. Loki wanted to laugh, but then to cry, for this was both a sharp edge and a balm, this closeness, and he embraced it when he might have pushed it away, because he was tired of fighting, tired of always being so cold where he had once been warm.
Thor pulled away first, rubbing his hands over his cheeks to be rid of the evidence of his weakness. When he looked at Loki, he found his expression more open than it had been since they were boys, the edges of his broken self-image sharp in green eyes, and Thor touched Loki's cheek and whispered, "I love you, Loki. Never doubt that." An echo of their last moment together, before the dark truth of Loki's heritage destroyed everything.
Loki's mask came back up and he smiled, though there remained an honesty in the turn of his lips that eased Thor's heart. "I never could," he murmured and pressed the copy of the picture that he'd made against Thor's chest.
Thor looked down, eyebrows knit in confusion. His eyes lit up when he recognised what he'd been given and he looked up to stare at the younger god. "Loki..."
"If you destroy this one," Loki informed him with a hint of steel, "I will repair it only so I might break it over your thick skull, and then you will have to see if mortal means can heal that damage."
Thor laughed and nodded. "I will treat it with all care."
"Hn." Loki brushed past his brother – did he dare allow that familiarity again? Could he not? – and hunted down something to eat. He ended up with a salad, which Thor made a face at, but remained at his side as they moved out to the common area.
The humans all looked up and sort of stared at the two gods in silence for a long moment before Rogers said, "You healed Bruce," a strange mix of awe and pleasure in his voice.
"Brother?" Thor asked, looking at Loki with some surprise.
Loki shrugged, seemingly uncaring. "I saw the spell by chance when looking another spell up while I was in Asgard. There was no reason to leave Dr Banner to suffer when I had the solution."
Thor hugged Loki, his copy of the picture tight against Loki's chest.
"Hey, right! Aladdin!" Stark remembered. "JARVIS, put in Aladdin."
"We're watching football!" Barton complained as the television screen changed.
"Yes, but I promised Loki Aladdin, and Loki healed Bruce. Ergo, we're watching Aladdin. You get absolutely zero say in this, Rambo."
"I'm going to Rambo on your ass," Barton muttered, but made no further complaints as Loki and Thor settled into their couch. Without Jane, there was a great deal more space and Stark quickly abandoned his usual chair to wedge himself between Loki and the arm. Rolling their eyes, the two gods shifted until they were all comfortable. Across from them, Romanoff hit Barton for making kissing faces, then the film was starting and they all settled down.
Loki rather liked Jafar's style, at the start, all magic and smooth cruelty, but then Genie came on, and he was blue, with a sense of humour very like Loki's had been before his fall into the Void, throwing out spells and tricks for fun. So if Loki was more like Genie, then who was Jafar? "Doom," he said aloud.
"What?" Everyone turned to him and Stark said, "Non sequitur much?"
"Who Jafar reminds me of," Loki explained, shrugging.
"Holy shit," Barton muttered.
"I am calling him that forever," Stark decided. "No, seriously, because he can Jafar until the sun goes down, but we totally have Genie, and Genie kicks ass." He grinned at Loki. "You are the ultimate ass kicker."
"Do not tell him these things," Barton snapped. "Because then he'll think he can kick our asses, and I get enough of that from Doom and his flunkies."
"Nope, no way. Loki is totally Genie and Genie is a good guy. He's totally on Aladdin's side. And...and Steve is secretly Aladdin, and you're Abu–"
"Fuck you, Stark. I'm not some monkey."
"And I'm totally Carpet because I fly. And Natasha... Natasha can be Jasmine. Jasmine, who is secretly uber awesome and please don't kill me."
"I'm weighing the pros and cons," Romanoff said drily.
"Shut up and watch the movie. All of you," Coulson ordered.
"He's going to put us in time-out," Stark said in a stage whisper.
"Time-out, for you, involves the revoking of lab privileges."
"Shutting up!" Stark called and covered his mouth with his hands. Coulson's mouth twitched with a suppressed smile.
They finished Aladdin in silence. As the credits rolled, Romanoff said, "There are sequels, right?"
"The Return of Jafar sucked, and King of Thieves was so-so," Stark replied. "We can watch them, though, if you people want. Better Disney than men in leggings, tackling each other like some demented porno."
"Just because you don't like football–"
"Does Genie come back?" Loki asked, uncaring if he sounded hopeful.
"Uh, yeah." Stark grinned. "Yeah, okay. JARVIS, The Return of Jafar."
Banner joined them near the beginning of Aladdin and the King of Thieves, tired but healthy, and the film was paused so the humans could worry over him, pushing him into a couch and debating who would make him tea. Once everyone was settled and Rogers was ordering some form of Arab food at Stark and Barton's chorused demands, Banner said, "Loki? Thanks."
Loki nodded in response, then returned his attention to the film, which seemed enough for all of them.
The next interruption came bearing food, near the middle of the film: Pepper and Jane exited the lift, arms full of the bags of food, and JARVIS had just paused the film when Pepper recognised Banner. "Bruce! What are you doing out of bed?"
Banner smiled, less tired after the tea and laughter thanks to the film. "Loki healed me, apparently. It's like I never faced the dragons."
"Well!" Pepper smiled at Loki. "Thank you, Loki."
Loki waved the thanks off, and looked pointedly at the food the women held.
Pepper and Jane took the hint and the food was served out before they returned to the film.
When the credits rolled, Stark jumped up. "Okay! So, Loki, Gay Detector. Gimme."
"Tony," Pepper called while Loki tried to remember where he'd left the bauble on the chain Stark had given him yesterday, easily making the correlation between 'Gay Detector' and 'Gay Bridge'. (He was a little disturbed at so easily understanding the human's oddities.)
"What?" Stark made a face at her frown. "Oh, come on, Pep. They call the thing the 'Rainbow Bridge'. That's so asking for it. They're practically dancing along in tutus, carrying axes. So gay."
"Tony, we've talked about this."
"Okay, that–that is PC for this crowd. Have you heard the things that come out of Clint's mouth? Or Thor's? Yeah, I can get away with Gay Detector. My tower, my rules. I win." He turned back to Loki as most of the others snickered, Coulson and Pepper looked resigned, and Rogers and Thor looked confused. "My Gay Detector. Come on, genius to work!"
"I believe I left it downstairs," Loki decided, a vague memory of setting it on the edge of his bathroom sink coming to mind.
"Of course you did. Okay, cool. Go, shoo. I will be in the lab. The big lab, mind, because Astro Girl might be interested. Gay Bridge readings. Awesome," he added to Jane.
Loki teleported before Jane could make a response. He grimaced upon appearing, reminded that his magic was low. Not as low as it had been when he'd been stuck a day without it, but low enough to make teleporting a less than optimal way to get around.
"Are you well, Loki?" JARVIS asked. "I'm reading your magical–"
"I am aware of my status," Loki replied, tone sharper than he'd intended. He took a breath, then said, "I apologise. The concern is appreciated, but unnecessary."
"If your levels get any lower, I am required to notify Sir, Agent Coulson, and Thor," JARVIS informed him.
"If my levels get any lower, Thor will figure it out himself," Loki muttered, going in search of the necklace.
Stark was waiting for him when Loki stepped out of the lift on the floor of the main lab. "It's never a good sign when you use the elevator," he commented as he held the door open for Loki.
"Healing magic is draining, and I am unpractised with it," Loki said by way of explanation, holding out the necklace.
"And you teleported between here and New Mexico twice yesterday, plus whatever crap you pulled in Asgard," Stark commented. "Are you going to be stuck without magic tomorrow?"
"Unlikely," Loki replied, unconcerned, before nodding at the necklace. "I should be interested to see what your science has gathered."
"Yeah? Sure." Stark led the way around a number of tables to where Jane was crouched over a tablet, invisible from the door. She smiled at Loki, a flash of concern in her eyes, but focussed on Stark when he pulled over some sort of base for the bauble and plugged it in. "At double time, I think, to begin, JARVIS."
A hologram appeared above the technology, showing an odd sort of constant nothingness with a fairly constant triangle of light blue moving around. Shortly, a larger form of blue, shot through with gold threads and sparkling with hints of green approached, and the image moved to rest close to the blue form.
"Holy shit," Jane whispered in realisation. "JARVIS, pause."
"Cool," Stark said, head cocked as he eyed the image. "You're very blue, Loki."
"Jötun," Loki reminded him absently, staring at the image. It was one thing to know his magic was there, another to see it through the eyes of something that saw only magic. "And that?" he wondered, motioning towards the small triangle of pale blue next to his form.
"Huh. That's the arc reactor. Go figure." When Loki frowned at him, Stark tapped the outline of a circle on his shirt and it sounded like the failed possession. "Keeps me alive. I had to create a new element because the old one was killing me, and I guess it reads close enough to your magical energy for the Gay Detector to pick it up."
"Does that mean your arc reactor is gay?" Jane enquired sweetly.
"My arc reactor defies labels, sweetheart," Stark returned without missing a beat, "just like the rest of me. Right! JARVIS, go."
The image continued with little movement for a moment before there was a flash of green. When the green faded, the triangle of pale blue had vanished, but there was a slightly distant form of silver and pale blue that recalled Mjölnir and a nearer human-shaped form that was shot through with streaks of gold, a ball of silver where one's heart might be.
"Is that..."
"Thor," Loki recognised. In the vision of this technology, it's a wonder he could ever have believed himself to be of relation to Thor, for their magical essence was nothing alike.
"Freeze," Stark requested, shifting against the edge of the table where he'd been leaning. "Okay. So, getting slightly off topic here. Loki, you look like you fucking are magic, but Thor's, well, not. Also, what's the gold?"
Loki considered that for a moment, watching the frozen image of himself and Thor. "It is likely to be a product of our immortality. I will know for certain once the image shows Asgard."
"Immortality is gold, got it," Stark muttered. "I'd guess your blue, then, is Jötun magic?"
"A reasonable assumption."
"And the green?"
Loki was silent for a moment, considering, before slowly saying, "I am...uncertain."
"When you teleported, it was green," Jane pointed out, "and you've always thought you were an Æsir, right? So you would be using Æsir magic, assuming there's a difference?"
"There is," Loki assured her. "It is as sensible an explanation as any other."
"So why aren't you shot through with green? Or have a green ball of light, like Thor's got silver?" Stark wondered. "By the way, that's from the hammer?"
"I believe so," Loki agreed to the latter question. "As for the green... It's possible it only appears when the magic is in spell form."
"Or it's blue because you were born with Jötun magic, and the green happens when you translate it into Asgardian magic," Stark realised. "That... That makes a really strange sort of sense, actually. Thanks." He paused. "Why are you sparkling?"
"My clothing have spells woven in to change shape with me, so I don't constantly destroy outfits when I wish to appear as someone else."
"Bruce would kill for a spell for that, just saying," Stark replied and Loki smirked. "Okay, JARVIS, go."
They watched as Loki's form changed, the blue magic shifting with him to take on the outline of Thor. "Cool," Stark said, grinning, and Jane hummed in agreement. When Loki's image called for one of his staffs, a circle of blue appeared in the air and a bright green stick appeared before the circle vanished.
"What was that?" Stark asked as the stick brightened, but didn't change shape, though Loki and Jane both knew the shape had changed in reality.
"Magical space," Loki explained. "A sort of pocket of non-space that stays close to my body; I store things in them. I had not realised that magic was Jötun-based." There were a number of things he hadn't known about his magic, Loki was realising, like how the staff retained its magical shape while its physical shape changed, but Loki's magic changed shape with him. He was glad he'd requested to stay and watch.
"I need one of those," Stark muttered.
There came the green flash of teleportation again, and they were in a barren nothingness, lit only by the now-familiar blue, green, and gold form of Loki. Above them started a sudden swirling of gold – the storm that heralded the arrival of the Bifröst, Loki knew – which was then shot through with a rainbow of colours, which streamed around the image as it travelled.
"This," Jane said and the image paused inside the rainbow of magic. "I need every reading your box picked up while it was inside the Bifröst."
"I will copy it into a separate document in your personal folders, Dr Foster," JARVIS replied.
"Good. Thanks, JARVIS."
The image resumed movement, remaining in the rainbow of magic for long moments before it stopped in a golden dome. A figure shot through with the same gold as Loki and Thor was behind Loki, holding a bronze sword. The figure had bronze magic sparkling where their eyes and ears would be and Loki pre-empted any coming questions by say, "Heimdall, the guardian of the Bifröst. He sees and hears all things."
"Real voyeur, then?" Stark suggested.
Loki frowned at him. "I would not know. I have never been inclined to ask what he watches; Heimdall and I have never been friends."
Stark looked as though he might have a response to that, but decided to hold his tongue, in the end.
The hologram showed Loki's magical form climbing onto...nothing. "Horse," he said for the humans, who nodded in understanding. And then they left the golden dome, travelling along a pathway that shone gold with streaks of other colours intermingled, towards a glowing gold and silver city.
"Holy fuck. The whole city is magical?" Tony demanded, staring at the image as the buildings grew closer.
"Are you truly surprised by that?" Loki wondered, amused.
"Okay, I probably shouldn't be, because you people are nuts. Also, Thor seems to think magic is the same as our science and technology, and we run that through everything. But still. What's it all for?"
"Structural integrity, for the most part, I would think," Loki commented, tilting his head to one side. "Likely a number of protection spells of one sort or another on most of the buildings, in case of invasion. Some buildings sparkle to catch the eye, or glow unnaturally."
"I'm giving up on understanding you people," Stark decided.
"The sentiment is mutual," Loki returned drily and Stark flashed him a shit-eating grin.
For the most part, the only magic the Æsir showed was the gold streaks, which Loki determined were definitely the sign of their immortality. Some had touches of magic, such as the silver over Thor's heart, or the bronze at Heimdall's ears and eyes, but only the Allfather had magic anything like Loki's full-body blue glow, though his was silver with hints of shining black.
Frigga, Loki had been pleased to note, had magic of a similar shade to his Asgardian green, which lit her eyes, mouth, and hands, showing her skills with her spinning wheel and unspoken prophecy. While his mother had always been inclined more towards yellow and gold, she'd been fond of green, which was part of the reason Loki had favoured the colour. Thor had teased him more than once, when they were boys, for being a 'Mama's Boy', but Frigga had put a stop to that before it became one of Thor's bad habits. (To be fair, Loki had started it when he caught Thor covering one eye and attempting to look stern, calling his brother 'Father's Clone', but he hadn't derived much pleasure from it and so had only used the comment twice; Thor had kept on for a good week.)
When asked about various persons or objects, Loki answered, but he otherwise was content to watch the images playing over the table. It was, perhaps, a bit odd to be watching him relive the previous day, but the changed view made all the difference.
It wasn't until Frigga did a small magical trick at dinner – she'd done it to get both Loki and Odin to laugh, tired with their grim expressions – that Loki noticed something that had completely slipped his attention. "JARVIS, pause," he requested, straightening from his poor posture on the stool he sat on.
"What?" Stark asked, blinking in confusion. "What do you see?"
Loki leaned forward and disrupted the image slightly to point at where tendrils of magic from the ground were seeping up and through Frigga, fading to the yellow-green of her cast magic. "I have never before become so easily exhausted from using magic as I have during my stay here."
"You draw magic from your surroundings to augment your own," Stark realised, straightening. "Shit. Well. Thor was saying you're a downright horror in battle, but you were low after two days here and I thought, 'Hey, maybe I'm working him too hard, or those illusions are more draining than battle magic' but, maybe not?"
Loki shook his head. "It is not something I notice myself doing, but it does explain the drain." He slumped back against the table top, disgusted. "It is our law for magicians to always carry staffs when taking part in battles in other realms if we intend to utilise a great deal of magic. I thought it was because the staffs strengthen spells, but it's more likely they serve as a power source when away from Asgard."
"Do the Jötun use staffs?" Jane asked, turning away from the image and towards a coffee maker a couple steps behind her. "Mr Stark?" she added, holding up some mugs, "Loki?"
"Please," Stark agreed.
"I don't care for coffee," Loki replied to her offer, then, thoughtfully, "They don't, that I know. But most of their magic is ice-based, which Jötunheim is made almost entirely of, so they may not require much energy to do spells that otherwise would prove difficult."
"And you seem to have some affect on temperature," Stark recalled. "Jane, is there still hot chocolate over there?"
Loki glanced back over at the woman, hopeful, and she laughed at his expression. "Yeah, there's a couple packs. Loki, did you want some?"
"Please," he replied and she pulled back down the mug she'd just put away. "I am familiar with Jötun magic, but I have cast very little of it, due to the politics between the Jötun and Æsir. Depending on what they draw excess magic from, assuming they do so at all, I may find it easier to manage. There is also the Midgardian variation, which may prove more sensible, given where we are."
"You can try all of them with the Gay Detector recording and we can see if we spot any differences," Stark suggested. "Tomorrow, maybe. Thanks," he added as Jane returned with the drinks.
"Thank you, Lady Jane," Loki offered. "Yes, that might prove an interesting experiment, though we may need to hold off an extra day, so I might further study Midgardian magic."
"I can do that," Stark agreed. "JARVIS, let's go."
The hologram resumed and they settled in to finish the day. Other than Jane again requesting that JARVIS send her the readings of the Bifröst – "Double the readings means double the tests, and things might look different depending on the direction you're travelling," she'd defended when Stark laughed – there was nothing really of interest and they'd sped through it. Stark did get an odd look on his face when they continued on to the next day, watching Loki sit in one of his chairs with a faintly gleaming purple book after Thor's visit, but he didn't say anything.
After the hologram flicked out, the three of them remained against the table for a long moment, as if trying to remember how to move.
"It's two in the morning," Jane realised, glancing at the timepiece on her wrist. "Christ." She pushed away from the table, almost tripping as she dropped from the stool to the ground, but catching herself with the air of one long practised at finding her legs after a long time spent off them. "Good night, gentlemen."
"I, too, require sleep," Loki commented, slipping off his stool and moving as if he hadn't been stationary for seven hours.
"You two go ahead," Stark mumbled, waving his hand for a holographic screen to appear next to him.
"Lady Jane," Loki murmured, motioning the woman to go ahead.
"And they say chivalry is dead," Jane said with a laugh as she took the lead through the maze of tables and half-completed metal figures.
"Chivalry is an important part of any court function," Loki informed her smoothly. "And, for all Thor and my actions to the contrary, we remain princes." Though, he added silently, whether the Jötun would appreciate such manners in their prince is another matter entirely.
"Captain Rogers is rather chivalrous, too," Jane commented, "and Bruce has his moments, when he's not distracted by something. Agent Coulson...well, he's polite, but it's that sort of 'I'm thinking up six different ways I can kill you without getting blood on my suit' way." Jane laughed a bit nervously and Loki smiled in amusement. "Clint and Mr Stark, though, they wouldn't know chivalry if it kicked them in the head."
"That could be arranged," Loki offered innocently and Jane laughed, eyes bright.
They traded wishes for a pleasant sleep at Loki's floor, then Jane continued down on her own. Loki didn't spare but a faint thought for his preparations for sleep, but he stopped short when he started to climb into his bed, eyes lighting on the picture of himself and Thor. He stared at it for a moment, heartbeat loud in his ears, before he allowed a sad smile. "Good night, Brother," he murmured and finished getting into bed. "Lights, JARVIS," he called and the room fell dark.
-0-
Loki spent the day locked away with his books, refreshing his scant knowledge of Jötun magic – he had only the one book, and he'd dithered over whether to bring it from Asgard, only slipping it into the bag at the end because Frigga had been there and he'd had the sudden urge to keep her from seeing it –, and further studying Midgardian magic. Only JARVIS' insistent badgering reminded him to eat lunch and leave for dinner on time, saving Thor the trouble of dragging him up.
Barton insisted on Mission Impossible to go with the pizza he'd ordered, so they settled in with the pile of boxes and watched explosions on the television. It was an unusual way for Loki to unwind after a day spent buried in books, but it seemed to work far better than the rambunctious parties Thor would drag him to some hours after Loki had missed supper, for all the similarities.
As the credits rolled, Stark and Barton got into an argument about whether to watch the second film of the series – humans had difficulty leaving films where they ended, Loki was learning – or something 'less secret agent', which Barton won when Romanoff and Thor backed him. When Stark looked around for an ally, Loki had smirked and asked if he'd please pass the box of Hawaiian next to him, and no one else would meet his eyes, too busy hiding their amusement behind pizza.
As JARVIS changed discs, Rogers said, "Before we start the next movie, I heard about a charity auction–"
"Here we go," Stark muttered before taking an angry bite of pepperoni pizza.
"–designated to raise money for abused children," Rogers continued, as if Stark hadn't spoken. "I think it would be a good opportunity for all of us to show our support for a good cause."
"Your support," Barton insisted, grimacing. "Cap, we don't all have to go–"
"We're all going," Coulson said evenly. Barton moaned while Stark got up and walked over to the bar against the far wall. "What day?"
"Friday night," Rogers replied, beaming. "Thanks, Phil. This means a lot to me."
"I understand," Coulson returned with a smooth smile.
"Gag me," Barton muttered to Romanoff, who rolled her eyes.
Stark dropped back into his seat with a glass of some form of alcohol and an opened bottle. He passed the latter to Barton, who nodded his thanks, and asked, "So, are we including Loki in this blanket 'all'? Or are we forcing him to hang with the angry pirates in the sky while we play at good citizens?"
There was an uncertain stillness at that question and the humans all turned to look at Loki, who raised his eyebrows at them.
"I volunteer to keep him company here," Stark added, smiling winningly. "I will stick my neck out, take one for the team–"
"You are full of more shit than the sewers," Barton said with a snort. "You? Taking one for the team? I may puke."
"Hey, I gave you beer," Stark reminded him. "Two hours, no snarking, or I will revoke all alcohol privileges."
"Did you not ensure Loki had garments to wear to a charity function?" Thor interrupted.
"Oh. Yeah. Forgot about that," Stark lied into his glass.
"Loki would cause a panic if he was seen in New York," Rogers said.
"He would," Romanoff realised, "but she wouldn't."
"Forgot about that," Rogers admitted before looking at Coulson. "Do you think Director Fury will approve it?"
Coulson shrugged. "Loki's track record so far speaks well; other than the argument with Clint and snooping through some of SHIELD's files via JARVIS' connection–" he shot a glare at Stark, who flashed him a shit-eating grin, "–he's been the picture of innocence." He frowned at Loki, who wore a politely incurious mask. "Which is suspicious in and of itself, but it shows he's capable of behaving. And if he's there with the entire team, any concerns about civilian safety will be minimal. As long as you stay with one of the Avengers the entire time," he added to Loki.
"Loki'll be my eye candy," Stark immediately insisted. "Pepper's in Spain until Sunday, so I have no one else to keep my arm warm. Unless you want me bringing back some pretty girl–"
"That won't be necessary," Coulson interrupted while Rogers grimaced and Barton rolled his eyes. "Loki?"
"It is a preferable alternative to, how was it you put it, Stark? 'Four hours locked up with my babysitting squad'?"
"Sounds accurate," Stark agreed cheerfully.
"I'll run it by the director, then," Coulson decided. "Unless you pull something particularly nasty between now and Friday evening, I don't see any reason why you couldn't attend."
"If only to keep Stark from bringing back some bimbo," Barton agreed.
"Pretty girl," Stark corrected.
"JARVIS, movie," Coulson called and they shut up to watch more explosions.
-0-
Thursday was spent with Loki, Stark, Banner, and Jane in the main lab, testing various magical languages and using the Gay Detector to observe what the magic was really doing.
The Asgardian magic definitely drew from other sources – Loki pulled out one of his staffs so they could see for sure what was going on there – rather than from the caster. Banner, after watching for a while and having been caught up on the Gay Detector's images, suggested that Asgardian magic didn't draw so much from the caster as from the surroundings, which is what enabled an average Æsir to cast magic when they, themselves, usually only had their immortality and maybe a couple gifts. The exhaustion for a normal Æsir likely came from when they either used up all of whatever source they were feeding from, or their body was no longer able to process the foreign magic. Loki, meanwhile, had his own store of magic, which gave him more magic to draw from than just his staffs or surroundings, though the magical exhaustion left him in a far more dangerous state than an average magic-user.
Jötun magic drew entirely from the caster and – after running some tests suggested by Stark – was smoother when the air was colder; turning the air conditioning all the way up in the lab enabled Loki to cast a series of spells with far less drain on his magic than when it was a comfortable temperature for the humans. Loki could also cast more spells of the Jötun variety than he could of the Asgardian variety while using the same amount of his personal magic, and Banner suggested that was because Loki's Jötun magic was not meant to translate into Asgardian spells, and some of the energy was lost in the process.
Midgardian spells drew, oddly enough, from a different form of energy entirely, one that Stark's sensors weren't set to recognise. After a break to recalibrate everything, they discovered that the Midgardian magic drew from a sort of energy that rested in the air. Stark thought it might be radio waves, Banner suggested it was more likely some form of thermal radiation that leaked through the planet's ozone layer, Jane guessed it was a by-product of the planet breaking down matter.
Whatever it was, Loki could pretty much guarantee that it was something that only existed on their planet, having never sensed any such element in his past travels – though he made a note to test and make sure next time he went home, perhaps even travelling to another realm to test there, if the Allfather would give his allowance. "It explains the taste of your magic," Loki commented.
"Taste," Stark repeated drily. "Okay, I'll give you that your spells can look or feel or whatever like it's got sharp edges and shit, but now we're tasting it?"
"Do you not use multiple senses for your science?" Loki replied. "Do you not taste an element going into an experiment to ensure it is correct? Or touch it, to feel the texture?"
"So, what does Earth magic taste like?" Jane asked curiously before Stark could sort out a response.
"It tastes like nature," Loki said, smiling easily as he drew some of the Midgardian energy into a spell to grow a flower in his cupped palms. "Like a flower just opened, or freshly fallen rain."
"Based against the magic you're used to, it's pretty young, right?" Banner asked.
"That's correct. But there is also...there is more of nature on this world, more trees and new earth, than on most other worlds in the Nine Realms, and that shows in your magic." Loki held the flower out to Jane, who took it with a smile. "It is refreshing, I admit, and not entirely as unpleasant as I might have expected, knowing your race as I do."
"You're being disturbingly candid today," Stark muttered. "Also, smiling. We've talked about this."
"Magic makes me smile. Do you not also smile after many hours working with your suit?" Loki returned.
"Oh, he does," Banner assured them, smiling faintly when Stark glared at him. "You start whistling, Tony. Cheerfully. It's like, six parts amusing, three parts disturbing, and one part Twilight Zone."
"We're ignoring Bruce, now," Stark declared and Banner chuckled. "Loki! What's the likelihood of Jafar having access to other forms of magic?"
"Unlikely," Loki decided. "Especially given what we've discovered regarding what energies the spells feed off of."
"Cool. I think..." Stark pushed his rolling chair away from the table they had settled at to watch the Gay Detector, darting between tables with coordinated pushes until he reached one at the other end of the room. "Anti-Magic Field Two Point Oh," he called back as he pulled an object from a pile of metal, sending things clanging every which way. "If I can find a way to limit access to the Earth energy for spells, that shouldn't affect you, right?"
"In theory," Loki allowed.
"I like turning theory into reality," Stark replied as he started pushing his way back over to them, the object he'd collected resting in his lap. Once he reached their table, he placed the object on it, showing it to be a dirty, spherical object with a couple wires and knobs poking out at odd angles. "This is the AMF, Mark I," he informed them, and Loki made an effort not to push away from the table. "Yeah, it's unplugged right now," Stark promised, pointing at a loose wire, and Loki relaxed, noticing a frown on Banner's face smoothing over.
"So," Stark continued, assured that no one would freak out at him bringing his tech over, "I see two ways I can make this thing usable against Jafar and his flock of Iagos: I can make a sort of personal field for Loki and Thor that negates the effects of the AMF, or I can redesign it to only block the Earth energy. Making personal fields means Jafar knows there's a way around it, and if an Iago gets inside the personal field, it will still work. Making an AMF Mark II means we'll have to plan for Jafar discovering another way to run his magic toys. Which, given what we know, probably won't be so easy. Also, less of a threat for Loki and Thor."
"I'm liking the Mark II idea better," Banner commented. "Although, safely testing it should prove interesting." He glanced at Loki, who grimaced.
"Not so interesting," Stark insisted. "Thor can't call his hammer to him while the AMF Mark I is active, so if he can call it with the AMF Mark II active, it should be safe. That it feeds off an entirely different energy source is helpful, that the energy source is fucking everywhere is less so, but I can work with this. But you–" he pointed at Loki, "–had best move to the lower floors while I'm working on this. After I'm sure it's safe for Thor, we can test it with you, then see if you can still use the human magic. Good?"
Loki shrugged and nodded. "If Barton isn't there, I can remain on Thor and Lady Jane's floor."
"Thor would love it if you spent time with him," Jane immediately chimed in. "I mean, Mr Stark would need him eventually, but the thing has to be built, first..."
"Thor's version of 'spending time together' usually involves some form of knocking heads together," Loki replied drily as he stood. "But I will see if he is inclined towards my company all the same. JARVIS, where is my brother?"
"Thor, Captain Rogers, and Agent Romanoff are currently in the gym."
"Of course he is," Loki muttered as he left the lab. He stopped by his rooms long enough to collect one of his magic books, then continued down to the gym.
Romanoff and Rogers were circling each other when Loki arrived, Thor sitting to one side and poking at a long cut along his forearm. Loki stalked over to his brother and smacked his hand away, then cast a Midgardian variation of a simple healing spell, assisting Thor's body in healing the damage.
Thor grinned at him. "Welcome, Brother. Have you completed your tests?"
"After a fashion," Loki replied, calling a chair over from the far wall for him to sit in. "Stark is working on his Anti-Magic Field, so I have been, once again, ordered to the lower floors."
Thor considered that for a moment, then, "Would you like to spar?"
"Why would I wish anything of the–"
"You can use magic," Thor hurried to add.
Loki allowed a slow smile and stood, leaving his book on his chair. "In that case..."
Thor sighed and joined him, the two humans clearing the floor for the gods and standing back to watch. Thor knew most of Loki's tricks, but Loki had learned some new ones while lost in the Void, not to mention his sudden skills with ice magic, and the elder brother soon enough found himself outmatched. "Though," he promised to Loki's smug expression, "not defeated. You will run out of new tricks soon enough, Brother."
Loki laughed and returned to his book, turning down further offers to spar and splitting his attention between the three who took turns on the mats and his reading. He remained down there even after Thor was called up to the lab, debating knife styles with Romanoff and commenting on the oddities of the modern world with Rogers.
When Loki went upstairs to test the new Anti-Magic Field – which worked about how Stark had hoped, though there was some usual resistance when he drew energy from a staff to cast the Asgardian way – he felt disturbingly like he fit in with these misfits. And even as a part of him wanted to see them choking on their own blood still, a greater part was pleased. Because Loki had never before felt like he belonged as much as he did in this tower, amongst these once-enemies, and – Jötun or Æsir – all he'd ever really wanted was to fit in.
-0-
-0-
A/N: Loki feels. Exploding... *ded*
~Bats ^.^x
The Shattered Glass Series:
Whatever Lies Beyond This Morning
Like So Much Shattered Glass Chapters:
One | Two | Three | Four | Five |Six | Seven
Rough Edges Chapters:
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven
Christmas Tunes
..
Chapter: 6 of 7
Fandom: Marvel (movie 'verse)
Author: Batsutousai
Beta: Shara Lunison
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Tony Stark/Loki Odinson(Laufeyson), canon
Warnings: Spoilers for The Avengers (2012) and prequel films, angst of the self-hate variety,
Summary: Loki thought to break the Avengers, one man at a time, before killing them. His plans had never involved being broken in return.
A/N: There a bit of a technical look at magic in this chapter, which I blame almost entirely on my Harry Potter background and the urge to know how magic works in this world. So, sorry in advance if anyone gets lost?
I was gonna wait to put this up until tomorrow night – I'm having surgery Tuesday and a pile of reviews is just what the doctor ordered XD – but I'm off to a #ProjectWendy meet-up and figured, if I'm off having fun and not writing, at least you lot can be reading. So. Chapter.
Loki made himself breakfast in his rooms the next morning, intent on putting up the things Frigga had found for him. He'd also had JARVIS order him a bookcase for his magic books, which JARVIS had promised shouldn't take more than an hour to arrive.
When JARVIS informed him the furniture had arrived, Loki changed his face just enough to make him less recognisable, then took the lift down to collect it. When he returned to his floor, he found that Thor had invaded, looking like he'd just woken. "Good morning, Brother," he offered as he dragged the bookcase in. "Mother asked me to wish you well."
Thor smiled. "She and Father are well?"
"As well as ever," Loki assured him. "The Warriors Three and Lady Sif are on quest in Svartálfaheim for another couple days, so I did not see them."
"It is likely for the best," Thor admitted tiredly. "They would know you for certain, and I didn't tell them that you might wear my form."
"If the Allfather is wise, he will warn them before six days have again passed," Loki muttered.
Thor laughed. "The All-Knowing said you had some things for me?"
"Hm?" Loki glanced back from his consideration of the new bookcase. "Ah, yes." He motioned and the four pictures he and Frigga had found appeared on the floor next to Thor. "Mother helped pick them out," he said as Thor looked through them.
Thor smiled up at him. "Thank her when you return?" he requested and Loki nodded. "These are perfect, Brother. Thank you."
Loki snorted, waving for his bag of books to come to him. "Good. Now leave me to my studies."
Thor laughed and got to his feet, pausing to stretch. "Do not get so lost that I have to gather you again, Loki," he warned as the younger god started pulling out books and setting them on the shelves. Loki grunted in response and Thor shook his head in fond amusement. He was just pressing the button for the lift when Loki let out a sound somewhere between surprise and pain. "Brother?!" he called turning back to Loki in concern.
Loki had his bag held loose in one hand, the picture of him and Thor as children held in the other. It must have slipped between the books he'd been packing to bring back to Midgard without his notice. It was entirely unexpected and he was no more certain how to handle its existence now than he had been on Asgard.
Thor strode over, more concerned for Loki's silence. When he recognised the picture, he let out a sound of surprise and touched the edge.
Loki immediately snatched it away from Thor's hand, snarling, "This one is mine, you great oaf! You don't get to break it!"
Thor blinked in surprise, then let out a loud laugh, remembering a much younger Loki saying the same thing shortly after Thor had accidentally broken his own copy of the picture and then tried talking Loki into giving him his. "I won't break it, Brother," he soothed. "And, if I did, you could easily fix it, I think."
"That's not the point," Loki muttered, holding the picture against his chest protectively.
Thor held up his hands in a gesture of peace, smiling in response to Loki's narrow-eyed suspicion. When Loki relaxed, hold on the picture less protective, Thor asked, "Could you form a copy?" It was a question he'd asked in the past and Loki had always been quick to change the subject, enjoying having the only copy other than Frigga's. Thor had never given up asking, had never bothered going to their mother, though she would have happily had a copy made, because what he wanted was for Loki to make the copy, to fix what Thor had broken in a fit of pique over some stupid fight or another.
Now, more than ever, Thor needed Loki to make him that copy. Now, when every interaction between them was fraught with the shattered remains of centuries of lies and a family torn asunder.
Loki stared blankly at Thor for a long moment before turning away and commenting, "You were leaving."
Thor let out a pained breath and turned to return to the lift, held open by JARVIS. "Yes," he agreed quietly.
Loki remained still, staring down at the picture, for long after the lift doors had fallen shut and the motorised noise accompanying its movement retreated. He knew what the picture meant to Thor, knew that he had never asked Frigga for a copy – she'd mentioned it in passing some centuries ago, after Loki had, again, refused Thor's request –, knew that it might heal some of the distance between them.
But Loki had come to Midgard to destroy his not-brother and the humans. His every thought in the months since his failed take-over had been of his planned revenge, of seeing Thor and Stark and Barton and all the others break.
But now...but now...
Loki clenched his hand around the picture, then forced himself to relax his hold and set it on an empty shelf of the bookcase. Forced himself to continue putting his books up calmly, to ignore the anger and the broken scream that wanted free.
Thor wanted Loki to make him a copy of his picture. It was the simplest of spells, one Loki had learned with the intention of doing that exact thing as a gift for his not-brother shortly after Thor had broken his copy; he had no explanation for why he'd never done so.
But Loki remembered sitting on the throne of Asgard, struggling to prove himself worthy of that throne in spite of his monster's heritage, and laying under Mjölnir on the bridge while Thor cried for the monsters he'd once have been happy to see dead. He remembered meeting Thor on Midgard, his anger on the behalf of mortals, his insistence that Loki – Jötun, monster, his own father's murderer – was still his brother, when they were nothing. Thor's thoughts were forever now for a mortal woman, his mourning was for her, not the monster he claimed relation to, and Loki had known that, had been so very certain.
And then there were the months Loki sat in silence, forgotten and starved in a cave. Thor had come, then, had trickled water against his stitched lips to quench Loki's parched throat as much as could, had brought a balm to soothe the damage to his lips, and spoken of battles and the pranks of children. Thor had foresworn his mortal woman to spend time with Loki, and Loki–
Loki wanted to forget that kindness. He wanted to be able to hate Thor. Forever the bright son, the perfect son, the king-to-be. He who wielded the great Mjölnir and felled enemies by the thousands in battle, who stopped in the market to laugh with stall-keep and noble alike, who everyone loved and would scream his name like a prayer.
Loki had always been the shadow, the second son with colouring completely foreign to the family line, the boy who wielded magic like he'd been born to it and scorned the sword. He who hid in battle, his copies tricking enemies into looking the wrong way while he stabbed them in the back. He who walked through the market ignored, who slipped apples from stalls without notice and dropped them into the shadows where beggars curled, eyes haunted and forever watching – Loki's unspoken army of cutthroats and thieves, liars all.
Loki touched his picture, blinking back tears, and the magic curled around his fingers, uncertain, before finally, after over a thousand years of holding back, releasing.
Loki gathered his old picture, leaving the new copy on his bookcase, and carried it into his room. Some clever spellwork gave it a stand and he stood it on the small table that sat, empty, next to his bed. He stood and stared at it for a long moment, mind blank and uncertain, before finally turning and pulling out his book on healing magic. It had been over a millennium since he'd last had any use for it, and he needed time to study it before he would dare to try anything on Banner's mortal body.
Loki didn't lose himself in his magic studies: the copied picture was set just at the corner of his vision, a constant reminder of his indecision.
Finally, determining that enough time had passed, Loki snapped his book shut and rose to put it away. His hand hovered uncertainly for a moment over the picture before he motioned and it slipped into one of his magic spaces, in easy reach should he decide to give it to Thor.
"JARVIS," he called as he made for the lift, "is there anyone currently with Dr Banner?"
"There is not," JARVIS replied. "He has been sleeping peacefully for almost six hours now, and I request you avoid waking him."
"I will endeavour to do so," Loki promised as he took the lift up a floor to Banner's rooms. He moved around the personal lab and back to Banner's bedroom without pausing, familiar enough with the layout to know where he was going. As JARVIS had said, the human lay in his bed, chest rising and falling in sleep, though the movement was sharp with dulled pain.
Loki stopped next to Banner's bed and held his hand just above the man's chest, nearly touching as he breathed in. He shaped his magic into the healing spells he'd just learned, pushing them into the burns that stood, too red, against Banner's fragile skin. As Loki watched, the colour paled and blisters faded away smoothly. Banner's breathing eased, the pain killers soothing whatever residual pain remained.
Loki finally stepped away, his magic more depleted than he would have liked, but pleased with his work.
JARVIS was notably silent as Loki returned to the lift and rode it up to the common floor. The humans were sprawled along the couches, shouting at the television, and Loki spared barely a glance for them before turning to the kitchen, his stomach commenting on its empty state.
Loki paused just outside the kitchen, hearing voices. Creeping forward, he was able to make out Thor saying, "I don't understand why he would trouble himself so to bring me paintings of our sky, but refuses to work what must be a simple spell and give me a copy of one picture. It...it hurts me."
Someone made a noncommittal noise in response and Loki thought back to the humans on the couches, considered who had been missing. Stark hadn't been there, but nor had Jane or Pepper. Loki thought it was most likely Jane in the kitchen, though Pepper was a possibility.
"I don't know what to do, how to speak to him about this. He... Every time I reach out to him, he pushes me away. I just want my brother back," Thor finished, voice broken like he was fighting tears.
Outside the door, Loki's heart broke and he finally stepped forward, saying, "We cannot return to what we were, Thor, you must know that."
Thor and the other person in the kitchen jumped, and Loki was surprised to recognise Stark. "Holy shit, you're a creeper!" Stark managed around a bite of his sandwich. "How'd I manage to forget you're a creeper? You're like Clint and Natasha... Fuck, I don't need that many creepers in my tower. My heart can't take this..."
Loki ignored the human, more interested in his not-brother. "Why not?" Thor breathed and Stark let out a sharp laugh, which he buried in his sandwich, thankfully silencing his prattling.
Loki raised an eyebrow. "We are not the same as we used to be. I am–" A monster, his mind supplied, "–Jötun. Your enemy."
"My brother," Thor insisted.
"It was not so long ago you led us to Jötunheim to destroy every one of my kind," Loki reminded him, taking a sick pleasure in Thor's flinch. "Even you cannot erase nearly two millennia of hatred."
Thor was still, eyes downturned with a far more ancient pain than any of the mortals on this planet could ever hope to understand.
"Okay," Stark interrupted, startling both gods, who had forgotten his presence, "I don't do well with this whole interpersonal relations crap. In fact, there may have been a lawsuit against me once or twice to prove my failure in this department, but you two–" Stark laughed. "My God, this is like a bad soap opera. Okay, look. I don't know the history, I don't get the racial issues – honestly, I don't want to get the racial issues because, really? You people are fucked up. But. You–" he pointed at Thor, "–are pining like a love-sick teenage girl, which is more kinds of wrong than I can say, and you–" he turned his finger on Loki, "–are doing this hot-cold, PMS bullshit which is mostly disturbing and maybe a little endearing.
"Look, maybe you weren't on the comms the whole time we were taking on that dragon, but I was, and Thor got a whole fuck-lot calmer when you came on board. And the whole visiting you once a week for multiple days? Serious hell to pay from Captain Fury and his pirate crew. I swear to God, Loki, if I ever hear you say Thor doesn't love you, I will kick you out of a window myself. Possibly with an Anti-Magic Field Generator attached to your person. On that note, I will point out that you, Frosty, went to Thor and fucking cuddled with him after that Anti-Magic snafu. Which, yeah, no. You two–" he waved his finger between the staring gods, "– make me look like I have good people skills. Which, no. No. Lawsuits." He jumped off the stool he'd been sitting on. "Jesus fuck, sort this out so the rest of us can stop waiting for it to blow up in our faces; we do more than enough of that on the field." Then he stalked from the room.
Loki and Thor were silent for a long moment following Stark's exit. Thor finally cleared his throat and said, "You are not my brother in blood, but you are my brother in soul, and I am but half a man without you at my side. You told me–" His voice caught and he shook his head before trying again, Loki watching him with sharp eyes that gave nothing away, "You told me you had always stood in my shadow, but if you are my shadow, I am that which protects you from the light; I would take a million blows to save you that pain, Loki, and I am stronger with you behind me, assured that you will catch what I will always miss.
"Sometimes, in battle on Midgard, I take a hit I expected you to block, or I see green where there is nothing, and I am reminded that you are not there. I am reminded, constantly, of the space between us, this...this void of hatred that you surround yourself in, refusing the love that I would give to you, the friendship these mortals offer–" Loki scoffed. "Yes, friendship, Br–Loki," Thor insisted, determined to use the more formal address so Loki might heed him. "Jane enjoys your company, Lady Natasha and Agent Coulson appreciate your poor jokes, Tony and Bruce take pleasure in your presence. Even Steve and Lady Pepper have grown to accept you in this building, this... Clint calls it his nest, Lady Natasha a safe house, Tony and Bruce home; this is where they – where we all – rest in safety, where we come knowing there will be no danger, and they have allowed you here, have come to expect your presence. Last night, it was Lady Pepper who asked about your whereabouts, and she was not the only one upset by your lack.
"Loki, you do not need to be alone, you don't need to hide away as you had done at ho– in Asgard, these past months. And if–" Thor's voice caught again and he closed his eyes, voice quieter as he continued, "If you find such pain from my calling you 'Brother', I would stop. I would be but Thor, and you Loki, if it would ease your suffering. But, if it must be that, let me at least still call you friend, for I cannot live without you."
Loki moved then, like breaking free from a prison of ice; he embraced the elder god, and Thor clutched at him as if afraid he would lose him forever if his grip slipped, tears soaking into Loki's shirt. "Brother," Loki whispered, the taste of the word familiar and very like home, and Thor let out a sob, hands flexing at Loki's sides. "Brother, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," a bitter truth against his tongue, hating himself for still caring, for being so easily moved by Thor's pain. He pressed his face against Thor's hair, breathing him in and feeling a year of falling, days of violence, months of hatred and revenge, fading away behind a barrier of centuries, millennia, of family and safety and love.
For Loki, too, was but half a man – what was half a monster? – without Thor, without the brother he'd grown up beside, secure enough in each other's strengths to see them through battles and feasts alike. He was too open, too bare without Thor shielding him, too unfamiliar with the social graces Thor excelled at, for all that he could emulate them. It was tiring standing on his own, battling without that familiar strength beside him. And Loki needed Thor as much as Thor needed him; it was but the irony of the realms that it was Thor, for whom words had always been a bane, who had given voice to this emptiness first. Loki wanted to laugh, but then to cry, for this was both a sharp edge and a balm, this closeness, and he embraced it when he might have pushed it away, because he was tired of fighting, tired of always being so cold where he had once been warm.
Thor pulled away first, rubbing his hands over his cheeks to be rid of the evidence of his weakness. When he looked at Loki, he found his expression more open than it had been since they were boys, the edges of his broken self-image sharp in green eyes, and Thor touched Loki's cheek and whispered, "I love you, Loki. Never doubt that." An echo of their last moment together, before the dark truth of Loki's heritage destroyed everything.
Loki's mask came back up and he smiled, though there remained an honesty in the turn of his lips that eased Thor's heart. "I never could," he murmured and pressed the copy of the picture that he'd made against Thor's chest.
Thor looked down, eyebrows knit in confusion. His eyes lit up when he recognised what he'd been given and he looked up to stare at the younger god. "Loki..."
"If you destroy this one," Loki informed him with a hint of steel, "I will repair it only so I might break it over your thick skull, and then you will have to see if mortal means can heal that damage."
Thor laughed and nodded. "I will treat it with all care."
"Hn." Loki brushed past his brother – did he dare allow that familiarity again? Could he not? – and hunted down something to eat. He ended up with a salad, which Thor made a face at, but remained at his side as they moved out to the common area.
The humans all looked up and sort of stared at the two gods in silence for a long moment before Rogers said, "You healed Bruce," a strange mix of awe and pleasure in his voice.
"Brother?" Thor asked, looking at Loki with some surprise.
Loki shrugged, seemingly uncaring. "I saw the spell by chance when looking another spell up while I was in Asgard. There was no reason to leave Dr Banner to suffer when I had the solution."
Thor hugged Loki, his copy of the picture tight against Loki's chest.
"Hey, right! Aladdin!" Stark remembered. "JARVIS, put in Aladdin."
"We're watching football!" Barton complained as the television screen changed.
"Yes, but I promised Loki Aladdin, and Loki healed Bruce. Ergo, we're watching Aladdin. You get absolutely zero say in this, Rambo."
"I'm going to Rambo on your ass," Barton muttered, but made no further complaints as Loki and Thor settled into their couch. Without Jane, there was a great deal more space and Stark quickly abandoned his usual chair to wedge himself between Loki and the arm. Rolling their eyes, the two gods shifted until they were all comfortable. Across from them, Romanoff hit Barton for making kissing faces, then the film was starting and they all settled down.
Loki rather liked Jafar's style, at the start, all magic and smooth cruelty, but then Genie came on, and he was blue, with a sense of humour very like Loki's had been before his fall into the Void, throwing out spells and tricks for fun. So if Loki was more like Genie, then who was Jafar? "Doom," he said aloud.
"What?" Everyone turned to him and Stark said, "Non sequitur much?"
"Who Jafar reminds me of," Loki explained, shrugging.
"Holy shit," Barton muttered.
"I am calling him that forever," Stark decided. "No, seriously, because he can Jafar until the sun goes down, but we totally have Genie, and Genie kicks ass." He grinned at Loki. "You are the ultimate ass kicker."
"Do not tell him these things," Barton snapped. "Because then he'll think he can kick our asses, and I get enough of that from Doom and his flunkies."
"Nope, no way. Loki is totally Genie and Genie is a good guy. He's totally on Aladdin's side. And...and Steve is secretly Aladdin, and you're Abu–"
"Fuck you, Stark. I'm not some monkey."
"And I'm totally Carpet because I fly. And Natasha... Natasha can be Jasmine. Jasmine, who is secretly uber awesome and please don't kill me."
"I'm weighing the pros and cons," Romanoff said drily.
"Shut up and watch the movie. All of you," Coulson ordered.
"He's going to put us in time-out," Stark said in a stage whisper.
"Time-out, for you, involves the revoking of lab privileges."
"Shutting up!" Stark called and covered his mouth with his hands. Coulson's mouth twitched with a suppressed smile.
They finished Aladdin in silence. As the credits rolled, Romanoff said, "There are sequels, right?"
"The Return of Jafar sucked, and King of Thieves was so-so," Stark replied. "We can watch them, though, if you people want. Better Disney than men in leggings, tackling each other like some demented porno."
"Just because you don't like football–"
"Does Genie come back?" Loki asked, uncaring if he sounded hopeful.
"Uh, yeah." Stark grinned. "Yeah, okay. JARVIS, The Return of Jafar."
Banner joined them near the beginning of Aladdin and the King of Thieves, tired but healthy, and the film was paused so the humans could worry over him, pushing him into a couch and debating who would make him tea. Once everyone was settled and Rogers was ordering some form of Arab food at Stark and Barton's chorused demands, Banner said, "Loki? Thanks."
Loki nodded in response, then returned his attention to the film, which seemed enough for all of them.
The next interruption came bearing food, near the middle of the film: Pepper and Jane exited the lift, arms full of the bags of food, and JARVIS had just paused the film when Pepper recognised Banner. "Bruce! What are you doing out of bed?"
Banner smiled, less tired after the tea and laughter thanks to the film. "Loki healed me, apparently. It's like I never faced the dragons."
"Well!" Pepper smiled at Loki. "Thank you, Loki."
Loki waved the thanks off, and looked pointedly at the food the women held.
Pepper and Jane took the hint and the food was served out before they returned to the film.
When the credits rolled, Stark jumped up. "Okay! So, Loki, Gay Detector. Gimme."
"Tony," Pepper called while Loki tried to remember where he'd left the bauble on the chain Stark had given him yesterday, easily making the correlation between 'Gay Detector' and 'Gay Bridge'. (He was a little disturbed at so easily understanding the human's oddities.)
"What?" Stark made a face at her frown. "Oh, come on, Pep. They call the thing the 'Rainbow Bridge'. That's so asking for it. They're practically dancing along in tutus, carrying axes. So gay."
"Tony, we've talked about this."
"Okay, that–that is PC for this crowd. Have you heard the things that come out of Clint's mouth? Or Thor's? Yeah, I can get away with Gay Detector. My tower, my rules. I win." He turned back to Loki as most of the others snickered, Coulson and Pepper looked resigned, and Rogers and Thor looked confused. "My Gay Detector. Come on, genius to work!"
"I believe I left it downstairs," Loki decided, a vague memory of setting it on the edge of his bathroom sink coming to mind.
"Of course you did. Okay, cool. Go, shoo. I will be in the lab. The big lab, mind, because Astro Girl might be interested. Gay Bridge readings. Awesome," he added to Jane.
Loki teleported before Jane could make a response. He grimaced upon appearing, reminded that his magic was low. Not as low as it had been when he'd been stuck a day without it, but low enough to make teleporting a less than optimal way to get around.
"Are you well, Loki?" JARVIS asked. "I'm reading your magical–"
"I am aware of my status," Loki replied, tone sharper than he'd intended. He took a breath, then said, "I apologise. The concern is appreciated, but unnecessary."
"If your levels get any lower, I am required to notify Sir, Agent Coulson, and Thor," JARVIS informed him.
"If my levels get any lower, Thor will figure it out himself," Loki muttered, going in search of the necklace.
Stark was waiting for him when Loki stepped out of the lift on the floor of the main lab. "It's never a good sign when you use the elevator," he commented as he held the door open for Loki.
"Healing magic is draining, and I am unpractised with it," Loki said by way of explanation, holding out the necklace.
"And you teleported between here and New Mexico twice yesterday, plus whatever crap you pulled in Asgard," Stark commented. "Are you going to be stuck without magic tomorrow?"
"Unlikely," Loki replied, unconcerned, before nodding at the necklace. "I should be interested to see what your science has gathered."
"Yeah? Sure." Stark led the way around a number of tables to where Jane was crouched over a tablet, invisible from the door. She smiled at Loki, a flash of concern in her eyes, but focussed on Stark when he pulled over some sort of base for the bauble and plugged it in. "At double time, I think, to begin, JARVIS."
A hologram appeared above the technology, showing an odd sort of constant nothingness with a fairly constant triangle of light blue moving around. Shortly, a larger form of blue, shot through with gold threads and sparkling with hints of green approached, and the image moved to rest close to the blue form.
"Holy shit," Jane whispered in realisation. "JARVIS, pause."
"Cool," Stark said, head cocked as he eyed the image. "You're very blue, Loki."
"Jötun," Loki reminded him absently, staring at the image. It was one thing to know his magic was there, another to see it through the eyes of something that saw only magic. "And that?" he wondered, motioning towards the small triangle of pale blue next to his form.
"Huh. That's the arc reactor. Go figure." When Loki frowned at him, Stark tapped the outline of a circle on his shirt and it sounded like the failed possession. "Keeps me alive. I had to create a new element because the old one was killing me, and I guess it reads close enough to your magical energy for the Gay Detector to pick it up."
"Does that mean your arc reactor is gay?" Jane enquired sweetly.
"My arc reactor defies labels, sweetheart," Stark returned without missing a beat, "just like the rest of me. Right! JARVIS, go."
The image continued with little movement for a moment before there was a flash of green. When the green faded, the triangle of pale blue had vanished, but there was a slightly distant form of silver and pale blue that recalled Mjölnir and a nearer human-shaped form that was shot through with streaks of gold, a ball of silver where one's heart might be.
"Is that..."
"Thor," Loki recognised. In the vision of this technology, it's a wonder he could ever have believed himself to be of relation to Thor, for their magical essence was nothing alike.
"Freeze," Stark requested, shifting against the edge of the table where he'd been leaning. "Okay. So, getting slightly off topic here. Loki, you look like you fucking are magic, but Thor's, well, not. Also, what's the gold?"
Loki considered that for a moment, watching the frozen image of himself and Thor. "It is likely to be a product of our immortality. I will know for certain once the image shows Asgard."
"Immortality is gold, got it," Stark muttered. "I'd guess your blue, then, is Jötun magic?"
"A reasonable assumption."
"And the green?"
Loki was silent for a moment, considering, before slowly saying, "I am...uncertain."
"When you teleported, it was green," Jane pointed out, "and you've always thought you were an Æsir, right? So you would be using Æsir magic, assuming there's a difference?"
"There is," Loki assured her. "It is as sensible an explanation as any other."
"So why aren't you shot through with green? Or have a green ball of light, like Thor's got silver?" Stark wondered. "By the way, that's from the hammer?"
"I believe so," Loki agreed to the latter question. "As for the green... It's possible it only appears when the magic is in spell form."
"Or it's blue because you were born with Jötun magic, and the green happens when you translate it into Asgardian magic," Stark realised. "That... That makes a really strange sort of sense, actually. Thanks." He paused. "Why are you sparkling?"
"My clothing have spells woven in to change shape with me, so I don't constantly destroy outfits when I wish to appear as someone else."
"Bruce would kill for a spell for that, just saying," Stark replied and Loki smirked. "Okay, JARVIS, go."
They watched as Loki's form changed, the blue magic shifting with him to take on the outline of Thor. "Cool," Stark said, grinning, and Jane hummed in agreement. When Loki's image called for one of his staffs, a circle of blue appeared in the air and a bright green stick appeared before the circle vanished.
"What was that?" Stark asked as the stick brightened, but didn't change shape, though Loki and Jane both knew the shape had changed in reality.
"Magical space," Loki explained. "A sort of pocket of non-space that stays close to my body; I store things in them. I had not realised that magic was Jötun-based." There were a number of things he hadn't known about his magic, Loki was realising, like how the staff retained its magical shape while its physical shape changed, but Loki's magic changed shape with him. He was glad he'd requested to stay and watch.
"I need one of those," Stark muttered.
There came the green flash of teleportation again, and they were in a barren nothingness, lit only by the now-familiar blue, green, and gold form of Loki. Above them started a sudden swirling of gold – the storm that heralded the arrival of the Bifröst, Loki knew – which was then shot through with a rainbow of colours, which streamed around the image as it travelled.
"This," Jane said and the image paused inside the rainbow of magic. "I need every reading your box picked up while it was inside the Bifröst."
"I will copy it into a separate document in your personal folders, Dr Foster," JARVIS replied.
"Good. Thanks, JARVIS."
The image resumed movement, remaining in the rainbow of magic for long moments before it stopped in a golden dome. A figure shot through with the same gold as Loki and Thor was behind Loki, holding a bronze sword. The figure had bronze magic sparkling where their eyes and ears would be and Loki pre-empted any coming questions by say, "Heimdall, the guardian of the Bifröst. He sees and hears all things."
"Real voyeur, then?" Stark suggested.
Loki frowned at him. "I would not know. I have never been inclined to ask what he watches; Heimdall and I have never been friends."
Stark looked as though he might have a response to that, but decided to hold his tongue, in the end.
The hologram showed Loki's magical form climbing onto...nothing. "Horse," he said for the humans, who nodded in understanding. And then they left the golden dome, travelling along a pathway that shone gold with streaks of other colours intermingled, towards a glowing gold and silver city.
"Holy fuck. The whole city is magical?" Tony demanded, staring at the image as the buildings grew closer.
"Are you truly surprised by that?" Loki wondered, amused.
"Okay, I probably shouldn't be, because you people are nuts. Also, Thor seems to think magic is the same as our science and technology, and we run that through everything. But still. What's it all for?"
"Structural integrity, for the most part, I would think," Loki commented, tilting his head to one side. "Likely a number of protection spells of one sort or another on most of the buildings, in case of invasion. Some buildings sparkle to catch the eye, or glow unnaturally."
"I'm giving up on understanding you people," Stark decided.
"The sentiment is mutual," Loki returned drily and Stark flashed him a shit-eating grin.
For the most part, the only magic the Æsir showed was the gold streaks, which Loki determined were definitely the sign of their immortality. Some had touches of magic, such as the silver over Thor's heart, or the bronze at Heimdall's ears and eyes, but only the Allfather had magic anything like Loki's full-body blue glow, though his was silver with hints of shining black.
Frigga, Loki had been pleased to note, had magic of a similar shade to his Asgardian green, which lit her eyes, mouth, and hands, showing her skills with her spinning wheel and unspoken prophecy. While his mother had always been inclined more towards yellow and gold, she'd been fond of green, which was part of the reason Loki had favoured the colour. Thor had teased him more than once, when they were boys, for being a 'Mama's Boy', but Frigga had put a stop to that before it became one of Thor's bad habits. (To be fair, Loki had started it when he caught Thor covering one eye and attempting to look stern, calling his brother 'Father's Clone', but he hadn't derived much pleasure from it and so had only used the comment twice; Thor had kept on for a good week.)
When asked about various persons or objects, Loki answered, but he otherwise was content to watch the images playing over the table. It was, perhaps, a bit odd to be watching him relive the previous day, but the changed view made all the difference.
It wasn't until Frigga did a small magical trick at dinner – she'd done it to get both Loki and Odin to laugh, tired with their grim expressions – that Loki noticed something that had completely slipped his attention. "JARVIS, pause," he requested, straightening from his poor posture on the stool he sat on.
"What?" Stark asked, blinking in confusion. "What do you see?"
Loki leaned forward and disrupted the image slightly to point at where tendrils of magic from the ground were seeping up and through Frigga, fading to the yellow-green of her cast magic. "I have never before become so easily exhausted from using magic as I have during my stay here."
"You draw magic from your surroundings to augment your own," Stark realised, straightening. "Shit. Well. Thor was saying you're a downright horror in battle, but you were low after two days here and I thought, 'Hey, maybe I'm working him too hard, or those illusions are more draining than battle magic' but, maybe not?"
Loki shook his head. "It is not something I notice myself doing, but it does explain the drain." He slumped back against the table top, disgusted. "It is our law for magicians to always carry staffs when taking part in battles in other realms if we intend to utilise a great deal of magic. I thought it was because the staffs strengthen spells, but it's more likely they serve as a power source when away from Asgard."
"Do the Jötun use staffs?" Jane asked, turning away from the image and towards a coffee maker a couple steps behind her. "Mr Stark?" she added, holding up some mugs, "Loki?"
"Please," Stark agreed.
"I don't care for coffee," Loki replied to her offer, then, thoughtfully, "They don't, that I know. But most of their magic is ice-based, which Jötunheim is made almost entirely of, so they may not require much energy to do spells that otherwise would prove difficult."
"And you seem to have some affect on temperature," Stark recalled. "Jane, is there still hot chocolate over there?"
Loki glanced back over at the woman, hopeful, and she laughed at his expression. "Yeah, there's a couple packs. Loki, did you want some?"
"Please," he replied and she pulled back down the mug she'd just put away. "I am familiar with Jötun magic, but I have cast very little of it, due to the politics between the Jötun and Æsir. Depending on what they draw excess magic from, assuming they do so at all, I may find it easier to manage. There is also the Midgardian variation, which may prove more sensible, given where we are."
"You can try all of them with the Gay Detector recording and we can see if we spot any differences," Stark suggested. "Tomorrow, maybe. Thanks," he added as Jane returned with the drinks.
"Thank you, Lady Jane," Loki offered. "Yes, that might prove an interesting experiment, though we may need to hold off an extra day, so I might further study Midgardian magic."
"I can do that," Stark agreed. "JARVIS, let's go."
The hologram resumed and they settled in to finish the day. Other than Jane again requesting that JARVIS send her the readings of the Bifröst – "Double the readings means double the tests, and things might look different depending on the direction you're travelling," she'd defended when Stark laughed – there was nothing really of interest and they'd sped through it. Stark did get an odd look on his face when they continued on to the next day, watching Loki sit in one of his chairs with a faintly gleaming purple book after Thor's visit, but he didn't say anything.
After the hologram flicked out, the three of them remained against the table for a long moment, as if trying to remember how to move.
"It's two in the morning," Jane realised, glancing at the timepiece on her wrist. "Christ." She pushed away from the table, almost tripping as she dropped from the stool to the ground, but catching herself with the air of one long practised at finding her legs after a long time spent off them. "Good night, gentlemen."
"I, too, require sleep," Loki commented, slipping off his stool and moving as if he hadn't been stationary for seven hours.
"You two go ahead," Stark mumbled, waving his hand for a holographic screen to appear next to him.
"Lady Jane," Loki murmured, motioning the woman to go ahead.
"And they say chivalry is dead," Jane said with a laugh as she took the lead through the maze of tables and half-completed metal figures.
"Chivalry is an important part of any court function," Loki informed her smoothly. "And, for all Thor and my actions to the contrary, we remain princes." Though, he added silently, whether the Jötun would appreciate such manners in their prince is another matter entirely.
"Captain Rogers is rather chivalrous, too," Jane commented, "and Bruce has his moments, when he's not distracted by something. Agent Coulson...well, he's polite, but it's that sort of 'I'm thinking up six different ways I can kill you without getting blood on my suit' way." Jane laughed a bit nervously and Loki smiled in amusement. "Clint and Mr Stark, though, they wouldn't know chivalry if it kicked them in the head."
"That could be arranged," Loki offered innocently and Jane laughed, eyes bright.
They traded wishes for a pleasant sleep at Loki's floor, then Jane continued down on her own. Loki didn't spare but a faint thought for his preparations for sleep, but he stopped short when he started to climb into his bed, eyes lighting on the picture of himself and Thor. He stared at it for a moment, heartbeat loud in his ears, before he allowed a sad smile. "Good night, Brother," he murmured and finished getting into bed. "Lights, JARVIS," he called and the room fell dark.
Loki spent the day locked away with his books, refreshing his scant knowledge of Jötun magic – he had only the one book, and he'd dithered over whether to bring it from Asgard, only slipping it into the bag at the end because Frigga had been there and he'd had the sudden urge to keep her from seeing it –, and further studying Midgardian magic. Only JARVIS' insistent badgering reminded him to eat lunch and leave for dinner on time, saving Thor the trouble of dragging him up.
Barton insisted on Mission Impossible to go with the pizza he'd ordered, so they settled in with the pile of boxes and watched explosions on the television. It was an unusual way for Loki to unwind after a day spent buried in books, but it seemed to work far better than the rambunctious parties Thor would drag him to some hours after Loki had missed supper, for all the similarities.
As the credits rolled, Stark and Barton got into an argument about whether to watch the second film of the series – humans had difficulty leaving films where they ended, Loki was learning – or something 'less secret agent', which Barton won when Romanoff and Thor backed him. When Stark looked around for an ally, Loki had smirked and asked if he'd please pass the box of Hawaiian next to him, and no one else would meet his eyes, too busy hiding their amusement behind pizza.
As JARVIS changed discs, Rogers said, "Before we start the next movie, I heard about a charity auction–"
"Here we go," Stark muttered before taking an angry bite of pepperoni pizza.
"–designated to raise money for abused children," Rogers continued, as if Stark hadn't spoken. "I think it would be a good opportunity for all of us to show our support for a good cause."
"Your support," Barton insisted, grimacing. "Cap, we don't all have to go–"
"We're all going," Coulson said evenly. Barton moaned while Stark got up and walked over to the bar against the far wall. "What day?"
"Friday night," Rogers replied, beaming. "Thanks, Phil. This means a lot to me."
"I understand," Coulson returned with a smooth smile.
"Gag me," Barton muttered to Romanoff, who rolled her eyes.
Stark dropped back into his seat with a glass of some form of alcohol and an opened bottle. He passed the latter to Barton, who nodded his thanks, and asked, "So, are we including Loki in this blanket 'all'? Or are we forcing him to hang with the angry pirates in the sky while we play at good citizens?"
There was an uncertain stillness at that question and the humans all turned to look at Loki, who raised his eyebrows at them.
"I volunteer to keep him company here," Stark added, smiling winningly. "I will stick my neck out, take one for the team–"
"You are full of more shit than the sewers," Barton said with a snort. "You? Taking one for the team? I may puke."
"Hey, I gave you beer," Stark reminded him. "Two hours, no snarking, or I will revoke all alcohol privileges."
"Did you not ensure Loki had garments to wear to a charity function?" Thor interrupted.
"Oh. Yeah. Forgot about that," Stark lied into his glass.
"Loki would cause a panic if he was seen in New York," Rogers said.
"He would," Romanoff realised, "but she wouldn't."
"Forgot about that," Rogers admitted before looking at Coulson. "Do you think Director Fury will approve it?"
Coulson shrugged. "Loki's track record so far speaks well; other than the argument with Clint and snooping through some of SHIELD's files via JARVIS' connection–" he shot a glare at Stark, who flashed him a shit-eating grin, "–he's been the picture of innocence." He frowned at Loki, who wore a politely incurious mask. "Which is suspicious in and of itself, but it shows he's capable of behaving. And if he's there with the entire team, any concerns about civilian safety will be minimal. As long as you stay with one of the Avengers the entire time," he added to Loki.
"Loki'll be my eye candy," Stark immediately insisted. "Pepper's in Spain until Sunday, so I have no one else to keep my arm warm. Unless you want me bringing back some pretty girl–"
"That won't be necessary," Coulson interrupted while Rogers grimaced and Barton rolled his eyes. "Loki?"
"It is a preferable alternative to, how was it you put it, Stark? 'Four hours locked up with my babysitting squad'?"
"Sounds accurate," Stark agreed cheerfully.
"I'll run it by the director, then," Coulson decided. "Unless you pull something particularly nasty between now and Friday evening, I don't see any reason why you couldn't attend."
"If only to keep Stark from bringing back some bimbo," Barton agreed.
"Pretty girl," Stark corrected.
"JARVIS, movie," Coulson called and they shut up to watch more explosions.
Thursday was spent with Loki, Stark, Banner, and Jane in the main lab, testing various magical languages and using the Gay Detector to observe what the magic was really doing.
The Asgardian magic definitely drew from other sources – Loki pulled out one of his staffs so they could see for sure what was going on there – rather than from the caster. Banner, after watching for a while and having been caught up on the Gay Detector's images, suggested that Asgardian magic didn't draw so much from the caster as from the surroundings, which is what enabled an average Æsir to cast magic when they, themselves, usually only had their immortality and maybe a couple gifts. The exhaustion for a normal Æsir likely came from when they either used up all of whatever source they were feeding from, or their body was no longer able to process the foreign magic. Loki, meanwhile, had his own store of magic, which gave him more magic to draw from than just his staffs or surroundings, though the magical exhaustion left him in a far more dangerous state than an average magic-user.
Jötun magic drew entirely from the caster and – after running some tests suggested by Stark – was smoother when the air was colder; turning the air conditioning all the way up in the lab enabled Loki to cast a series of spells with far less drain on his magic than when it was a comfortable temperature for the humans. Loki could also cast more spells of the Jötun variety than he could of the Asgardian variety while using the same amount of his personal magic, and Banner suggested that was because Loki's Jötun magic was not meant to translate into Asgardian spells, and some of the energy was lost in the process.
Midgardian spells drew, oddly enough, from a different form of energy entirely, one that Stark's sensors weren't set to recognise. After a break to recalibrate everything, they discovered that the Midgardian magic drew from a sort of energy that rested in the air. Stark thought it might be radio waves, Banner suggested it was more likely some form of thermal radiation that leaked through the planet's ozone layer, Jane guessed it was a by-product of the planet breaking down matter.
Whatever it was, Loki could pretty much guarantee that it was something that only existed on their planet, having never sensed any such element in his past travels – though he made a note to test and make sure next time he went home, perhaps even travelling to another realm to test there, if the Allfather would give his allowance. "It explains the taste of your magic," Loki commented.
"Taste," Stark repeated drily. "Okay, I'll give you that your spells can look or feel or whatever like it's got sharp edges and shit, but now we're tasting it?"
"Do you not use multiple senses for your science?" Loki replied. "Do you not taste an element going into an experiment to ensure it is correct? Or touch it, to feel the texture?"
"So, what does Earth magic taste like?" Jane asked curiously before Stark could sort out a response.
"It tastes like nature," Loki said, smiling easily as he drew some of the Midgardian energy into a spell to grow a flower in his cupped palms. "Like a flower just opened, or freshly fallen rain."
"Based against the magic you're used to, it's pretty young, right?" Banner asked.
"That's correct. But there is also...there is more of nature on this world, more trees and new earth, than on most other worlds in the Nine Realms, and that shows in your magic." Loki held the flower out to Jane, who took it with a smile. "It is refreshing, I admit, and not entirely as unpleasant as I might have expected, knowing your race as I do."
"You're being disturbingly candid today," Stark muttered. "Also, smiling. We've talked about this."
"Magic makes me smile. Do you not also smile after many hours working with your suit?" Loki returned.
"Oh, he does," Banner assured them, smiling faintly when Stark glared at him. "You start whistling, Tony. Cheerfully. It's like, six parts amusing, three parts disturbing, and one part Twilight Zone."
"We're ignoring Bruce, now," Stark declared and Banner chuckled. "Loki! What's the likelihood of Jafar having access to other forms of magic?"
"Unlikely," Loki decided. "Especially given what we've discovered regarding what energies the spells feed off of."
"Cool. I think..." Stark pushed his rolling chair away from the table they had settled at to watch the Gay Detector, darting between tables with coordinated pushes until he reached one at the other end of the room. "Anti-Magic Field Two Point Oh," he called back as he pulled an object from a pile of metal, sending things clanging every which way. "If I can find a way to limit access to the Earth energy for spells, that shouldn't affect you, right?"
"In theory," Loki allowed.
"I like turning theory into reality," Stark replied as he started pushing his way back over to them, the object he'd collected resting in his lap. Once he reached their table, he placed the object on it, showing it to be a dirty, spherical object with a couple wires and knobs poking out at odd angles. "This is the AMF, Mark I," he informed them, and Loki made an effort not to push away from the table. "Yeah, it's unplugged right now," Stark promised, pointing at a loose wire, and Loki relaxed, noticing a frown on Banner's face smoothing over.
"So," Stark continued, assured that no one would freak out at him bringing his tech over, "I see two ways I can make this thing usable against Jafar and his flock of Iagos: I can make a sort of personal field for Loki and Thor that negates the effects of the AMF, or I can redesign it to only block the Earth energy. Making personal fields means Jafar knows there's a way around it, and if an Iago gets inside the personal field, it will still work. Making an AMF Mark II means we'll have to plan for Jafar discovering another way to run his magic toys. Which, given what we know, probably won't be so easy. Also, less of a threat for Loki and Thor."
"I'm liking the Mark II idea better," Banner commented. "Although, safely testing it should prove interesting." He glanced at Loki, who grimaced.
"Not so interesting," Stark insisted. "Thor can't call his hammer to him while the AMF Mark I is active, so if he can call it with the AMF Mark II active, it should be safe. That it feeds off an entirely different energy source is helpful, that the energy source is fucking everywhere is less so, but I can work with this. But you–" he pointed at Loki, "–had best move to the lower floors while I'm working on this. After I'm sure it's safe for Thor, we can test it with you, then see if you can still use the human magic. Good?"
Loki shrugged and nodded. "If Barton isn't there, I can remain on Thor and Lady Jane's floor."
"Thor would love it if you spent time with him," Jane immediately chimed in. "I mean, Mr Stark would need him eventually, but the thing has to be built, first..."
"Thor's version of 'spending time together' usually involves some form of knocking heads together," Loki replied drily as he stood. "But I will see if he is inclined towards my company all the same. JARVIS, where is my brother?"
"Thor, Captain Rogers, and Agent Romanoff are currently in the gym."
"Of course he is," Loki muttered as he left the lab. He stopped by his rooms long enough to collect one of his magic books, then continued down to the gym.
Romanoff and Rogers were circling each other when Loki arrived, Thor sitting to one side and poking at a long cut along his forearm. Loki stalked over to his brother and smacked his hand away, then cast a Midgardian variation of a simple healing spell, assisting Thor's body in healing the damage.
Thor grinned at him. "Welcome, Brother. Have you completed your tests?"
"After a fashion," Loki replied, calling a chair over from the far wall for him to sit in. "Stark is working on his Anti-Magic Field, so I have been, once again, ordered to the lower floors."
Thor considered that for a moment, then, "Would you like to spar?"
"Why would I wish anything of the–"
"You can use magic," Thor hurried to add.
Loki allowed a slow smile and stood, leaving his book on his chair. "In that case..."
Thor sighed and joined him, the two humans clearing the floor for the gods and standing back to watch. Thor knew most of Loki's tricks, but Loki had learned some new ones while lost in the Void, not to mention his sudden skills with ice magic, and the elder brother soon enough found himself outmatched. "Though," he promised to Loki's smug expression, "not defeated. You will run out of new tricks soon enough, Brother."
Loki laughed and returned to his book, turning down further offers to spar and splitting his attention between the three who took turns on the mats and his reading. He remained down there even after Thor was called up to the lab, debating knife styles with Romanoff and commenting on the oddities of the modern world with Rogers.
When Loki went upstairs to test the new Anti-Magic Field – which worked about how Stark had hoped, though there was some usual resistance when he drew energy from a staff to cast the Asgardian way – he felt disturbingly like he fit in with these misfits. And even as a part of him wanted to see them choking on their own blood still, a greater part was pleased. Because Loki had never before felt like he belonged as much as he did in this tower, amongst these once-enemies, and – Jötun or Æsir – all he'd ever really wanted was to fit in.
-0-
A/N: Loki feels. Exploding... *ded*
~Bats ^.^x
Whatever Lies Beyond This Morning
Like So Much Shattered Glass Chapters:
One | Two | Three | Four | Five |
Rough Edges Chapters:
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven
Christmas Tunes
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no subject
Date: 28/8/12 04:18 (UTC)no subject
Date: 28/8/12 19:52 (UTC)Glad you liked. ^.~
no subject
Date: 29/8/12 01:27 (UTC)Then again, there's only one chapter left before the sequel, so maybe not...or maybe you're just an evil and amazing and amazingly evil and evilly amazing (and everything else in between) writer and you are going to end this one with the "relapse" and fix it in the sequel...*stares at you knowingly* Oh, I see how it's gonna be now...
Lol, but this was a great chapter! I loved all the technicalities with magic and I can't wait to see how the AMF Mark II works! Also, the charity event is bound to be interesting! :D
no subject
Date: 29/8/12 01:34 (UTC)...damn. Why didn't I think of that. XD
:) I'm glad people have been liking the magic talk. Makes me happy. ;D
The AMF Mark II will show back up in Rough Edges, but this is the last of it we'll see in this fic. (All of next chapter is dedicated to the charity event. XD Worried yet?)
no subject
Date: 30/8/12 19:17 (UTC)I'm glad that you didn't think of it! XD
Lol, I can't wait to see what you'll do with that charity event!