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batsutousaiTitle: Reverti Ad Praeteritum
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood/manga
Author: Batsutousai
Rating: Mature
Pairings: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang, May Chang/Alphonse Elric, Gracia Hughes/Maes Hughes, post-Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell
Warnings: Spoilers like whoa, Ed's potty mouth, canon-typical violence, pile 'o OCs, mute!Ed, original character death, angst, fluff, past dub-con, past adultery, Ed has all the guilt
Summary: Unwillingly forced to serve as a human trial for a crazy alchemist experimenting with time travel, Edward Elric finds himself standing across from Truth in the moment it takes his leg from him. Armed with the knowledge of what's to come and burdened with guilt for the choices he'd made as an adult, Ed sets out to fix every mistake he ever made and save every life they ever lost, no matter what it takes.
Key: "Speech" | 'Mouthing words'
'Writing'
:Sign Language:
"In another language" | 'In another language'
A/N: XD Laughing at all of you hoping Maes/Al finds them on the couch together.
ALSO! dragonsroar1234 (tumblr) wrote fanfic for Reverti, which is adorable and awesome (and some parts mirror future events so freakishly well, I'm still trying to figure out how they got into my fic notes XD). You can find it here on tumblr.
AND, Lolibat surprised me with fanart of Roy! :D Link to it on tumblr.
I'm so freakishly happy Reverti is inspiring fanwork, you people have no idea.
OH! Unrelated to the fic, but if anyone happens to be near Washington DC this weekend for the Cherry Blossom Festival and walks through Sakura Matsuri (the one-day street festival) on Saturday, I'll be volunteering at the info booth by the New Jersey & N Street entrance all day. Feel free to come say hi! (I actually accidentally planned the update schedule around that, and I'm ridiculously happy about it, now, because I'm pretty sure I have to leave at 6am tomorrow morning to be there in time for setup. Whoops?)
Chapter Eighteen
-0-
When Ed woke up the next time, he was still on the couch with Roy – who was sleeping, judging by the motions of his chest under Ed's head – and two little faces were staring up at him, their curious qi poking at him. He scowled at them and Nina grinned, while Elicia ducked her head, trying to pretend to be sorry.
Ed let out a quiet huff and waved them out of the way, then slipped out of Roy's relaxed hold – apparently without waking him, thank fuck – stretching once he'd stood.
Elicia attached herself to his leg, casting him a hopeful look, and Ed sighed and nodded, then motioned for the two girls to lead the way towards the kitchen, while he collected his and Roy's mugs to put in the sink.
Gracia was usually the first one up, and she would make sure the girls were fed and didn't bother anyone, but there had been a few times when her and Hughes' bedroom door had been locked and she'd slept in – Ed had his suspicions, but didn't consider it his business, so kept any knowing looks to himself, unlike some nosy people he could name – and Nina and Elicia had come to stare at Ed until he got up. (And Ed appreciated that they didn't do the rambunctious 'flop onto Dad and roll around until he gets up' routine that his daughter had so enjoyed, and his son had occasionally stooped to on his birthday, but the prodding qi was only a little less annoying.)
Well, he supposed he should be grateful, this time, since it meant it wasn't Hughes or Al who found him sleeping on Roy, and the girls weren't likely to mention where they'd found Ed when they'd woken him.
He got them breakfast, started the coffee percolator, made sure they would be okay by themselves for a few minutes – Ed may have picked up Hughes' bad habit of promising sweets for good behaviour – then went to use the toilet.
Roy was up when Ed made it back downstairs, and had propped himself up against the worktop, staring sleepily at the percolator. It was unexpectedly endearing, and Ed found himself torn between walking over and – what the fuck – kissing the bastard, and continuing to stand there, drinking in the rare unguarded moment.
"We didn't wake him," Nina insisted quietly, saving Ed from his personal dilemma.
:I know,: he signed, and both Nina and Elicia relaxed.
When he looked back towards Roy, he found the man giving Elicia and Nina a suspicious look, looking a bit more awake. "Aren't children supposed to be loud and obnoxious and wake everyone in the house?" he asked, keeping his own voice down.
Nina and Elicia traded looks, before Nina admitted, "We get sweets if we're quiet."
Roy raised an eyebrow at Ed as he stepped into the kitchen. "You're picking up Maes' bad habits."
Ed snorted. :It works. And they don't need to make noise to wake me, they just need to stare at me.:
Roy blinked a few times, before he clearly got it. "You're that sensitive to...what did Alphonse call it again?"
:Q-I. And, yes, when it's aimed at me, I am.:
"Ah." Roy nodded and turned back to the coffee.
"What?" Nina called, just barely quiet enough that she shouldn't wake anyone else. "What, what, wha–?"
Ed shot her a glare and her mouth snapped shut, but she didn't bother with looking ashamed, just widened her eyes and bounced in her chair a bit.
Roy coughed, his qi a bright pillar of amusement just off to one side behind Ed.
Ed sighed and stepped around the worktop separating the kitchen and the dining room, so they could better see as he slowly signed, :All living things put off energy.:
The girls turned to frown at each other, Nina signing each sign and one of the two whispering when they got it.
"I shouldn't be surprised they're picking up signing," Roy murmured as he came to stand next to Ed, holding out a mug of coffee for him.
Ed took a cautious sip, was pleasantly surprised to find sugar in it – either Al had been telling his own tales, or the bastard had been paying a lot more attention to what Ed had put in his coffee while they'd been waiting for their State Alchemist exam results in Hughes' office than Ed had noticed – and signed one-handed, :Thank you,: before setting the mug on the worktop next to him to add, :They picked some up while Gracia was learning and figured some out themselves from context clues. A few months ago, Nina brought over one of her learning to read books and asked me to sign the words, so they've been learning that way.:
"That's...clever," Roy decided, sounding a little impressed.
Ed allowed a smile. :Her father was a bit–: he cleared his throat; Roy would get it, and he didn't like insulting Tucker in front of Nina :–but he wasn't stupid. They're both a bit too smart, sometimes.:
Nina perked up, clearly having seen that. "We're smart," she declared, looking so ridiculously proud of herself.
Across the table, Elicia straightened and nodded. "Super smarts."
Ed very firmly hid his smile in his coffee, while Roy chuckled and agreed, "So I've been told. Did you figure out what your big brother was signing?"
Nina looked toward Elicia, apparently deciding to let her have the spotlight, which was awesome and adorable, and Elicia blinked once before giving a vigorous nod and saying, "All living things give 'way energy."
:Close,: Ed signed, smiling, before helpfully repeating, :Put off,: before picking his mug up for another sip of his coffee.
"Ah. Give off," Roy translated, and both girls made noises of understanding, Nina mouthing the translation while she made the sign.
Ed set his mug back down hard enough to be obviously audible and, once both girls were looking at him, signed, :Big Brother Al and I can sense that energy.:
They got a bit tripped up at 'sense', and Roy helpfully said, "Sense. You know how we all have five senses?"
They both perked up at that, listing each one off a bit out of sync.
Ed coughed a laugh into his hand and turned to find himself something to eat.
"Your big brothers both have a sixth sense that lets them be aware of the energy that living things give off," Roy explained.
"Cool," Nina and Elicia chorused.
"I wanna learn!" Nina decided, way too loud.
Ed rolled his eyes and turned to sign, over the worktop, :You have to be very calm and very quiet for a long time before you can do it.:
Cue much whining, once they translated enough of that, because calm and quiet weren't really things either of them liked to do.
:Really?: Roy signed, low enough that the girls wouldn't see it.
Ed shrugged and nodded, because meditation had helped a lot, once he stopped trying to approach the issue scientifically.
There came the sound of a door opening from upstairs, and Elicia and Nina shut up, trading wide-eyed looks, before turning to Ed, shamefaced.
Ed raised an eyebrow at them, then turned back to getting his food so he could smile.
"I thought I heard little voices causing trouble," Hughes said as he stepped into the dining room a minute later.
"Noooo," Elicia whined, while Nina insisted, "You didn't hear anything! We were quiet!"
"That sounds suspiciously like some sweets just got forfeit," Hughes said, and both girls let out groans.
Once Hughes had passed him, Roy did something that Ed didn't quite catch, and Nina and Elicia both visibly cheered up; Ed suspected the bastard was aiming to become 'favourite uncle'.
With Hughes and, after another minute, Gracia both up and looking for food and coffee, Ed took his own items and settled at the table, Roy following his lead. Once he'd sat, Ed snapped his fingers to catch Elicia and Nina's attention, then signed, :My sixth sense?:
Both girls slumped a bit, and Nina made the sign that had come to mean, 'this subject is a secret that needs to not be mentioned outside this house or around strangers'. Which, well, they were pretty good about policing each other, but Ed suspected that would stop working when Nina started school next year. At least, by then, the Dwarf in the Flask would have been dealt with, which meant a lot of the family's secrets would be, if not out in the open, no longer life-or-death.
Ed nodded to them and turned to the effort of demolishing his breakfast.
Elicia and Nina had moved off to play quietly in the living room, and Roy and the Hugheses were all working on their own breakfasts – Gracia had put something down in front of Roy with a hard look and he'd responded with his stupid charming smile and a polite "Thank you" – while Ed was pretty much finished with his, before Al started downstairs, his qi preceding him down the stairs and into the dining room, a spiky mess of discomfort and a sort of grim loneliness.
It took Ed a moment, but he did recall that Al hadn't been in Central for the past nine months, didn't have the same resistance against the crawling from below them that Ed had built up, and he was out of his chair and moving towards the doorway before Al stepped into view, eyes squinted like he wasn't quite prepared to commit to consciousness.
Ed caught him in a hug as soon as he reached his brother, and Al slumped in his hold, hands coming up to clutch at the back of the vest Ed always wore to sleep in. He held him for a long moment, until Al's qi had smoothed out to a more acceptable level of discomfort, and the loneliness had vanished entirely, then disentangled himself and led his brother to the percolator, where he poured him a mug and handed it over, let Al lean against him while he drank it and woke up.
Once Al seemed awake enough to actually comprehend him, Ed signed, :I'm sorry. I forgot.:
"How could you forget?" Al demanded with a sleepy glare around his mug. "They're there."
:Built up a tolerance.:
Al very firmly left him to go sit at the table, muttering uncomplimentary things to his coffee in Xingan.
Ed sighed and got something for his brother to eat, then brought it over to him, only to find himself pinned by curious stares from Hughes and Roy. :WHAT?: he demanded once he'd put the food down in front of Al.
:More secrets?: Hughes signed, raising an eyebrow.
Al ducked his head and started on his breakfast; he wasn't going to be any help.
Ed sighed and took a moment to rub at his eyes as he returned to his seat, try and figure out how to explain the Stones underground. A part of him still shied away from letting anyone else know there were a nearly unlimited number of Philosopher's Stones under their feet, but he hadn't been lying, in that one letter, about trusting Roy with one, and he knew the Hugheses wouldn't go spreading the information around.
Well, Al had been right, in a way, when he'd pushed Ed to show off his water alchemy: There were some things you had to share with your allies. They intended to take care of the Stones after everything was over, and Hughes and Roy would find out about them then, if not sooner; better they find out now, than it becoming a big deal later, when they couldn't afford for it to be.
:The reason the Dwarf in the Flask can stop western alchemy, is that there's a layer of Philosopher's Stones underground.:
Gracia paled and shifted, while both Roy and Hughes swallowed and looked distinctly uncomfortable.
"Well," Hughes said with a twisted attempt at a smile, his hands clenched, white-knuckled, around his empty coffee mug, "that was more than I ever wanted to know about the composition of the ground."
Al let out a snort.
:You can sense them,: Gracia guessed, her hands shaky.
:Outside Command,: Roy signed, realisation painting the column of his qi, :that first time. It wasn't the Dwarf in the Flask you were sensing, was it?:
"No," Al admitted quietly.
:It is more noticeable the closer to him we are,: Ed offered. :It's harder to ignore in Central City, than in East City, and it's worse the closer to Command you get. It's better once we climb up into Command, but it's really bad in the underground tunnels.:
Al twisted and shot him a sharp look, shock in his qi. "What do you mean, 'underground'?"
:I'll show you tonight,: Ed promised.
Al squeezed his eyes shut. "Couldn't you have at least told me you were doing something...I don't know, potentially dangerous?"
:Pot meet kettle,: Ed signed, even though Al wasn't looking.
"To be fair," Roy offered blandly, "you also have a habit of only notifying us of your misdeeds after the fact, Alphonse."
Al grimaced. "Well, yeah, but that's–" He opened his eyes, caught sight of Ed's raised eyebrow, and deflated slightly. "I guess."
Hughes snorted.
Roy cleared his throat. "What does it feel like?"
"What does...what feel like?" Al asked, while Ed turned his raised eyebrow on the bastard.
Roy pointed at the floor.
Oh. :What is your obsession with how things feel to us?: Ed signed with a scowl, because the bastard had asked about the homunculi, too.
"Like you wouldn't be curious," Hughes commented, and Ed turned his scowl on him.
"Like hundreds of ants," Al said quietly, catching the attention of Roy and both Hugheses, "crawling on you. Endlessly." He glanced up at Ed, who tried a smile, but was fairly certain it was more of a grimace. Al turned back to the others. "Brother's right, I guess: I learnt to ignore it, mostly, in East City, but it's so strong here." He glanced back at Ed again, something very like sorrow in his qi, as though the fact that Ed had managed to adapt to the sensation of the Stones, rather than going crazy, was something to regret. (More likely, if Ed was being honest, Al just regretted that Ed had been forced to adapt alone.)
Ed shrugged, feeling a bit uncomfortable as regret bled into Hughes and Gracia's qi. :It's not that hard, when you've got excitable children at home and in the office.:
It took him a minute, but then Hughes straightened. "What do you mean, 'in the office'?"
Ed flashed him a bright smile. :Speaking of, I wonder if we have new crayon drawings on the coffee table yet.:
"Oh dear," Gracia said in that tone that suggested she was resigned to the destruction of her furniture.
Hughes narrowed his eyes. "Oh, you're not getting out of this that easily, Ed."
Ed wiggled his fingers in a quasi-goodbye and made his escape, looking in to make sure Elicia and Nina weren't getting into trouble – they were shoving dolls under the couch again; still didn't want to know – then went to go change into fresh clothing; his sleep vest and trousers were comfortable, and he usually didn't have anything against wearing them around the house for most of the weekend, but it felt a little weird, with Roy here. (Because falling asleep on him was somehow less weird than wearing sleep clothing most of the day; what the fuck ever, brain.)
They ended up enjoying a relatively quiet day in, and it did seem to help Al settle a bit, being surrounded by friendly faces for a full day.
Once Elicia and Nina had been put to bed, Ed pulled out his maps of the tunnels under Command and spread them out over the dining room table. Al swore in Xingan at the extent, while Roy let out a quiet whistle.
"Looks a little insane, doesn't it?" Hughes offered with a grin that was more 'we're so fucked' than any attempt at amusement.
Ed huffed. :This is for Scar,: he signed, more for Al and Roy than for the Hugheses, who already knew. :He needs to place the reverse array in the centre of Amestris.:
"Which is in Command," Roy murmured, looking over Ed's careful maps.
"The centre of the parade grounds, according to Ed," Hughes offered, smoothing out a bent corner of one of the map pieces closer to him. "Given the shoot-on-sight order for Scar, it's safer to send him underground."
"You'll have to get him into one of the labs," Roy pointed out, since all the entrance points were clearly marked as either the labs, Command, or the Führer's residence.
Al snorted. "That shouldn't be too hard. We cause a distraction on the parade grounds – blow something important up, or start shouting the truth about this country – and no one's going to care if Majhul is going in through one of the labs."
"I'm sorry, 'Majhul'?" Hughes asked, while Roy and Gracia added their own confused looks.
Al winced. "Oh, ah..." He glanced at Ed, who shrugged; he knew Scar as 'Scar', and would probably always think of him like that, even if the man finally gave him a name to use, so he hadn't seen any point in passing on that unfamiliar name, especially since his sign-name for the man didn't change, and they had to call him 'Scar' at the office. Al rubbed at the back of his neck and glanced between the others. " 'Majhul' is what Ishvalans call someone who's given up their name."
"And how, Major Elric, do you know this?" Roy asked in that 'disapproving commanding officer' voice that had driven Ed nuts as a kid. (That he referred to Al by his technical rank and last name, rather than the State Alchemist name a different Roy Mustang had always used on Ed, was interesting. Ed suspected it was partly because of why they'd joined up, part how Al had spent his time under Roy's command so far, and part the fact that Al was older than Ed had been when he'd originally joined up.)
Al...slouched a bit, his qi awash in shame.
Ed blinked and leant forward so his brother would see him sign, :He doesn't know you went down there?: Because...really? Al hadn't shared that with Roy?
(Okay, to be fair, Ed had never shared exactly what Al had called about that one time with Hughes or Gracia, but he hadn't been the one putting himself in danger.)
Al shook his head in response to Ed, swallowed, and told everyone else, "Brother said there were Ishvalans living in the East City slums, so I went to ask."
"Of course you did," Hughes said, shaking his head, clearly resigned to Al's careless disregard for his own safety the same way he'd resigned himself to Ed's.
Roy just sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, then glanced back down at the map. "You're aware that this planned distraction may not catch everyone's attention?"
Al grimaced and looked at Ed.
He shrugged. :One of us can go down to the Dwarf in the Flask's lair, while the other causes trouble on the parade grounds? That should, at least, get the attention of all the homunculi, and Scar can get past normal soldiers and alchemists.:
"Send a couple of people from my or Maes' command with him and he shouldn't need to fight his way through," Roy pointed out.
:That's Scar's choice,: Ed returned, shaking his head. :I told him we'd provide assistance if he wanted it, or he's welcome to take his own people.:
"Nothing saying they can't escort him into the building, then stay behind and cause a distraction of their own," Hughes pointed out, crossing his arms tight over his chest. "The more distractions you cause, the less likely anyone is to care about the party sneaking through the underbelly."
"Anyone who gets involved in a distraction chances getting shot," Al pointed out quietly, his qi as strained as Ed felt. "Brother and I should be safe – they can't really afford to kill us – but anyone else..."
"We all know the risks," Hughes replied flatly, and Gracia touched his shoulder and gave a firm nod. "If this fails, we're as good as dead, anyway; I'd rather take a bullet on the battlefield, than wait to have my soul stolen while hiding under a table."
"You're not the only ones with people to protect," Gracia added quietly, her qi a mass of fear and determination.
Hughes clenched his jaw, and Ed couldn't help but wonder what arguments he and Gracia had behind closed doors, in regards to this whole mess. For all his jokes about sleeping through the coup so he'd be fresh for the clean-up, Ed had known that Hughes would be as willing to sit this out as Ed himself was. And Gracia, despite not being a fighter at all, he could easily see in some sort of support position, like helping whatever field medics they had, or running ammunition.
It scared him, sometimes, how hard everyone he told the truth turned. He hated it, that he'd left this terrible burden on Al and Winry and Gracia's shoulders, and that they'd all found ways to cope: Al putting himself in danger for potentially useful information, Winry learning to speak in code and designing the best automail she could, and Gracia looking like she'd fight tooth-and-nail for the right to take a place on the battlefield.
She reminded Ed of another mother who had played a huge part on the Promised Day, before, though it hadn't been until later that she'd turned into a tigress in protection of what little family had remained: Mrs Bradley. Which made him think of a plan.
:You want a distraction?: he signed with a lion's smile, and the other four mirrored it as he told them his idea.
Chaos and misdirection had been one of their greatest allies, before; why not use it again?
After their unplanned planning session had been concluded, all of them agreeing they needed some sleep and to brainstorm further ideas, Ed led the way back into his room. Once Al had closed the door, Ed signed, :I should show you something.:
Al frowned and knelt across from where Ed was sitting on the floor next to his bed, his alchemically protected case next to him. :What did you do?:
:It's not what I did,: Ed offered, before opening his case and pulling out Colourway's hidden painting. He carefully unfolded it, then held it up for his brother to see.
Al's eyes went wide and he breathed out a, "Shit."
Ed set it on his bed, then signed, :I don't think he really understands what it's for.:
Al's eyes sharpened on him, disbelief all too obvious in his qi. :You trusted someone you don't know?: he signed rapidly, because Ed had never made any secret of the fact that he hadn't had anything to do with any other State Alchemists, outside of Roy and Armstrong. (Well, and Kimblee and Marcoh, but those two didn't really count, for obvious reasons.)
:I didn't realise what I'd given away right away,: Ed admitted with a helpless smile.
Al covered his face and muttered something too low for Ed to even be certain of the language he used.
Ed huffed and poked him with his foot until he looked up, then signed, :I did keep an eye on his qi. I trust his honesty.:
Al glanced towards the red array on the bed, his expression troubled. :Okay,: he signed after a long moment, looking back at Ed. :You know him best, and it hasn't seemed to catch anyone's unwanted attention?:
Ed nodded. :Not that I've noticed. I originally told Colourway to hide it, but he can't take them out of the lab, so he hid it with the other one and had me get it out. Envy was right there and didn't seem to care.:
Al took that all in, then nodded. :The lieutenant colonel said you've had that up for months?:
:April.:
Al nodded again. :Do you think we can use him at all?:
Ed blinked and took a moment to consider that. Colourway wasn't really a fighter, not so far as Ed could tell from watching him in the lab, or what files he'd managed to get his hands on, so he couldn't really do anything. Except...
:Maybe,: he allowed, signing slowly. :He works in a lab with access to explosive chemicals.:
:Distraction at lab four?: Al guessed. :If everyone thinks he's a bit mad...:
Ed nodded. :I'll have to find a way to talk to him about it.:
Al tilted his head to one side, expression thoughtful. :Can you track him down on the civilian side?:
:Probably,: Ed allowed; Colourway and his wife owned the only art gallery in Central City, which was small, and not something Ed was really interested in, but if Roy liked art... :We'll bring it up with the others, figure out a reason to meet him one weekend.:
Al nodded in agreement, so Ed carefully folded the nationwide array back up and slipped it and his maps away, before relocking the case and sliding it back under the bed.
"Brother?" Al asked quietly, as Ed made to stand.
Ed settled back onto the floor and tilted his head in inquiry.
Al pressed his hands together, his qi a tense mass, and swallowed before quietly asking, in Xingan, "This week, can we do the library, and I come with you on your tour of the labs? All of them."
Of course it was this. Of course. :Fine,: he signed roughly, before getting to his feet.
Al remained sitting on the floor, his qi a mass of upset and regret and determination. Not victory, thankfully, or Ed probably would have just gone to sleep downstairs, and damn whatever comments Hughes had when he found out.
"I don't like you being angry with me," Al said, quiet enough that Ed could have pretended not to hear him.
Ed didn't pretend, though, spun and signed, :Then don't do shit you know is going to piss me off! Idiot!:
"You could stop being so overprotective!" Al hissed back.
'I can't turn off loving you!' Ed mouthed, because his hands were shaking too much to trust with signing. (Anger. They were shaking with anger, not... Not anything else. All he felt was anger.) 'I promised Mum–'
"You can't keep using that excuse, Edward!" Al snapped, a little too loud. "I'm old enough–!"
Ed's hand snapped out without his permission, and he honestly thought he would hit Al, for a second – by the widening of his eyes, Al thought the same – but he managed to control it so he only covered Al's mouth, silencing him. 'You,' he mouthed, slow and firm, glad not being able to talk meant his voice couldn't break or choke off, 'are thirteen, Alphonse, and that makes you my responsibility.'
He stepped back, somehow kept his lips from forming the damning truth: I am a shit guardian.
Someone knocked on the door, and Gracia quietly called, "Everything okay in there?"
Ed turned back to his wardrobe to finish getting dressed, leaving it for Al to give a loud swallow, then reply, "We're fine," in a voice that only shook a little.
"Okay," Gracia replied, and Ed could tell by the worried roll of her qi that she didn't buy that. "Good night."
"Good night," Al said for both of them. He was silent for a long moment, probably tracking Gracia's progress down the hall and back into her and Hughes' room, before he quietly said, "You can't lock me up in a padded cell, Brother. I'm going to get hurt, eventually, and it's probably going to be sooner, rather than later, because we're facing off against monsters, like you always say. That's not... You can't take responsibility for every bad thing that's happened to me. That will happen to me. Just like I can't–" He stopped, took a breath that stuttered loud enough for Ed to hear, back turned and eyes closed, like that would keep him from understanding his brother, the same way it let others keep from understanding him.
"All we can do, now, is promise to be there to pick up the pieces. To not– To stop fighting about this stuff, all the time. Can we–" Al's breath caught in a way that stabbed at Ed's heart, made him squeeze his eyes shut even tighter, because he didn't have the right to shed tears. "I miss you," Al said, his voice heavy with emotion. "I miss living under the same roof and trying to get out of poetry lessons together and that stupid teasing about May and avoiding Teacher when she kept trying to kill us. I miss– I miss building a bridge with you."
The one thing they had never managed to do separately; Al didn't know the full story behind that bridge – Ed had never bothered to tell him – but that didn't make it any less symbolic of the simple truth: They always managed, together, what was impossible apart. Something that had become doubly true, with Ed's disability.
Ed turned and knelt, blindly reaching for his brother. Al met him halfway, curling into his embrace and returning it, his hands clutching at the back of Ed's shirt the same way Ed's hands clung to Al's shoulders, while a damp patch grew under Al's cheek.
Neither of them apologised. For Ed, apologising would be like saying he wouldn't worry about his brother any more, like he'd stop putting him first. And he knew – suspected, at least – that apologising, for Al, would feel like giving Ed permission to tell him no, to play the part of the father that neither of them had ever had.
When they finally drew apart, Ed sighed and pulled off his shirt, then used it to wipe at Al's wet eyes, dodging his brother's attempts to make him stop. They both got changed in silence and, when they finally climbed into bed, Al curled in close to Ed, and he wrapped his brother in a hug, like he could protect him from all the coming dangers.
Or, at the least, he could insulate Al a bit against the crawling from underground.
Ed's birthday was spent outside, for the most part, the weather cooperating and giving them a gorgeous day. They ended up paying a visit to the bookshop Ed loved, and Al clearly fell in love himself, because Ed could feel Elicia and Nina's annoyed qi from a couple aisles away, very obviously not focussed on him, for once.
A pillar of calm qi came up behind him, and it was an honest struggle to keep his eyes on the page he'd been reading. (Seriously. How did the bastard do that? Ed didn't just get distracted from alchemical theory, unless someone was trying to kill him, or Al was in trouble. But someone just calmly approaching him? Never.)
"Edward," Roy murmured, one hand coming to rest on his shoulder. Innocent enough for anyone looking, but the contact felt like a hot brand through the fabric of his shirt. And the bastard's qi was not helping, as it seemed to have developed the sentience necessary to wrap itself around Ed in a weird, insubstantial sort of hug.
Holding two different books, both open, was probably the only thing that saved Ed from signing something embarrassing. As it was, he barely managed to put on a cross look as he finally looked up.
Roy smiled at him, way too fucking fond, but Ed had got distracted in a dark corner, where no one was likely to actually catch sight of the bastard's expression without one of the two of them aware of it. "We should head out, if we intend to make our reservation." And then he looked down at the handbasket at Ed's feet, and his fond smile took on a wry edge. "Maybe we should have brought the car."
Ed looked down himself, letting the books in his hands close, absently freeing the one from inside the other as they did, and couldn't quite keep a slightly embarrassed, helpless smile from crossing his face at the pile of books in it; he'd found a...few interesting books. (Ten was a few, right?)
"We might consider asking them to hold most of these and you can come back for them later."
Ed coughed and knelt to set the books he'd been holding in the basket, then looked up and signed, :You realise I shouldn't be allowed in here without supervision.:
Amusement curled through Roy's qi, fond and so fucking warm. "Maes or I will come pick them up for you, then," he amended, before holding down a hand.
Ed scoffed at the hand – even if they could be open about...whatever this was, he wouldn't have let the bastard help him up – and stood on his own, hefting the basket with only a quiet grunt.
Ed had finished checking out, and Roy was sorting out the specifics of their system for holding books to be picked up later, before Al and the Hugheses made it over. Hughes raised an eyebrow at Ed, before glancing pointedly towards Roy, and Ed scowled; yeah, fine, the bastard was a better at distracting him from the books than Elicia and Nina, so what?
And then Hughes realised what Roy was discussing with the shopkeep and quickly agreed that Ed and Al shouldn't be allowed back in the shop without supervision, even just to pick up a few books, which made the shopkeep let out a knowing laugh. (She looked a bit familiar; Ed suspected she'd been there at least once to watch Ed be dragged out by whining, begging girls. That, or Ed wasn't the only patron of the shop who had trouble with the concept of 'only visiting for ten minutes'.)
They ended up only walking out with one book for each Ed and Al, and a couple small books for Elicia and Nina, all of which Gracia slipped into her purse with a wink, while the rest of their piles were held for later.
At the restaurant, Ed was completely unsurprised to find himself seated between Roy and Al, though Nina and Elicia both looked a bit put out that they weren't sitting next to Ed. (They were consoled by promises of being allowed to sit with him on the couch, once they got home.)
Al seconded Ed's opinion that the stew was perfect, and Ed bore getting sung happy birthday to by the entire waiting staff, his party, and a couple of patrons who had suspiciously military bearings – he was going to kill Hughes – with his best patient smile. And then, once they'd been left with their desserts, Ed pulled out his notebook and wrote, 'Do not EVER let Hughes be involved in the planning again,' in Xingan.
Al laughed. "I'll do my best," he promised.
"Ah!" Hughes interrupted. "No secret conversations over dessert!"
"Yeah!" Nina agreed, waving a frosting-covered fork at them, while Elicia insisted, "No secreting!" with her best disapproving look.
"I most humbly apologise," Al said, giving a careful bow over his own food, which seemed to appease the girls, at least.
Despite, Ed was certain, Al and Hughes' best intentions, Roy made a point to treat Ed like another him had treated Al-in-armour. Which was to say, with more obvious respect and less 'I expect you to obey me' attitude than he did with anyone in his command, but less obvious fondness than he showed Elicia and Nina, neither of whom really understood the concept of acting differently in public than at home.
Which, okay, a part of Ed was still trying to get used to thinking of the bastard as 'Roy' instead of 'Mustang', and the rest of him was struggling with this...whatever it was between them, so he kind of appreciated that the bastard was behaving himself in public. More to the point, he was glad that Roy seemed content to give Ed his space around Al and Hughes, though he couldn't say whether that was because it annoyed the two meddlers, or because he'd realised that Ed...hadn't quite sorted this whole thing out, yet.
(Apparently, years of refusing to admit that something might have happened, and could happen again in future, was not conductive to something actually happening between them. Especially with how much he regretted the original event.)
Ed did, indeed, end up between Elicia and Nina when they got home, signing words from the girls' new books, with Al playing willing assistant when Nina struggled with a word, until Elicia started to doze against Ed's side.
Once the girls were in bed, Al convened another plotting discussion over the dining room table.
"Really?" Hughes asked, looking at where Ed was checking over the notes he'd made last night, so he wouldn't forget his ideas. "Tonight?"
:My turning a year older isn't going to put a hold on what's coming,: Ed signed with a flat look. :I don't know when, exactly, that useless bastard–:
"Our father," Al translated helpfully.
Ed rolled his eyes. :That bastard, yes, not this one.: He jerked his thumb at Roy, whose qi suggested at amusement; he was clearly far too used to Ed calling him names. :I don't know when he's going to show his useless face. The sooner we get everything in place, the less we have to do when he shows up.:
"Anyway," Al interrupted, before Hughes could do more than open his mouth, "Brother's pretty certain we have another ally: The Colourway Alchemist."
"Really?" Roy asked, looking interested, while Hughes frowned and Gracia moved into the kitchen to fill the kettle; not a bad idea, probably.
Al glanced at Ed and, at his grimace, sighed, then explained, "The painting he gave Brother, of the array for the argon writing–"
"Is that what it is?" Hughes interrupted.
Ed nodded, while Al said, "It allows him to shape argon into letters, then uses the charge the transmutation lets off to light the letters up."
Roy let out a quiet noise of understanding; he'd probably figured out the argon shaping, but not how it was lit up – most people couldn't automatically read arrays outside their speciality like Ed and Al could; another gift from Truth and their Gates.
Hughes, meanwhile, nodded like that actually made sense. (Given that Ed knew his chemical and alchemical knowledge was pretty limited, he had a feeling Hughes had only understood 'sparks from the active transmutation light up a gas Ed can control'. Which wasn't inaccurate, just simplified.)
Al shrugged, then continued, "Colourway gave Brother another painting, too, of the Dwarf in the Flask's nationwide array."
Roy and Hughes both stiffened, shooting Ed sharp looks.
:From what I could sense, he has no idea what it is or what knowing about it would mean for him if the homunculi found out,: Ed signed, before one of the two could start in on how knowing about the array didn't make someone an ally, or whatever chastisement he could see brewing in their eyes.
"Brother's had it for months," Al reminded them. "I'll try and get a read on Colourway myself, this week, but I'm willing to trust Brother's judgement. And, if he's willing to help us, he can start a distraction in lab four."
There was silence for a moment, then Hughes whistled. "The chemical lab? That'll do a fair job of distracting the military."
"You'll have to direct him to safe chemicals," Roy warned. "Given this administration's focus on war, I don't doubt there are dangerous chemicals in there."
"Ed says there are," Hughes admitted. "The kind that, if or when the civilian populace finds out, there's going to be rioting."
"On second thought," Roy muttered, slumping a bit, "maybe I don't want the Führership."
Hughes laughed at him.
Gracia lightly swatted her husband once she'd set her tray of mugs on the table. "Stop that."
Hughes obediently shut up and helped hand out the mugs.
"How are you intending to speak to Colourway?" Gracia asked, once all the mugs had been passed out and she'd sat again. "From what you've said, you don't get much time alone with the other State Alchemists, other than...the one in the greenhouse?"
"Blooming," Hughes supplied.
Ed frowned as that sparked a thought, then pushed it away for the moment and nodded, turning to look at Roy. :Colourway and his wife own an art gallery.:
Roy blinked, and then realisation bloomed through his qi. "Ah. Sounds like somewhere I might take one of my dates."
"Good luck getting Ed to go," Hughes said into his mug.
:He's not taking me on any dates,: Ed signed with a flat look at his commander.
Hughes frowned. "Why not?"
:You realise most people think I'm only fifteen.:
Hughes grimaced, while Al sat back in his seat with a frown.
"I know a couple women who would be interested," Roy offered.
"You can't–!" Al started.
Ed slapped a hand over his brother's mouth and leant forward until he caught his eyes. 'Stop,' he mouthed. 'This is between Roy and me. Stay out.'
Irritation flared in Al's qi and he pulled back to scowl at Ed, but didn't try arguing any more, for which Ed was grateful. (Though he expected he'd get an earful later.)
Ed looked back at Roy, who had put on a slightly strained smile, his qi marked with discomfort and a sort of tired amusement that Ed fully understood, especially since Hughes was throwing some rather pointed looks at Roy. :I'll warn him you'll drop by,: Ed signed.
Roy cleared his throat, fingers flexing around his mug. "When are you going by lab four?"
:I can hold off until Friday morning.:
Roy nodded. "I'll have an exact date for you by then," he promised, before picking up his tea to sip at.
Gracia looked between Al's scowl, Hughes' stare, and Roy's clear discomfort, then looked at Ed, who rolled his eyes. She let out a quiet laugh and asked, "Are you intending to try and meet up with him properly, then? Or just have Roy be his contact?"
Ed frowned and rubbed at his chin; that...hadn't really occurred to him. Roy could meet up with Colourway in the civilian world without anyone looking at the meeting oddly, and if he took one of his intelligence contacts, she would understand if he skipped off to chat for a bit, but too many visits to the gallery had the potential to catch unwanted attention; State Alchemists didn't usually interact outside of the military's control, unless they had some sort of civilian-side contact before joining up, like Ed and Al had with each other and Roy. While one meet-up like this would be brushed off, it would be noticed if it became a regular thing.
Hughes cleared his throat. "Any weird patterns of meeting up has the potential to raise red flags," he said, echoing Ed's concerns. "I agree that filling Colourway in on everything is going to require meeting in person, away from military scrutiny, and is probably best done with someone who can speak, but since Ed already has regular contact with Colourway, it may be better that we leave that as the main point of passing messages, and Roy can put together another cover date if something more in depth needs to be discussed."
Ed nodded; that sounded like a pretty solid set-up.
Al set down his mug with a little more force than was strictly necessary and asked, "Do you know what chemicals we'll have to work with?"
Ed sighed and grimaced. :Not really. I'm not allowed back there.:
"Safety concerns, doubtless," Hughes commented.
Ed nodded. :Not many teenagers have the sort of chemical safety knowledge I have,: he signed, and amusement curled through everyone's qi, at least a little bit, which eased some of the lingering tension. :I can get in through the tunnel one night, or Colourway may be able to get in; I don't know what permissions he has.:
"I'll try to remember to ask him, if he's amenable," Roy offered with a lopsided smile. "I'd rather avoid you having to sneak around in the labs at night."
:So would I,: Ed admitted, because the last thing he wanted was to get caught by Pride somewhere he shouldn't be; just because he could sense the homunculus, didn't mean he could avoid him.
Hughes sighed and sat back. "I think I can safely say we're all in agreement, there." He picked up his mug and asked, "Any other State Alchemists you want to drag into the fold?" somewhat sarcastically, before taking a drink.
Ed's earlier thought came back to him and he found himself signing, :Yes.:
Hughes straightened, quickly setting his mug down, while Al radiated curiosity. "I was joking, Ed."
:I'm not,: Ed returned with a shrug. :I think we might be able to talk Blooming around.:
"The Blooming Alchemist?" Roy said, frowning in thought. "I admit, I don't know much about him."
"Blooming... Blooming..." Al muttered, before straightening and looking at Ed. "You said he's a single dad with two daughters."
Ed grinned. :Bingo!:
"Man with something to lose," Roy said.
:He told me, once, that he was afraid he didn't spend enough time with his daughters,: Ed signed, looking straight at Hughes, who had said something similar when they'd been working overtime to catch Gloster.
Hughes' eyes narrowed. "How old are his daughters?"
Ed frowned, trying to remember what he'd seen in Blooming's file. :His eldest is a year younger than Al? I think,: he signed slowly. :And his youngest is older than Nina by a few years. But his youngest niece is her age.:
"Hm. This sounds like a job for Elicia, Nina, and me," Gracia said, before anyone else could speak up.
"Gracia–" Hughes started.
She shot him an icy look and his mouth snapped shut – Ed was kind of impressed, and by Roy and Al's qi, he wasn't the only one – then turned a smile on Ed. "Can you get me information on where his family lives, and maybe some photos or a good description, and I'll see about initiating some sort of contact?"
After that display, no way Ed was telling her no, so he nodded and agreed, :I'll see what I can get you next time I get the chance to sneak into the personnel room.:
"I should be more concerned at your disregard for rules than I am," Roy commented rather blandly.
Hughes muffled a snicker in his mug.
"He's worse than you think," Al offered, and Ed frowned at him, confused; what was Al talking about? "He did something illegal to buy our passage to Xing."
'Oh,' Ed mouthed. 'That.'
Hughes sat forward, his eyes gleaming. "Oh? Do share."
:Why? So you can sentence me?: Ed shot back.
"Oh dear," Gracia murmured, while Al moaned.
If anything, that just made Hughes more interested, and he looked at Al. "What did he do?"
Al shook his head and shrugged. "He got a smuggler to get us out–" Roy and Hughes both snorted, likely as aware as Ed that there was no way they'd have got out legally "–but he wouldn't tell me what payment he offered in return."
"Now I'm interested," Roy said, concern worming its way through his qi. Hughes, likewise, had developed a helping of concern, his sharp smile turning a little strained.
:Not like THAT,: Ed signed with a scowl. :Fuck you arseholes. I just forged some documents. Travel permissions and the like.:
" 'Forged'?" Roy asked, as both he and Hughes relaxed a bit, and Al let out a resigned sigh.
Ed shrugged. :Alchemically. You just need paper and ink and to know what you're copying; it's easy.:
Roy closed his eyes, while Hughes started laughing. "Please, for the sake of our future government, don't ever share that array with anyone."
Ed rolled his eyes. :I'm not THAT stupid,: he signed, though the bastard wasn't looking.
"I certainly hope not," Al muttered.
Ed elbowed him.
Hughes made a show of wiping at his eyes, though Ed was fairly certain he hadn't actually been laughing so hard he'd started to cry, and smiled at Ed. "Thank you for that, Ed. Any other State Alchemists you want to drag to the table?"
Ed snorted and shook his head; Iron-Form and Ceramic, both of lab one, had families as well, but he didn't have the same sort of almost-friendship with either of them, not like he did with Blooming and Colourway. He might have some luck with Ceramic – he didn't seem quite so excited about the war focus as Iron-Form – but he wasn't sure it was worth trying to build a relationship at this point, not after so many months of only talking about his research, not when Roy and Gracia were both aiming to make contact with other State Alchemists on the civilian side; there was too much chance of someone asking awkward questions where the wrong sort of person could overhear.
"Let's see how things with Colourway and Blooming go," Roy suggested. "They may provide us with less prominent connections in labs one and three; the more lab distractions we can cause, the less interest anyone will have in what Sca– No, sorry, what name did you use for him, Alphonse?"
"Majhul," Al supplied, clearly pleased to pass that cultural titbit on.
Roy nodded. "The less interest anyone will have in what Majhul is doing."
"The less interest they'll have in what anyone else is doing," Hughes murmured, and Ed knew that was born of concern for Gracia. "The further we spread their forces, the better off we'll all be."
"Very true," Roy agreed.
Al punctuated that with a yawn, then flushed slightly. "Sorry."
Gracia shook her head, offering him a kind smile. "It may be time for everyone to head for bed. You four all have work tomorrow."
"Don't remind me," Roy muttered.
"Technically," Al offered, "Brother and I have the First Branch to tackle."
Ed snorted, while Hughes laughed outright.
Gracia nodded. "Still, the more sleep you get tonight, the better you'll be able to focus tomorrow."
Al ducked his head. "Yes'm."
Ed rolled his eyes and tugged on Al's arm as he stood, signing, :Good night,: as Al got to his feet.
"Good night," Gracia replied, getting up herself and starting to collect mugs.
Hughes followed them upstairs after trading goodnights with Roy, and Gracia joined him after a couple minutes, pulling their door closed.
Al claimed the bathroom first, and Ed rolled his eyes as he changed in his room. Once he'd had his go and went to return to his bedroom, however, he found his way blocked by his brother, who whispered, "You're sleeping downstairs tonight," then closed the door in his face.
Ed blinked at the door for a moment, admittedly more bemused than anything else, before shaking himself, deciding it wasn't worth the lack of sleep fighting with Al would result in, and turning to go downstairs.
He let out a quiet whistle before actually entering the living room, since a light was on, and he heard the sound of one of the couch's springs creaking, then Roy called, "Edward?"
Ed poked his head in and, upon finding Roy sitting up and looking at him, clearly decent, stepped in the rest of the way and signed, :I got kicked out.:
Roy's mouth twitched, amusement curling through his qi. "I did warn you about your brother."
Ed snorted as he reached the end of the couch. And then he just...well, stopped. Because he had two options, really: He could take the other couch, or he could end up sleeping with Roy. Again. And then Al or Hughes would find them and they'd both get so much shit and–
"You're overthinking this," Roy said, sounding a little...surprised?
:I'm not,: Ed signed, feeling a little defensive.
Roy's smile was edged in something like understanding, and he held out a hand. "Stop thinking about Maes and your brother and come here."
:I'm not–:
Ed hadn't even really recognised that Roy had moved until the bastard already had his hands wrapped around Ed's wrists and was pulling. Ed yanked one hand away and caught himself on the back of the couch before his automail knee could connect with Roy's, ending up bowed over the couch, one wrist still held in Roy's hand.
Roy blinked at him, surprise and maybe some...hurt? In his qi.
Ed grimaced and straightened, freeing his trapped wrist so he could sign, :Automail hurts when it rams into you.:
Roy blinked again, realisation blooming slowly through his qi, as his gaze travelled down to Ed's left leg. "I forgot," he admitted, before putting on a smile that looked a little like a lie, and continuing, "which is ridiculous, because I've seen you without–"
Ed leant in and pressed a kiss to the bastard's mouth, carefully slotting his left knee between Roy's legs and shifting his weight onto it.
Roy's arms came up around him, nearly unbalancing him again as he pulled Ed in close. His return kiss had an edge of desperation, like finding water after crossing a desert.
And Ed...got it. Because a part of him had wanted to be stupidly close to Roy all weekend, but telling himself no was uncomfortably familiar, and with Hughes and Al standing there, waiting for them to...
To what? Why did it even have to be Al and Hughes' business what he and Roy did or didn't do? Why couldn't they fucking sort themselves out first, before being public, or what-the-fuck-ever?!
Roy huffed a laugh against his mouth, and Ed pulled back, blinking. "Are you angry with me, or...?" he murmured.
Ed winced and mouthed, 'Them.'
Roy's mouth twisted with an almost-smile and one of his hands left Ed's back to pick carefully at his hair tie. "I'm going house shopping tomorrow, as soon as I can escape without Riza shooting me."
Ed snorted.
Roy's smile eased a bit, became more real, and he brought his other hand up to help work on Ed's hair tie, which had got caught in his hair (and the bastard was clearly determined to be gentle, when Ed would usually have just yanked, cursing the whole while). "Once I have somewhere, you're welcome to ditch Alphonse and Maes and come over. They can assume all they want, while we play chess or debate alchemical theory and argue over what to have for dinner."
Ed's hair came free and fell around them, letting past just enough light, between Ed's bangs, for them to see each other by. It caught in Roy's eyes, glinting like stars in a night sky, and traced the lines of his face, as if Ed needed its help to see how stupidly gorgeous the bastard was.
"How does that sound?" Roy asked, his hands returning to Ed's back, warm through the light fabric of his vest.
Ed leant in and kissed him again, because that sounded pretty fucking awesome. That sounded more like his sort of date, not fancy restaurants and a show or gallery – like Roy probably liked to take his women on, like what Winry had always been interested in – but a quiet sort of evening in, being...them.
"Stay with me?" Roy murmured eventually.
For a moment, Ed wondered if the bastard meant just for that night, or...forever?
(Deep in his heart, in that part of him that had wanted so desperately to stay that morning after, in another lifetime, and damn the consequences, the answer would always be 'yes'.)
"Just for tonight," Roy clarified, because he could clearly read Ed way better than he'd thought he could.
Ed nodded, then shifted down a bit, shoving his hair out of the way behind him, and settled his head against Roy's chest.
Roy shifted a bit, managed to free the blanket without dislodging him – Ed was duly impressed – and pulled it up over them, Ed somewhat absently catching a stubborn edge with his real foot and straightening it out over their feet.
"Goodnight," Roy whispered as he clicked the light off, then curled his hand back under the covers and rested it warmly against Ed's spine.
Ed turned his head just enough to press a kiss to Roy's shirt, which was stupidly sappy, but it wasn't like he really had many options once the lights were out, unless he wanted to unsettle them both so he could clap and muck about with argon just to say 'goodnight'.
Lame.
By the warm, happy curl of Roy's qi against his skin, stupidly sappy served just fine.
(Ed had kind of expected that.)
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