FICLETS: 5 Sentence Fics ~ Fullmetal Alchemist

[batsutousai]

For our 3rd October celebration, some FMA friends and I did five-sentence fics. Here are my fills, with the prompts.
Warnings for crack, nsfw, EdRoy, potential JeanEd, potential Hyuuroi, and Alex Armstrong

~Goodnight Yoki~

Somehow, despite yet another long night on the road, Yoki could not, for the life of him, manage to get to sleep. Which, given current company, probably shouldn't have resulted in aimless chatter, but it did. Scar gave him about five minutes before he turned the single most threatening flat stare Yoki had ever been faced with. "G-good night, Yoki?" Yoki suggested, and Scar grunted and thankfully turned away without blowing his brains out.

-0-

~Inappropriate transmutations~

The most memorable year for the exam had to be when they had the alchemist who, for some reason no one really wanted to understand, transmuted by slapping his asscheeks together. Thankfully, the man wasn't accepted, but Roy would never get the image of the man bending over, dropping trou, and smushing his asscheeks together to transmute a horrifyingly large dildo out of his head.

-0-

~Havoc is out of cigarettes, but the oral fixation is too strong to deny~

Previous experience had taught him that, if he went after anything belonging to another member of Mustang's team when he needed to shove something in his mouth, he'd regret it. (Especially if it was Hawkeye's, because she'd shoot him.) Really, the same probably held true for the Elrics, but Ed HAD fallen asleep in the free chair, and his automail hand WAS on Jean's desk, which made it fair game, right? At least until Ed woke up and punched him in the face, and then Mustang had to turn the whole thing into a dirty joke that he'd never live down, the ass. (There went his dating chances.)

-0-

~Wet Roy Mustang~

As often as everyone made jokes about how useless Roy was while wet, Ed discovered that he liked him best that way, and not because of how little alchemy he could do. Rather, he enjoyed watching Roy walk around just in soaking shirtsleeves after getting caught in a downpour, loved the way it stuck to his skin and made promises of what hid beneath. But, better yet, was seeing Roy naked, in the shower, when Ed could come up behind him and lick along the water's pathways, enjoy his extremely talented hands sliding along Ed's own wet skin. Oh, yes, Roy while wet was ABSOLUTELY his favourite thing.

-0-

~Hughes' secret photo collection~

It was no secret that Hughes took photos of EVERYTHING, especially if that everything involved his wife or daughter in some way. It also wasn't a secret that Mustang seemed to take issue with Hughes' camera being anywhere in his vicinity. So it really shouldn't have surprised anyone when they emptied his desk and found a pile of photos of Mustang with Elicia, most of which looked innocent, but the three at the bottom of the stack showed that Elicia had inherited her father's habit of annoying Mustang, as she was standing proudly next to Mustang, whose naked chest had been turned into a canvas for paint while he was obviously asleep. By the time Mustang heard about the photo making the rounds, all he could do was storm out to his best friend's grave and curse at him for not destroying it like he'd promised. (At least that was the worst photo that got out, he supposed.)

-0-

~Power outage at HQ, pitch blackness~

A power outage in headquarters was rare, but not unprecedented, and Maes Hughes had developed his own secret weapon to get around without unintentionally groping anyone. "Major," he called. There came the sound of ripping fabric, and then the room lit with that particular brand of Armstrong glow. Maes took a moment to look around, because the vaguely horrified stunned expressions were always his favourite part; if only his camera worked in the dim light.

.