FIC: Silver Wings ~ Final Fantasy VIII ~ Seifer/Squall ~ Mature ~ Chapter 3

[batsutousai]

Title: Silver Wings
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Author: Batsutousai
Pairing: Squall Leonhart/Seifer Almasy
Rating: Mature
Warnings: AU, canon violence, Sorceress!Squall, original character death, mind rape, mental torture,
Summary: On that fateful day, when a child grown visited his childhood home and a dying sorceress passed on her powers, it wasn't another sorceress they found, but a young boy running lost.

A/N: I struggled with Squall in this. Originally, he was going to be a lot colder than he turned out, but then I sort of came to the slow realisation that this isn't canon!Squall, can never be canon!Squall. And I really just need to resign myself to him being OoC. Like always.

As an advance warning for any confused Americans out there, I kept finding myself using the British numbering conventions for Garden floors, and was too lazy to edit them all over to the American standard, especially since this fic is rife with other Britishisms. So, ground floor equals American 1F, first floor is 2F, and the second floor is 3F. Sorry/not sorry.

Chapter Three — Reach For Your Metal

Garden's doctor – Kadowaki, he'd found out her name was – forced him to stay overnight in the infirmary, then had a faculty member lead him up to Uncle Cid's office on the second floor. Uncle Cid had smiled upon seeing him, a little forced around the edges, and motioned him to sit as he got rid of the faculty member. He settled back behind his desk, then, and shuffled some papers in front of him. "I'm sure you'd like some time to strengthen up after you were unconscious–"

"No," Squall interrupted, keeping his voice firm and looking up to meet Cid's gaze; it was easy to keep from thinking of this man as his quasi-uncle, with the space he'd put between them, so unlike how Beau had always sat in one of his guest chairs when Squall was in his office, and the thought was somehow both disheartening and reassuring. "I didn't suffer any damage, despite the two months I was unconscious. I would prefer to start attending classes, if you have teachers who will accept me."

Cid shuffled his papers again, a nervous motion that he couldn't seem to help. "O-of course, Squall. We'll have to do some assessments, see where you are in relation to your peers..."

"I junction GFs and para-magic without any difficulty," Squall replied, keeping his voice even and dull. "I can read, but I've never been taught to write, and I've been training with the SeeDs in using a sword for the past year."

Cid blinked at him for a moment, hands stilled over his papers, then coughed. "You can use para-magic?"

"Yes."

He seemed almost to relax. "Good. Good, that makes things easier. I wasn't– Well, no matter now." He moved some papers on his desk again, though this time with apparent intent, as he pulled out a sheet and held it up. "Dr Kadowaki won't allow me to hold any assessment tests for you until next week, but you're free to visit the Training Centre and fight the monsters in there, or get some reading done in the library. You won't, officially, be assigned a room and a roommate until you're a student–"

"Uncle Cid," Squall interrupted, stomach churning unpleasantly. When Cid motioned for him to continue, Squall clenched his fists to keep from shifting, then asked, "Do I have to have a roommate?"

"It's Garden policy, Squall," Cid pointed out gently.

Squall couldn't help but shift then, one hand reaching up to clutch at his necklace. "I know. But–" he swallowed "–given what I am, it might not be a good idea. No one knows how I'll react if I have a roommate who thinks messing with me while I'm asleep is a good idea, and if they find out what I am and decide to..." he trailed off, wincing at the direction his thoughts were going; just because the danger was real, didn't mean it was easy to say.

Cid sighed. "I can try to make sure you get someone quiet as a roommate, but you will turn far more heads by having a single room as a cadet, than you will if your roommate gets hurt for trying to play a practical joke on you while you're sleeping. I understand that it makes you nervous, but this isn't Alexander. Do you understand?"

Squall slumped in his chair. "Yes, sir," he agreed, certain he sounded childish and not sure he cared.

Cid nodded. "You'll have a week or two in a guest room, first," he promised before standing. "I'll take you down there myself and see if we can't find someone to show you around on the way. As soon as I've got your assessment schedule worked out, I'll have it delivered to your room; no later than this weekend, I promise."

"Okay," Squall agreed as he got up to follow the man from the office.

They made a stop down the hall, where Cid pulled out one of the familiar white bags that Squall had seen the SeeDs use when switching between ships or leaving to handle whatever had called them up to Trabia. "Edea gave this to me. It should be all your things," he explained as he handed the bag over, followed by the sword Squall had received for his seventh birthday.

Squall stopped to buckle on his sword, silently furious at himself for not questioning its lack before, and hefted his bag over one shoulder before following Cid to the lift.

They had only just reached the bottom of the stairs in front of the lift on the ground floor, when someone ran into Squall. He steadied himself without difficulty, his innate Quake magic making it difficult to upset his balance, but the other person fell on his arse.

"Cadet Dincht," Cid realised as the fallen person jumped easily to his feet and started dusting himself off. He'd frozen upon hearing Cid's voice, however, and looked up with an expression like a chocobo standing in the way of an oncoming train. There was something familiar about him, Squall realised, even as Cid said, "Excellent timing, actually. "Squall, this is Zell Dincht. Cadet, this is Squall Leonhart; he'll be joining Garden in a couple weeks, and I was looking for someone to show him around."

Zell grimaced at that, even as he looked Squall over. He grinned after a moment and held out a hand for a shake. "Hey, nice to meet you, man! I'm sure you'll love it here!"

Squall let Zell shake his hand, the boy who used to tattle on every wrongdoing now practically a ball of energy. "I hope so," Squall agreed quietly, remembering what Shiva and Quezacotl had said about GFs eating normal people's memories. It explained Seifer's reaction, as well as Zell's lack of recognition, even as the space fallen between them made Squall's chest ache.

Then again, perhaps it was best if he didn't get close to anyone again; if Virgie hadn't attached herself to him, she would have left for Garden long before she could have died in Trabia.

"A guest dorm first, then I'll leave you to Cadet Dincht," Cid insisted, a hand on Squall's shoulder moving him in the correct direction.

Zell fell in next to them, a bounce in his step. He was quiet while Cid showed them to the guest hall in the dorms, but once the headmaster had left them to it, he gushed out, "Where are you from, then? Weird time to be coming in, so close to the holiday. I'd have thought you'd wait until at least January before coming out here–"

"My living situation became untenable, so I came to Garden," Squall bit out, finally realising he'd have to interrupt if he was going to be able to answer any of Zell's questions. "Un– The headmaster offered to let me wait until after the holiday, but I would rather be doing work." Squall eyed the way Zell deflated somewhat at his sharp tone, and he tried to ease it to say, "You were going to show me around."

"Yeah," Zell agreed, obviously forcing himself to perk up. "Hey, d'you mind if we go by the cafeteria first? They should be just about ready to open up, and I bet you can get us some of their special."

"Fine," Squall agreed, and let himself be led away by Zell.

-0-

Squall huffed as he took out another grat with a slash of his sword. He'd hope for more of a challenge, but it seemed he'd have to get permission to leave Garden if he wanted to really stretch his limits. Given, grats were hardly one-hit prey, but they weren't much better than the funguar and geezards that sometimes slipped past the SeeD patrols in Centra. The only reason he wasn't using GFs, was because it felt like a cheat.

'Bahamut is a cheat,' Shiva insisted. 'Us normal GFs are simply...'

"Cheats?" Squall replied drily, rolling his eyes. "Shiva, you could take out a group of these monsters just as easily as Bahamut. I want a challenge."

"Do you always talk to yourself?" a familiar voice drawled from behind him.

Squall spun, sword only kept at his side because he knew that voice. "I'm not talking to myself."

Seifer snorted and waved a sword around him. "It's just you and me here, kid, and you sure as hell weren't talking to me."

"You never talk to your GFs?" Squall asked, honestly confused. Given, he didn't know many people who kept GFs, but it made sense to speak with the beings sharing space in your head, especially if they were stealing your memories.

Seifer laughed. "Seriously? Do you talk to your sword, too?"

'This is why I hate humans,' Bahamut complained.

Squall tightened his grip on his sword. "My sword doesn't tend to answer back," he bit out, trying to breathe through the anger making his magic stir.

Seifer snorted. "Neither do the GFs."

"Maybe you just don't know how to listen."

The blond paused, eyes narrowing towards Squall. "Shut your trap, kid. You don't know me!"

Squall turned away, heart aching for a childhood that no one else remembered. "And I don't want to," he threw over his shoulder.

It was Seifer's yell that gave him away, childish and unnecessary. Squall spun back to meet him, blade rising to block the strike aimed at his head.

A hit that should have been easy to push away, was a struggle to hold back, and Squall stared at Seifer under their locked blades, surprised. His magic, in his mind, had flinched back from the blond, seemed almost uncertain in his presence, and Squall was torn between disbelief that Seifer scared his magic, and relief at the unexpected ease of pressure that had become so familiar over the years.

"You want a challenge, kid?" Seifer bit out, pushing forward against their blades. "I'll give you a challenge you'll never forget."

"If you really think you can," Squall heard himself replying.

Seifer grinned, green eyes lighting, and pulled away. "Sparring rules is no junctions, no magic," the blond ordered as he widened his stance.

"Got it," Squall agreed; it suited him fine, since his magic was apparently refusing to cooperate with him when faced with the blond, and he'd never bothered trying to figure out how to strengthen himself with para-magic spells, not with his innate magic doing a far better job.

Seifer moved, then, quick for someone claiming to be unjunctioned, and Squall grit his teeth as he moved forward to meet him.

Fighting with Seifer was...different. He wasn't trained the exact same way as Squall's SeeD instructors, had never fought in a war or been tasked with the safety of someone else. It was clear, to Squall, that he wasn't used to fighting much more than grats and other students while under the watchful eyes of teachers.

Despite all that, it was the first time Squall had ever fought without access to his magic. He couldn't let time magic fill him and get him out of the way just in time, or use his earth-based magic to stand his ground and know where any obstructions were. It was...terrifying and heady, all at once, and he found himself grinning around grit teeth each time Seifer's sword connected with his.

'Sorceress!' Quezacotl and Shiva shouted in warning, just before a roar echoed through the Training Centre, coming from directly behind him.

Seifer pulled away, eyes going wide as he caught sight of whatever was behind Squall, and he reached out to pull Squall forward, getting him out of the way of the t-rexaur's chomp attack. "We need to get out of here," Seifer gasped out.

Squall shook his head, his magic filling him again at the danger. He held out his hand and intoned, "Ultima."

Like the ruby dragon months ago, the t-rexaur was swallowed by the aqua globe that ripped out of Squall's hand. He turned and tugged Seifer down towards the ground as the spell hit, the Auto-Protect Bahamut granted him keeping them from getting hurt by the debris that rained down after the spell exploded.

"Holy shit," Seifer breathed after everything had settled, peering past Squall at the devastation.

Squall turned to look himself, grimacing at the massive hole in the centre of the t-rexaur's body, separating its head from its lower half. Plenty of surrounding trees had taken damage, but it was nothing like the devastation wrought by the spell that had called Bahamut to him.

"What the fuck was that spell?" Seifer demanded as they both stood.

"Ultima," Squall murmured, touching his necklace as he stared at the devastation. "It's one of the forbidden spells."

Ultima and Meteor and that other spell; Squall had spent a day in the library, searching for answers about the horrible magic that was a part of him.

Seifer's hand wrapped around his arm and he shook Squall until he turned to look. "You're not allowed to have that magic in Garden," he hissed.

Squall had expected that when he realised what his magic was, so he just shrugged now and said, "Don't tell anyone."

Seifer's eyes gleamed and he tightened his grip on Squall's arm. "Give me some."

Squall blinked. "Give–" Oh. Para-magic. Squall shook his head, grasping for the rules the SeeDs had beat into him when they'd first started teaching him about magic. "What's the strongest spell you've ever cast?"

Seifer frowned and drew his hand away. "I can cast the basics," he muttered, and it was clear he knew where Squall was going with this.

Squall nodded. "When you can cast a Flare successfully nine times out of ten, ask me again. Until then, keep your mouth shut, or you're not getting anything." Because he knew the Seifer of his childhood lived to break the rules, and promising a chance to do so in future seemed like a good way to keep it from getting back to anyone that Squall had the ability to cast forbidden magic. (It was likely Cid already had an idea, if anyone had realised what he'd used on the ruby dragon, but Squall knew the headmaster would never spread it around, just as he would never penalise Squall for being what he was.)

Seifer considered him for a long moment before sticking a hand out. "I'm Seifer Almasy."

Squall blinked, thrown, then accepted the offered hand. "Squall Leonhart. I'm starting in a couple weeks."

Seifer smirked. "Good." He tapped his blade against where Squall was holding his at his side. "You may be a magic guru, Leonhart, but you'll never best me with swords."

Squall snorted. "I'm pretty sure neither of us won that fight."

"Next time," Seifer promised with a sharp smile, "I will." Then he turned and started away. "See you around!"

-0-

Squall's assessments went about how he'd expected. He was at the bottom of the barrel when it came to writing, and would end up having those classes with the youngest children in Garden, which would likely find him the butt of many a joke, but he'd already resigned himself to it. (Because reading and writing were tied together in Garden curriculum, he'd be getting a child's refresher for the skill he already possessed, but there was no helping it.)

His understanding of the SeeD mandate, the politics of the world, diplomacy skills, and other such necessary knowledge was all over the place, but, then, that tended to be the case for most students who'd come to Garden after the official start age of five. Because he'd been living with SeeDs on a mobile boat, he was better off than most orphans dropped off at odd times during the year by the Alexander's scout ships, which was an honest relief.

Even though he'd taken pains to downplay his magic skills, he still ended up topping the highest student's scores in that area. Cid said they were going to put him in the advanced class, just to fill a slot in his timetable, and in case he actually had any questions pertaining to magic, he had someone to ask. Though it was clear the headmaster expected Squall would end up dropping the course when the new year started in April.

With his GFs sitting on his magic during his combat assessment, keeping it from boosting his natural abilities any, his combat skills were declared at about the right level for his age, and he was shuffled into classes with his peers. (He'd probably have scored higher, Cid told him, if he'd learned hand-to-hand combat and how to manage a gun while living on the Alexander, to which Squall had drily replied, "Do you have any idea how hard it was getting Matron to let me learn the sword? Can you imagine her response if someone had suggested I be trained in other fighting styles or weapons?" which had won him a knowing grimace from the headmaster.)

He did get some flack for his shoddy writing skills – especially from Seifer, who he ended up sitting next to and usually ended up sparring with in their combat class – but most people shut up when it got around that he could cast a Flare spell without sweating.

Honestly, Squall refused to let anyone else's thoughts on his abilities bother him, instead focussing his energy on bettering where he was lacking. Which left him with very little time to expel his magic, but it had settled into an unusually calm hum in the back of his mind. The only reason he wasn't more worried about it, was that he knew his GFs were keeping an especially close eye on it, as disturbed by the changed behaviour as he was.

Squall heard nothing about the Alexander until the end of March, after term ended and most of the students had vacated for the two weeks at home. He was sitting in the cafeteria, scowling as he worked on an essay he'd received an extension on, due to his lack of writing skills, while Seifer sat at the next table over and made occasional mocking noises, ignoring the disapproving looks the handful of other students kept shooting him.

"Squall?" Cid called as he approached Squall's table.

Squall glanced up and looked towards the headmaster, cocking his head in curiosity. "Sir?"

Cid offered him a strained smile. "You have some guests."

Squall blinked. "Guests?" he repeated, even as he shoved his papers together and grabbed for his bag.

"Your sister and Captain Owens," Cid agreed.

Squall jerked around to stare at his quasi-uncle, stomach churning. "Are they insane?" he hissed as he jumped out of his seat, bag swinging at his side, and hurried for the entrance.

"Squall!" Cid complained after him.

Squall didn't have to look very hard for Sis and Beau, as they were both waiting for him by the map at the bottom of the stairs to the lift. Beau saw him first, offering a helpless shrug, which apparently warned Sis who was approaching.

"Squally!" she called as she turned, grinning wide and delighted. She hurried forward and he caught her in a tight hug when they met up, his bag thudding heavily to the ground at his feet.

Everything Squall had wanted to say, every pointed question he'd had about her safety, completely vanished from his mind, replaced with a well of homesickness and a sharp stab of reminder for someone who was gone. He tightened his grip on her and hid his face between her breasts, shoulders shaking with the sobs that he thought he'd numbed himself to after his fit in Trabia.

"Oh, Squall..." Sis whispered, curling around him as much as she could.

A warm hand soothed over his back. "It's okay, kid," Beau murmured, gentle and comforting in a way that part of Squall had needed Cid to be when he'd been forced to Garden four months before.

It took Squall an embarrassing length of time to pull himself back together, but he did finally manage to tug away from Sis and rub at the tear tracks on his face. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay," Sis promised, gently touching his chin so he'd look up and using her handkerchief to wipe his face. He'd seen her do the same thing a hundred time for the little kids when they hurt themselves or got homesick, and he made a face at her for doing it to him. She smiled in response and said, "It's my job to clean off the faces of all my little siblings, especially my favourite one."

"I'm touched," Squall deadpanned, winning a laugh from her.

"Squall," Beau interrupted, his use of Squall's name suggesting he wasn't going to like whatever the captain said next, "do you remember what happened?"

Sis's hand paused in the act of pulling away from Squall's cleaned face, her expression a complicated mix of disapproval and upset and a sort of broken hope, like she knew what Squall's answer was going to be and she hated it.

Squall looked up and met the familiar dark gaze evenly, hand coming up to wrap around his necklace. "You mean do I remember destroying the ruby dragon that killed Gee?" he replied quietly.

Someone who sounded a lot like Cid let out a helpless moan behind him, while Beau closed his eyes in regret.

Sis's hand carded through Squall's hair and he closed his own eyes. "Yeah," he admitted, "I remember that."

"Do you understand why I needed to get you off Alexander?" Beau asked, and there was a well of pain in that question, like he'd hated that he'd had no choice but to just leave Squall and run.

Squall swallowed and glanced over at Sis's watery eyes, then up at Beau's regretful gaze. "I... Actually, I remember you explaining it to Matron, while I was..."

"Asleep?" Beau offered helplessly.

Squall shrugged and looked down at his feet, past where his fist was tight around his necklace. "If you like," he agreed before glancing over at Sis. "I– You're...my only family too, Sis. I'm sorry I couldn't wake up, I just..."

She pulled him into another hug, hold hard. "I know," she whispered. "It's okay, Squally. I don't blame you."

"Squall," Beau called, and Squall drew away from Sis again to meet the captain's eyes. Beau settled a heavy hand on his shoulder and said, "I need you to listen to me, kid. What happened in Trabia? That was a shit situation, and you handled it better than half my SeeDs would have. You kept Elle and the kids safe and you got out alive, and in the end, that's what matters. That's what you take away from that."

Squall bit his cheek hard enough to hurt, then asked, "How many?" Because that had been bothering him, when he let himself remember that Virgie hadn't gone ahead on her own. "How many died?"

"I don't think–" Cid started.

"Four, counting Gee," Beau told him, ignoring Cid. "But you saved twenty-seven."

Squall blinked and opened his mouth to argue, because there had only been eleven kids that left Alexander that afternoon, including him, Sis, and Virgie. "But–"

Beau pushed a finger against the middle of Squall's chest, in the same spot he always touched when he talked about his magic. "You. Saved. Twenty-seven. People."

Squall stared at him, remembering the way his magic had raged, seeking to destroy every other ruby dragon it could find, looking to keep any such from hurting him again. "Oh," he whispered.

Beau smiled at him, then, and squeezed his shoulder. "You did good, kid. You scared the fuck out of a lot of people, but you did good."

Squall took a deep breath and gave himself a moment to hold that number against the ache of Virgie's death. It didn't fix anything, not by a long shot, but it eased the pain, just a little.

"Where's Matron?" he asked after a moment, looking between Sis and Beau.

Sis winced. "We picked up a newborn a couple days ago. She's attached herself to Matron and...screams...if anyone else tries to hold her."

Squall winced himself. "Oh no." He'd never had to help take care of the super little ones, but he'd been woken enough times by one of them in the middle of the night to guess how much fun life was on Alexander right then. "Well, let me just withdraw, in advance, any requests to come aboard for...at least two years."

Sis laughed, but Beau shook his head grimly. "You can't come back on the ship at all, Squall."

Squall's breath caught, heart thudding painfully against his chest, but he'd honestly expected something like this. "Yeah," he managed, voice cracking. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, that would be pushing too many people a little too far, wouldn't it?"

Beau reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "We'll renegotiate once you've made SeeD."

Squall forced a smile. "Spin around the crater for my graduation present?"

Beau managed his own forced smile in return. "Maybe I'll lend you a scout ship."

Sis stepped between them then, expression determined. "I demand a tour," she informed them both before turning to Squall and catching the hand that wasn't still wrapped around his necklace. "Come on. I've wanted to see this place since we heard the construction was complete, and you are going to show me around."

"Bag!" Squall called back as he let Sis tug him in the general direction of the library.

Beau laughed as he leaned down to grab it. "I think we'll manage fine on our own, sir."

"Yes, yes," Cid agreed tiredly. "Stop by my office before you leave!"

"This is the library," Squall told Sis as he pushed her past the turn-off. "Which you can visit after the tour is done, because, otherwise, that'll be the only room you see."

Beau laughed behind them. "That's the absolute truth."

Sis huffed at them both, but let herself be led on.

-0-

Squall didn't see anyone from the Alexander again until his birthday. He'd been eating breakfast by himself, like always, when someone had stopped next to his table. He'd glanced up, half expecting it to be Seifer, because he apparently thought it was fun to pester Squall every other morning or so, especially during the holidays, but it was Beau instead, and he straightened. "Did something happen?"

Beau shook his head, lips twitching. "You're with me today, kid. Get your stuff."

Squall pointed a finger at the captain, even as his free hand shoved the book he'd been studying into his bag. "You never write, but you show up out of the blue and kidnap me in the middle of holidays. Isn't there some sort of authority figure I'm supposed to report you to?"

"What are they teaching you in this place? How to be an asshole to your superior officer?" Beau complained good-naturedly as he picked up Squall's tray.

"No, I learned that one from you."

Beau snorted and pushed Squall towards the entrance to the cafeteria as soon as he was standing. "Get walking, Cadet. I've only got permission to steal you for the day, and I am not dealing with your sister if I don't uphold my promise to break you out."

"Sis is here?" Squall asked, torn between pleasure and concern.

"She and Matron are in Balamb." Beau ruffled his hair. "Happy birthday, kid."

Squall relaxed at learning the reason for the visit. Even if he wasn't sure it was a good idea for Sis to be in the town.

Beau drove him into town and led him down to the docks, where Matron and Sis were waiting for them on a scout ship. There were two SeeDs with them, clearly of the few who weren't inclined to throw Squall to the wolves, judging by the grins they shot him as Sis gave up on waiting and dashed down the boarding ramp for a hug.

They went down to Fisherman's Horizon, it being the least dangerous place in all of Gaia, and got lunch there before touring the sleepy city.

"I thought it might be nice to get you out of Garden for a while," Sis told Squall while they were sitting on the train tracks and staring down at the fish Squall was absently casting spells on; his magic had reared its head again as soon as they left the island, and screwing with the fish was the only real safe way he had of helping his GFs keep it in check. "You know, bring back the old times a bit."

"As much as any of us can," Squall agreed quietly before leaning sideways and pressing his head against her arm. "Thanks, Sis. I did miss this, a bit. Seeing the world from the ocean."

Sis sighed. "I wish I didn't have to be on the ship all the time."

"You'd rather be stuck in a Garden, then?" Squall teased.

Sis huffed and shoved him. "Don't start with me. You're the worst little brother ever!"

Squall laughed and leaned his head against her again, relaxing when she combed her fingers through his hair.

"Squall! Elle!" Beau called not long after. He was waving for them to come along from further down the tracks, Matron at his side. "We're heading back!"

Squall groaned and climbed to his feet, then helped Sis up. "Next year, let's take the whole weekend and go fishing," he suggested.

Sis laughed. "Isn't that a bit of a cheat? The way you control fish, I mean."

Squall flashed her a smile that he hoped looked like a really bad attempt at appearing innocent. "I would never."

"Come on, you two," Matron said as they reached the adults. "Squall's present is on the ship."

"You mean breaking me from Garden and dragging me to FH wasn't my present?"

"Hm, he makes an excellent point," Beau agreed. "We'll just have to save the gift for a sail-by drop-off next year."

"Stop it," Matron ordered, but she was smiling.

Back on the scout ship, the two SeeDs turned them back towards Balamb while Matron pulled out a cake and Beau brought over a long box wrapped in what looked like flat sheets from one of the Alexander's beds. "It's not light," he warned as he offered it to Squall.

"Matron saw it in Deling when we stopped by last month," Sis explained as Squall hoisted the box into his lap and tried to find the end of the sheet.

"Why were you in Deling?" Squall asked, curious.

Matron laughed and motioned to the cake she was cutting pieces from. "I lacked some necessary ingredients."

Squall ducked his head, embarrassed and pleased. "You didn't have to."

Matron sighed and left the cake to Beau so she could walk over and crouch down next to where Squall was sitting. "No," she agreed, "but I wanted to." She brushed at his hair, as though trying to get it out of his face. "I'm used to seeing you every day, sweetheart. You're going to have to get used to me trying to compress an entire year's worth of attention into one one or two days."

Squall hugged her at that, biting his bottom lip to keep from crying. "I miss you too, Matron," he whispered.

Matron pulled back and cupped his cheek. "I know." She wiped a thumb under his eye, where he'd lost the battle against a single tear, then kissed his forehead and stood. "Now, open that while I go save the cake from Captain Owens."

"Which of us here actually knows how to use a blade?" Beau complained.

Squall finally got the sheet loose and carefully unwrapped the box. There was a familiar symbol on the front, and he touched the roaring lion's head with shaking fingers as his vision filled with tears.

Sis was right there, fingers combing through his hair, and he took strength from her silence and opened the case.

'A gunblade,' Bahamut murmured, resettling against Squall's churning magic. 'Just the sort of overly-difficult weapon you would excel at, with your magically-enhanced reflexes. Assuming you're facing anyone but that arrogant ass you always get stuck with.'

"Shut up, Bahamut," Squall muttered as he touched the lion painted on the side of the blade, near the handle. There was some sort of sealant keeping it from getting damaged, and Squall glanced down to find the cleaning and resealing solution packed in a small impression built into the case near the tip of the blade.

"Is it okay?" Matron asked, stepping over with two plates of cake.

" 'Is it okay'?" Beau muttered as he made for the two SeeDs who were managing the helm with cake for them; Squall suspected Matron had bought the gunblade for the lion's head, and only later wondered if Squall would actually be able to use the weapon. "Let the kid give it a swing before you go around asking him if he likes it!"

Matron sighed. "After cake," she insisted, holding out the two plates.

The cake was wonderful, and far better than anything they served at the Garden cafeteria, no matter what Zell said about their hot dogs.

"You'll just have to take the rest back with you and share it with your friends," Matron said as she packed it carefully back up, ignoring Beau's hopeful puppy eyes. "Now, why don't you try out that weapon."

"Gunblade," Squall and Beau corrected at the same time, much to Sis's amusement, judging by the way she started giggling.

"Oh dear," Matron said with a sigh.

He pulled out the gunblade with care, giving himself a moment to find its balance, in spite of the uneven movements of the ship. (He spared a brief wonder for how many of his classmates could move with a familiar weapon on a moving boat, and tried not to smirk upon deciding there wouldn't be many of them.)

It was a good blade, he realised, looking down the length of it as he resettled his grip. Heavier than he was used to, with the gun mechanism, but it was balanced well, and it felt...comfortable in his hold.

He checked the positions of everyone on the deck, then moved easily through the first sword kata he'd learned.

"It's perfect," he decided once he was done, tilting the blade and touching the lion figure.

"You're not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?" Matron asked as she moved forward.

Beau snorted. "He really isn't." He caught Squall's eyes when he glanced up. "It looks good."

Squall looked back down at his new weapon, then to his old sword hanging at his side, and sighed. "This sheath is not going to work," he complained.

Beau chuckled and glanced towards the front of the ship, where they could just see the gleam of Balamb Town against the backdrop of the Gaulg Mountain Range. "The weapon shop in Balamb should have something. We'll stop there before heading back up to Garden."

When they docked, Squall stopped for hugs with Sis and Matron while Beau moved down the boarding ramp ahead of him, carrying the new gunblade's case and the cake Matron had insisted Squall take (he didn't have the heart to tell her he didn't really have any friends to share it with).

"We'll try and visit for the winter holiday," Matron told him. "If we can't make it, we'll definitely be here in the spring."

Squall smiled at her. "I'll keep an eye out, then."

Matron kissed his forehead, then waved him down towards the waiting captain.

The weapon's shop did indeed have a sheath for the gunblade, as well as the weapon's name: Revolver.

"Leave it to Edea to not bother remembering the name of the gift she bought," Beau joked as he drove them out of town.

Squall shook his head, amused. "I'm surprised she got a weapon at all," he admitted.

Beau snorted. "You and me both. I almost asked if she had a fever when she told me what it was." He let out a sigh, humour draining away. "Then I saw the cover and realised why she got it. You gonna be okay, kid?"

Squall stared down at the new weapon in his lap, fingers tracing over the chambers. "Yeah," he decided.

"It's always going to hurt," Beau offered.

Squall sighed and looked up towards Garden, touching the necklace hanging heavy against his chest. "I'm discovering that."

Beau reached over and gave his shoulder a quick squeeze before he returned his hand to the gear stick and shifted them down as they turned onto the road down into the car park.

They hadn't quite reached the central walkway of the hub when a voice called, "Leonhart!"

"Right," Squall realised, turning towards where he could see Seifer stalking out of the Training Centre, Raijin not far behind. "Forgot about that."

"About what?" Beau asked, watching Seifer approach with a narrowed gaze.

Seifer slowed as he saw Squall's companion, his furious expression turning to something more cautious. "Leonhart," he offered carefully as he came to a stop a couple paces away, Raijin stopping at a distance behind him. "Skipping out on spars is not cool."

Squall rolled his eyes. "And you'd know all about cool, wouldn't you?" he retorted and one side of Seifer's mouth curled up in a silent smirk. "Beau, this is Seifer Almasy, my sparring partner. Seifer, Captain Beau Owens of the SeeD ship Alexander."

Seifer's eyes widened as he looked Beau over. "You've got some high up friends, Squally," he commented in a manner that was trying to be unimpressed.

"Seifer Almasy," Beau repeated. "Why is that name familiar?"

"Ask Matron," Squall suggested as he reached out for his things. "Speaking of, you should head back to town. I hardly need you shadowing me to my dorm."

"Matron would never forgive me if I let you drop her cake," Beau joked as he handed everything over.

"I promise not to tell her if I do."

Beau chuckled and ruffled his hair. "Take care of yourself, kid."

Squall gave a firm nod. "Take care of Sis for me."

"You got it." Beau snapped off a SeeD salute with a wink, then turned and started back towards the car park.

Squall looked up at Seifer and found him giving the front of Revolver's case a strange look. "Something on your mind, Almasy?" he bit out, unable to help the hostile tone. He knew how Seifer was, and the last thing Squall wanted to deal with today was him deciding to pick on Squall's attachment to lions.

Seifer's gaze jerked up and stopped on the cake box. "Why do you have a cake, Leonhart?"

Squall blinked, thrown by the unexpected subject change, and honestly answered, "It's my birthday."

Seifer raised both eyebrows at him. "Damn, Leonhart. Not a bad setup you got there: a ride out of here for the day and a mom to make you cake."

"Matron isn't my mother," Squall corrected, looking at the cake box for a moment, then past Seifer's considering glance towards where Raijin was waiting. His own roommate was home for the holiday, and there was no way he could surround a cake by himself. He'd figured he would give a piece to Cid and then just eat as much of the rest as he could before it got gross, but he'd watched Raijin in the cafeteria often enough to know that he would be happy to make a dent in the cake, and he and Seifer could easily finish the rest. "Hey, Nakai!"

Raijin looked uncertain for a moment before ambling forward, expression curious. "Leonhart." He blinked. "Is that a gunblade?"

"What?!" Seifer complained, stalking forward and to one side so he could get a look at where Revolver hung against Squall's arse. "Oh, fuck you, Leonhart," he bit out. "I've been saving up for a gunblade for months."

Squall shrugged. "I didn't ask for it." He lifted the cake box carefully. "If you two want any cake, I'm heading for the dorms." So saying, he turned and started that way.

Seifer fell in next to him before he'd gone five steps, scowling for all he was worth. "Cake does not make up for missing our spar," he warned.

"I got kidnapped by a ranking officer. Cut me some slack."

"I'm not sure I'm inclined to be that fair."

Squall cut the blond a glance. "Seifer, if you're going to be jealous about the gunblade, just be jealous about the gunblade."

"You hated the revolver-style anyway, ya know," Raijin helpfully pointed out.

Seifer pointed at Squall. "There you go. Why would I be jealous of your new weapon when I didn't even like it?"

"I don't make a habit of trying to figure out what you're thinking," Squall retorted, even though he actually, sort of, way too often...did.

Seifer snorted, apparently deciding that didn't deserve a response.

The three of them managed to surround the last of the cake – save a piece Squall set aside for Cid, ignoring Seifer's crack about him having a girlfriend – with only a limited amount of abuse thrown back and forth. Raijin asked to see Revolver and Squall was happy to show his gunblade off, ignoring Seifer's huffing the whole while.

Raijin and Seifer left shortly before lights out, and Squall snuck out after them and made his way to the back staircase that led up to the staff and guest rooms. Cid had pointed out his own room back when he'd shown Squall to a guest room, and he knocked on the door now, last slice of cake held uncertainly at his side.

Cid opened the door after a moment, blinking in surprise at his visitor. "Squall?" he asked.

Squall nodded and held up the plastic-covered cake. "Matron made cake and made me bring it back. I thought you'd appreciate a slice."

Cid smiled then, understanding. "Thank you, Squall," he offered as he took the cake and set it off to the side somewhere just inside the room. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah," Squall decided, before recalling, "Matron said she's going to try to come by for the winter holiday."

"I had heard something along those lines from the last scout to pass through," Cid admitted. "With any luck, no emergencies will arise that require Alexander to make extended land-fall or keep them from travelling."

Squall, having lived on the ship in question, knew it wasn't uncommon for something to spook a sentry and have them hiding in the Centra Crater for months on end. "I hope not," he admitted.

"I'll let you know if it sounds like they won't be coming," Cid promised. "For now, bed."

"Yes, sir," Squall returned, turning away.

"And, Squall?"

"Sir?"

"Happy birthday."

Squall offered a smile over his shoulder. "Thanks, Uncle Cid." Then he left for the stairs back down and his room.

He didn't realise that his magic had calmed back down until he was already in bed and dozing off; as much as he missed Sis and Matron and living on the sea, there was something fantastic about being able to relax his hold on his magic.

-0-

Chapters:
1 - Water in My Eyes ||| 2 - Delusional Sunset ||| 3 - Reach For Your Metal
4 - Carry This Burden Alone ||| 5 - Somewhere Worse Than Here ||| 6 - Bound and Breakin'
7 - Clouds of Sulphur ||| 8 - I Will Be With You ||| 9 - Every Story I Have Told is a Part of Me & You
10 - Burning in the Skies ||| 11 - Colour of Your Soul ||| 12 - Beneath My Wings

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